


Overdue

by Geomancy



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Family Drama, Fluff and Smut, Gem Egg Hell, Gemlings, Growing Up, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Parenthood, Pregnancy, Worldbuilding, buckle up because this is gonna be one bumpy ride
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2018-08-23 03:33:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 92,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8312380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geomancy/pseuds/Geomancy
Summary: “Incredible,” Pearl whispers. She can feel them. Eggs. Smooth, round, their offspring… They actually — they actually did it, Amethyst is actually…“Pearl,” Amethyst urges, teeth still clenched in pain from the pressure. “C’mon, wh — what’s going on?”“Four.”“Four?”“Four eggs,” Pearl murmurs, voice weak in her overwhelming joy, a warm wetness seeping from her eyes and plopping onto Amethyst’s stomach.—NOTE: This fic is currently on hiatus and being revised. Some chapters have been merged together as the chapter count was overwhelming. Thank you for the patience!





	1. incredible

"Hey, Pearl."

Pearl's pen ceased its frantic scribbling, and the only sound was the chattering of humans on the television.

"Check _this_ out." Amethyst brought her elbow up to her face and licked it it seductively, grinning like the devil and wiggling her eyebrows.

Pearl rolled her eyes. "That's not fair. You shapeshifted your tongue longer, didn't you?"

Amethyst grumbled something under her breath and flopped back onto her bed. "Ugh, c'mon," she whined. "I wanted to impress you. Why do you gotta be so, like...smart?" Her head tipped off the edge of the bed to watch the little television she had placed atop a heap of a junk upside-down, hair falling around her like a white curtain. 

"I'm trying to concentrate, Amethyst. Please."

Amethyst mockingly mouthed Pearl's words back at her, then began to watch the reality television show in earnest. The noisy scribbles of Pearl's pen continued in the background like a restless kid shaking his leg, and Amethyst spared a glance at her face. Pearl's jaw was clenched and her shoulders were stiff. She stared at her writing as though nothing else in the world existed, and her grip on the pen was far too tight -- were it possible, her knuckles would have likely turned several shades whiter. In any other scenario, Amethyst would have told her take a chill pill, but she couldn't do that when she was the most in need of that medicine out of them all. How many times had they been here before? They had been trying for so long, their days in heat spent fucking themselves raw and listening to the bed creak for hours, often times louder than either of them were moaning, these past few months. They had reassured each other time and time again that all they needed was one more good fuck and then some geodes would magically appear in Amethyst's belly.  _It'll work this time, Amethyst. This time will do the trick!_ But not once had Pearl's seed bore fruit. Not even once.

The fact made Amethyst's heart drop into her stomach like a heavy pillar of ice. There had been several occasions where she showed symptoms of pregnancy, but they had all turned out to be false alarms and unrelated. The sudden nausea? _Eh, just an off day._ Stomach cramps? _Guess that's what I get for eating garbage._ Emotional? _Well, I'm a damn amethyst, aren't I?_

Looking back on it, it should have been obvious from the beginning that the two of them were simply doomed when it came to making children with one another. Pearls were forbidden from any sexual activity on Homeworld, as they were meant to be pure and chaste as well as selectively customised and hand-picked for their owners — leaving their colour schemes up to something as unpredictable as genetics was simply unacceptable. Homeworld had ruled that permanently sterilising pearls entirely was unethical (at least they got that right, Pearl thought), dangerous in the case of possible population emergency, and too difficult anyways due to the fact that gems could shapeshift to be either the carriers or the impregnators, and pearls absolutely required usage of their shapeshifting abilities. In order to suppress her still-existent fertility, Pearl had been forced to take heat suppressants that muted her sex drive completely and guaranteed that she could not become pregnant. She had been off them and happily going into heat for thousands of years now, but acknowledged that there could have been permanent damage done to her ability to reproduce.

And that was just the tip of the iceberg. What about Amethyst? She’d overcooked in the ground, and it was only logical to think that her reproductive system had fried right along with her. Just because she went into heat didn’t mean her body was capable of bearing the stress of geodes, and maybe she was a fool for ever thinking otherwise, for thinking that she could give back to the Earth that she had sapped life from like a parasite. A stupid, useless, runty fool, and a failure of a quartz.

“Are you ready to check?”

Peridot’s well-intentioned prattling about how mates in heat usually got pregnant their first times trying for gemlings certainly hadn’t helped either, and over time, Pearl and Amethyst’s courage and expectations had waned and waned. At one point Amethyst thought that the flames of determination had dwindled entirely, and the only reason they were still having sex was simply because neither wanted to be the first to admit that they had given up.  Like programmed robots, they had carried on fucking, and now they were here again. 

This time, however, Amethyst had a hunch. 

She and Pearl had agreed that they’d always check together so they could share the moment, and as such, Amethyst’s hand had accordingly stayed far away from her potentially swelling stomach — but she had a _hunch_. _You’ll know,_ Vidalia had said. There was a gut feeling, an instinct that mothers inexplicably had when there was life growing inside of them, and that gut feeling was now resting deep in Amethyst’s belly.

“Amethyst?”

“Huh?” Amethyst mumbled. “Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry.” She summoned what confidence she had left and her lips crept into a smile. If Pearl was going to be nervous, then Amethyst would be strong. Strong like a _real_ amethyst, not a toasty little brat who couldn’t make a damn kid even if she was the most fertile gem on Earth. She took a deep, sucking breath and said: “Let’s do this thing, Doctor P.”

“Now, the last time we—“

“Fucked.”

"Really," Pearl grumbled.

Vulgar slang began to pour from Amethyst’s mouth like a fountain. “Diddled. Mated. Were makin’ bacon. Got our freak on. Did the horizontal monster mash. Copulated. Quickied. _Made looove_ ,” she crooned in a silky imitation of Pearl’s voice.

“…Yes. _That_ ," Pearl said, scowling. "We were both in heat, and I shapeshifted and…ah, finished. Inside of you. Correct?”

“Yep,” Amethyst said, spit flying as she popped the ‘p’.

Pearl smiled to herself. Their heat cycles had been wobbly and took a while to merge, but they’d ultimately synchronised, and had remained steady with naught but the occasional few-day hiccup. It was like a type of fusion, in its own way. She checked something off, and continued. “You climaxed, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” Amethyst said.

“And you told me you were having some discharge.”

“Oh yeah, like a fucking waterfall.

Pearl tried her damndest not to get excited. She didn’t want to get her hopes up for nothing. This was still a long shot, after all. Amethyst being able to carry despite being over-incubated herself didn’t sound impossible, but it was still a slim chance. This was why she had offered to carry instead in the first place…

She swallowed thickly. “Describe it.”

“Haha, gross, Pearl." 

“Yes, because you care about decency,” Pearl quipped.

“It’s like, thick. And super stretchy and slimy. And, uh, it’s a really pale purple, y’know, the usual colour it is when I get wet, but the consistency is waaay different. It’s like syrup.” She allowed Pearl to scribble away for a minute. “Lately it’s kinda taking on a teal hue, too. Means something right?”

“Mmm…” Pearl’s pen continued to scratch. “And you were complaining of stomach pains, weren’t you.”

“Yeah, but it might just be from drinking gasoline.”

One corner of Pearl’s lips twitched faintly and she checked another box off.

“You sure I can’t just pee on a stick?” Amethyst asked.

“I am,” Pearl said. “Didn’t you get false positives from that? Our hormones simply aren’t the same.”

“Yeah, but…”

“This would be easier if you were already showing, or if your heat cycle was closer nearby. But with enough pressure and the right spot, we should be able to feel eggs. If...if they’re actually there, of course.”

The earnest, raw look of concern in Pearl’s eyes makes Amethyst’s gut wrench. “I have a good feeling, babe. I wouldn’t have asked you to do this again if I didn’t. Promise.” She blushed madly and reached out to grab Pearl’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “Not gonna rile you up for no reason. ‘Kay?”

“I…’kay,” Pearl said with a punctual mod. She giggled lightly and Amethyst joined in before Pearl took a deep breath and extracted her hand. “Yes, alright. Thank you. Let’s see if we can find something out, yes? Of course, even if it’s a ‘no’, it’s not quite definitive yet. The eggs may not be developed enough to feel, or—“

“I _know_ already. C’mon, stop making yourself all nervous and finger me or whatever!”

“Amethyst!” Pearl squawked. “That’s NOT—“

“Ahahaha, I’m just messing with you!”

Pearl rolled her eyes and an impatient huff spewed from her lips. She set her clipboard aside and beckoned Amethyst to get into a more ideal position. Amethyst phased all of her clothes off besides her black sports bra and boyshorts, and Pearl began to quiver, finding herself having to make the conscious effort not to eye Amethyst’s belly too much -- her eyes would play tricks on her, make her think that her mate's abdomen was fatly swollen with eggs; riper than it truly was. “Lie down straight,” she said. “Yes, that’s perfect.”

Pearl slowly lifted her hand. It was trembling. She gulped down several deep breaths to steady herself, then pressed her sweaty palm firmly to Amethyst’s abdomen.

It hurt when their skin touched, like an electric shock.

_ (Keep it together, Pearl. Just breathe.) _

Pearl slowly added more pressure to her touch as she roamed and felt around the general area where Amethyst’s womb was. She felt nothing. Not a damn thing, just the usual chub and the light fuzz of Amethyst’s belly and the warmth of her earthly body heat. Her touch grew firmer and moved lower.

Sweat broke out on Amethyst’s face as Pearl hit a tender spot. “Ugh,” she groaned.

Pearl swiftly removed her hand. “Are you okay?" 

Amethyst shifted and balled her fists to help with the discomfort. “Yeah,” she wheezed. “Keep going.”

Pearl placed her hand back on Amethyst’s stomach and continued to palpitate with her index and middle finger in circular motions. Amethyst had her teeth clenched, but Pearl felt nothing in her supposedly egg-filled stomach.

Until she felt _something_. She froze.

“P?”

“...Incredible,” Pearl whispered. She'd found her mark, and now she could feel them inside of Amethyst's abdomen: four smooth, solid eggs that encased their developing offspring -- their gemlings. They actually did it. Against all odds, they had done it. Amethyst was actually pregnant. 

“Uh, what? What’s going on?” Amethyst asked, lifting her head. “Is everything cool?”

“You’re pregnant,” Pearl said. “There’s four of them.”

Amethyst’s eyes widened. “No way.”

Warm, wet tears leaked from Pearl’s eyes and dripped onto Amethyst’s stomach. There was life growing inside of that stomach, life that had been forged by the two of them after what seemed like an eternity of desperation; an eternity of that raw, starving passion produced by two beings who were too defective to multiply but too stubborn to give up trying. Somehow, in this twisted world, two wrongs had come together to make a right.

“Oh my God, Pearl!” The floodgates burst open and tears began to stream from Amethyst's eyes. She shot up and grabbed Pearl around her neck, smashing their lips together in a kiss and pecking another on Pearl's cheek and another on her chin and another on her jaw, tasting the salt of her mate's joyful tears. “Pearl, babe! We did it! We're having kiddos! Little gems! Can you believe it?!”

Pearl's mouth opened, but nothing came out beyond a warped choke. She sniffed and wiped her face on the back of her hand, only succeeding in smearing the wetness all over as fresh tears flooded endlessly from her eyes. “I can’t believe it,” she whimpered hoarsely. "A-amethyst, we're...we're actually..."

Amethyst pulled Pearl down on top of her so that she was straddling her abdomen. Pearl caged Amethyst's face in her hands, tenderly kissing her salty, tear-soaked lips, and together they became a knot of elbows and knees and hair. Amethyst untied herself only to whisper one thing in Pearl’s ear:

_ “We’re gonna be mommas, P.” _


	2. for you

Joy had evolved into passion, and Amethyst found herself on top of Pearl, lips against lips in a fierce kiss. Their mouths opened and their tongues met, and Amethyst was tasting Pearl for the first time in months.

How long had it been? 

Amethyst kissed at Pearl’s jaw, her neck, her chest, greedily devouring every inch of skin beneath her like a starved animal. Pearl’s scent was scorching hot, burning Amethyst's nostrils and throat, and her long legs had come up to wrap around Amethyst’s waist, pointed heels digging into her chubby back. Each time Amethyst pressed another kiss against Pearl’s flesh those thighs hugged her even tighter, trapping her and never wanting to let go. 

Amethyst's teeth came together and pinched the pretty porcelain of Pearl's neck, and Pearl _gasped_ , her head tilting back and a soft, breathy moan spilling from her lips. The sound  was startling. How long had it _been_ , seriously?

Amethyst pulled away from Pearl and stared at her. Pearl turned her neck to the side in invitation for more affection, but it never came. She cracked an eye open. 

“Amethyst…?”

“I haven’t heard you moan like that in so long,” Amethyst said. She sounded like she might cry. "I mean, uh, moan like you're really, uh -- really digging it."

Both of Pearl’s eyes had opened now, and she gazed tenderly at Amethyst, a warm smile tugging at her lips. “Oh, honey…”

It was true. Sex had become nothing but mindless, primal intercourse for reproduction, not pleasure. Their attempts had started off lovingly, with all kinds of positions and fun and oral reciprocity, but as their chances of conception seemed to fall, so did their passion. There would be a bit of kissing, and then Pearl would simply shapeshift, enter, thrust for a little while and come with a single grunt.  Her hips opted for short, snapping thrusts rather than their long, heavenly strokes that jutted right up against Amethyst's sweet spot and melted her brain. Eye contact had ceased and, whereas Pearl used to happily attend to Amethyst’s clitoris, somewhere along the line Amethyst had taken over that responsibility, very occasionally opting to not come at all those times where neither was truly in the mood but they needed to check sex off the list for that day anyways. Skin slapping. Bed creaking. Hours had become an hour, and making love had become sex -- not good, hearty fucking, but disposable, dictionary definition  ** _sex_**.

But now they were free. 

Amethyst looked at Pearl, and Pearl looked at Amethyst, and they held a silent conversation of mutual understanding. There was nothing else in the world that existed or mattered to them as much as each other.

“Fuck." Amethyst's lips curled with a growl, and she mouthed at the throat presented to her. “Pearl…”

“Ooh,” Pearl sighed. Sweat coated her form in a thin layer, and the pheromones rose from her like steam. Her hips grinded against Amethyst's lap in slow, deep rolls. She grabbed hold of Amethyst's face and gave her a hot, sloppy kiss, more tongue than lips, her neat little teeth biting at Amethyst's full lower lip and tugging until it popped free with a delicious bounce. She giggled, wicked and sultry, then looked deep into Amethyst’s eyes, and something struck her like a meteor. The tears began to form again, collecting in the corners of her eyes. “How did I end up with a gem like you? I’m so lucky.”

“Hey,” Amethyst said, thumbing at Pearl’s wet eyes with a reassuring smile. “S'okay. You earned it. Deserve it. Never gave up on me. And I’m always gonna do the same for you."

“Amethyst…”

Pearl's heart rammed in her chest so hard she swore it was trying to escape out of her throat. The love she felt deep within the pit of her stomach was one that transcended words, but she felt certain that the the genuine smile on her face as she pressed Amethyst's palm to her cheek said enough.

Amethyst grinned back at her, teeth like a tiger, and leaned in to kiss her gemstone. Pearl quivered under that deeply intimate touch, a kiss to her very soul. Warmth spread throughout her head like a crown, then flooded her body in a warm shower. Her toes curled. 

And then Amethyst's hands were on her breasts. 

“This,” Amethyst purred into her ear, pinching the edge of her top, “has gotta come off.”

“I think you can take care of that yourself, can’t you?”

“Whoa-ho-ho...! No lapdance for me tonight, I guess, huh? Darn.” Amethyst untied Pearl’s sash with a wily grin, letting it fall loosely wherever. She peeled Pearl's top up and off, enjoying each inch of creamy skin that was slowly revealed in the process. While Pearl’s fingers busied themselves with her own chest, Amethyst cupped Pearl’s breasts from underneath and kneaded, thumbs rolling over her nipples, marveling in the hiss that slipped out from between Pearl's teeth. Amethyst leaned in and took one into her mouth to suck on, her teeth grazing lightly.

“Oh,” Pearl moaned, her heart fluttering. “Yes. So good.” 

“Mmm.” Amethyst tested Pearl’s shorts with her free hand, earning an eager buck. Permission granted, she dipped her hand right inside. It was immediately enveloped by sticky humidity as she felt around the fleshy slickness that was her mate’s vulva. She threaded her fingers through the neatly-kept hair that wreathed Pearl's mons, then rubbed her bare outer labia, swollen and as soft as velvet. She pinched, and gave one a teasing little tug, Pearl's slit parting and wetness flooding from cunt to fingers.

“Hnng. More...” 

Pearl's hands departed from Amethyst's chest to splay above her head, and she phased her shorts away, now entirely bare. Amethyst's free hand clasped Pearl's left thigh and spread her apart. The scent hit her nose like a truck, and her mouth watered, drooling onto the bed as she inhaled the foggy, sweet-earthy perfume of her mate's needy sex. She dipped her fat thumb into the snug opening of her cunt, trailing up her vulva to rub the clinging wetness all over the stiffening stem of her clit. She gently pinched at that little bud, glistening like a dewdrop, and Pearl moaned harshly, her thighs jumping with hot-white pleasurable pain. Amethyst smirked. That was her Pearl, oh yes, as sensitive as ever. She toyed Pearl’s plump folds, slicking her hand in wetness before finding the hot entrance and sinking _in_ \-- 

Pearl gasped in discomfort and tightened her arms around Amethyst's neck.  

Amethyst froze. "You okay?"

"Yes,” Pearl breathed, her voice strained. It had been a long time since Amethyst was inside of her for a change, and there had been a twinge of pain upon entry. Incredible. She'd spent so long learning to enjoy penetration, training herself to welcome a mate inside of her, and all in a matter of months it was like her form had forgotten. Would it ever end? She took a rich inhale, and the vice grip her walls had on Amethyst's finger relaxed. “Just go slow, please."

"You got it." 

And Amethyst listened, her fingers sinking deep into Pearl but gradually working her open, the pads massaging the walls in circles like a good massage. Pearl's cunt squeezed rhythmically at her, and the snug outer lips of her cunt hugged at her fingers on the pull-out, working to keep her inside. So greedy, Amethyst thought. That was Pearl. She liked it big. She liked to be filled up. Another finger was added, Pearl twitching beneath Amethyst as she was stretched open. 

"Good?"

"Yes," Pearl said. 

Amethyst's thumb pressed down against Pearl's clit.

"O-oh...!"

It flicked rapidly, the pad brushing against the exposed nub and sending sparks flying up Pearl's spine before it switched to a firm, circular grinding against the hood, tugging upwards ever so slightly. Pearl fisted the sheets and tossed her head back, her neck damp with sweat. Her eyes squeezed shut as the thumb rolled in fast circles. Pleasure began to peak as Pearl bloomed into climax--

and then the thumb left entirely before she could get off.

"Amethyst...!" A scorching whine of complaint spilled from her. The walls of her cunt fluttered and her hips bucked madly. "No more," she ordered hoarsely, and as Amethyst pulled out of her, Pearl mustered the energy to shove her down with a ‘fwomp’. She leaned over and took her nipples between her teeth, rich, dark purple slipping past blue lips--

“Holy shit,” Amethyst blurted out, her face searing as Pearl made eye contact with her. Her hand shaped itself to the back of Pearl’s head as she suckled and kneaded at Amethyst’s plentiful breasts, earning sighs and gasps and curses. The little stings that accompanied her nibbles were to die for, leaving Amethyst’s body tingling and mildly sore and like somebody had actually left their mark on her, that somebody had wanted her. 

_ (Ugh.) _

The discomfort began to turn in her stomach. But Pearl was now kissing a path down her belly, gaze flickering upwards to meet hers, and she couldn’t think hard for long.

Pearl hiked one of Amethyst’s legs over her shoulder, but she didn't take the shorts off, instead opting to dip her head down and lick her through the cloth. 

Amethyst choked.  “F-fuh— Pearl—" 

Pearl hummed and pressed her tongue against Amethyst’s clit, a wet spot forming from both her saliva and Amethyst’s arousal.

“Is this ‘cause I kept teasing you? Fffuck — Pearl, please—“

“Louder,” Pearl growled.

“Please, Pearl, holy shit—“ 

That does the trick. Or so Amethyst thought. Pearl peeled her shorts down with her teeth, but instead of giving her a good licking, opted to just ghost her hot breath all over that swollen, puffy sex instead. 

“Babe, you’re killing me over here,” Amethyst wheezed. 

“You're about to go to heaven, that’s for sure.”

“Holy fuck,” Amethyst said, breath hitching and hips bucking towards Pearl as she finally laved her tongue over her clit. She lazily dragged the hood back and pulled on it, hands collecting under Amethyst's ass to squeeze and knead the flesh. Amethyst reached down with the hand that wasn’t in Pearl's hair and spread her plump labia apart in sticky offering. It earned an appreciative hum, and Pearl’s tongue happily provided some worship to the fat outer lips in broad, flat strokes, even lapping over Amethyst’s fingers. Amethyst shuddered.

Pearl’s lips sealed around Amethyst's clitoris to suck and trace circles that make her eyes go blurry and her thighs tense, and, not wanting it to be over just yet, Pearl extracted herself with a pop. She sat up and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, then gave a Amethyst a familiar, hungry look. It was routine. They shuffled around to find the proper position, accidentally kneeing each other as their legs intertwined and the folds of their cunts met and rubbed.

"Oh, fuck," Amethyst moaned. "Feels fucking good, Pearl."

Pearl hummed her agreement, shifting herself and earning a mutual gasp as their clits pressed together, warmth and ecstasy spreading through them from head to toe. Their combined wetness smeared all over their inner thighs, forming sticky, clinging strings. There was a loud whine as they slammed harder into each other, nailing that sweet spot each and every fucking time; and then specks clouded Pearl's vision, and she was losing focus, and she was climbing -- and then the inside of her eyelids was painted white and the deliciously satisfying, wholesome orgasm they had collectively craved flooded over them.

 

* * *

 

“Phew,” Amethyst said. “Wow. You still alive over there?”

“Am I ever,” Pearl cooed dreamily.

The two of them were flopped against the mattress, wheezing and panting and trying to catch their breath. Amethyst blew her hair out of her face, only to find it floated back down and stuck to her lips again. She glanced over at Pearl and was pleased to find that she had a lazy, overloaded grin on her face, arm covering her eyes as she sucked in useless gulps of oxygen. Pearl glanced back at her, and then she grabbed the blankets and pulled them over the both of them, cuddling up to Amethyst for warmth now that so much of the generated heat had departed.

Amethyst grazed her lips against Pearl’s hair. “We really had to let that one out, huh.”

Pearl nodded in agreement. 

“I say we move that TV back around so we can have a nice naked television night. Oh, hey! Let’s watch that one show we really like. The one where the family is famous for, like...y'know...that one! Where they have a bunch of arguments. You know what I mean, right?" 

Pearl nodded once more.

Amethyst hopped out of bed and tugged the pile of junk that served as a table for their television over to a spot where they can see it. Pearl propped herself up and watched Amethyst do her thing, teal still dusting her cheeks.

“...You’re chubby, Amethyst,” she said quietly.

“Uh, yeah," Amethyst snorted. "What the hell, Pearl? You just now realised that? You come a little too hard or something, babe? If you need to lie down I can--”

Pearl laughed. “No, no. Of course I noticed before. I was just thinking that it’s cute and had to mention it.”

“Oh,” Amethyst mutters, blushing hard. “Well, uh, whatever."

Amethyst climbed back in next to her, and Pearl rested her head on her chest, idly tracing shapes on her stomach as they watched the ridiculous television program. Amethyst kissed the top of her head, wondering for a moment if that pearl that belonged to Yellow Diamond was just as quirky as this one. Sure seemed like it.

“Hey,” she whispered. 

Pearl lifted her head. “Yes?”

“Can you…can you show me where to feel them?” Amethyst glanced down at the white hand on her belly.

Pearl took Amethyst's hand and pressed it into her skin in the same spot she had located earlier, moving it around until she sees her eyes widen. 

"Oh," Amethyst said, her chest soaring as awe consumed her. "Holy shit." Life. Life was inside of her. She'd made something. Multiple somethings. She wasn't broken after all. Somehow, here on planet Earth…

“Our children,” Pearl said, her eyes twinkling.

Amethyst swallowed, her hand massaging her stomach, passing over those four lumps over and over again. “Jeez, one of 'em is really big. I wonder if that’s the one that’s been killing my stomach lately.”

“It’s an amethyst, then,” Pearl said, kissing at her neck.

“What if she’s just a really big pearl?”

Pearl laughed. “Pearls are tall and thin. Not broad.”

Or at least that was what she guessed. Never in her life had Pearl seen a pearl gemling. Maybe they were a little pudgier. Maybe their noses turned out a little shorter. She knew enough about gemlings to say that the general framework wouldn’t be turned completely upside down, but there would be no way of knowing specific features until the eggs were laid and, more specifically, until they hatched. Pearl was not meant to have sex, and pearl gemlings were not meant to exist, and that was that.  Quite proudly, with her nose up, Pearl had disobeyed both of these codes.

Amethyst continued to move her hand around her stomach absently. She couldn’t believe that there were babies inside of her. It all felt like a dream, but it was completely real. How was that for defective, huh? How was that for overcooked and bad and wrong? “I don’t really look that much fatter.” 

Pearl laughed. “You’re not very far along yet. It will come, as will the other changes: my...overprotectiveness, high energy, your nesting, your hoarding, if that can even get any worse… We’ll see in due time. It’s a very emotional, process,” Pearl said into her skin. “Most mates end up much closer to each other. I look forward to that.”

“The whole, uh, nesting thing… I don’t really have a say in where it is, right?”

“Not much, no. It’s not exactly a conscious choice. You’ll find yourself drawn to that spot, and then before you know it…” 

"What do they do on Homeworld? Are there just nests, like, everywhere?" 

"Not in any of the working quarters. That's strictly forbidden. But in the living districts, yes. Your nest can either be outside -- in a cave, perhaps -- or in a nursery, which are special establishments for nesting mothers." 

"Uh, didn't you say you can't choose it?"

Pearl fumbled. “W-well, I — there can be some choice involved, but I don't want you to worry too much. Just follow your instincts, okay? As long as it's reasonable."

"What counts as reasonable?" 

"I'm done talking about this."

"Ahahaha!"

A nest. Just like a bird. Maybe Pearl should have been the pregnant one after all? Jeez, no wonder she was so desperate for it. Amethyst laughed. Mentally, of course. No way in hell she was saying that one out loud. 

"These kids are gonna have the coolest parents ever," Amethyst said, puffing her naked chest out. "Oh, yeah, when are we gonna tell the others?” 

“Soon,” Pearl said. “Tomorrow in the afternoon, perhaps… Oh, everyone’s going to be so excited!” Her voice quivered giddily, barely able to contain her excitement as she rolled back on top of Amethyst. 

“I know, right?! Steve-o’s gonna freak when we tell him he’s gonna have siblings!”

They chitchatted for a long while, tossing questions and answers back and forth. At some point, though, Amethyst had stopped talking and left only the sound of the television, leading Pearl to think she had fallen asleep. She let the program drift into background noise, and her own thoughts steadily grew louder.

_ (I'm going to be a mother. Oh my goodness, I'm going to be a mother. Do you hear me, Homeworld? It's been thousands of years since I left your atrocious laws behind, and now I'm having children!)_

And then a face popped into her head, a pink face with a pointed nose, one that was thousands of years old yet still familiar. And then another one. Black. White. Purple. Yellow. Blue. A hundred pearls dotted Pearl's mind, some of them batchmates, some of them friends, some of them rivals, plenty of them strangers -- though, only to an extent, because each and every pearl understood that solely unique position of being someone else's prized luxury yet absolutely nobody all at the same time, and in that position they found inherent solidarity. Many of them wore bright, energetic smiles. Many of them were quiet and demure: Good Pearls. And many of them were hollow, lifeless, tired and mentally numbed from thousands of years of being property.

An odd concoction of emotion swirled in Pearl's stomach. She could pick out a few of the ingredients. Warm nostalgia. Fondness. A gnawing sense of longing, not entirely for what was, but for what could have been if they had--

Amethyst suddenly propped herself up. “What d’ya think Rose would say?”

Pearl’s heart stopped and her blood turned cold, eyes opening and widening to the size of table plates.

“I — wha…what?”

“She’d be so proud of us, P.”

Pearl released breath she didn’t realise she was holding, the frost in her veins thawing instantly. Why did she always have to misunderstand things? Her lids shut again, smiling peacefully as she snuggled up to Amethyst. Broad arms wrapped around her waist to hold her close, and Amethyst yawned into her hair before kissing at the top of her head.

Rose would be happy. So unbelievably happy. Her smile would spread like wildfire. Even lying here now, she could feel the warmth of its glow.

“...She absolutely would."

Pearl's eyes closed. The pearls remained painted beneath them until she fell asleep.

* * *

 

Pearl woke with a jolt.

Damn nightmares. She was soaked with her own sweat, and her chest felt stiff and taut as her mind flooded with vicious imagery of death and destruction.

_ (The war is over. Over! And it's been over for a very long time, Pearl. Just breathe. It's. Over.) _

She ran her hands down her wet face and released a tremendous exhale. This was why she disliked sleeping. Going into a completely defenseless state for eight hours straight was a ludicrous idea, one that was just asking for trouble. This was how people died, wasn't it? How would you know if someone was nearby? Or planning something?  

_ (oh, boy. you're just asking for trouble now, rebel pearl. fucking begging for it. i'll KILL you.) _

_ (Over. It's over. It's completely over.) _

Pearl allowed herself a glance at Amethyst’s sleeping face. The sight took the edge off. She had seen the look hundreds if not thousands of times, but it never failed to be just as adorable as the very first, especially those pouty lips that made her look like a grumpy Persian cat or something. She’d kiss her on them, but Amethyst would probably wake up.

What time was it, anyways? Four in the morning?

She was still nude. Perhaps it was about time to put some clothes back on now that she had woken, but Amethyst had once told her how much she adored waking up to and cuddling with her naked. That, and how she’d kill for Pearl to wear nothing but an apron and wake her up with pancakes in bed one morning to fulfill a sexy fantasy. With all the sexy things Pearl could do for or to Amethyst, she never understood why she was so set on that one in particular, but she hadn't said no.

Pearl dug around in the sheets until she found the remote, turning the volume down low and subtitles on and then switching the channel. She thought quietly for a little while, trying to remember which one of Amethyst’s beds this was and if she had stashed anything away…

Aha!

Grinning to herself, Pearl turned around to her pillow and reached into the pillowcase, pulling out a thick stack of papers: a research lab about bacteriophage that she had been reading and stored here for next time. The bright light of her gemstone flickered to excited life to use as a reading lamp, and she leaned back comfortably.

Ten minutes into her reading, a groan sounded from her side and Amethyst rolled over, shaking the whole bed with the way she flopped. “Yo, you got a dimmer for that freaking thing, P?”

“Yes,” Pearl whispered, the light from her stone promptly dimming. “I’m sorry. Did I wake you up?”

Amethyst rolled back over, a complete, perfect replica of the first motion.  “Nah,” she said. “Well, yeah, but not with the light. I woke up ‘cause I wasn’t spooning your cute little pearly butt anymore and it felt wrong. Not sleeping?”

“I don’t need to." 

“But you were, before you woke up.” Having said it out loud, concern trickled into Amethyst’s features, sleepy as she is. She placed a hand on Pearl’s thigh, giving it a squeeze and rubbing up and down. “Everything okay, babe? Here for ya.” 

“Yes,” Pearl replied. Pearl settles her papers down on the floor next to the bed — reluctantly, she hadn’t reached the ‘Results’ page yet — so she can put a hand over Amethyst’s. “Thank you, Amethyst.”

“You sure? Anxious about anything?”

“No,” Pearl said. “…A little."

"Nightmare?"

"Yes."

Amethyst's eyes furrowed. "Babe."

"That, and, I'm...anxiously excited.” She rolled onto her side in defeat, and Amethyst’s warm body pressed against her back, heavy arms draping over her waist.

“Ohhh, I know what this is about,” Amethyst laughed into the nape of her neck. “Hasn’t even been a week yet. C’mon. Don’t overthink stuff about the lil’ gems. At least not yet, okay?”

“I know," Pearl said, guilt eclipsing her features. "I’m sorry… You’ve been so good about this, Amethyst, and I’m already getting worried and ruining it. I…”

“Shh. It’s alright, Pearl. I promise. Not ruining anything. I know how you are, and you don’t mean bad. Try and chill, okay? I’m not going anywhere. Everything’s gonna be just fine.”

“Okay,” Pearl said, her chest deflating in an attempt to release her tension. “Thank you. I’ll try.”

“No prob, P,” Amethyst said, punctuated with a slimy lick up Pearl’s cheek. Pearl squawked in disapproval, swatting Amethyst away and wiping slobber off her face, and they entered the classic  _“No! Come baaack, Pearl, I just thought it’d be funny,”_ dispute until they sorted everything out and were all over each other again. 

“You know,” Pearl said into Amethyst’s chest. “Gemlings… It’s still not a necessity for them, but they do show a particular tendency to...sleep. Often.”

“Aw, really?! That’s adorable! More snuggle partners for me, heh…”

Amethyst didn’t know when she became such a cheese ball, but the thought of Pearl holding one of their sleepy, cozy daughters to her chest, inviting Amethyst to come join in, the tiny gem — a little pearl, maybe — giving a pleased chirp at the warmth, falling sound asleep… Holy, fucking, shit **.**  Did her heart actually explode? It did. It totally just did, into a million little bits. She couldn’t wait until those little troublemakers inside of her meet the world…

_ (Out! Out! Outta my uterus, right now! Can you hear this?! This is your mother telling you to be born already! Hello-ooo!) _

“I bet they’re gonna inherit that,” Amethyst said, puffing her chest out. “From me. Get the fun stuff from the fun mom, get the boring stuff from the nerd mom."

“If they’re getting anything from you I certainly hope it’s not that attitude,” Pearl barked playfully.

 “Ouch! M'kay, fine. We’re even. Come on, P, let’s try and go back to sleep.”

“Amethyst…”

“Ugh, can you just try for me? Please?” She donned irresistible puppy-dog eyes.  “Okay, like, even if you don’t fall asleep, can you keep your eyes closed and just…think about nice things? No bad stuff or worrying."

“Fine,” Pearl sighed, defeated. “I’ll do my best.”

Amethyst grinned and planted a kiss on Pearl's lips as they curled up again. “Thaaanks.”


	3. bull by the horns

When Amethyst woke the next morning, the spot next to her in bed was empty.

Nothing new there. It wasn’t that Pearl had actively ever tried to make Amethyst feel like a one night stand, it was that her knowledge of post-sex etiquette largely only extended up to a few hours after the act, and Amethyst’d never bother to fill her in otherwise.

In Pearl’s own words, pearls were meant to move. Homeworld forced them to keep still while at work, but it went entirely against their nature of needing exercise and activity, and their internal energy only built up until it later on exploded in a furious fit of song and dance. Pearl would lie with Amethyst for a few hours after lovemaking, head on her sweaty chest and arms around her neck and her lips peppering kisses across her shoulders, and then she would grow antsy and restless and ultimately depart early in the morning. Sometimes she’d cuddle longer — the whole night, if her mind treated her kindly for once — and oh, how Amethyst relished those mornings when she woke and her lovely Pearl was still in her arms.

She wondered if Pearl had managed to sleep at all last night, what with the concoction of emotions that the reveal of Amethyst’s pregnancy had brewed up. Slim chance. She could barely ever get to sleep as it was, what with her endless stream of thoughts and her late night leg-bouncing and the violent nightmares that plagued her. She hardly lasted five minutes before her gemstone vomited up a hellish projection and Amethyst was shaking her awake.

Amethyst peeled the blankets down, resting her hands on her fat stomach. She pressed her fingers into her skin, feeling where the geodes were growing inside of her. Awe began to blossom inside of her once more, that giddy, full-body feeling of prosperity. She was pregnant, and several months from now, she would be curled around a clutch of geodes. She felt warm down to her toes.

With a content sigh, Amethyst closed her eyes and drifted back to sleep, hands still on her belly. She did good. She deserved another ten or twenty minutes.

 

* * *

 

 

“Ahhh,” Amethyst muttered as she stepped out of her room, patting her stomach. “Morning, Steve-o.”

“Amethyst! Hey, hey!” Steven waved to her and beckoned her up the stairs. He was on his bed, lying on his stomach with a controller in his hands. “Wanna play games with me? I’ve got my extra controller!”

Amethyst’s brows pulled together guiltily. “Aw, maaan… You know I totally wanna, but I’m kinda busy. I was looking for Pearl and Garnet and—“

“Oh, they’re on a mission,” Steven said.

Amethyst gasped. "Huh?! A mission? And they didn’t ask me?”

“Oh, uh! Well, actually, Pearl said you weren’t feeling good…” 

“Huh?”

“Yeah! She said you ate a bunch of tinfoil and your stomach was hurting because of it and that you really needed some extra rest.” Steven’s thumbs mashed away at the buttons, his gaze never diverging from the television screen.

“Whaaaoooh — oh, uh, yeah! That.”

Smooth. Jesus Christ. 

So Pearl had lied. At least it was for a good cause — not wanting to disturb her pregnant mate was certainly admirable. Besides, Amethyst had to admit that tinfoil sounded good right about now. Everything sounded good right about now, in fact. She could eat her own damn boots.  The thought alone had her salivating madly. Cravings. She was having cravings because she was fucking _pregnant_  and there were four little lives inside of her and holy _shit_ , the thought was so exciting she could throw up. She swallowed thickly, eyeballing the fridge that she was ready to downright massacre. 

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah,” Amethyst said. “I’m feeling muuuch better now. Almost like it didn’t happen. Heh, thanks, Ste-man.”

“No problem!” Steven ‘whoop’ed as he landed a sick combo on his game. “Oh, yeah! Connie wanted to know if she can come over tonight.” 

“Why’re you askin’—“ 

Amethyst quickly stopped herself. No more passing things along to gems 'more responsible' than her. If she was going to be a mother  _(I'M GOING TO BE A FUCKING MOTHER!)_  then this was as much her problem as Pearl's or Garnet's. Right. Responsible Amethyst, coming through.

“I mean, uh...yeah.As long as she gets home on time and…don’t do any, uh…don’t rob banks and stuff.” 

Fuck, she was not ready for this mom thing, and her swirling excitement was replaced by a deep pit of lurching worry. Nope. It was weird, weird, weird. She was fun, not lame.

Steven hands flew up in victory, but his joy was short-lived: letting go of his controller opened him up to to a beating from his opponent, and his character perished in a pixelated slurry. “Aw man..."

Amethyst walked to the fridge and yanked the door open. It wasn’t the real food that looked appealing to her, but what contained them: the milk cartons, the plastic bags, the sauce jars. Well, shit. Usually she drank the milk and then devoured the carton, but now all she wanted was the carton. How was that going to work? Something else, maybe. Her gaze locked on a carton of eggs. Bingo! The shells -- yum. She could drink the yolks down and munch on the shells. That was what she was really craving.

Just as she has the whole carton scooped up in her arms, Pearl and Garnet returned on the warp pad.

“Hey, guys!” Steven said, waving a hand. “Welcome back!”

Pearl’s eyes were closed and her hands rested proudly on her hips, but when they opened and she saw Amethyst, she nearly fell over. Amethyst squinted at her suspiciously and Pearl blushed, gazing back apologetically.

“Mission successful?” Amethyst asked, rolling her eyes. 

“Yes,” Garnet said. She stepped off of the warp pad. “Corrupted gem. Taken care of, bubbled as always.” 

Pearl tented her hands and followed by Garnet’s side. “Steven…?” she said. “The…dog, is out of food. You wouldn’t mind going to the store and picking some up for him, would you?”

“Aye-aye, captain!” Steven said with a salute, rushing down the stairs and pausing right before the door. “Wait…” 

Pearl’s breath hitched. 

“Grain…or grain-free?”

“Grain-free,” Amethyst said.

“Alright! Back in a jiffy!” He darted out of the door and it slammed shut behind him. 

“Pearl,” Garnet said slowly. “We don’t have a dog.” 

“I know,” Pearl said, catching her panicked breath. “He’ll realise that in ten minutes or so, which is why we have to be quick. I wanted to tell you first. Alone.”

“Tell me what?”

Pearl looked at Amethyst. 

“What? Oh! Oh, jeez, we're gonna tell her?! Right, uh…”  Amethyst took a spot next to Pearl, putting an arm around her waist and grinning awkwardly at Garnet. Never in a million years did she expect she'd be doing this, announcing the kids that Pearl -- fucking Pearl, nerd supreme -- implanted into her. Her heart began to throb, and it felt like she was choking on it.  “Okay. Hoo, boy, alright. Me and Pearl—“

“Pearl and I.”

Amethyst dug her fingers into Pearl’s sides. Her palms were wet and her grip was slipping. “Pearl and I, are, uh…” 

“Amethyst is pregnant,” Pearl blurted out, and the two of them felt their stomachs collectively dive off a cliff. 

“Yeah! Thaaat. Yep, that is a thing that has happened, haha! Little pearls running around, little amethysts…”  The nervous, forced laughter crept out of Amethyst, and by her side, Pearl looked like she had turned several shades whiter. She shook and trembled as though she were about to faint, and her mind raced miles per minute. The familiar silence from Garnet didn’t help her nerves in the slightest. Amethyst gave her a squeeze for what it was worth.

“Pearl, Amethyst,” Garnet finally said.

“Ye — yes?”

“I’m so happy for you.”

Pearl and Amethyst stared at her, utterly stunned.

…and then they burst into laughter like an exploding balloon, giddy with joy and relief. Garnet gave them one of those rare smiles of hers, her shades phasing away and her triple-eyed gaze warm. She grabbed Pearl and Amethyst into a tight, bone-crushing hug, and cried away into her, the massive burden lifted off of their shoulders like Atlas carrying the Earth. Garnet proudly let them.

The door swung back open in the middle of their embrace. “Peaaarl! We don’t have a — woah! Okay, okay, analysis, Crystal Gems are hugging, Crystal Gems are crying, what is going on—“

“Gemlings,” Pearl said, turning to look at Steven. She sniffled and wiped the tears away from under her eyes.

“What's a gemling?” 

“Babies,” Amethyst said. “I'm pregnant. We’re having babies, me ’n’ Pearl.”

Steven’s face dropped.

“No, no! Dude! Like, cute little gem babies, not gross human babies! I’m not gonna disappear or anything—“

“Oh. My. GOSH!” Steven clapped his hands over his face, stars in his eyes.“Baby gems! I didn't even know those existed! No way! Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?!”

“We just found out yesterday,” Pearl whispered. The tears ran freely, soaking Garnet’s chest with wetness.

Overcome with delight, Steven launched himself at the three of them. “You guys! I'm so happy for you!”

 

* * *

 

The onslaught of questions was immediate. 

Pearl had prepared herself well for this — or, at least she thought she had. Steven, though… He did always have a habit of exceeding expectations, of possessing unpredictable capabilities.  The best preparation, in this case, would have been not even bothering with it and just going with the flow, wouldn’t it?  Unfortunately, Pearl had never been that kind of gem, and she likely never would be, not completely. She was the thinker, the organiser; she needed to have some sort of plan laid out to follow, a wave to surf, lest she drowned under the ocean of her anxiety, swallowed up by her own mind. Many let the 'flow' take them wherever it pleased; Pearl purposely drifted the other way when the stream split in two so that she avoided the rapids.

She can’t run forever, though. The rapids caught her, this time, and they had carried her over to a place that was something like this:

“How is this even possible?!” 

All eyes were on Pearl. The hint flew over her head, and it took Garnet’s visor-less burning uncomfortably into her and Amethyst's mischievous grin by her side for her to realise the implication. Her face ignited so brightly it didn't look real.  “O-oh! That’s…” she sputtered like an engine starting up. “It’s…similar to human reproduction, I suppose, but with a few…modifications. Well—“ she laughed nervously, “during a specific period of fertility, gems can successfully produce children with one another via shapeshifting the required organs. And they—“

“Are we gonna have a baby shower?”

“A what? Well, of course we’ll need to clean them off when they hatch, as they’ll be covered in—“

“Have you guys chosen names yet?!”

Pearl tilted her head.  “Steven… Gemlings take the names of their gemstones, just like other gems.”

He pouted. “But…how am I gonna tell you guys apart?” 

“It's not as difficult as it seems. You'll get used to it.  

Amethyst pulls Pearl down to sit with her on the living room’s couch. "Heh. We’ll give ‘em nicknames, Steve-o. Maybe that’ll help?” 

“No daughter of mine is going to be called‘Eyeball’, Amethyst.”

“Hey! I didn’t say—“

“What are they gonna look like?”

“We won’t know that until they’re with us,” Pearl said. She was rather curious about how her spawn were going to look like, herself. It was like a puzzle; she and her mate were the pieces. A hand went to her chin in thought.

“They’ll have a combination of Amethyst and I's features for certain, but how that’s all going to end up arranged is a complete mystery…”

“Cute,” Garnet offers as an answer to Steven. She earned a grin. 

“Are they gonna have powers?” Steven pressed. 

“Why wouldn’t they?”

“Do they wear clothes?”

Pearl inhaled and nudged into Amethyst’s side, trying to keep her cool. Steven was barely giving her a chance to finish her answers before tossing out a new question. 

“Not when they first hatch, no. We’ll have to dress them.  _Gemlings_ , you see, are a bit different from gems formed via other means — at least for the beginning of their lives. After a few months, however, when they’ve obtained a decent enough handle on their shapeshifting abilities for basic maneuvers, they’ll modify their forms and dressings however they see fit. Oh, that reminds me: we’ll have to  _make_  something for them to wear, Amethyst, Garnet… I — I don’t believe human stores carry ‘gemling’ sizes, if I’m not mistaken—“

“Connie’s mom is a doctor! Can she help Amethyst have the babies?! _Ooh!_ Ooh! I know! I’ll go call right now!” 

“Steven!” Pearl shrieks. “No! No!! I didn’t say yes, Steven!  _Don’t!_ ”

 

* * *

 

After stopping Steven from calling Connie and her mother and shooing him away (Garnet knowingly and respectfully leaving so Pearl and Amethyst can have some privacy), Pearl turned to her mate, hoping for a bit of alone time and whatever it entails together.

The look she got, though, was not the warm, loving one she’d grown so familiar with seeing, but rather an upset, stern glare. Amethyst’s arms, instead of being wide open for Pearl to dive into, were wrapped around her legs, knees to her chest and boots on the couch. Her one visible eye kept its gaze fixated on Pearl, occasionally flickering away when the eye contact gets too intense, huffing and puffing strands of hair out of her face every so often.  

“…Amethyst?” Pearl asked.

“ _Forgetting_  something, Pearl?”

“I… Oh, goodness, did I leave the stove on again?" 

Amethyst groaned. She had forgotten already. Perhaps it was partially her own fault. It was never wise to beat around the bush with Pearl, after all: just get straight to the point, or she’d sit there guessing things she forgot for days on end.  Amethyst sweptn her sidebang away, both eyes now visible. “Why did you just sneak offlike that to a mission without telling me so I could come with you guys? I  _told_  you I want to be more responsible,  _Pearl_. I can’t do that when I’m not even bein’ told what’s up…”

“…You don’t understand?”  


Amethyst groaned again. Typical. Typical Pearl. Her expression was soft and genuine. She was so mind-blind, lacking in the social understanding to comprehend that the people and gems around her don’t always think the way  _she_  does, that they aren’t always on the same page as her. She ends up confused and baffled with each and every reminder of that fact. It’s frustrating, this aspect about Pearl, but it’s not her fault: she simply isn’t socially adept. Amethyst tries to be patient.

 

“Understand what?! Can’t you just tell me the reason?”

 

Pearl sighs. “We’ve been very busy lately and you were tired, and—“

 

“The real reason. Don’t lie.”

 

“I wasn’t lying,” Pearl snaps, flustered, flushing the way she often does when she’s been challenged. “That was the  _first_  half of my sentence. You didn’t let me finish.”

 

“…Okay. Sorry. Uh, go on…”

 

“Amethyst, you’re not going on any missions or partaking in any of your usual roughhousing until you lay the eggs.”

 

“Wha—“ Amethyst nearly chokes. “Why  _not?!_   _Pearl!_  Dude, we  _agreed_  on this, that you were gonna help me out so I could work on being more—“

 

“Amethyst,” Pearl repeats. The name rolls off her tongue smoothly, gently, well aware that she’s poking at a fire. “You’re carrying  _eggs_.  _Our_  eggs. And, to be frank with you, you’re not exactly the most… _elegant_  of fighters. If you were to have to retreat into your gem, or you took a hit to the abdomen, the geodes…”

 

Amethyst’s stomach drops, face going blank in a sudden understanding.  _Duh._  Stupid. God, she’s _stupid._  She drifts off and takes her knees away from her chest, feet planted back on the floor, arms by her sides.

 

“…Oh.”

 

Pearl takes a seat next to her and clutches her hand in her own. Amethyst doesn’t attempt to pull apart, but doesn’t react in any other way, either: she just sits there, limp.

 

“You didn’t think of that?”

 

“…No. But, it’s…pretty obvious.  _Ugh_. Fuck! This whole mom thing is already really tough.”

 

“I thought you realised you’d have to take things easy for a while. I’m sorry, Amethyst. I didn’t expect you to be so disappointed.”

 

“’s fine,” she mutters. “I feel kinda dumb, but…how am I supposed to prove that I can be all mature and responsible now?”

 

“You’re not dumb, Amethyst,” Pearl says, leaning in to smooch her cheek. Amethyst starts to come back from the metaphorical dead, at that, life returning to her, squeezing Pearl’s hand. “This is all new to us, and I should have told you from the beginning that your pregnancy would restrict you from strenuous activity like that. It doesn’t mean you can’t work on your responsibility, though. The most responsible thing you can do is take care of yourself and our children. That proves more than enough to me about what kind of parent you are.”

 

“Yeah,” Amethyst says. “Yeah, you’re right. Guess I’m still a little pissed, but… I  _really_  don’t want anything bad to happen to the gemlings, so… Well, there’s tons of stuff I can help with around here, especially now that we’ve got these preparations to make, yeah?”

 

“That’s the spirit,” Pearl coos.

 

“Hahaha. Thanks, Pierogi. I’m sorry I got an attitude and all with you.”  


 

“It’s alright,” Pearl assures her. “And  _I’m_  sorry. For my lack of communication.”

 

Amethyst climbs into her lap, facing her. She pulls her mate’s face down for a kiss, a firm, wholesome one, Pearl’s hands to her waist, running over her pregnant belly. When they pull away, Amethyst’s still smooching at her cheeks and her jaw, prompting ticklish giggles.

 

“Man,” she purrs into porcelain of Pearl’s skin. “I love you  _so_  much, P.”  


 

“I love you, too.”

 

“Love you more.”

 

“And I love  _you_  more.”

 

“Love you equal?”

 

Pearl laughs. “That works.”

 

Amethyst leans her head on her chest and they sit there in silence for quite some time. Pearl's chin rests atop her hair, her hands smoothing over her swelling stomach, her back…

 

“So,” Amethyst says. “Since I can’t play _,_ are you gonna like, carry me around and stuff?”

 

“I said no  _fighting_ , not no  _walking_.”

 

“Awww…”

 

Pearl rolls her eyes but smiles anyways, scooping her mate up in her arms in a bridal-style carry and standing up to make off with Amethyst wherever she pleases.  Amethyst’s arms wind around her neck, grinning coyly back at her, teeth so white they’re near blinding. “Huh-huh,” she rasps lowly. “We married now or something, babe?”

 

_“_ Marriageis a human tradition."

 

“In that case, wouldn’t mind being human for a little while,” Amethyst says, her expression softening and her eyes full of warmth. “...Yeah. If it’s with you, wouldn’t mind one bit.”

* * *

 

“Congratulations,” Lapis says when she’s landed on her feet, her water-wings retracting. Steven was on her back. “I bet you’ll be great parents.”

 

Before Pearl can thank her, there’s some clunking around in the shed — and out comes Peridot, scampering towards them.

 

“ _Steeeven!"_

 

"Already said hi to me, Peri!"

 

"The P—…  _Peaaarl!_   _Aaamethyst! Laaapis!”_

 

“I live with you,” Lapis says. "You see me every day."

 

“Yo, you forgot  _Garnet_ , Peri,” Amethyst notes, thumb pointing over her shoulder at Garnet.

 

“Oh!” Peridot clears her throat, eyes closed, coughing into her fist. “My sincerest apologies. She tends to… _ahem_ …blend into the surroundings.  _Gaaarnet!”_

 

Garnet waves.

 

“Yes, well,” Pearl starts after a collective minute of awkward silence, gaze fixed on Peridot. She knows Steven already told her, what with his patience level. “You’ve actually forgotten  _two_  things, Peridot.”

 

"What?! Oh! Right, of  _course!_  How terribly rude of me. Congratulations, you clods."

 

Pearl and Amethyst grin from ear to ear at that, satisfied.

 

“A  _pearl_ , even of your calibre, with a _quartz…_  Now that’s something!” Peridot giggles to herself. Pearl and Amethyst having gemlings. It's so wrong and inappropriate that it's funny, like a giant wad of spit on Homeworld's face. Here on Earth you really could get away with anything. "Pearls aren't supposed to have gemlings. You're not even supposed to have mates!  What would they say on Homeworld _?_ "  


 

The air grows tense, and the Crystal Gems' gazes grow frigid, suspiciously bearing into her. Even Lapis gives her friend a side-eye.

 

“Peridot—“

 

“Even in spite of your… _differences_ ,” Peridot continues, testing, pushing them all, “I’m certain gemlings spawned by the two of  _you_  would be high-ranking, upper-class citizens back on Homeworld. Fancy pearls assigned to only the best of gems, amethysts hand-picked for the armies…”

 

Pearl, Amethyst and Garnet grit their teeth. Amethyst’s fists ball at her sides, nails digging into her palms. Not  _this_  again. Hadn’t Peridot _changed?_  Just one — just one more comment, one more remark, and they’d all  _snap—_

 

“…but, we’re not  _ON_  Homeworld! We’re on  _Earth!_ ”

 

Peridot’s arms spread out wide as if she’s holding all the possibilities for what the gemlings could become in them. Her big smile earnest yet meek, revealing she wasn’t actually oblivious to their disapproving gazes this whole time. She takes in everyone’s expressions full-force and starts sweating, glancing at Lapis to try and find some support, praying she didn’t go too far and that they’re not about to beat her into an actual pulp.She finds no relief, and she can only swallow.

 

“So  _that_  means they can be anything!”

 

— balled fists are unclenched, puffed chests deflate in a collective exhale, and jaws unlock. Thank the stars that that’s what Peridot was going for.

 

“Anything…” Pearl repeats, looking up at the sky, the sun beginning to sink. She takes in the sight of planet Earth around her, the planet that she had fought and risked her life for. The sun set, the moon rose. Waves crashed and rolled, soft enough to merely lick at the shore or powerful enough to decimate homes, but always born of the same body of water. Seasons came and went, the fertile spring ground and all of its nourished flora dying in winter at the hands of the very planet that allowed it to give birth in the first place.  It was a place of change, that was for sure, a planet full of possibility. Here Pearl could be something — she could change, grow, roll like a wave, crash like a tsunami; and yet, she’d always be  _herself_  at her core.

 

_(Anything.)_

 

Would her children end up being shy, drizzling droplets of rain, or flooding downpours; clapping, rattling thunder? Naught but the endless trickle of a stream?

 

“Well,” Steven chimes in from atop Lapis’s shoulders, thinking back to a very special video that was made just for him. “I think they’re gonna be something…uh, jeez, what’s the word again? _Ex…extraor…”_

 

A hand tucks under his chin, the gears turning. Then the gears stop, but he’s ended up with a word that’s a bit more familiar, a bit more like him, a bit more reliable, one that works just as well.

 

“— _great._  I think they’re gonna be great, you guys!”

 

* * *

 

They all chitchat as evening turns to night, and the moon rises in the sky: a waning crescent.

 

It, too, can be anything.


	4. worth it

Her body wasn’t built for this.

 

Well, maybe it would have been, if she had been made right: big, tough, strong, not all runty and…wimpy.

 

It had been two months since they'd found out Amethyst was carrying geodes. The proof itself was becoming apparent at a remarkable pace. Had they any spark of a doubt that there were really, truly eggs inside of her, it had been stomped on, reduced to a minuscule pile of ash, and swept away by the wind: Amethyst’s belly was swollen and growing and readily beginning to stretch to accommodate the life now developing inside. Pearl seemed to be fascinated by the sight. Not in a sexual sense, necessarily, just that her gaze was drifting there more and more often, examining her, staring, taking every opportunity to snuggle up against her stomach rather than her chest.  Amethyst assumed it was just a mate thing. It made sense that the sight of her partner pregnant with their kids — the visual confirmation of Amethyst’s fertility — would pique Pearl’s interest and rile up her hormones a little, prompting her to check her out, size her up, and see how she looked so they could be assured everything was proceeding smoothly. 

 

They had still only been able to count four geodes when palpating Amethyst’s stomach. By now, any more would have made themselves known, so that was their definitive count. Compared to how many a gem _could_ carry, it was a low clutch rate. The thought had crossed both of their minds, and they knew that the other knew, but neither had found it necessary to bring up and discuss. For their situation, a smaller brood was perfect; plus, if there had been any more than that, Amethyst was positive she’d literally explode _._

 

Why? Because her whole damn world was those geodes, that was why. She’d been having good days and bad days and today was an awful day. She was oversensitive, emotionally and physically. Her whole form felt heavy, like she was made of lead. Her temperature was fluctuating constantly between a nice gradient of Satan’s fiery, blazing ballsack to Santa’s cold, shriveled dick after fucking a snowman over in the North Pole. Internally, Amethyst was flaming hot, needing to phase herself out of all her clothes besides her bra and shorts so she didn’t sweat to death, much like a fever. She was so much warmer than her environment, however, that she was still getting chills. Besides extremities like lava, gems weren’t particularly sensitive to temperature, but her body had apparently decided to override that little tidbit and give her hell. How sweet.  Then there was the cramping in her abdomen: a deep, sharp, stinging pain, as though something was contracting inside her, starting from her stomach and radiating all throughout her form in fist-clenching, teeth-gritting throbs. 

 

Pearl had been tending to her worriedly, the way any expecting mate would. The whole situation with Amethyst’s discharge was getting obnoxious and uncomfortable for her, so just the other night Pearl had come home with a box of pads. _Pads_. Pads. Thick, bulky pads, the kind that they used whilst in heat, except that now she had to wear them all the fucking time like she was some human on her rag or something.  Had they helped? Tremendously, as had Pearl’s explanation that the annoying stuff seeping out of her was excess fluid used for creating protective paddings around the geodes in her womb, and to serve as lubrication when she was ready to lay: meaning, the eggs were healthy and safe. 

 

Yes, it had helped…a lot. But Amethyst was grumpy and felt like complaining. Besides, it wasn’t really what was happening — like she cares that Pearl knows some weird stuff’s coming out of her cooch — but rather what it implied: that she wasn’t in control of her changing body, that she had to be taken care of by her mate and wasn’t able to play a more significant part.

 

Ugh.

 

Amethyst squeezed her eyes shut, dug her nails into her palms and groaned as another wave of pain gripped her abdomen. 

 

Pearl’s eyebrows furrowed in sympathy as she watched, and she pressed a hand to her partner’s forehead. “You’re really burning up, Amethyst…”

 

“No shit, Pearl,” Amethyst snapped, glaring at her. “What’d you _think_ I’d feel like? A purple ice cube?”

 

Pearl flinched like she’s been slapped, taking her hand back and averting her gaze apologetically.

 

“Sorry,” Amethyst said. The guilt flooded her instantly. She reached out to take Pearl’s hand again, and gave it a firm squeeze. “I’m sorry, P. Really. I didn’t mean it — it totally just…slipped out. It’s…ugh…hard to keep my cool when I feel like this. Thanks for everything. Seriously.”

 

“It’s alright,” Pearl said. “I understand. I wish I could do more for you…”

 

Amethyst hissed in pain again, nails digging into Pearl’s flesh and leaving jagged crescent indents. “What are they fucking DOING in there, Pearl—?! Using my cervix as a goddamned scratching post?!”

 

“Nothing,” Pearl assured her with furrowed eyebrows, her thumb rubbing small circles into the top of Amethyst's hand. “Besides growing.”

 

“Yeah?” Amethyst closed her eyes, taking deep breaths. “Lately I’ve been thinking that they can actually hear and see everything that’s going on out here, and they’ve been purposely doing this when they get pissed or disagree with something I do. Like… One of those movies where there’s a little dude piloting a person’s brain. But it's not my brain. And it's four little girls, not one dude.”

 

“That...is by far one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard, Amethyst.”

 

Amethyst frowned at her.

 

“Pain like this is a normal part of carrying geodes. It’s the walls of your uterus stretching to accommodate them, nothing more and nothing less.”

 

“Yeah, but…” Amethyst trailed off, staring down at her body in thought. “Why does it hurt this bad? Rose and even Vidalia never seemed to have it get this...I'unno...intense.”

 

Pearl opened her mouth to speak, closed it, and opened it once more a second later. It was a sore spot of Amethyst’s, but honesty was important. She had to be truthful, not sidestep it constantly.  She sighed. “Amethyst _…_ I know how much you don’t like to talk about it, and I’m sorry, but there’s simply no way to avoid telling you this. It’s because of your over-incubation.”

 

Amethyst's eyes widen and her brows lift.

 

“Since you’ve ended up with a smaller, shorter structure, pregnancy will be much tougher on your body. Clearly, it won’t be impossible _,_ but your form has to work harder to adjust, and your energy will drain faster as a result."

 

Amethyst was pissed. Beyond pissed. Not at Pearl, no, but at herself and this stupid — stupid body of hers. Why can’t she just be _normal?!_ " Ugh!” She flops back, wrenching her hand away from Pearl’s and dragging both down her face. “I can’t even carry geodes right, and all you gotta do for that is get knocked up!”

 

"Amethyst!" Pearl gasped. “You’re wrong. It’s — you’re — so much more than that. It takes perseverance, dedication, mental strength… You’re doing everything right. They’re inside you, aren’t they? You’re holding on, even though you’re in so much pain… You’re doing amazingly. Don’t talk about yourself that way. Please!"

 

They went silent for a minute, and then there was a sniffle. Amethyst wiped away a couple tears; Pearl helped out with her thumb.  _“This…”_ Amethyst gestured to herself, “…it…won’t hurt the gemlings, right?”

 

Pearl’s eyes widened, and Amethyst's stomach dropped.

 

“Shit."

 

“No! No, that’s not what I meant. It shouldn’t, no. It’s not as if you’re unhealthy, Amethyst. You’re still very robust, plenty of nutrients in you… Plus, their, ah, “sire” — myself, that is — I don’t see why _I_ would give them any issues, either. They’ll be perfectly healthy and happy. At the worst, which isn’t bad at all,  one of the gemlings or…all of them, though I doubt that…might hatch just a bit late.”

 

Panic struck Amethyst's heart. “You mean, like — hundreds of years late, like me?!”

 

“Oh, nonono. Definitely not. That’s much different, being incubated in a Kindergarten versus under a mere heat lamp. If any of them happen to hatch late — you know, they might end up looking quite a bit like yourself, in that case — it won’t be more than a few months overdue.”

 

“More of me,” Amethyst groans. _"Greaaat."_

 

“As if that’s a bad thing,” Pearl said, hand landing on Amethyst’s cheek, caressing the feverishly hot skin there. “You’ve never brought anything but happiness to my life.”

 

“If there’s a little amethyst in there that ends up lookin’ like me, I just...I don’t want her to go through what I’ve been through, and get all, y’know…insecure…start comparin' herself...”

 

“Everyone has their burden in life,” Pearl said, “and that’s yours.”

 

“Better stay just mine.”

 

“And if one of our gemlings ends up sharing that burden with you,” Pearl continued, “well, would that be so bad? You’ll have someone who truly understands.”

 

“...Ever heard of a pearl fuckin’ a quartz on Homeworld?”

 

Pearl laughed. “Yes. Sex is forbidden for pearls, but it certainly happened anyways, as long as you were careful."

 

“Were the other pearls there…did they end up with mates often? Or…”

 

“Pearls,” Pearl choked out, “aren’t supposed to have mates.”

 

_ (We're not supposed to have anything, actually.) _

 

“…For real?” Amethyst knew pearls were restricted sexually and all, but didn't know it extended that far.

 

“Yes.”  


 

“Doesn’t that get…y’know…I dunno, none of them ever got lonely or something?”  


 

“Of course they did,” Pearl said. “It's an intolerable and cruel policy, but we're forced to accept it. But pearls are rather emotional. It all comes out eventually." She remembered the 'temper tantrums', and began to sweat. The 'temper tantrums' happened when a pearl had taken it for too long and had a meltdown. It wasn't pretty. "When we're with each other. Yes, that's what we had. Each other."

 

Amethyst put a hand on Pearl's shoulder and rubbed.

 

“I know for certain that many had mates in secret. They felt love, just like we do, and craved freedom, growing tired of the restrictions and rules we were subject to… But I—“

 

“—was the only one gutsy enough to openly reject ‘em,” Amethyst finished.

 

Pearl said nothing more, sniffing and wiping her eyes with her arm. It wasn't entirely true. She was far from the only one, but she was the only one to take it so far that she was exiled and ended up on Earth. For that much, Pearl was glad. Her friends didn't have the same reputation to carry on their shoulders. They were rebels, but they were not the Renegade Pearl. They'd never have to take down wanted posters with their faces on them. Stars, Pearl hoped not. She was not religious, but at certain times over the past several thousand years, she had prayed to every god in the universe that Mars and Lopsy had not been interrogated for their connections to her, that they hadn't been tried for some kind of conspiracy or--

 

“You’re amazing, P. I know you’re worried you’re gonna pass something ‘wrong’ off to ‘em too. But—“

 

“How do you know that?”

 

“‘Cause I know you,” Amethyst said, meeting her gaze. “And I have for thousands of years. Can’t say I understand everything going on up there—“ she poked Pearl on the forehead, right on her gemstone, “—but I’ve got a pretty good grasp on a lot of it.”

 

They were testing each other. Pushing, prodding, seeing how far they can go, pressing on their bruises and marveling at how the pain feels so oddly satisfying. It's exhilarating, this ping-ponging game they've always shared since the moment they met, slinging comments one after another, each one an impaling dart, striking at a buried thought, a contained emotion. They open each other up, dig around, find what lies inside. It’s like playing with fire, seeing how long they can go tossing the lit matches back and forth before they get scorched.

 

It turns out that Pearl and Amethyst are quite the skilled pyromaniacs. 

 

“I,” Pearl said, “don’t want any of the little ones to feel how I used to: inferior, that I existed for somebody else. I don’t want her to follow, Amethyst, the way I did, like some lost little pearl — I want her to lead.”

 

“And if she doesn't know how to,” Amethyst said, poking the flames and making sparks fly, “if she had to share some of that pain with you, had to learn from momma—“

 

Pearl’s lip wobbled, eyes filling with moisture again.

 

“—wouldn’t be so bad, would it? You’ll have someone who really gets it.”

 

Pearl began to sob, burying her face into Amethyst’s chest.  'We’re a mess sometimes,” she said into her skin.

 

“Yeah," Amethyst laughed, kissing Pearl's forehead. "Everyone’s got their burden in life, guess this one’s ours. Two messed up fucking gems. At least we both have someone who really knows what it’s like, huh?”

 

Pearl's lips turned upwards into a smile.


	5. getting broody

If there’s a surefire way to piss Amethyst off, it’s to wake her up.  A good equivalent would be sticking one’s hand in a shark pit, except the‘shark’ is a little purple gem and she won’t bite, just whine and complain and act grumpy for the whole day.  It might seem surprising, then, when she’s  _not_  irritated that Pearl’s elbowed her in the face (every angle on that girl’s body is so damn sharp) and jostled her awake. She might have been, if it weren’t for what she’d woken up  _to_ : a sight that most people wouldn’t witness even once in their lifetimes.

 

The second coming of Christ? Close: Pearl’s  _snoring_ ** _._** She's actually  _snoring_.  Okay, okay, Pearl sleeping (let alone so nicely and peacefully) was a sight for sore eyes as it was; and sure, her soft, demure snores weren’t as rattling as Amethyst’s which sounded like a bear’s, but…

 

For a moment, Amethyst wishes she could record this astonishingly beautiful experience, but she quickly changes her mind. It's for her eyes only and something that’s going to be burned into her memory forever.  There  _is_  one aspect she’d rather forget, though, and that is the way Pearl’s clutching a pillow instead of her. Who does that pillow think she is? Trying to steal her girl, huh? Squinting in disapproval, Amethyst raises her arm and  _reaaache_ s over to—

 

A hand grabs her wrist.

 

“No.”

 

“Whhhh— _pfffbbbt—-_ “ Amethyst sputters in shock, not knowing Pearl had been up. “Good mooorning, Sunshine.” Her stomach cramps for a split second, like the growing gemlings are reminding her that they exist since she hasn’t thought about her pregnancy for .5 seconds. 

 

( _Oof_.  _Oh, yeah, ‘morning to you in there, too. Four months pregnant.)_  

 

“Didn’t, uh, know you were  _up_ , Pearly—“

 

Pearl yawns, her eyes still closed, and turns over so she’s facing Amethyst. “I haven’t been awake for very long.”

 

“Why  _are_  you up, anyhow? Looked like you were sleeping like a...I dunno...a baby? A human baby.”

 

“Because you’re so — … _clumsy_. Every time you make  _any_  movement, you shake the whole bed. I can’t stand it.”

 

“Oh, yeah? You don’t seem to mind when I shake the bed while we’re having—“

 

Pearl’s hand flies to Amethyst's mouth. Amethyst licks her palm.

 

“Don’t you dare give me that. That’s  _completely_  different, Amethyst. You know I enjoy getting a little tossed around during—“

 

“Heh, heh.” Amethyst smirks as Pearl retracts her hand. “Just messin’ with ya. So, you like snuggling a pillow  _more_  than  _me_  now, huh?”

 

Pearl grins sleepily, going along with the joke. “Oh, her? We’re just friends.”

 

“C’mere, you,” Amethyst laughs, lifting her from under her armpits and pulling her into her arms, giving a kiss to her cheek. Pearl stretches and yawns again, running a hand through her slightly disheveled, ruffled hair. Amethyst takes a moment to check out her appearance: a baggy, oversized tank top, and nothing on the bottom besides a pair of panties. Her nipples are hard, the shirt’s way too big for her, she’s sleepy and messy and exhausted from all the cleaning and working she’s been doing lately…

 

Amethyst adores it. It’s raw and honest and so delightfully… _human_. Back when she and Pearl used to argue and have spats on the regular, Amethyst would often take a shot at how uppity and perfect she always insisted on being, but the truth was that she just hadn’t been given a chance to see the hidden facets of her future mate, nor had she given Pearl the opportunity to be more open and trusting with her. Boy, was she glad she finally did.  Her hands make their way to Pearl’s back, rubbing gingerly, and Pearl nuzzles her face into her neck in response.

 

“You sleep okay? Not gonna lie, I was a little surprised to see it, but you’ve really been working your tail off lately. Dunno where all that energy came from, but jeez, cleaning the whole house and all that…”

 

“I did."

 

"No nightmares?"

 

"Not this time, thankfully. Admittedly, however, I'm finding it very hard to wake up. The grogginess that I'm so prone to...ah, just another reason I'm not fond of... _this._ "

 

“Oh yeah? Was G gonna go on a mission with you or anythin’ today?”

 

Pearl shakes her head.

 

“Then why don’t you just chill with me for the day, huh? Just me ’n you. Do a little smoochin’, maybe something else…”Amethyst presses a kiss against her neck and maps a path upwards until she can suck on a good spot near her ear.

 

_“Amethyst,”_  Pearl gasps.

 

“Yeah, that’s the stuff. …Hey, P, I know a pretty good way to wake up.”

 

“And what’s that?”

 

Amethyst’s grin stretches wider, and her hands smooth down her back to squeeze at her mate’s firm, perky ass, giving a playful pinch. “Oh, I think you know already."

 

She flips Pearl over onto her back, hands on her hips, and meets her lips a few times in generous kisses before moving to her sensitive neck again. Her mouth makes a seal and her tongue retracts, sucking, grazing her teeth and nibbling as Pearl arches and keens in pleasure. She slides her hands from Pearl’s torso to under her shirt instead, palming at her small breasts.

 

“That’s my girl,” she whispers, pecking her mate’s jaw, her chin. “Relax and enjoy, ‘kay? You deserve it.”

 

“Just get down there and  _lick_  me already, Amethyst,” Pearl demands, impatient. She’s been stressed and God, does she need some release.  


 

Amethyst bursts out laughing. “ _Whoa!_  Alright, alright,” she says with a grin, quickly making her way down a thin torso.

 

* * *

 

 Going along with Amethyst’s ideas could have disastrous outcomes. It could also have fantastic ones, Pearl had been discovering, especially as of late.

 

While they weren’t terribly far along into Amethyst’s pregnancy, they’d already had their fair share of emotionally intense discussions and Pearl — well, she  _really_  hadn’t been lying when she had mentioned ‘energy’ as an upcoming change of hers. She’d been perky and chirping all about, cleaning  _this_  and moving  _that_  and checking on Amethyst constantly to make sure there was nothing she needed or wanted. She'd end up returning home from a mission and then bouncing off in a second to cook something for Steven. The way she looked running all about like that, it was as if she was going off some powerful, high-tech plane engine or something. To Amethyst, it was charming, adorable, and captivating, yet stressful, even just to watch.

 

It was like she could just see the mile-long checklist that likely existed in her mate’s brain. That was why she had suggested they take a few days to themselves, to relax and hang out and do and talk about nice things. Pearl, being restless and thanks to her hormones, looked like she was  _itching_  to diligently sit and protect her pregnant mate from some mysterious, likely nonexistent, dangerous force instead of ‘chilling’ for the first few hours…but she’d quickly grown adjusted. She’d even dragged Amethyst off for a bath with her.  Much, much later in the night, however, considering how the bath was on the beach.

 

Pearl loved the water. She was a pearl, after all. That was what pearls liked. It was relaxing, and cleansing, and she didn’t mind the saltwater in her eyes or mouth in the slightest. Quite the opposite, in fact. It was healing. Her wounds dissipated instantly in saltwater.

 

“Are you going to just sit there and watch, or will you come join me?”

 

“I like watching you,” Amethyst purrs. “You’re such a cutie pie.”

 

Pearl, nude, bathed in moonlight, scoops up some water in her hands, splashing it over herself. “Must you always compare me to food?”  


 

Amethyst wags her eyebrows. “I just so happen to enjoy  _‘eating’_ , if ya’ know what I mean…"

 

Pearl scoffs. “I made that far too easy for you.”

 

“Sure did.”

 

“Come here.”

 

“You got it,” Amethyst says, stepping off the rock she’s sitting on and sinking into the water until she’s at Pearl’s side, clothes and all. Pearl grins and lifts her up, and Amethyst wraps her legs around Pearl's waist in response, leaning in to kiss her.

 

“You look really nice tonight,” Amethyst murmurs when they pull away, rubbing her nose against Pearl's cheek and resting her chin on her shoulder. She has a lazy, contented grin on her face. The water surprisingly warm, and it makes her feel dreamy. It’s true: Pearl looks beautiful, absolutely serene, the light of the moon reflecting onto her, outlining her sharp features. Their bodies stick together from the water. If it weren’t so late, nearly the early hours of the morning, she’d be worried that they’d get caught…

 

“You’re really quite the charmer today, aren’t you, what with your compliments and your… _’unconventional’_  manner of waking me up.”

 

“Pearl…” One hand removes itself from around Pearl’s neck and instead caresses her wet cheek. She can barely see the blush that’s there, but she can definitely feel the warmth accompanying it. “That’s  _nothing_ , babe. If you think today's been a lot, you should hear how often I actually think it.”

 

“...You’re sweet, Amethyst.”

 

Amethyst bops her on the nose but leans into her again for another kiss — several, it turns out, enjoying the feeling of their bodies pressed together and calmness and quietness that the nighttime has always brought them.

 

* * *

 

When Pearl carries her back to shore, she dries herself off properly, but Amethyst instead opts to shake herself dry like a wet dog, making Pearl scowl. They sprawl out on a couple towels together, gazing up at the thousands of the stars in the sky. Pearl has one arm draped over her own waist and the other stretched out above her; Amethyst has both behind her head.

 

Pearl moves a hand to rest on Amethyst's growing belly.

 

“You’re getting big, aren’t you.”

 

“Uh, P,” Amethyst responds, biting her lip, “I hate to break it to you, but I’ve kinda always been a little… _big._ ”

 

“Oh, please,” Pearl scoffs. “You know what I meant.”

 

“Yeah, I did," Amethyst chuckles. "You’re right. I’m fucking huge. And shit, I can't lie down anymore," she groans, moving up to sit instead.

 

Pearl grins at her. “Do you like it?”

 

“Huh?” It’s a bit of a strange question, Amethyst thinks. Of course she likes it... Maybe in the past she’d have shot something Pearl’s way about how she asks weird questions, but not anymore. Pearl wants to know, and it’s a genuine, earnest inquiry, and that’s all that matters to Amethyst, not how socially unconventional it might be. She loves her  _because_  of her uniqueness, not despite it.  “Yeah. Yeah, I do. I love it. It makes me feel super proud, knowing I made something and it’s growing inside of me, y’know? I dunno how to explain it, just… I’m  _so_  happy, Pearl.”

 

“…Do you think we’re going to be good parents, Amethyst?”  


 

“For sure, P. How about you?”

 

“I'm nervous," Pearl admits. "...Very nervous. I-incredibly nervous. But I wouldn’t be having children with you if I didn't think I couldn't do it right. You’re very enjoyable to be around, and...I'm  _very_  much in love with you, I hope you know. I couldn’t ask for a better partner. You’re fun-loving, and energetic, and friendly… Not to mention, you fill in so much of what I lack.”

 

_“Lack?”_  Amethyst quirks a brow, frowning. “You’re not really missing anything, if you ask me. Even if you are, well,” she pauses to peck Pearl’s cheek, “I don’t really care, ‘cause you’re everything I need.”

 

Pearl’s smile stretches until it can’t go any wider, and she sits up so she can give Amethyst a deep, loving kiss on the lips. She then rests her head on her shoulder and drapes an arm over her waist. Her smile, however, is lost a second later because she’s all dry and Amethyst, on the other hand…

 

“You’re still wet.”

 

“That’s what she said.”

 

“Who?”

 

Amethyst panics, realising Pearl isn’t familiar with the phrase. “It’s, uh,” she sputters, “just something a chick from a good movie also said. …So, anyways… You know, Steven’s been buggin’ me about giving the gemlings names ever since we told him.”

 

_ (Mars. Lopsy.) _

 

Pearl’s nose scrunches. “I don’t see what the  _big deal_  is. It might seem hard to distinguish, but frankly, back on Homeworld—“

 

“Not on Homeworld, P,” Amethyst interjects. “We’re on Earth.”

 

“ _And?_  It’s a human tradition, and we’re gems, not humans.”

 

_ (It's not just a human tradition, you silly liar. It just makes me too emotional, because I simply can't forget.) _

 

“Well, I wasn’t thinking of naming them gross human things. I was thinking more along the lines of, I dunno...what colour they turn out to be.”

 

“Amethyst is often used as a colour description. So is pearl, as in, pearly-white.”

 

“ _Urgh,_  Pearl! Why do you gotta be so damn  _difficult?!_ ”

 

“I am  _not_  being difficult, Amethyst! I’m simply telling you what’s on my mind, and I’m not going to lie to you just because you don’t like it.”

 

“Ughhh… Fine!”

 

“If you’re going to have a fit about it,” Pearl quips, “do it elsewhere.”

 

Amethyst moves half a foot away from her, crossing her arms and grumbling to herself.

 

“I said  _elsewhere_.”

 

Seven inches, now.

 

They last maybe two minutes like that before they turn to each other, sheer guilt in their features.

 

“I’m sorry,” Pearl sighs, opening her arms up for her. Amethyst quickly crawls into them.

 

“Yeah, same. …Man, I used to think it was sorta fun to fight with you, P, but it’s  _really_  not fun anymore.”

 

“I’ll think about it,” Pearl assures her. “The names, that is. It’s just…it’s..."

 

_ (I miss them. I miss them so much.) _

 

“I get’cha,” Amethyst says “Listen, babe, I’m not saying we  _have_  to, just to consider it. Just think about it, okay?”

 

“I will,” Pearl promises, nodding.

 

“Thanks.” Amethyst kisses her nose.

 

They return to taking in the sight of the sky above them, dotted with thousands of stars. The mild, gentle waves continuously roll and crash on the shore, licking at the sand and then washing away, serving as soothing and peaceful background noise. Pearl begins talking about constellations, reciting a list of their names and what they are. Amethyst, of course, can’t help but add in her own artistic touch.

 

“That one,” she begins, pointing, “looks like a pair of tits.”

 

Pearl squints. “...I don’t see that.” She focuses and un-focuses her vision a few times. “…Ah, no, I do now."

 

“Right? Big ones, too.”

 

They fall quiet again.

 

“Hey, Pearl. What do you think about when you look at the sky? I’m kinda curious.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well, y’know, it’s… Like, you ever start thinking about something in particular when you look up there? A lot of people seem to think about life or whatever since it’s so big and open and humans think space is really mysterious.”

 

“It doesn’t strike any particular philosophical nerve, but it does remind me of...Homeworld. And of all the galaxies I’ve visited, and how beautiful the planets look from there. Perhaps even my first time coming to Earth with Rose… How about you?”

 

“Makes me think of all the gems there must be out there,” Amethyst says. Pearl’s eyes widen. “And how out of aaall of them, I was lucky enough to end up with you.”

 

Pearl flushes so hard it feels like she has lava in her cheeks and she turns her head shyly, trying to hide her expression.

 

“Oh, Amethyst…” She sits up, grabs her mate's hand, gesturing for her to follow. “Let’s go inside.”

 

“Aw, why?”

 

“There’s no use in thinking about how beautiful the stars are,” Pearl whispers. “I’ve the loveliest one right next to me.”

 

* * *

  

 _“_ _Make a list,”_ Pearl had told Amethyst. _“Of everything you have to do, or enjoy doing.”_

 

“Aw-right,” Amethyst proudly says to herself. “First thing on the list… _make the list._ Check. You got this, Ame.” 

 

Yes, the number one bullet point on her list was literally just to _make_ it.

 

She chews the pen’s cap, reading over what she’s scribbled down on the paper in her messy handwriting. What now…? Man, this thing is seriously a lot tougher than Pearl made it out to be.  Oh! There’s a good idea: cross off stuff that she can’t do until the babies are out of her to narrow down the options available. Process of fornication or elimination or some crap like that. 

 

“Let’s see here… No beating up baddies, cannonballing into the ocean, cliff-diving, eating poison, running with scissors, touching stuff that says _‘Do Not Touch’_ , purposely falling down things, purposely running _into_ things, sledding when there's no snow, sledding when there is snow, mountain climbing, running on floors with Wet Floor signs — aw, man, I _love_ doing that… _”general tomfoolery”_ … Oh, yeah, Pearl’s the one who said I can’t do that last one! Who’s _Tom_ , anyways?”

 

...There goes the majority of her list. 

 

“Ughhh,” Amethyst groans, flopping onto her back. She’d flop onto her stomach instead for a bit of cushion against the hard floor, but it’s grown too big for that to be comfortable. Idly, she rubs her big, swollen belly. 

 

_ (Heh. Rounding out pretty fast.) _

 

What’s left? Sleep? Jack off? She’s so bad at this.

 

_ (Hmmm…) _

 

Amethyst sniffs the air around her. It’s nice, familiar, homey. Comforting. It feels safe. They did a good job with this place, didn’t they?  She likes this spot. Oh, yes, she _likes_ this spot a _lot_. Really. A lot, a lot, _a lot…_

 

A strange, unknown feeling begins to wash over her, prompting Amethyst to sit up. She’s never felt anything like this before, but it’s almost as if the location is pulling to her, beckoning to her, encouraging her to stay. Weird. It’s so urgent — why?  Maybe she could set up a fort or something. Ah, yeah! That sounds like fun, plus it kills time. One of her famous pillow forts. Famous for destroying the house, that is. 

 

Amethyst hops to her feet, saluting to herself. “Time to work, soldier!”

* * *

  

The warp pad sounds and there’s a flash of light. Pearl steps forward.

 

“Hello, Amethy— _whaaaoooh_ —wh— _wh_ — _wha_ —“

 

“Hey, wifey.”

 

_ “Amethyst—“ _

 

“Oh, this thing?” Amethyst leans against her _‘fort’_ , reading a junk magazine. It’s absolutely enormous. She’s brought a literal camping tent into the house (thanks, Greg), moved the table and the couch so it can fit, draped dozens of blankets over it and cluttered tons of pillows and towels and stuffed animals and random items she’s found from her room all around and inside of it. It’s an absolute mess in the best possible way and clearly her handiwork, but all that matters is that the jobs that it was meant to fulfill from the start have been completed: it’s cozy, sheltered, and good for gemlings.

 

“Ame—“

 

It’s a _nest_. Amethyst has made her — _their_ — nest in the _living room_. Pearl trembles, eyes wide, stammering.

 

“Do you like it?”

 

“A-Ame—“

 

“Felt like building a, uh…”

 

“A-a-a-ameth—“

 

“…a _pillow fort_ , yeah.”

 

_“AMETHYST-!!”_ Pearl shrieks. “You put our _NEST_ in the _LIVING ROOM?!_ ”

 

Amethyst flushes a deep, deep purple. Fuck. Pearl caught her. Amethyst _knew_ that was what this thing was from the beginning but refused to admit it to herself, as it wasn’t exactly in the most private or graceful of areas -- meaning Pearl would probably lose her shit. She throws her arms up in the air in guilt, trying to defend herself.

 

“I’m sorry, okay?! I didn’t have any choice! _Something_ just — _came over me!_ ” Amethyst braces herself for the next brutal comment, but grows confused when it doesn’t come. She opens her eyes, looking over at Pearl.

 

Pearl’s face is _twitching_ , like she’s fighting a conflict in her own mind. As a matter of fact, she is: she has so many questions, so many complaints, but at the same time she can feel her instincts taking over her, swamping her body and flooding her brain and screaming at her to go run over there and help her mate out and take care of her. Her fists clench tightly at her sides, sweat breaking out.  Though she expected Amethyst would pick a place like her room instead, the actual setup of what she’s made here is…well, perfect. She did a fantastic job — this was truly a maternal instinct — and from what Pearl can see, didn’t leave anything out: it’s covered, plenty of room, warm…

 

“…P?”

 

She can’t take it anymore. Her whole mind is _kids kids kids Amethyst Amethyst Amethyst **mate**._

 

“I— It’s absolutely _stupendous_ , Amethyst!” She darts forward in her excitement and need so quickly that she’s a blur, beginning to add her own personal touch, organising things and tidying up, adjusting parts so everything’s symmetrical. Amethyst, on the other hand, is stunned, gawking at her after the absolutely bizarre display.

 

She _‘gets’_ it after a second, though, dumbfounded expression changing to a smug, proud grin at what she’s made. Her arms fold over her chest.  “…Yeah, it’s not bad. Not bad at _all_.”

* * *

 

“Where is this tire from?”

 

“Oh, I just got that out of some random person’s trunk. Finders, keepers.”

 

“And this candle…”

 

“That one’s a gift from Vidalia. She says hi and congrats, by the way.”

 

There’s some more shuffling coming from inside, and then Pearl pokes her head out, all sweaty from the workout she got fixing this thing up. It was entirely normal for her energy to go way off the charts when her mate was full of her eggs, but this was like she had just guzzled three Red Bulls. “That should be good…for now.”

 

Pearl flops over, then, absolutely exhausted. Three _hours_ : that’s how long they’ve spent cleaning their new nest up and succumbing completely to their parental instincts. 

 

“Yeah,” Amethyst pants. “Agreed.”

 

They sit together, trying to regulate their heartbeats and catch their breath.

 

“…You did a good job, Amethyst.”

 

Amethyst looks up at that, scooting so she’s next to Pearl. “You think so? I’m sorry it’s not in the most, uh, secluded of places. Once I started it was like I just couldn’t freakin’ _stop_.”

 

“It’s alright,” Pearl assures, taking her hand. “It was just the shock of it all, really. I was thinking you’d opt for your room, but this is still _much_ better than _outside_ or the _grocery store_ or countless other places that you could have chosen to build a nest in. Besides, an expecting mother only uses a place that she trusts completely, making this a good sign. I’m _very_ happy that you find our home safe enough for this.”

 

Amethyst beams at her, enjoying the praise. She wiggles her way into Pearl's lap and grabs her face, pulling her into a kiss. Pearl tries to break it after a few seconds, but Amethyst leans in for another, and another, pushing her mate down on the floor and planting her lips down her cheek and neck. Her fingers worm up her sides, prompting ticklish giggles and a hand trying to shove her away.

 

“Pffft— _Amethyst_ — Not on the _floor_ —“

 

“Don’t care,” Amethyst laughs into her skin, dotting it with her lips until she’s had her fill and decides to give Pearl a break. She doesn’t let her up, though, just lifting herself up a tad by her hands and sliding up Pearl’s torso, hovering over her.

 

“I haven’t had a chance to talk to you normally all day,” Pearl breathes, grabbing her chubby cheeks. “How _are_ you?”

 

“Doin’ good,” Amethyst chirps.

 

“Anything… _new?_ ” 

 

Amethyst doesn’t need to ask to know what she’s referring to.

 

“Besides _this_ —“ she gestures to the nest, “—nah. Just getting bigger. And eating rocks. That's normal, right? How about you?”

 

“I’m doing great today.”

 

“You are looking pretty cheerful.”

 

“That’s because I am,” Pearl says, smiling brightly, leaning up to peck her on the lips again — until the door _opens_ , that is, and both of them quickly shuffle off of each other and into seated positions.

 

“WOAH! Nice _fort_ , Amethyst!” Steven exclaims. He’s followed by Connie and Garnet. 

 

Amethyst grins smugly at him, leaning back again.  “This here’s no fort, my man. This here’s me ’n’ Pearl’s _nest_. Y’know, ‘cause we’re expecting. So that means _you’re_ not allowed.”

 

_ “Whaaat?!” _

 

“You heard the rules," Garnet says. She makes her way over to Pearl and Amethyst and it’s then that they realise she’s holding a box.  “Nice job, you two. Here. I brought you a gift.”

 

She hands the package over; Pearl takes it. Amethyst by her side reads it with her.

 

A heat lamp. For incubation…

 

“Oh, Garnet,” Pearl murmurs, unable to stop the hand that flies to her heart. Garnet was such a blessing. “Thank you.”

 

“You’re the best, G,” Amethyst says, giving her a thumbs up. Garnet smiles at both of them, but the quiet team moment is ruined by Connie and Steven running over to check everything out.

 

“Wow! This looks _great_ , you two.”

 

“Thank you, Connie.”

 

“And _you_ look great _too_ , Amethyst! Are you guys _sure_ you don’t want my mom to help out with the delivery? She’s helped deliver _tons_ of babies.” 

 

Amethyst’s face scrunches up in disgust. Honestly, the thought of anyone besides Pearl or possibly Garnet if she’s needed helping with the whole thing just makes her want to gag. “Yeah, I’m...pretty sure. I think me and Pearl can handle that, but thanks.”

 

“So, are you guys going to be living here?” 

 

“We already do live here, Steven…”

 

“I think what he meant is in _this_ , Pierogi,” Amethyst says, pointing with her thumb at the structure next to them. “Well, Steve-o, we don’t really need to use it until the gemlings hatch, but we’re probably gonna hang around it a lot. I mean, it’s basically their crib until they can actually walk and do their own thing and stuff, but it’s not a… _gross_ crib.”

 

Pearl quirks an eyebrow. Amethyst has nearly always described anything dealing with human babies as _‘gross’_. It’s fascinating. So fascinating, in fact, that she's been keeping a mental list of each time.

 

“Oh! Well… I hope they’re not gonna be too loud when they get here, ‘cause my bed’s right upstairs and all.”

 

Pearl, Amethyst and Garnet all go dead silent, (visible) eyes widening considerably. Freshly-hatched gemlings chirp and squeak and make _constant_ noise for weeks when they first come to the world. Regardless of what the sounds they make are, they’re loud enough to keep any human nearby awake, that's for certain.

 

"Hm," Garnet thinks out loud. "...Perhaps you’d ought to spend the nights with your father or with Connie when the gemlings hatch until they settle down.”

 

"Aw, seriously?! Temporarily kicked out of my own house..."

 

"It's only for when you go to sleep, Steven," Connie assures him.

 

"Yeah, I know. But that doesn't sound as good of a movie script as the first one."

 

Everyone stares at him, confused. 

 

"...You'd be allowed to sleep in your own bed again after just a few weeks, Steven, and nothing would be different during the daytime. It's just..." Pearl trails off. "Gemlings are _remarkably_ loud during the very first stage of their life. Their development is much quicker and different than a human's, however, and they pick up speech incredibly fast. Unfortunately, loud squeals and this _peculiar_ type of chirping is the only manner of communication they have until then."

Amethyst huffs at all this disarray. The Crystal Gems are so used to needing to go to the extremes that they've forgotten how to be simple, all of them. All except for _one_.

 

"Uh, guys?"

 

"I'm certain _Greg_ won't--"

 

"Can't he just wear a pair of good earplugs or noise-cancelling headphones or something?"

 

Pearl and Garnet look at her and then to each other. They hadn't even considered that.

 

"That -- may actually _work_ , Amethyst..." Pearl's hand flies to the underside of her chin, deep in thought, as if this is the most complex solution she's heard of.

 

Steven, on the other hand:

 

_ "Amethyyyst, you're a genius!!" _


	6. equilibrium

“ _There_. That should be about right…though, keep in mind these are just educated estimates. Following these measurements, they’ll still likely end up just a bit snug or too loose depending on each of the gemlings’ individual proportions, but it should serve as an _excellent_ starting point.”

 

Pearl’s eyes glitter as she reviews the pages she’s been given. Written on them are the average proportions of amethyst gemlings, an estimate of pearl gemlings based on some math she and Peridot ahd put together, and sketched silhouettes so that she could start making clothes for the little ones to wear until they got a hold on their own desired forms. With Amethyst already several months into her pregnancy, one might assume that Pearl has adjusted to parenthood being her future reality — but she’s still finding that new emotions and excitement are striking her every day like Cupid’s arrows.

 

“Thank you, Peridot.”

 

“My pleasure.”

 

"You know a lot about this, don't you?" Pearl asks. "Were you around a lot of gemlings?"

 

"It's none of your business what I did on Homeworld, _Pearl_."

 

“Woaaah,” Amethyst’s voice sounds from behind Pearl. She had been relentlessly trying to make Lapis form a dick out of water for the past twenty minutes and had finally given up, it seems. “That’s so… _tiny_. They’re like little kittens.”

 

Pearl laughs gently. “They’ll grow big before you know it.”

 

“Sorry to kill the mood here, P, but I don’t think _that_ one—“ she points at the amethyst page — “is gonna _fit_. That big amethyst egg is an absolute _monster_. I mean, seriously, if I lift my shirt up you can see where she bulges out. She’s a big, big girl. An absolute warhorse of a gem, I tell ya.” Amethyst puffs her chest out and roars like some vicious dragon. “Just like her mom.”

 

There’s no response, just Peridot and Pearl staring blankly at her.

 

“...Jesus. Not even one laugh. You two could kill.”

 

“How about something like this?” Lapis asks. They turn to look at her: she’s formed an outfit out of water that just so happens to be an exact replica of what she’s wearing.

 

Amethyst squints. “That looks suspiciously like what you’ve got on, Lap.”

 

Lapis apparently sees nothing wrong with this, because she ignores Amethyst entirely while her gaze just flickers to Pearl and Peridot instead for their opinions.

 

“Amethyst isn't giving birth to _you_ , Lapis,” Peridot mumbles. Pearl has a hand under her chin and has begun circling around Lapis and the liquid structure, observing it.

 

“Hmmm… Well, it certainly _is_ cute… It’ll need to have a star, however. And I’m sure _Amethyst_ would much rather it have a combination of our clothing, colours included. It’s only temporary, but I would like for them to look nice.”

 

Lapis ceases her hydrokinesis and the water funnels back into the pond where it was taken from, dusting her hands off and walking forward so she’s next to Peridot. Amethyst turns to Pearl.

 

“You sure we can’t just buy them mini dog clothes?”

 

“They are not dogs, Amethyst.”

 

“Bahhh… Don’t overthink it…”

 

Peridot clears her throat. “Would you two _mind_ taking your little mated quarrel somewhere... _else?_ ”

 

Amethyst guffaws, loud and raspy. “Whaaat? Can’t handle the heat, Peridot?!”

 

Seemingly lost in thought, Pearl doesn't react at first. “Oh, that’s right! Lapis, Peridot, there was something Amethyst and I wanted to ask you.”

 

“…There was? News to me… _Oh!_ Oh, yeah! Yo, me ’n’ P wanted to know if you two wanted to babysit for us when G’s too busy for it.” Her grin stretches so wide it nearly touches her ears, her hands flying proudly to her hips.

 

_“Baby…sitting?”_ Peridot echoes, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

 

“Uhhh… _Gem_ -sitting?” Amethyst’s voice cracks as she hits a higher pitch while trailing off, unsure how to explain. “It’s basically, like, when you watch someone’s kids for them for a couple hours while they’re at work or need some time off or whatever."

 

"...Like a Homeworld nursery?"

 

"Yes," Pearl says.

 

"I've never been in a nursery before," Peridot says. "What makes you think I know what I'm doing?"

 

"You...haven't?" Pearl asks, raising one of her brows. That was odd. Nurseries were something of a must-see on Homeworld. Even Pearl and all of her friends had visited them many times, despite the fact that mothers didn't exactly appreciate pearls being around their children. They were cute and playful and delightful to look at, with gemlings bounding about eagerly and exploring their little world, no matter how confined, as their parents were off at work. 

 

“Uh," Amethyst says. "Well, um...once I push these suckers out, I’m getting back into the usual swing, so _someone’s_ gotta make sure they don’t wander off and set stuff on fire or cause an apocalypse while I’m out doing missions with the crew.”

 

Pearl says nothing, but gives a hopeful, genuine smile at the other pair. She meshes her hands together and brings them up to her chest, wringing her fingers in the nervous anticipation. Peridot frowns in response. She might care for them a lot, but clearly isn’t fond of the idea of having to hold any responsibility over Pearl and Amethyst’s squirming, chirping, scheming, bratty little spawn. She’s well aware of just how evil those kitten-sized worms can be. Too aware.

 

“Unfortunately, I’m—“

 

Lapis cuts her off, louder, bolder. “We’ll do it.”

 

Peridot gasps. _“Lapis!”_

 

“Oh!” Pearl squeals in excitement, fluttering her hands in delight and bouncing up and down on her toes. Amethyst beams at her.  “Thank you _so_ much, you two! This is _fantastic_ news. We’ll be sure to get something nice to give you in return as thanks.”

 

“Wa— _Hold on! Lapis!”_

 

The others chat away with each other, Peridot’s words not reaching their ears.

 

“You guys! _Anyone?!_ I didn’t agree to this!"

 

* * *

 

“Can you take a break from that stuff already, babe? You’ve been working on it for...let me do the math... _all day._ ”

 

Pearl rolls her eyes. “I highly doubt whatever equation you used to produce that response is a legitimate and recognised facet of math. Regardless...responsibility, Amethyst.”

 

Amethyst tosses a couple more rocks into her mouth and chews them with a gnarly crunch. It hits the sspot. She props her feet up on the arm of the chair and folds her arms up behind her head. “I think it’s pretty responsible for me to save you from losing your mind over which pair of clothes look cutest on our unborn children.”

 

Pearl grumbles. If she didn't get the clothes done today, she would get them done tomorrow. What was the big deal?  “Why do we always have to spend time together in your room?”

 

“‘Cause your room doesn’t got a bed or a couch, P. Or a TV. It’s just water. Like, the floor is _literally_ water, Pearl.”  


 

“Fair enough,” Pearl sighs. Suddenly, there’s a gleam in her eye. “Ahhh, you know, I did always want to have a _seashell bed…_ ”

 

“Oh, that’s a cool idea!” Amethyst’s face lights up, but her mind goes to the gutter instantly and she gives a sultry, flirtatious look to her mate over by her little station on the floor. “ _Huh-huh._ I would totally eat _your_ clam while you’re lying down…in _that_ clam.”

 

“Amethyst, please!” Pearl cries, face burning up with blush, grabbing a couch cushion and throwing it at her. Amethyst tries to deflect the hit but fails, laughing wildly at her own crude joke.

 

“C’mon, P,” Amethyst prompts, opening up her arms in invitation. Pearl bites her lip, working hard to not fall prey to that soft, welcoming embrace that she’s grown so familiar with. “Come snuggle.”

 

“Give me a good reason as to why it can’t wait.”

 

“Uhhh…” She looks away in thought before having a lightbulb moment. “Hey, do you hear that? I think the gemlings are trying to tell us something.” She pats her bare stomach, wearing only her bra and shorts. Her mouth opens again, but the voice that comes out this time isn’t her own but light, squeaky and innocent, like a female child’s. 

 

_“We’re saaad ‘cause Mama Peawl won’t come cuddleee,”_ she croons, wagging her eyebrows. _“Wahhh! We wuuuv youuu.”_

 

A fresh flood of hormones swamps Pearl’s form, earning a full-body shudder. Sparks fly down her spine and the maternal instinct grows so strong that she has to literally bite her tongue so she doesn’t sing out a chiming _“I’m heeereee!”_ to her children that are still in the womb as she flies into Amethyst’s arms. Their hug is like a vice grip.

 

“Haha,” Amethyst rasps under her breath. “That was _too_ easy.”

 

Pearl glares, but doesn’t try to escape. She doesn’t want to.

 

“You cheated. You know how that talk has been getting to me lately...”

 

Her mate smirks, impossibly smug. “Are you gonna be like, one of those mothers who start making milk and soak their shirts when they hear a baby cry?”

 

“Turn the television on, Amethyst.”

 

“Roger,” Amethyst affirms. She flicks the TV on with the remote and the first thing that pops up on the screen is a nature documentary complete with two deer mating out in the wilderness.  “Woah! Check that out.”

 

Pearl is completely unfazed. “What about it?”

 

“They can show this shit on TV ‘cause it’s _educational_.” She rolls her eyes. “Oh yeah, I’m learning _so_ much. _Sooo_ fascinating. Maybe if every human teen watched two deer gettin’ it on in the woods, they’d finally start wrapping before tapping.”

 

“Well, it _is_ educational, but with regards to the behavioural patterns of deer. I certainly hope nobody’s watching this to learn about safe sexual activity…”

 

“Ya never know, Pierogi. Know what it reminds _me_ of? Us a few months ago when we were baby-makin’.” She nods to herself, shooting a coy, cat-like grin. “They've got the same position and everything, but way less moaning."

 

Pearl gasps, face inflamed, heat spreading from her cheeks to her nose to her neck. **_“Amethyst!”_ ** she squawks. “We are _not_ animals!”

 

“Yeah, but we sure act l—“

 

“Oh, just _change_ the _channel_ already!” Amethyst holds the remote far above her head, laughing hysterically as Pearl flails her limbs wildly in her attempts to grab it. Pearl succeeds eventually, snatching her prize with a triumphant smirk as she flicks the channel to the news instead, giving Amethyst a playful love tap to her shoulder. She  snuggles up against Amethyst, tucking her head under her chin and resting her cheek against her warm, plush skin. In response, Amethyst presses her lips against Pearl's temple, holding her around the waist. Pearl can feel her mate’s fattening, swollen stomach cushioning against her own, and the surge of giddy excitement courses through her veins once more.

 

“Damn.” Amethyst mutters. “Murder and murder and more _muuurdeeer_. Man! I swear that’s all that you can see on the human news.”

 

“It’s not all so bad,” Pearl says, solemn yet confident. “If it was, we wouldn’t be protecting humans and their planet in the first place. Rose never would have even bothered.”

 

“Yeah, I get that. I’m not saying I regret joining you guys at all. I mean, you ’n’ G have been my best friends for thousands of years. I love the heck out of you two, and little Steve-o, too… I don’t know what I’d be doing if you hadn’t found me back when we were shrimps and taken me to Rose, Pearl.” Her arms squeeze a little tighter, shoulders sagging as she sighs, struggling to translate her emotions into words. “It’s just… I dunno, you ever see all this crap humans do to each other and get a little… _disappointed?_ ”

 

Now that’s something Pearl hadn’t expected to hear come out of Amethyst’s mouth. She was sensitive and emotional and felt things deeply, but had a tendency to bottle up just how much the environment can get to her — until it overflows and violently bursts her open, that is. At least she was sharing her feelings now instead of letting it overwhelm her. Amethyst was growing so much, wasn't she?

 

“I…” Pearl pauses, wanting to provide comfort and relate somehow but not wanting to lie, either. “Well, I suppose sometimes. The manner in which they treat the nature that I worked so hard to prevent from being annihilated certainly doesn’t please me, and Rose… You remember how she wept for hours on end when they fought, don't you? I’ve never once doubted my place here, but while I can stop _gems_ from bringing harm to humans, surely you understand how difficult it is to prevent them from destroying _themselves_.”

 

How? How can someone who sees things in such a black and white manner simultaneously acknowledge all the innate complexities of the matters that she’s rigidly analysing? Amethyst understands her so well, yet at times like these she still hits that mental brick wall trying to _‘get’_ her. She wishes that she could worm her way into Pearl’s skin and get into her brain and be her, become her, think like her and feel like her for just a split second, know what it’s _like._

 

“You’re not worried at all about the gemlings growing up here?”

 

Pearl sits up, wide-eyed. “Is _that_ what this is about? Not in the _slightest_ , Amethyst. I couldn’t have chosen a better planet. It’s important that you don’t let those who do bad cloud your vision of how lovely Earth is. They exist simply to provide a way for good to exist, as well. It’s an equilibrium of sorts.”

 

Amethyst stares off into the distance, not wanting to meet her mate’s big, blue, doe-eyed gaze.  “…Yeah. I know.” She exhales, chest deflating. “…I _love_ Earth, P. I was _made_ here…it’s my home. And I love humans, too. But boy, can they do some evil stuff.”

 

“So can gems.”

 

Amethyst’s eyes narrow. Pearl recognises that look instantly. It’s an expression reserved for only one topic, after all.

 

“Drop it,” she orders sternly. “That’s not what I was referring to.”

 

“But Kindergartens _are_ bad. That’s just the truth, Pearl.”

 

“Yes, they are. But I was talking about the war. Give it a rest.”

 

Amethyst crosses her arms and fixes her gaze to the right of her room instead, puffing strands of hair out of her face. " …Can I ask you a question? I…thought of it last night.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“If you could go back in time and stop the Kindergartens from being made, would you?”

 

Pearl feels all of her blood run cold, heart dropping into her stomach in shock. What kind of question is that? Choosing between her teammate and lover and the health of the planet that she’s sworn to protect? She _glares._

 

“I— I’m not wasting my time debating hypotheticals like that, _Amethyst_.”

 

“Oh yeah? You sure seem to waste days on end debating them when you get nervous about something. What’s wrong _now?_ ”

 

If it were a joke, a tease, perhaps Pearl would have laughed. This time, though, there’s nothing even remotely hinting at humour in her mate’s voice.  “Why? Why do you want to know that? Is it because you want me to say _‘yes’_ so you can use it to punish yourself like you think you deserve?”

 

Amethyst feels like she’s been punched in the gut; even her voice comes out hoarser than usual. “Ju—just _curious_.”

 

“I doubt that.”

 

“ _Answer_ it."

 

“No.”

 

Amethyst clenches her fist and grits her teeth. “ _Answer_ it, I said.”

 

“ _No_ , I meant, in response to your _question_.”

 

“Answer it _honestly_ , damn it!”

 

“I’m telling you the truth!” Pearl hisses back at her.

 

“Ugh! You’re just saying that because you _love_ me. Like some lovestruck teen on their first date… Gonna ask me to prom next?”  


 

Pearl hates seeing her like this. She truly does. But she loves Amethyst, every part of her, even the bits that make her think she’s a defect. Even this.  “It’s so much more than that, Amethyst. _You’re_ so much more than this. Don’t you understand? The Kindergartens were disastrous…they were an enormous blow to the Earth. But they’re done and over with now, and I can’t do anything about what’s already happened. This planet is hardier than that. It survived. What could have ended in its decimation, however, is if we didn’t end up with _you_. I don’t… I wish you could know how vital you are to our team. So much of what we’ve been through, we wouldn’t have survived without _you_ there to help us. We _need_ you, Amethyst. Garnet and Steven and _I_ need you. You were made for the sole purpose of fighting, but you defied that and ended up as the most loving gem I've ever met. Aren’t you _proud_ of that?”

 

Amethyst’s hardly thinking at this point. She’s so overwhelmed.  “You’re _selfish_ ,” she blurts out, pulling her hair, her eyes filled with moisture. Her whole form is gripped by raw, intense emotions of all sorts that make her want to scream. “You care more about the Crystal Gems than the Earth.”

 

Selfish. The word burns into Pearl like she’s been branded. 

 

From the moment they’re formed, pearls aren’t given anything except orders. Can’t she be allowed to enjoy one of the few gifts she’s ever been granted in the form of Amethyst without having to think about losing it?

 

“If that makes me selfish—“

 

She _wants_ her. She wants Amethyst. She wants to hug her and squeeze her and kiss her when the world’s too much for her, wants to be there for her when she has nobody else, wants to love her and adore her and learn everything there is to know about her, wants to find herself in her loving embrace when it hurts, wants to raise their children with her, wants to fill in her gaps, wants to laugh and cry with her and have bad days and good days and amazing days, wants to stuff as many fingers as she can inside of her heat and pump away until Amethyst’s walls grip her and don't let go and she chokes out a raspy  _“Peaaarl—“_ and Pearl watches her eyes roll back in impossible pleasure as she’s overtaken by the wet rush of her earth-shattering orgasm. She wants to be Amethyst’s and wants Amethyst to be hers.

 

“then I’m the greediest gem in the universe.”

 

_Nobody wants me,_ Amethyst silently screams.

 

_I do,_ Pearl shouts back.

 

“Fuck,” Amethyst gasps, bursting into tears, trying to wipe them away as she sniffles. “Fuck, Pearl. I’m sorry — I’m really, _really_ sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that or brought it up. I’m sorry…I didn’t mean it. I don’t know what I was _thinking_ and — I made you _feel_ bad and — I don’t think you’re selfish, I swear, I _don’t_ , I love you _so_ much… Please please _please_ don’t be mad, Pearl—“

 

“Amethyst,” Pearl says quietly, the hints of a small smile teasing at her lips. “Amethyst… It’s alright. I’m not mad.”

 

Her hand lifts to rest on Amethyst's cheek. Amethyst manages to make eye contact with her, covering her hand with her own, saying nothing.

 

“Why?” Pearl asks, gingerly wiping away the tears that she can reach. “Why do you do this to yourself…”

 

“I know,” Amethyst shakily breathes. “It’s dumb, I know. I should be _over_ it already. I just can’t stop _thinking_ about how much I sapped from the Earth to be made. I feel so guilty and I…”

 

Pearl is truly touched by the sheer purity and goodwill that fills Amethyst’s heart.  "Oh, honey," she murmurs, leaning forward to press their lips together, tasting the salt of Amethyst's tears on her mouth, “you’ve given so much more to this world than you’ve taken from it.”

 

Amethyst is sated at last by her kiss, and though she still pouts, they’ve wiped most of her tears away together and her chest has stopped spasming. It takes a while, but when she can finally breathe, she speaks.  “...I’m gonna work a lot harder on this, okay, Pearl? I’m…I'll be a lot better by the time the gemlings are born. I swear. For you and for them. It just — it takes time…”

 

“And I’ll be here with you for as long as you need."

 

Amethyst’s eyes glimmer with an innocent hope, with a vulnerability that few had and would ever see.  “Promise?”

 

Pearl’s face couldn’t be any more honest.  After all, she’s lost far too much already to let something as special and important to her as her mate and the one carrying their children slip out of her grasp.

 

“I promise.”

 

She grabs the remote and switches the channel.


	7. two to tango

"Gemlings, huh," Lapis says.

  


"What about them?"

  


"This is all kind of weird, isn’t it?” Lapis leans back against the hay bales, staring up at the sky while Peridot tinkers with a bunch of interesting metal scraps she picked up from somewhere. “Amethyst and Pearl having kids.”

 

“Whatever,” Peridot says. “You offered to ‘gemsit’ for them, so clearly you’re excited.”

 

“I thought it’d be something fun to do in our free time,” Lapis says. “…Which is most of our time.”

 

Peridot says nothing, intensely fixated on the screw she was furiously twisting out.

 

“…You’re not mad at me, right?”

 

Peridot snorts and lifts her head. “Mad? Of _course_ not! I’m not kind of emotional sap, Lazuli. But I don’t do well with gemlings.”

 

“Right.”

 

Peridot frees the screw, and it goes flying. “I don’t get why you all want me to coddle them or something. I’d rather just observe them.”

 

“That’s kind of weird. It’s not like they’re a science project.”

 

“Aren’t they?” Peridot smirks, thinking back to the lab. “They’re the result of a very scientific process. They do just fine without being pampered and treated like they’re special.”

 

“I know your teeth are sharp, Peridot,” Lapis blurts out. Nobody else had put two and two together yet. They’d likely grown used to the feature and it simply didn’t consciously occur to them. But Lapis took a great interest.

 

Peridot’s heart stops. “That — doesn’t always mean what you’re thinking it means! A lot of peridots have sharp teeth! It’s a naturally occurring trait in us!”

 

 _Defensive,_ Lapis thinks.  “You can trust me.”

 

Peridot’s hands shake and her screwdriver falls with a clang. “Just _drop_ it, Lazuli.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Being pregnant fucking sucks.”

 

Pearl tosses her head back and laughs. She can’t even get mad. “How eloquent.”

 

“Seriously,” Amethyst whines, opening her bottle of mineral supplements. She dumps half the contents in her mouth, chews, and swallows, then reaches into a bag of rocks and grabs a handful to wash it down.

 

“Maybe slow down a bit with those, dear,” Pearl says concernedly. “I know you need the nutrients, but you’ve already had three bags.”

 

“It sucks,” Amethyst repeats, her hand cradling her stomach. “I’m nauseous, my body hurts, I have a fever all the time, we can’t have sex—“

 

“We _do_ have sex.”

 

Amethyst huffs. “Yeah, in like two positions and really awkwardly because I’m too goddamn fat to do anything else!”

 

“You’re pregnant!” Pearl cries. “Do you think I’m expecting you to be an athlete?! Give yourself a break already!”  Amethyst’s eyes well up with tears, and Pearl gasps, a whip of guilt lashing at her heart. “I’m sorry, Amethyst,” she whispers, thumbing her tears away. “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

 

Amethyst swats at her hand, folding her arms defensively and looking away. “Nothing to do with you, Pearl,” she sniffs. “Just my own damn fault. I just wanna be a good amethyst. I just wanna be big and strong and…there’s amethysts out there carrying ten kids and I c-c-can’t even handle fucking four…! _I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL!_ ” she screams, her face falling into her hands.

 

“Oh, goodness…”

 

“S-shut up! I’m weak! I’m pathetic!” 

 

“And definitely pregnant,” Pearl teases. She sees the smile tease at Amethyst’s lips, but it doesn’t bloom. She thinks about Rose’s pregnancy, Greg’s child in her stomach and a pit of jealousy in Pearl’s. She thinks about the many pregnant amethysts she’s seen —Homeworld’s bunnies — bounding about like shining beacons, eight geodes resting in their wombs. And she thinks about how never once has she felt the need to compare them to Amethyst, because Amethyst was not lesser, but just a bit different.

 

She pulls Amethyst into a deep hug, and Amethyst can’t resist it, opting to press her face into Pearl’s shoulder and weep against her, soaking her shirt. 

 

“Please stop comparing yourself to others, Amethyst,” Pearl says into her hair. “I’m not concerned with how easily any other gems carried their children."

 

“Really?” Amethyst sniffs. She wipes her face with her arm. “Like, I’m good, right? Good enough for you?”

 

“You are,” Pearl says, “and you always have been.”

 

Amethyst buries her face in Pearl’s chest, and her mind rings with Jasper’s mocking laughter. _Stupid runt,_ she’d say. _Pathetic. Crying to your skinny bitch of a mate._

 

* * *

 

“There we go…”

At last, Pearl holds up a successful set of clothes that she’s made for the gemlings. They’ve settled on a paler blue version of Pearl’s top, wonderfully oversized sash and yellow star included, complete with Amethyst's black leggings. Amethyst insisted Pearl tear them up a little. So she did. She'll show her when she wakes up.  It looks...admittedly, fantastic. It’s spunky — full of personality, and of course, the parents behind it are clear as day. They might not know the gemlings’ personalities, but it's an outfit that seems like it has something for everyone.

 

“That looks great, Pearl!”

Her chest puffs with pride, though in speech, she's humble. “You really think so, Steven?”

“I can’t believe how tiny they are,” he gushes, clapping his hands to his cheeks.

Pearl grins. “They’ll be a handful no matter how small.”

“Are you gonna tell them all about mom and the war and Homeworld and stuff?”

Pearl freezes, and she swears her heart stops beating. War. War. Is she really going to tell her children about the war? Brutality and death and destruction. It had been done in the name of good, but the profound impact it had stamped and left on her being was something she struggled with every day. It belonged in the damn past. Her gemlings didn’t need to know what Homeworld had done.

"I," she begins, “…I don’t know, Steven.”

 

Steven’s expression drops. “Aren’t you proud of winning?”

 

“I’m proud of saving the Earth, but not proud of some of the things I had to do to get there,” Pearl says, anxiety rising in her chest. She held the memories down like bile, holding a mental pillow to them until they stopped kicking. “There’s nothing good about war, okay? Let’s forget about it.”

 

“But—“

 

“I don’t want to talk about it, Steven!” she snaps. “Please.”

 

Steven looks at Pearl’s face, and the ghastly desperation that he sees there frightens him. At the same time, it ignites a fiery curiosity, questions that beg obsessively to be asked but might be better left unsaid. What has Pearl seen? What has she done?

 

“Okay.”

 

* * *

 

 

“You thought ‘bout naming the kids at all?”

“I have, as a matter of fact.”

“Any conclusion yet? ’S fine if not.”

"Yes,” Pearl says. “We’ll name them. Each their own name, that is.”

“Wow!” Despite how tired she is, Amethyst’s face still lights up instantly. Pearl really thought about it, huh? “Not gonna lie, didn’t expect to hear that.”

“There’s one condition,” Pearl continues.  


“And that's…”

“We wait,” she proposes with a confident nod. “Until they hatch. Then when we have a good look at them, I’m sure the names will come to us naturally.”

“Deal!” Amethyst cheers excitedly. “Steven’s gonna be so hyped, Pearl.”

Pearl looks over her sprawled out mate. Her bloated stomach has gotten to the point where certain resting positions have become essentially inaccessible, or at the very least, far too uncomfortable. It sure could be a challenge trying to maneuver her in just the right way, but Pearl was dedicated. “How are they doing?”

“What, the babies?” Amethyst yawns, patting her mouth and turning over onto her other side so she can face Pearl. She’s begun to wake up, but not entirely — she's merely using up the last final burst of energy that her body can churn out before succumbing to the fatigue. “Great. Fantastically. Just, you know, hangin’ around, heh, throwin’ a party… Another one is getting pretty big.”

“Another amethyst, then,” Pearl says decidedly. “Oh, I hope there’s a little pearl in there…” Her voice begins quivering in maternal excitement. She couldn’t hide it even if she tried.

“You’re not the only one, P,” Amethyst assures her. “I’m dyin’ over here, and those little rascals are still cooking in the oven. I dunno what it is, but all I wanna see is you holding a bunch of baby gems and nothing else forever and ever.”

Pearl can’t help but laugh at that, cheerful and bouncy and sweet, and Amethyst swears their gemlings are going to love that laugh with all their might. “It’s normal, Amethyst. It’s just your instincts — the very thing that drove you to build what we’re sitting outside of.”

“So basically, a bad, baaad case o’ baby fever.”

“That’s not a real condition.”

“Sure is, Pearly. Got two patients right in here.”

Pearl’s smile fills with mirth so warm Amethyst can feel it radiating all the way down in the basket of her lap.

“I’m surprised you can even stand the nest. It’s basically just a bunch of junk and soft, pillowy stuff crammed together.”

“Admittedly, it wasn’t easy at first,” Pearl purrs. “But if it’s for the wellbeing of my own children, then this is one mess that I can tolerate. I did do some tidying up, as you know, and I’ve been continuing to do so, but not to my usual extent. Gemlings like it…disorderly. It’s much more interesting for them to explore.” Pearl’s thumb taps at Amethyst's blunt, button nose, earning a squint.

“Well, if not fucking with the nest is causing you some pent-up rage or whatever, I can tell you’re taking it out on the rest of the temple. I mean, seriously, this place is friggin' sparkling. I’m actually kinda scared to take a step sometimes just in case you burst into hysterics over a smudge,” she snorts.

Pearl blushes, hot cerulean painting her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. Her gaze flicks away in embarrassment. “I can’t help it! I have so much energy and I don’t know what to do with it. I told you I’d be changing, just as you are.”

Amethyst pats her in understanding. “Shhh. Not judgin’. You do you, P. And do me.” She wiggles her brows flirtatiously. “But not right now.”

Pearl stares at her.  

 

* * *

  

“I thought gemlings didn’t _need_ milk.”

 

“They don’t,” Pearl affirms, before continuing with the question that’s on both of their minds. “So then why…”

 

Amethyst’s heart sinks into her stomach at the change of tone in Pearl’s voice while she examines her bare breasts. When she’s unsure about something to do with her changing body, Pearl is the voice of reason that Amethyst turns to for a calm explanation and a reassuring kiss on the forehead — so it _really_ doesn’t help when Pearl is just as confused as she is.  Needless to say, it was yet another reminder that so much of what they were unsure about wasn’t a matter of plain old common sense or textbook answers, but rather experiences that they would have to go through and figure out together along the way. If anything, Amethyst does appreciate the fact that some of her scares have given her a newfound understanding of how and why uncertainty — especially over ‘silly’ things — makes Pearl so anxious.

 

She groans as Pearl kneads a tender spot. Her breasts have been killing her lately, all sore and swollen, and the nipples are raw with puffy areolae. Pearl’s taken to massaging them with Amethyst in her lap, gently kneading and rolling and squeezing just to make sure nothing feels abnormal.  As far as Amethyst is concerned, _everything_ is abnormal.

 

“You’re fine,” Pearl concludes with confidence a moment later. “You’re just overproducing oestrogen, and your body wants to make sure you’ll be prepared. It all has to go somewhere — in this case, your breasts.”

 

“Yeah, okay. So it’s gonna go away eventually?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“‘Kay. Well, I’m not _really_ complaining if it means we get to feel each other up.” She lifts her hands to Pearl’s smaller chest, giving it a playful squeeze. **_“_** _Honk honk!”_

 

Pearl returns to Amethyst’s breasts to their snug yet breathable confinement within her bra and tugging her shirt back down, swatting her hands away. Amethyst snickers at the warmth on her partner’s face — until she meets Pearl’s eyes, that is, and makes note of the adoring, shimmering look she has plastered on.

 

“What’s with the bedroom eyes?” Her voice comes out as a stammer, truly unbefitting of her chill persona. 

 

“You’re such a _big_ girl,” Pearl coos. “You’re so beautiful, I can’t keep my eyes off of you. Especially when you’re pregnant…”

 

“Pretty hard to feel beautiful when I’m looking like… _this_.” She gestures to her everything, all pregnant and fat and mostly unlike herself. 

 

“Oh, please, Amethyst,” Pearl sighs, cupping Amethyst's chubby cheeks, leaning in to kiss her forehead. “I love you, even when you’re like this. You’re soft, and round and sweet, and I love your smile, and your laugh and how squishy—“

 

“Um, okay, but _you_ , on the other hand, are pretty, and super smart, and dedicated—“

 

“Amethyst,” Pearl repeats. “Please don’t cut me off just because you don’t want to admit you’re insecure.”

 

Amethyst grumbles so loud it could probably be heard on Homeworld. “Fine. Not my fault you’re so embarrassing sometimes.”

 

Pearl smiles. “I wish you could love yourself even half as much as I love you.”

 

“Yeah. I could say the same about you.”

 

"I know you're worried about laying," Pearl says.

 

"I'm worried about a lot of shit. This whole thing isn't fun."

 

"Tell me more, then."

 

"It’s like… It’s kinda hard to explain, but, I feel like I don’t have control anymore. Usually that’s your prob, but when it’s my changing body and life — jeez, it’s like I can’t get a break!” She waves her arms around, sitting up next to Pearl. “It feels like everyone’s demanding something from me or my body. Super simple stuff is getting tiring to do when I’m lugging around all this damn baby fat, and I’m never gonna understand how babies so small can drain so much from me, you know? Bah… I wanna exercise. Can’t believe I’m saying this, but...I’m actually getting sick of getting to sleep all the time.”

 

Pearl puts a hand on Amethyst’s back, rubbing and massaging in circles with a concerned look on her face. “I don’t mean to be rude, Amethyst,” Pearl begins, delicate, “but isn’t this what you expected?”

 

“Well, yeah. I’m not, y’know…surprised, and definitely not disappointed. I’m stoked! I’m just expressing emotions about stuff I already knew was gonna happen. Uh, does that make any sense?”

 

“Yes,” Pearl says, leaning in to kiss Amethyst's cheek. “I understand it’s a lot to go through, but there are far more things to be excited about than there are to be upset. It’s just a matter of getting through this bump. You can’t forget that.”

 

“I know.” Amethyst rubs the back of her neck. These talks about her emotions — her hopes, her doubts, and all that was in between — were so difficult. Sometimes she can’t figure out if it’s because she’s not good with words in general, or if it’s because she feels everything so much that there’s nothing that can be used to describe it and she ends up sputtering and choking on her own damn heart. “But I guess I didn't know how difficult being pregnant might be for my body. You remember why I wanted to carry them so badly?”

 

Pearl nods.

 

“Yeah. Uh, that. I was so eager, to prove to you and everyone that I could be responsible, and mature, and a good quartz, and I felt like if I could  _make_ life after taking life from the Earth to be formed myself, I’d think of myself as being _waaay_ more than just a scrappy, nutrient-sucking shadow of what an amethyst is supposed to be. I wanted to so badly that I forgot—“

 

“That the road to progress is always bumpy.”

 

“I guess."

 

Pearl cuddles up to Amethyst, tracing circles and hearts on her fat belly. “It’s okay to have emotions, Amethyst…to struggle, to be honest about difficulties… The ability to admit that — isn’t that the most honourable of all?” She leans in and plants another kiss on purple skin, this time on Amethyst's jawline. “You’re not doing anything wrong, dear. You’re projecting your own insecurity onto others, thinking that we all view you as a failure.”

 

Amethyst breathes a sigh. She doesn't know what to say, but she appreciates it so much. “Is…is everything, like…is it gonna hurt really bad to push them out?”

 

“You’ve undergone much worse pain,” Pearl assures her. “It certainly won’t be pleasant, but if humans can give birth to full-sized newborns, surely you can handle a few eggs.”

 

“They’re getting huge, P. It’s not like one or five of your skinny little noodle fingers up in there," Amethyst says. “There’s four of them.”

 

“The vaginal canal is made to stretch,” Pearl insists. “It’s all muscle and tissue that gets toned. The better exercised the walls are, the better they’re able to flex, stretch, and snap back together...”

 

Amethyst smirks. “I think I’m pretty well-exercised down there.”

 

“I agree. Not to mention, your body will lubricate itself. So, essentially, what I’m saying is that everything will be just fine. The pain is inevitable, but only temporary.”

 

“I getcha. Just saying, though, if we ever have any more gemlings in the future, you’re gonna be the one getting preggo.”

 

Pearl laughs. It rings like a bell and Amethyst’s cheeks heat up. “I’ll hold your hand while you lay. With the way you’ll squeeze it, I’m sure I’ll be able to share at least some of your pain."

 

“Thanks, babe. Really. Thanks a lot. This really helped.”


	8. good deed in a naughty world

"Here it is," Pearl says, leaning down to bubble the gemstone of the corrupted gem that she and Garnet had just poofed. Once it's encapsulated, her hands rise, and she stares intently at the bubble.

 

And then it all comes rushing back to her. This monster had once been a friend. She had once fought on the same side as Pearl, and she might have walked proudly away with a victory in her arms and a planet to live on if not for the Diamonds unleashing that light -- that monstrously powerful, _blinding_ light --

 

Pearl gasps, her legs wobbling. The memories are dizzying. The sick, ugly noise of gemstones being smashed always worms its way back into her brain and loops endlessly on repeat. She whisks the bubble away and runs a hand down her face. Her palm comes back wet, and it takes her several moments to realise Garnet has her arm around her shoulders.

 

"Stop doing that to yourself," Garnet says.

 

"I've been better lately," Pearl insists. "I'm getting better again."

 

"I overheard your conversation with Steven."

 

"What...? Oh," Pearl says, her eyes widening. "Don't worry about any of that."

 

"You know you have to tell your gemlings."

 

There it is, Pearl thinks, and the bitterness rises from her stomach and into her throat. Every time she tries to move on, something or somebody has to bring it back. The only things that ever die in her world are those that she loves -- those

 

_(Rose)_

 

that deserved the world, an eternity. The evil always lived forever.

 

"I'm not going to talk to you about this, Garnet," Pearl spits, shaking herself free of Garnet's arm. "I've lived in the past for too long now. So have you. Isn't it time we move on?"

 

"Yes," Garnet says. "And we don't move on by ignoring memories, but by acknowledging them. That's why this keeps coming back to you."

 

In her head Pearl knows Garnet is right, but it's her noisy heart that hogs the stage. "Please," she begs, her fists clenching. "Garnet. I can't _talk_ about this right now. I'm worried about Amethyst enough as it is. I just want to enjoy my gemlings and my life without thinking about Rose a-and...what happened. If it comes back to me, then I'll deal with it then. Amethyst is always telling me to live in moment, and I'd like to experience that for once. Please. Let me."

 

Garnet doesn't show it. She's never entirely sure how to. But looking at Pearl, she feels practically suffocated, because Pearl sends her emotions drifting into the atmosphere like a contagious plague and Garnet can't avoid taking on her suffering. She wishes she could take it all away from Pearl, give her best friend a big hug and drain her of the tragedies they had experienced and the mistreatments they had endured.

 

But the real world wasn't so simple.

 

"Sure," Garnet says, trying hard to hide the strain in her voice.

 

* * *

 

Amethyst eyes the results of Pearl’s baby fever-induced shopping spree, watching as she stuffs blankets, stuffed animals and pillows into their nest. “So they’re like...totally into that stuff, right?”  


 

“That’s right,” Pearl hums. “If there’s one thing gemlings share in common with human children, it’s that they love to play.”

 

Amethyst cocks an eyebrow and goes back to reading her magazine, one of many that she had taken from Vidalia’s house. She rests on her stomach on a bunch of cushiony pillows, lower body inside their nest and upper body outside of it. She and Pearl had been spending their days here now, as it was fast approaching the time for her to give birth. “Hey, P, could you be an angel and get me some coffee?”

 

Pearl opens the cabinet and reaches for a mug.

 

“No no, just the beans.”

 

Pearl meets Amethyst's gaze and stares at her, waiting for Amethyst to crack a smile and tell her she’s just joking. It never comes. She does as has been requested of her, walking over with a container of coffee beans and handing it to her.

 

“D’aw, thanks. You’re the best.” Amethyst screws the cap on and dumps a giant helping in her mouth, chewing and swallowing.

 

Pearl eyes Amethyst's pregnant belly, swollen and huge full of their children.

 

_ (I'm going to be a mother.) _

 

“What are you reading?” she asks.

 

“’S a magazine about human drama and gossip and crap like that.” Amethyst flips the page.

 

“Could I...read it with you?”  


 

Amethyst lifts an eyebrow in confusion. “Huh? I thought you hated this kind of stuff. ‘Cause it’s shallow.”

 

“That’s true,” Pearl murmurs. How damn haughty she sounds when her words are played back to her is almost embarrassing. “But I don’t mind it if it’s with you.”

 

Lion makes his way over and lies down to sleep near Amethyst, who proceeds to prop up against him and open her arms up to Pearl, prompting her to come snuggle. Pearl obliges with a modest smile, lying next to her and burying her head into the crook of her neck as they lean against Lion.

 

“Easy on the tits,” Amethyst reminds Pearl, to which Pearl replies with an affirmative noise. Pearl had bought her a maternity bra to help support her breasts, which were still swollen and sore. Along with that, she’d still regularly been giving her bottles of mineral and nutrient supplements in an effort to ‘outpace’ the gemlings: perhaps, Pearl had thought, if Amethyst were given such a large amount, they could sap from her while leaving behind just enough to make up for the energy that had been taken. Would it work? Amethyst wasn't sure, but if there was anyone she trusted with her body, it was Pearl.  Either way, there wasn’t much that Amethyst would pass up consuming, so she continued to eat all of them.  _And_  the bottles.

 

Amethyst turns her head to kiss Pearl’s forehead, right on her milky gem, earning a series of absolutely adorable giggles and squirms. Pearl's hand lands on her own gemstone and caresses it while leaning in for a kiss on the lips, crawling on top of her. Amethyst meets her halfway and tosses her magazine aside, paws flying to Pearl’s hips and upper back, inhaling deeply through her nose as their lips work and tongues find their way into each other’s mouths. It’s only when her hands drift to Pearl’s breasts and give a squeeze that Pearl can find it in herself to pull away with a _‘pop’_ , saliva connecting their shiny mouths and eyes glazed over with a lusty sheen.

 

“Not on top of Lion,” Pearl breathes, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “Or when your mouth tastes like coffee beans.”

 

“Yeah,” Amethyst laughs in agreement, raspy. “Yeah, that’s fair.” She could just drag Pearl off into their nest and have some fun, but the risk of getting caught this early in the afternoon is simply too high. That, and she’d rather not fuck where her future children are going to be hanging out.

 

Pearl leans over to grab the magazine; Amethyst takes it from her and bends her knees so she can rest the pages against her upper thighs. She uses one hand to flip the pages while her other arm wraps around Pearl’s waist by her side, affectionately rubbing while her Pearl drapes her own arms over Amethyst's stomach, cradling the bulge there.

 

“Humans,” Pearl begins, scanning the pages with a blank, confused look, “are obsessed with their carnal desires. Sex, food, money, greed… I suppose it’s understandable, though, as such things bring them pleasure or energy or happiness and ultimately survival…but in a sense, it reminds me of Homeworld, the way they take more than they give.”

 

"Sometimes you gotta be a little selfish,” Amethyst says, pulling Pearl closer and flipping the page as Lion stretches behind them. “If you give too much, what’s left for yourself?”

 

“I can be greedy.”

 

That earns a sharp bark of a laugh. “Oh, I know you can. You hog all the pillows.”

 

Pearl’s cheeks flush with warmth again, but she finds herself laughing too as Amethyst continues.

 

“You know, P,” Amethyst says huskily, “you can’t be greedy or selfish about someone or something without a sorta threat — whether it’s real or imagined — that it could get lost or taken from you. And there ain't a damn chance anyone else could ever win my heart the way you did, so don’t you worry.” She kisses the tip of Pearl’s nose.

 

Pearl sighs hotly against Amethyst's skin. “You’re entirely correct,” she says, voice quivering, “but the feeling of so ferociously  _wanting_  and being wanted back, being the object of one’s most intense and selfish desire…it’s so incredibly exhilarating, isn’t it?”

 

Amethyst grunts in raspy agreement, struggling to speak coherently when their foreheads are pressed together like this, sharing oxygen. Her mind begins to fog over from Pearl’s breath. Before they know it they’re phasing into each other, glowing a brilliant white — but once the merging reaches Amethyst’s abdomen, the developing form wobbles and breaks apart, leaving  _them_  and not  _Opal_.

 

It’s a good minute or so before Amethyst talks again, eyes closed. If they were harmonious enough to fuse, she doesn’t need to open them to tell what Pearl’s feeling, and it's the same as her.

 

“I can’t lie about how much I wish I could do that right now.”

 

“I can’t either,” Pearl admits, pulling her forehead away from hers and sinking into her neck again, soaking up all of Amethyst's warmth. “But it won’t be too long now before we can. Keep reading,” she murmurs, reaching out to flip the page. “It will distract us.”

 

They’re taken to a page of celebrity opinions, and they lie together silently and read. Pearl quirks an eyebrow when she’s finished, clearly confused.  “What in the  _world_  are these humans  _famous_  for?”

 

Amethyst shrugs. “Dunno. They did some crazy thing and got attention or they had sex with someone who did some crazy thing and got attention or they’re already actors or models or something… Know what  _I_  think?”

 

“What’s that?”

 

Amethyst smooths her hand gingerly up and down Pearl’s arm. “I think a lot of it is just luck. You get lucky enough to be born into a family or a situation that gives you a chance to make it real big, while others just don’t get noticed for all the amazing stuff they do ‘cause they aren’t as pretty or think differently or don’t got enough dough.” Amethyst nearly spits the words, dripping with venom and displeasure over this aspect of human society. “Humans sorta brand each other as successful and notable or not based on certain characteristics. I guess us gems do that too, huh?”

 

Pearl looks at her fondly, head lifted in pleasant surprise over Amethyst’s bout of introspection. The way she says it all isn’t flowery, but if it were, it wouldn’t be  _her_. Clearly, Amethyst thinks more about the planet they occupy than Pearl gives her credit for. After knowing one another for millennia and then falling in love, it might seem a fair assumption that they’d have stopped surprising each other by now, but in reality…

 

“That’s true,” Pearl says. “I must admit that I’ve some lingering sorrows about not being able to escape social hierarchy, even though it’s not enacted by my own kind here.”

 

Amethyst pulls her in closer, hoping to comfort her in case the topic at hand grows to be too difficult to talk about.

 

“In my view, it’s all in relation to humans and their survival instinct. They cast away that difference which is perceived as a threat… Despite how negative I sound, there are still plenty of aspects that bring me the hope and motivation to work to salvage this world. Those who still believe their race is good at heart and worth fighting for — those who protest cruelty even amongst the millions by their side who accept it…”  She covers her mouth in slight mirth, flustered and looking away. “Look at me. Here I am, commenting on human resistance to change despite having so much rigidity myself… It’s so hypocritical of me. I never thought I’d be in this spot, on a planet like this, far from Homeworld, yet I’ve landed here…”

 

_"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."_ Shakespeare had meant it as a commentary on the limits of  _human_  awareness and knowledge of what’s out there, but Pearl finds she can relate to it in this moment.

 

Since when did her mind drift to _Hamlet?_

 

“Hey, props on admitting you've got issues. Can’t work on anything without knowing where the problem is in the first place, right, Pierogi?” Amethyst grins at Pearl, full of hope and support. “I mean, you think Rose would be  _mad_  that you’ve struggled with adapting after where you guys  _came_  from? She totally dumped this stuff on us, and then  _we_  dumped it on Lapis and Peridot. She wanted to show us how beautiful new things and growing are by giving us Steven. She believed in humans’ worth and our ability to open up so much she was willing to give up her form for it. Let’s not ever stop putting trust in what she saw in this planet and in us, ‘kay?”

 

_ (What Rose saw in this planet...what Rose made me see in this planet...) _

 

_ (No. Don't think about the past.) _

 

Truly touched, Pearl's hand falls back upon Amethyst’s stomach. Amethyst can tell what she’s saying from the look in her eyes alone — _“Look at what we’re bringing to this world, Amethyst,”_  Pearl would whisper, laced with giddiness and joy.  _“Tiny little lives who will never be told what they have to be, but instead allowed to forage that on their own from the very beginning. Isn’t that wonderful? That’s just what Rose always wanted, what we’ve fought for together as the Crystal Gems…”_

 

“…You’re beautiful,” Amethyst mumbles, blushing something fierce.

 

“As are you.”

 

“Yeah, but you’re like, proof that angels do exist and not just in heaven. Me, well, there’s tons of pretty stuff made on Earth.”

 

“Hush,” Pearl says, grabbing the magazine and throwing it aside again so she can climb on top of Amethyst, grabbing her cheeks to press their mouths together.

 

* * *

**__ **

_Ring-ring. Ring-ring. _

 

Amethyst lids fly open, revealing sleepy indigo that grows alert when Amethyst reads the Caller ID. _Dr. Priyanka Maheswaran._ She _could_ just ignore it — and in most cases, she would. Considering her lack of manners and tendency to blabber about sensitive stuff, it’s for the best. The curiosity that rouses within her, however, is proving to be too much to resist. What if it’s something _really_ important? She's no Pearl, yeah, but what if ignoring a phone call and a potential emergency ends with Connie’s family doubting their trust in the Crystal Gems again?  Her stubby fingers reach out to the rumbling thing, then pull back, only to shoot out again and snatch the phone, bringing it to her ear. 

 

“ _Heeey_ there, Dr. Maheswaran! I’m doing pretty good, heh. Thanks. The kids?” Amethyst turns to look out the window, greeted with the sight of Steven and Connie acting something out from a book on the beach. “They’re just playin’ outside. All good. No danger here.” She hums a low, throaty purr, grinning contently to herself.  Just as quickly as the smile appears on her face, it leaves. Amethyst presses the phone harder against her ear, as though she’s making sure she's hearing things correctly. “What’s that? You meant _my_ kids? Oh, uh…”

 

Shit. _Fuck_. She fucked up. This is approaching territory that she is _not_  permitted to just discuss with an impressionable human family that are supposed to think gems are at least somewhat normal, which they totally aren't, and not gross and weird, which they totally are. Her gaze darts frantically around the room, making sure Pearl isn’t listening in.  “They’re, well, uh… _not born yet_. Longest nap _ever_ , am I right?” She coughs out an awkward laugh. 

 

( _Please don’t ask for details. Please.)_

 

“Huh? A donor?”  Amethyst cocks her head in confusion.  “Ohhh. A sperm donor. Nah, there’s not a bank nearby. I mean, at least I don’t think there is. Didn’t really go looking for one ‘cause we didn’t need any help. See, if we had done it that way, I'd have...well, we can't survive that. These babies are half _me_ DNA, half _Pearl_ DNA, full _cute_ DNA, all the way.”

 

Announcing that fact has her so smug and pleased that when Dr. Maheswaran asks for clarification, she completely forgets that spilling all the details about gems and their odd alien reproduction is probably not the best idea. 

 

“Nope. Pearl’s got innie bits. But if we wanna have kids, we shapeshift _outie_ bits and then, y’know, stick it in when we’re ready, do the whole kit and kaboodle — I’m talking about _S-E-X_ — and then if we’re lucky, we get buns in the oven. Woohoo!”  She cheers, patting her stomach, lazy and without a single concern about what she’s saying or the recipient floating into her mind. 

 

When Connie’s mother speaks again, she seems _much_ less enthusiastic, but still offers her help anyways, likely just to be kind.

 

“Naw,” Amethyst responds, bouncing her foot around. “We really appreciate the offer, but I think we’ve got it. Yeah, we’re positive. _Totally_ positive. Listen, I know you’re really talented at delivering human babies -- and major kudos to all those human moms who get stitches in their --...hey, wait a second. Do _I_ have to get stitches in the bits -- okay, in that case, we're gonna need you."

 

It goes silent. 

 

"...Anyways, you’ve never helped a gem mom lay eggs before, have you? Only scrambled ‘em for breakfast.”

 

“O-oh,” Dr. Maheswaran stammers back, realisation slowly but surely sinking in. “In that case, I’m sure you two can definitely handle it. I wish you the…best of luck.”

 

“Aw, thanks! We’re _so_ excited. Call any time, ‘kay?”

 

The call ends and it's only then that Amethyst is hit with the weight of what she’s just done. Oh, _God_. She just told Connie’s mom about gem reproduction. If Connie isn’t allowed to spend the night anymore, it’s totally her fault. The line _“Pearl’s got innie bits”_ actually came out of her fucking mouth.  Her stomach drops and she turns around, expecting Pearl to be there, glaring and having heard the entire conversation. Thankfully, she’s alone. Amethyst clutches her chest, feeling her heart pound within. She leans back on her palms to support her seat on the counter and takes deep breaths.

 

The near silent taps of Pearl’s feet on the hardwood come eventually, but Amethyst can’t tell from which direction. That’s the problem with loving a ballerina — she can’t keep Pearl on her toes, because that’s where she’s the most powerful. She feels a sudden hand on her shoulder and fear grips her form, breath seizing, but when she looks, the sight of Pearl's big blue eyes and perky, energetic smile is anything but scary.

 

“You’re _up!_ ” comes the excited observation, bouncing on her heels. She sets a basket of Steven's laundry aside. “I thought you’d be sleeping forever, at that rate. Was it you I heard talking on the phone?”

 

Amethyst’s feels like she might choke on her own pounding heart.  “Y…yup!”

 

“With who?”  


 

“Uh,” she stutters. “A telemarketer.”

 

Pearl’s expression grows quizzical and she plants her hands on either side of Amethyst, leaning over and into her. Her voice is soft and captivating, wafting like some sort of impeccably tempting mist that fills Amethyst’s brain. “Oh, really? What were they selling?”  She leans even further, forcing Amethyst into a squashed, awkward position to look her in the eyes. Their bellies press together.

 

“I, um--" fuck, Pearl smells so good-- "hung up before I could find out.”  


 

“Hm,” Pearl hums, so close their lips near touch and she can _taste_ the warmth bleeding into Amethyst’s skin. “Strange. We don’t usually receive phone calls here...”

 

Amethyst swallows nervously, sitting in the torturously awkward silence and staring at Pearl, waiting for her to admit that she heard the whole thing, every damn _second_ — but all she gets is a sudden kiss to her snub nose, a big old wet one. Pearl grabs the laundry and scampers off to go put it away, leaving Amethyst in a confused daze.

 

It’s so fast she’s certain she’d have missed it if she blinked. Seeing stars, Amethyst lifts a hand to her face and rubs her nose with her palm, feeling the wet smudge and the radiating warmth of her flush.

 

* * *

 

Were they humans, the heat of the bathwater would likely prove scalding and painful. Luckily for Pearl and Amethyst, they’re full-blooded gems, so they get to enjoy it. 

 

_(And people think bein' a rock is boring)._

 

They sit together, Amethyst’s arms folded on the rim of the bathtub and her chin resting atop while Pearl lathers shampoo into her mop of hair. Once lathered, she  grabs the showerhead and lets the steaming water rain down on her from the top of her head down her nude body. The sensation is more than welcome, and Amethyst purrs in approval, the vibrations deep and rumbly and resonating. 

 

“Hey, so,” Amethyst begins, “when can I go on missions with you guys again?”

 

“A few weeks after your body has fully recovered.”

 

Amethyst pouts, sticking out her thick bottom lip. Were she a child, tears would be pricking the corners of her eyes, quivering in place before spilling over her cheeks. _“Seriously?”_ Pearl’s hand snags on a knot, making her wince as she combs it out. “C’mon, I can get back to it sooner than that. Trust me! I can take anything.”

 

Pearl’s resulting glare damn near burns into her, blazing hotter than the water could ever hope to. She turns her nose up snootily. “I trust that you’re _reckless_ ,” she says, a short-fused and unimpressed look on her face that reeks of days of old and a certain haughty yellow pearl. “I’ve come so close to losing you time and time again these past few years, and you think I’ll let you run around and play with no regards to your safety mere _days_ after you’ve finished having children… Over my shattered _gem_ , _Amethyst_.”

 

Amethyst grumbles, that damned stern tone only spurring her defiance on further, like a dog testing the binds of the chain around its neck.  A whine seeps between her teeth. “I’m not a human child, P.” Amethyst leans back against Pearl. “I wanna live in the moment.”

 

“Exactly,” Pearl says, lathering Amethyst's back and arms with body wash. “It takes but a moment for you to be gone.”

 

Amethyst is about to interject, but then she feels the steam blanketing her form, the arms around her waist, no longer to wrap entirely around her belly with how big her womb has stretched — and she’s silent, unable to form words. Pearl's hands riss to her breasts, soaping them, mindful of how sore they are with their delicate touch. They’re the only other pair besides her own she’s ever trusted to feel her there.  Pearl kisses the dip where her shoulder meets her neck and whispers into her ear, sugary and crooning. 

 

“It’s not about putting yourself down or viewing you as weak or lesser, Amethyst. It’s about acknowledging _you_ for _exactly_ what you are: a strong and durable being that still has her limits. Please, respect that you have limitations and need to heal or the only wayyou’ll ever learn this lesson is fatally. Be kind to your body,” she sighs, hot, familiar breath against Amethyst’s soaked skin still distinguishable amongst the other sensations. 

 

A pang of guilt grips Amethyst’s chest at Pearl’s soft and comforting touch. Here she is, scaring someone who loves and cherishes her so much, for no real purpose other than to prove some kind of strength and worth that Pearl already saw in her centuries ago. She shifts their positions so she can trail a hand up Pearl’s warm back, walking her fingers up her spine until she can press into a good spot between her shoulder blades. It makes Pearl shudder, the columns of shower water that roll down her body confirming to and riding along the ripple of her jutting muscles.

 

“…Okay, Pearl,” Amethyst whispers. Agreeing to self-care is still new for her and doesn’t come right away, but she’s trying her best. She really is. “I’ll be careful and patient and….take care of myself. Thanks. And...thanks for carrying me back when I poof or get hurt and stuff.”  She rests her forehead against Pearl’s back and sighs, shoulders sagging. 

 

She can’t see her mate's face, but she knows she’s smiling proudly.

* * *

 

_ “Ooh.” _

 

“Here?”

 

“Higher…a little to the left…oh yeah, right there. Harder,” comes a groan. “And don’t you dare stop.”

 

A series of giggles and gasps and moans and suspicious shuffling follows. “Does that feel good, Amethyst?” Pearl coos from within, so sultry it’s dripping.

 

“Fuck yeah,” Amethyst pants. “Th—th—oh, God, P, _yes_ , _circles_ , that’s the _spot_ right _there_ , I’m almost—“

 

Her sentence is cut off by a loud _‘zzzpppttt’_ as the tent is unzipped and a pair of green hands grabs either flap, pulling the entry wide apart so she can expose Pearl and Amethyst for the horny, indecent filth that they are. 

 

“Were you two _copulating_ just now?” Peridot demands.

 

“Dude,” Amethyst mutters, tossing a handful of popcorn into her mouth. She’s sitting, fully clothed...just like Pearl, who lies on her stomach next to her, head in her hands and her legs kicking happily behind her like some teen at a sleepover talking about their date. Amethyst moves the bowl, revealing the laptop in between them. “No. We’re watching _'I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant'_.”

 

“I really like that show,” Lapis says.

 

Peridot squints in confusion. “Then what were those noises—“

 

“I was scratching an itch that she couldn’t reach for her,” Pearl explains, looking over her shoulder with a friendly smile.

 

  
Peridot gawks in complete and utter shock over these weirdos. Who just _moans_ like that over an _itch?_   She closes her maw eventually, though, giving a little sniff and observing the space Pearl and Amethyst are situated in. “Is this your nest? Hm. _Admittedly_ , it’s impressive — _perhaps_ impressive enough to rival our barn.” She crouches, and while Lapis keeps a respectful and humble distance, Peridot pokes her nose in and around.  She steps too close, and the friendliness that the other gems radiate is quickly replaced with alertness and wariness, widening eyes and dilating pupils.

 

Pearl sits up and dashes forward in an instant, stopping Peridot from getting any closer. “No no no,” she scolds, pushing Peridot back and easing her further out. She adjusts Peridot until she’s precisely one foot away from their nest. “Stay at comfortable distance of exactly twelve inches at all times,” she demands, wiggling her finger to show where the precise point on the floor is before slinking back inside.

 

“Don’t you know better than to approach a pair of expecting mates and their den like that, Peri?” Amethyst fishes a piece of popcorn out of her bra, eating it. “Not even _Ste-man_ is allowed in here right now. I dunno what kinda pearls you’re used to, but _this_ one—“ she points at Pearl with her thumb — “knows how to swing an axe and damn well, too. One wrong move and she’ll chop you up and feed gem bits to the seagulls.” 

 

Finding this crude talk completely acceptable in her instinct-fueled protectiveness, Pearl nods vigorously, and Amethyst continues. 

 

“Or just shapeshift into a gull and eat ‘em herself.” 

 

Nodding quickly turns into Pearl shaking her head _‘no’._

 

“Okay. No turning into a seagull. But the first part, yes.”

 

“Rocks are probably hard to eat,” Lapis says.

 

"Uh, I've been eating rocks since I was formed."

 

Peridot’s face is hot in embarrassment, but she tries to compose herself and forge an excuse for why she ‘forgot’ rather than admitting she never knew in the first place. She coughs into her fist and clears her throat. “My apologies,” she says. “It took several thousand years to land here on Earth, but only a few months to lose my intelligent senses, it seems. I’ll have to train myself again."

 

She walks around the nest of her two companions, examining it, but Pearl is always one step ahead of her. She pops her head out of flaps she’s cut with a cheery grin, watching closely for any funny business like it’s the most normal and casual thing in the world. 

 

“So,” Amethyst says from inside, “why’re you guys visiting, anyways? Normally we come visit you, right?”

 

“Well,” Peridot says, “it’s about Lapis and I being your… _babysitters_.”

 

“Ohhh! Man, I almost forgot that you two _agreed_ to that.”

 

“That _Lapis_ agreed,” Peridot clarifies.

 

Pearl’s heart sinks, and she clasps her hands together anxiously, as if formulating an alternate plan. “So you’re _resigning?_ Oh, what a shame... Well, in that case, I suppose we still have Garnet, and—“

 

“Actually,” Peridot interrupts, “I didn’t come here to resign, but rather, to officially agree.” 

 

Lapis’s light smile widens.

 

“You don’t seem excited,” Amethyst says.

 

Peridot chuckles cynically to herself, raising her arms in question. “Why _would_ I be? There’s nothing exciting about those... _hatchlings_. They’re loud, they're rude, they're squirmy, they don’t get along with me, they steal my things, they cause trouble, are inherently evil..."

 

“Woah, woah, woah. Hold up. Our kiddos are gonna be perfectly well-behaved little angels who only _occasionally_ cause trouble.” 

 

Knowing that Peridot is too proud to elaborate on her own, Lapis decides to speak for her. “Peridot has always had bad luck with gemlings liking her on Homeworld,” she explains, head tilting just so. “She thinks that they all hate her and stays away from mates, so that’s why she didn’t know not too come to close.”

 

Peridot clears her throat again, arms behind her back, trying her best to remain professional. 

 

“Oh, Peridot,” Pearl coos. “I’m sorry to hear that. But that doesn’t mean that _all_ gemlings will be the same. We'll raise them to be kind and accepting, just as the Crystal Gems have always been to one another. Try to approach this with an open mind—“

 

“Yeah, like, don’t call ‘em brats," Amethyst says around a massive mouthful of popcorn. "Wait, do you? Maybe _that's_ why they hate you? Man, psychology is totally my calling.“

 

“—and have patience. I’m sure you’ll warm up to them eventually. And, if it's still too much, there’s no shame in backing out. As I said, we have Garnet. And…Gr… Yes, Garnet.”

 

“I don’t plan to back out of this," Peridot says. "It’s the _least_ I can do to say…thank you, for what you two have done for me.”

 

Lapis puts a hand on Peridot's shoulder, and Peridot looks up at her. Their mutual eye contact makes something rise within her, something she's never felt before.

 

“D'aw, don’t sweat it, you two,” Amethyst rasps in amusement. “It’s new to all of us, even me ’n’ P. We’re learning and we’re all together in this. We're not gonna think any less of you if this isn't for you, but we really do appreciate you giving watching the little buggers a shot. It’s not the end of the world if you mess some stuff up, though. I mean, if _that’s_ what brings on an apocalypse, this planet should be totally obliterated by now.”

 

The room fills with laughter and they talk until Peridot and Lapis announce they’re departing once more, returning to the barn to work on their new art collaboration with Steven.

 

“So that’s where he’s run off to...” Pearl mutters under her breath.

 

“ _Congratulations_ ,” Peridot mumbles. “…And thank you.”

 

“Good luck!” Lapis says, waving, genuine excitement in her voice -- a sharp contrast to the usual dryness. It's nice to see. “Tell _Steven_ to come find us when we can meet the new gems and...we’ll be be back.”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Amethyst says, her hand clasped with Pearl's. “Will do. Thanks for everything!”

 

They wait until the other gems are out of sight before zipping their enclosure shut again.

* * *

  

Amethyst had always thought she and Pearl were simply incompatible. It was as though every time they reached out in an attempt to make contact, they were just barely too far apart to reach one another. No matter how close they got, it was never close enough.  She doesn’t exactly know when, but at some point, they’d managed to breach those last few inches and connect, sparks flying as their fingers finally touched. And now, in her calloused, runty, imperfect hands did Amethyst hold Pearl’s glass heart, entrusted with handling it with love and care, tasked with the responsibility of making certain it wasn't dropped and shattered.

 

(Amethyst actually had a lot of precious things and treasures hoarded and stashed away in her sea of junk. This one was by far her favourite.)

 

“Hey, babe,” she says. Pearl looks over at her. “You think we’re gonna need the luck Lapis and Peri wished us?”

 

“Luck is simply a word used to describe the feelings of being special or experiencing a miracle when something unlikely yet not impossible occurs. Everything is a matter of chance and probability, not magic.”

 

Amethyst laughs. “Okay, let me rephrase in P-Speak. Pearl, _dear_ , do you think we’ll need to land the most unlikely positive outcomes to successfully raise our children?”

 

Pearl blushes brilliantly, smile an amalgam of embarrassment and amusement.  “I think we’ll need to support each other, take things one day at a time, and have confidence in ourselves and our capabilities to successfully raise our children. Just like we’ve talked about, yes? We’ll have to experience unfamiliar situations for ourselves rather than trying to solve problems through ruminating and anticipation before they’ve happened. Go with the, ah... _flow_ …”

 

Amethyst’s face lights up, elated that Pearl remembered the saying in its entirety.

 

That’s the fun of it. Pearl’s different. Pearl was someone who didn’t instantly understand her, who clashed with her, someone with whom Amethyst had to _earn_ a relationship rather than being handed it.  Pearl had challenged her, and Amethyst had been thoroughly rewarded, because in that moment she _understood_  Pearl — not artificially, not through guessing, but she was truly, actually sharing the exact sentiments that her enigma of a mate was. Not only were they on the same page in their own little chapter of life’s book, but they were using the same damn pen, too.

 

Oh, boy, does victory taste sweet.

 

“I feel a sense of miraculousness in knowing that the unlikely yet not impossible outcome of meeting such a lovely gem, having her as my gem wife and ultimately getting knocked up with her gem babies has been bestowed upon me.”

 

“ _I_ , on the other hand, feel _lucky_. The word you’re looking for is _‘lucky’_ , Amethyst. I explained the reality of the word, not why to stop using it. ”

 

They erupt into laughter, and Amethyst musters the strength to climb back into Pearl’s arms and watch their silly show together, embraced in a tight hug with loving kisses fluttering all over her face.

 

“Yeah, I’m lucky.”


	9. about time (pt.1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: This chapter contains oviposition/egg laying/birth.

“Now, Steven,” Pearl begins, bold and proud, “mothers are very exhausted after birth and need time to recover from such a taxing process and replenish their energy, so please allow Amethyst to rest undisturbed when she’s done.”

 

They — Steven, Pearl, Amethyst, Garnet and Greg — lie scattered around the fireplace. Amethyst sleeps in Pearl’s arms, exhausted with how hard her body is working to prepare for birth in the next few days. Her belly is absolutely _fat_ , swollen to its peak, ready to pop at seemingly any moment now. Gazing upon her, Pearl’s chest soars with the familiar but unfading pride that it was in part her who made the gemlings inside of her mate, and she squeezes Amethyst tighter at the thought. Normally she’d be opposed to such affection in public, but when Amethyst is like this, her instinct to take care of her overrides all.

 

_ (I'm going to be a mother soon. I, a pearl, am going to be a mother soon, though Homeworld told me I could never be. Do you see me, Rose? This is my final act of rebellion. Are you proud of me? Thank you. Thank you for everything.) _

 

"Pearl is right," Garnet says. “No roughhousing or being too noisy. Be sure to give Amethyst plenty of space and patience while she returns to her usual self.”

 

Pearl nods. “Yes, yes! Be understanding if she’s irritable or snappy and not up for jokes. She’ll also likely be possessive of me and not want me to leave for a little while, so don’t be alarmed if you don't see  _either_  of us for a few days.”

 

Steven salutes. “Yes ma’am! When can I touch the eggs?!”  


 

Pearl considers it for a moment. “A few days after they're here, but only under  _my_  supervision with gloves and washed hands.”

 

Amethyst stirs in her arms and cracks her bleary eyes open, managing a lazy, teasing grin. “Careful,  _Steve-o_. Pierogi here might bite your arm off. She’s been a total guard dog lately.”

 

“Cut Pearl some slack, Amethyst. She can’t be any worse than I was when I found out Homeworld gems were coming for my little man here!” Greg ruffles Steven’s hair, and the room erupts into laughter.

 

"Are you scared, Amethyst?" Steven asks when they've all settled down.

 

_(Yeah, I'm scared. I'm so fucking scared I want to shrivel up and die. I hear giving birth hurts like a motherfucker, but I gotta take it like a real quartz. No tears. No pain, no gain. If Jasper would laugh at it, then I'm doing something wrong.)_

 

"Nah."

 

* * *

 

Jasper would definitely be laughing.

 

“ _Fuck_ , Pearl,” Amethyst sobs, choking as another contraction shreds through her. It starts in her abdomen and spreads throughout her entire form like she’s being ripped apart. They come rapidly and intensely now, forcing her eyes to squeeze shut. Her lids are able to flicker open during the brief moments that she’s not contracting, and she can take in the blurry sight of Pearl cleaning up the wet mess spilled all over her thighs the best she can and positioning her onto fresh bedding and towels. 

 

She whimpers again and clutches whatever she can reach next to her as her uterus contracts once more. Every time a contraction rips through her, her mind is scrambled blank, unable to think until it’s over. “I can’t do this,” Amethyst cries, a couple of tears pricking her eyes. She weakly pushes herself up and tries to crawl awaay.

 

Pearl instantly stops her and grabs her. “Oh, yes you can,” she says, boldly, unwavering. “And you’re going to do it right here with me.”

 

Amethyst _groans_ and reaches for her mate’s hand. Pearl gives it to her and she starts squeezing it so hard that the bones would break if she weren’t a gem. Her mate leans over and kisses her forehead. Amethyst's body is shining with a sheen of sweat that Pearl can then taste on her lips, prompting her to press a cool, damp cloth against the other's face with her free hand, blotting the uncomfortable moisture dry.

 

“It hurts so fucking _bad_ , Pearl,” Amethyst whimpers, squirming and tightening her death grip as more of her body’s lubrication seeps out of her. Thank the stars her partner had anticipated all this mess or else she’d be ruining everything.

 

“I know,” Pearl says somberly, her soul being speared by Amethyst's gut-wrenching cries of pain. "And you’ll get through it. I know you will.”

 

“P-promise?” Amethyst gasps.

 

“I promise,” Pearl calmly assures her, knowing full well she can't be anxious in this moment. Amethyst needs this voice of reason when she's lost her confidence. “ _Breathe_ , Amethyst.”

 

“I _can’t,”_ Amethyst moans.

 

“Yes you can,” Pearl insists, rubbing her thumb over the hand that’s digging its nails into her.

 

“Gems don’t need to breathe,” Amethyst gasps, her spine twisting.

 

“ _Feels good, though,”_ Pearl coos back. “In and out, Amethyst. Deeply.”

 

Amethyst follows Pearl's instructions, inhaling sloppy gulps of air that eventually stabilise into balanced and focused breaths. They’re shaky on the inhale and boisterous on the exhale, but at least she’s not holding them anymore. She’s trying and that’s good enough. Amethyst howls in protest at the sharp, squeezing pains in her abdomen again, biting her lip so hard it splits.

 

“ _Push_ , Amethyst,” Pearl says.

 

“I can’t,” Amethyst weeps in response once more. "I fucking can't, I give up, _PEARL!_ "

 

“I know you can. Just try for me, won’t you? Try, and if it’s still too much, we’ll figure something out. The sooner you try, the sooner you’ll be able to see _them_. Will you try, Amethyst?”

 

The idea sends a surge of confidence racing through Amethyst’s form, and she nods weakly, sweat rolling down her face.  “Okay,” she rasps pathetically, her throat burning like a wildfire. “Y-yeah, I’ll try.”

 

“Good,” Pearl says. 

 

The noise that spills out of Amethyst as she begins to bear down is nothing short of unholy and ear-splitting. _Ouch_ , in more ways than one. Her nails leave crescents on Pearl’s skin and Pearl is beyond thankful that she asked Steven to spend the night at Connie’s so he wouldn’t have to listen to _this_. 

 

“I love you very much, Amethyst,” Pearl murmurs. She doesn’t expect a verbal response — she just wants to let Amethyst know that she still loves her, even when she’s gross and in pain and howling. She can see the faintest hint of a smile flash across those thick lips.

 

“Now push,” she says. “If you know what’s good for you, stars, Amethyst, _push_.”

* * *

 

The first is the large amethyst egg. Pearl is only half-surprised — surprised that the biggest wasn't saved for last, but _not_ because it makes perfect sense that such a big gemling would force her way out of her mate first, announcing herself to the world and eagerly greeting it, even within the confines of the shell. Amethyst had pushed it out with enough tears to fill a bath, an impossibly tight hand clasping at Pearl’s tiny wrist like she was wringing the life out of her, and a final heave when it reached its thickest circumference and she thought her cunt was going to split and the rest of her body would follow. 

 

Thankfully, it didn’t. The first of their children simply slid out, right into Pearl’s waiting hands, to which she quickly cleaned away all of the sticky fluid covering it with a towel, examined it for any imperfections — _none!_ — and placed her to rest in the basket, heat lamp already on and temperature checked. She then returned to work.

 

Another amethyst had soon followed, along with a pearl egg immediately after. The second amethyst was much smaller than the first, but still posed quite a formidable challenge, making her mother gasp and shriek so loud it echoed off the walls as the thing slid out of her cunt. 

 

By the way she was squeezing and crying, Pearl could tell that Amethyst was convinced her poor little body was going to pop and break.  She wished she could somehow soak up even just an ounce of the pain. Anything to make it better. Seeing Amethyst in pain feels like smashing her very soul. It looked unbearable, but Amethyst was doing it — for their children, for her, for _them_. God, was she _damned_ proud of her.

 

The first pearl hadn’t been easy, but her smaller size was in a whole different league than the amethysts. While cleaning her egg of laying fluid and placing her neatly alongside the others, Pearl had felt some relief in knowing that her mate could finally get a break — the last was another pearl and shouldn’t be too hard to lay. They were almost _done_.

 

If she could be any more wrong, she’d like to know: as far as she was concerned, this was a new record.

 

That last little pearl had proven the most difficult for Amethyst out of all of them. Pearl didn’t understand why, but theorised that her body had simply had _enough_ and was giving up on her somehow. It didn’t matter, in the end — she wasn’t exactly calculating possibilities in her mind while Amethyst had moved to clutching Pearl around her neck, holding her as tightly as possible to her form, tears rolling down her face as Pearl struggled to keep her thrashing legs open so she didn’t tense up and tighten too much and their child could come out of her. She howled like a wolf at the full moon in Pearl’s ear, rattling its drum and digging her nails in Pearl's back as all of her fluids smeared on Pearl’s hands, fingers; and her mate encouraged her, shouting into her skin — “ _Push_ , Amethyst, _please!_ ” and _at last_  that last egg slid out of her hole and into Pearl’s grasp with a final, soul-splitting cry of simultaneous pain and triumph and a squishing noise as all kinds of liquids spilled out of her.

 

It’s disgusting, really. Sensationalise birth as much as one wishes, but Pearl knew the truth now: unpleasant, and wet, and painful, and screamy, and _oh_ , was it so beyond _beautiful_ in its own nasty way.

 

Amethyst doesn’t think much when it’s all over. She can't. She can feel the warm kisses pressed against her cheeks and forehead, Pearl’s praise as she tells her “It’s done, Amethyst,” and “I told you that you could do it.” She’s aware of it, hears it, feels it, processes it and recognises it, but her brain is a floaty, distant sea of slush, like she’s swimming in clouds. Her body uses the last of her remaining energy to pump out those endorphins to cope with the pain, as well as lull her to sleep so she can start gaining her energy back after birthing. She pants, weakly clutches Pearl to her, and keeps her eyes shut, allowing herself to drift off, thankful for everything she is and will be.

 

There _is_ one thought that manages to cement itself in her loopy mind, though, and that is that she’d gladly do this all again.

* * *

 

“Pearl?”

 

Amethyst's voice is weak and strained, barely audible. She frantically pats around her, panic settling in because _she’s not here._ _“Pearl?!”_

 

“Other side, Amethyst,” comes that sweet wind chime of a voice that Amethyst loves so much. She whips to her right and is greeted by the sight of Pearl resting on her side, chin in her palm and grinning at her. At some point during the night she’d swaddled Amethyst up in a bunch of warm, comfortable blankets, head rested on proper pillows.

 

“ _Pearl!_ Oh, _God_ ,” Amethyst whines. “Pearl, did I…”

 

“You did,” Pearl says, leaning in to give Amethyst a kiss. “How do you feel?”

 

“I’m alive,” Amethyst sighs, utterly exhausted and fatigued. All of her muscles burn, and it’s terribly late at night, beckoning her to sleep — but she keeps herself alert the best she can so she can talk to Pearl. She tries to stretch her legs and groans at the aching apex. “I don’t think I’m gonna want sex for a while.”

 

Pearl laughs. “As if I’d be _asking_ for any until you feel better!”

 

Amethyst chuckles along with her — weak as it is, she still loves a good joke — pressing into Pearl and sapping up all her warmth. Her eyelids droop. Her fuel tank was almost empty. There was just barely enough left to ask what she wants.

 

“Can I see them?”

 

Pearl extracts herself from their embrace, and Amethyst’s eyes close in exhaustion while her mate shuffles around. They open when Pearl returns, holding a basket with four eggs nestled together on top of fluffy blue and purple blankets.

 

“ _Oh_ my _God_ ,” Amethyst gasps, hands clapping to her mouth.

 

“They’re flawless,” Pearl hums, presenting them to her. “Absolutely _stunning_. It's no wonder that your body was working so hard, producing such a perfect clutch…”

 

“P,” Amethyst sobs, hot tears rolling down her cheeks instantly. 

 

Pearl’s face fills with concern.  “Amethyst? Is something wrong?”

 

“No, babe,” Amethyst gushes, sniffling. “Everything’s so…it’s so _r_ _ight!_ Oh, God, I can’t believe this is happening, P — _look_ at them! They’re not even _hatched_ yet and I’m so in _love_ — those are _our_ little _babies_ , Pearl — they came out of me, we _made_ them —“

 

Pearl beams at her and takes a seat next to her, wiping her cheeks free of moisture. Her gemstone glows, flashing the light on the basket so they can fully take in the colours of the gemlings’ eggs.

 

“About time,” Amethyst quietly and pathetically but wholesomely cheers. "About fucking time..."

 

_ (Take this, Jasper.) _

 

“Two amethysts,” Pearl whispers, leaning her head on Amethyst’s. “And two pearls.”


	10. about time (pt.2)

Amethyst’s never really considered herself to be beautiful. Hot, okay, sure, and although the way Pearl constantly dotes on her and tells her how gorgeous she is makes her burn up and melt into a gooey, blubbering puddle, she just can’t compare her having a nice pair of tits to the flutter she gets in her belly when she looks at Pearl. Pearl’s breathtaking, literally: Amethyst always sucks in a dazed breath through gritted teeth when she’s undressing her and that top slides off and her hungry gaze is greeted by all the delicious tendons and shadows and points and crevices on Pearl's frame. 

 

She’d devour Pearl, then and there, tongue dipping into the shallow pools of her hipbones, the hollows flanking her mound of Venus; and her fingers would map patterns on her goosebump-pricked skin, pretending her nerves are circuitry lighting up, and Pearl’s hooded eyes would finally roll shut and she'd sigh out of her nose as Amethyst’s teeth graze the bottom ridges of her ribcage. The body worship would go on for hours, and soft whimpers and coos and gasps would pepper the air as Amethyst’s nose began to rove and nuzzle lower and lower, starved for something else.

 

Pearl’s body was just like her personality: complex and varied underneath the surface. At a glance she was thin and flat and plain but if one cared to take a closer look they’d see she was toned, subtly muscled with exercise and delicately curved. Amethyst had a chest and hips and an ass but hers weren’t gradually sloped like Pearl’s were — they were just _there._

 

Boisterous.

 

* * *

  

“That’s what makes you beautiful,” Pearl had told her while they examined themselves in the mirror. “Your body is a reflection of who you are. You’re explicit, and proud, and intense…you don’t hesitate or ever feel the need to be gradual. You just shamelessly are.” She put a hand on Amethyst’s shoulder. It was slick with sweat, and yet this time Pearl's nose didn’t scrunch. “Look, Amethyst,” she coaxed, urging the other gem to examine herself further. “Your form doesn’t hide, the way mine does. You live in the moment, and you bring me into it, too… I’ve never been able to have that. Not on my own, at least. You’re here, not in the past, or the future — and that’s what I find fascinating."

 

Amethyst squinted at herself in the glass of the mirror, desperately trying to see what Pearl saw, but all she found was one formless gem and then another next to it with a body built just right for its owner, with limbs like puzzle pieces that fit together to perfection.

 

* * *

 

Looking at unhatched children, Amethyst felt that she now had the faintest understanding of the beauty that Pearl claimed to see in her. It wasn’t a literal reflection, no, but the birthed geodes _were_ her, and not even in an overly abstract sense. They had been formed by Amethyst’s body, with _her_ genetic material, with _her_ nutrients. They were made _by_ her, and carried on her legacy. 

 

Indeed, it was a team effort. It had also required Pearl’s seed to make the gemlings, but it was precisely in that unity and balance where Amethyst found her pride. It was in knowing that she was truly needed for this to work, and with the results right in front of her, no one could deny or skirt by her involvement. 

 

Speaking of involvement, Amethyst had no idea she could make something so pretty.

 

The first eggs she examines are the pearls. Amethyst’s pudgy fingers give a squeeze to the geodes with great care, not hard enough to crack them but with enough pressure to feel that they’re not hollow duds and that there are real, living masses inside of them. Amethyst was still exhausted from birth and it was only a matter of time before she would collapse with exhaustion again, but the confirmation of life manages to rejuvenate her, similar to the way a spent, stitched-up human mother would muster just enough strength to open her eyes and hold her screeching newborn in her arms after delivery.

 

Both of the pearls are small, but not completely lacking in heft, either. One is a modest, pale mauve colour, the shade cool and calm and neutral in its tone. Light greys and muted purples with a pearly sheen to them are wispily marbled throughout, each colour cleanly fading into the next like smoke. 

 

The shimmer and glitter that the first pearl has in the light projected by Pearl’s gemstone, however, is no match for her sister. _This_ one’s geode is a brilliant white, simply dazzling. It’s even paler than Pearl’s skin, entirely unpigmented, the purest that either of them have ever seen. Her shell is so bright that it hurts their eyes, and Pearl has to dim the light from her gemstone before she and Amethyst are temporarily blinded by the glare. When Amethyst gently — ever so gently — turns the pearl egg around, she finds herself greeted by thin stripes of sky blue and coral on the other side. 

 

How peculiar. How magnificent, too. Amethyst’s lips stretch into a wider grin when she glances over at Pearl and sees her quivering excitedly.

 

Amethyst's cautious touch skims over the tops of all the geodes until she reaches the larger amethyst eggs. Watching her, Pearl can’t help but put a hand on top of hers, taking in both the rough surface of Amethyst's skin and the smooth polish of the geodes where her longer fingertips extend past her mate's and can touch.

 

"And these two little gals,” Amethyst says under her breath, hushed as though she’d disturb the incubating gemlings if she were louder. 

 

_“Wow,”_ is all that Pearl can manage.

 

They’re huge. It’s not like Pearl didn’t expect it — she’s seen a quartz egg before — but gazing upon it in close proximity while knowing it’s her daughter is an entirely different story.

 

“If you kinda like, squish them together a little, I can fit both your boobs in one hand. But I can’t wrap all the way around _this_ thing even with two,” Amethyst says, astonished. 

 

Pearl was too busy gawking to complain about lewdness, nodding her head in dumbfounded agreement. It’s only by a small fraction, but the enormous amethyst they’re observing is larger than even her sibling of the same kind. Its base shade is a warm blue-lilac, but it has some white and a saturated, clashing purple marbled in.

 

Last but certainly not least is the other amethyst, with perhaps the strangest patterning of all. It was a spunky, proud and vibrant violet, splotched with amorphous blobs of darker purple and the occasional indigo glob, too. Said blotches were _then_ dotted with a light spray of white and teal flecks, as though someone had flicked a nearly-clean paintbrush over it and allowed the last remaining droplets to splatter there.

 

To Pearl, ‘gorgeous’ didn’t even _begin_ to properly capture the sight before her. It was bizarre, too, however. Her chin falls to her free palm, staring at her daughter’s egg. Amethyst can see the gears turning in Pearl’s head, knows she’s raking through a bunch of biology crap and stuff about genes withway too many big words that somehow came as easy as the alphabet to her and Peridot.

 

“Freckles,” Pearl blurts out with a snap of her fingers. “That’s it! Freckles. Birthmarks! She’ll have patches of darker skin on her face with white freckles on them. Almost like a — a mask?Oh, where on Earth did she get _freckles_ from?!” 

 

“Give it a rest, P,” Amethyst snorts. “She obviously got them from me. Ooh. _Freckles!_ You Are Not the Father!" She slaps her knee and guffaws, rolling in the assorted blankets and pillows of their nest, but laughter quickly turns to pain and she clutches her abdomen. "Ahahahao _ohhhooouch..."_

 

"Be careful!" Pearl gasps. She grabs the basket of eggs and carefully places them towards the back of the nest. She repositions the heat lamp Garnet purchased over them, checking the temperature with an infrared gun. Once she's certain it's correct, Pearl crawls over on all fours to sit next to Amethyst.

 

“...I suppose I’d ought to apologise now,” Pearl murmurs, looking to her nervously twitching fingers.

 

One of Amethyst’s eyes open in surprise. “Huh? For what?"

 

“For doubting you,” Pearl explains. “For demanding that _I_ be the one to carry the geodes rather than you from the very start. I thought that you couldn’t do it, and that you’d grow tired of pregnancy and all of its limitations within a few weeks…”

 

Amethyst is silent.

 

“…but you insisted that you could do it — do _this_. And that if it was your fate to be made in such a horrific manner, you wanted to make in a way that was wholesome and good. To give life, rather than to drain it! And so you did. Thus, proving me wrong."  Her hand wanders to Amethyst's now-empty yet still swollen belly, and she gently pats it, careful not to apply too much pressure. "You wanted to make amends with the world that you felt you had damaged, and now it's forgiven you. I can only hope that you do the same for yourself, now."

 

The nest fills with a thick silence.

 

And then there was a giggle.

 

Pearl perks up, her eyebrows furrowing. There was another one…and another one, spilling from Amethyst's lips like dozens of tiny bubbles escaping and floating to the water's surface. Pearl was offended. Was she being laughed at for her apology?

 

“Babe,” Amethyst chuckles, rubbing Pearl’s arm. “You’re so frickin’ adorable.”

 

“Are you even liste—“

 

“It’s okay,” Amethyst says, smiling lazily. “You were just looking out for me, P. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s a scary and difficult choice, and you didn’t want me to regret it. So what, we had a couple fights... Everyone does, yanno? But look at how it all turned out. We yelled a bit, yeah, but it’s not the fact that there’s problems that matters, ‘cause there _always_ are. It’s about how you discuss ‘em. And once it all blew over, we had a good, calm talk and made our decision. If you’re sorry, then _I’m_ sorry too. ‘Kay, P?”

 

Pearl nods, the knot in her stomach untied with the simple weaving of Amethyst’s fingers through hers.

 

“I’m gonna be real here,” Amethyst continues. “It wasn’t easy, the whole _pregnant_ thing. You already know that, ‘cause you were here every step of the way, but it was gross, and nasty, and painful, and I was moody and tired and snappy and excited and happy and horny and and angry and sometimes all of those at once. I don’t regret it at all, though. Not one bit! We made it through, and now we’ve got a fresh batch 'o' squeakers that are gonna hatch in a month. You know what the best part of this whole thing is, though, Pearly?”

 

“What’s that?”

 

"I think I finally figured out what love is. Don't get me wrong: when I was falling for your ass and I eventually sorted all the gushy parts out, I knew I was crushing hard for a fact. It's like, I knew I was in love, but I couldn't _explain_ what that feeling meant. And I still can't, but it's not 'cause I don't have it. It's 'cause _that's_ what love is. There's not one word for it, and it's different for everyone. You just know it when you feel it. And, like, when people have that same type of feeling, they drift to each other, and they're in love, and no one else can ever share that same _type_ of love, 'cause it's exclusive to them. Sometimes ya mess up and end up with the wrong people, or it turns out you never felt the same thing in the first place, and you weren't meant to be, and time separates you. Time is just one big test, really. And it tested us, and it tested us waaay before, and it's _always_ gonna test us -- but instead of splitting us up, it just proved that what we've got is real, 'cause we withstood it and made it through."

 

She runs a hand through her hair, eyes closing and then opening again.

 

"I guess I could just tell people that you give me butterflies or something if they wanna know what love feels like, but you know what _else_ does that? Rollercoasters. And I _love_ rollercoasters, but not the same way. It's better to say that, like, time and time again we've seen each other at our worst, but we never ever lose _that_ one feeling that brought us together in the first place. I can't say how it feels specifically 'cause it's only for us, but I feel it, and you feel it, and that's what counts. We share that together -- just you and me, P. Jeez," she mutters, rubbing the back of her neck. "That was super cheesy. Yuck. But it's...well, it's true, heh. I love you, Pearl. I really, really do. I couldn't be happier that we did this together. You remember when you found me in the Kindergarten?" Her embarrassed smile turns nostalgic and hopeful. "You gave me your hand and I took it and crawled outta my good ol' hole and from that day on, I was a Crystal Gem. Or at least I _thought_ I was just getting your hand. Turns out that hand was a package deal with the love of my life, huh? How was I supposed to know..."

 

Amethyst glances over at Pearl. Her lips wobble and her eyes fill with clear sheen of tears. She shakes, trying to hold it in, trying not to explode. But she does anyways, throwing herself at Amethyst. "O-oh, _Amethyst!_ " she shrieks, loud and shrill. "M-must you k-keep making me cry like this?! It's like I c-can't get a break--"

 

 _"Oof!"_ Amethyst wheezes, trying to hold onto her wriggling, bawling lover. "Woah! Okay, okay, I love you too, but I'm still _really_ sore, Pearl -- Pearl, _please!_ C'mon, I gave _birth_ earlier! You're supposed to be taking care of me! Down, girl!" Her hands fly to Pearl's back, patting and massaging and trying to comfort her and calm all the raging emotions down.

 

Pearl doesn't quite ease up, but she does pull back enough to give Amethyst a sloppy, messy kiss. It's wet, tastes of tears and lacks precision, but Amethyst doesn't care. That's what love's about: seeing someone at their worst and still feeling it. "I love you, Amethyst," Pearl chokes. "I love you so much. With all of my heart a-and -- _so_ much more. Don't _ever_ doubt that, okay?"

 

"Mhm," Amethyst hums, meeting her gaze. She tries to wipe some of Pearl's tears away with her thumb, but it's useless. A fresh wave replaces them, so Amethyst lets Pearl bury her face into her shoulder and soak her shirt. "I won't. Trust me. I love you too, P."

 

"I'm sorry," Pearl weeps into her shirt, her tears blossoming in the fabric. Her teeth chatter. "I should let you rest."

 

"No, no, don't worry. I know you're really happy about all this and, feeling, a lot of...feelings. Just go ahead and cry, okay?"

 

And maybe afterwards, when Pearl is all out of tears, Amethyst could get some damn sleep, and they'd wake up and show Steven and Garnet and the rest of the gang what they've made.

 

Or maybe not. Gems weren't organic -- perhaps their tear ducts never dried up.

 

Well, if they were anywhere _near_ as infinite as her affections for the pretty pearl in her arms, then they'd be here for a long, long time.


	11. current events

"Jeez, P.”

 

“I know,” Pearl replies dully, staring at the bubbled gem in her hands while Amethyst emerges from their shared nest and makes her way over. She should be used to this. She’s poofed hundreds of gems and shattered plenty more in the war. But each corrupted gem that she bubbles is another tick from the time bomb that is her psyche and it gets to her anyways. 

 

The sudden presence by her side and the hand patting her back is comforting, but it doesn't fix anything. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be so...dramatic. I—“

 

“’s fine, Pearl," Amethyst says. "That’s not what I meant. I just hate seein’ you all sad. Like, you managed to drag yourself  _that_  far away from the eggs for the first time in a few weeks and I wanted you to come back happy. But you’re allowed to get upset too, y’know?”  Her patting turns into a firmer massaging of Pearl’s lower back. A moment later, she adds: “Want me to bubble it?”

 

“No,” Pearl quickly responds. “I can do that. It’s just… It didn’t have to  _come_  to this. It didn’t have to be this way. Why did we have to fight? If only they could have seen our side… I feel guilty, Amethyst. Now she’ll never have the chance to be anything more than… _this_. She had friends and hopes a-and…oh, goodness, what if even  _I_  used to know her? Rose would have saved her with her shield if she had been there in time. So many chances, all wasted…”

 

“Can’t do anything about it," Amethyst says. She's seen and heard Pearl go through this loop over and over again, and there's never any answer besides accepting what's in the past and what's in the present. “Except letting her rest now. I’m sure she’s grateful that you’ve freed her. It can’t be fun being a monster, huh?”  Her hand slides further up Pearl's back, as far as it can reach. " It’s not your fault. I know it sucks, and you feel guilty, but you don’t gotta blame yourself. You tried. C’mon, babe. Send her off.”

 

A blue bubble surrounds the gem. It's quickly whisked away, and  Amethyst occupies Pearl's free hands with her own.

 

"Can I tell you something?" Pearl asks, looking away.

 

"What's up?"

 

"When you were pregnant, Steven and I had an...well, a little argument. He asked me if I would tell the gemlings about the war and my life on Homeworld and I...I said no." She claps her hands over her mouth. "It's very hard for me." Pearl swallows. "To revisit those parts of my life. You know I don't like thinking about the war, Amethyst. I can't. I just can't. Are you mad at me?"

 

"No," Amethyst says. "Wish you told me sooner, though."

 

"You were having your own troubles. I didn't want to burden you. I'm so sorry."

 

"This is dumb, Pearl. The gemlings aren't even hatched yet." She pats Pearl's back again. "Don't worry about crap like this right now, okay? Just...let's worry about this when it actually happens."

 

"You sound unsure."

 

"Yeah, this is kind of a toughie. Let's think on this, okay?"

 

"I don't want to."

 

Amethyst smirks. "Right."

 

* * *

 

A snowball lands smack in the middle of Pearl's face.

 

She scrapes the snow off with her fingers, spits the slush out, and glares at Amethyst, who dons a mischievous smile, one that’s suspicious in its forced innocence. Her sensitive ears pick up on a little noise and her head whips towards the temple. 

 

It's nothing. Of course not. She was just being paranoid. They'd left Lion with the eggs while she and Amethyst got some fresh air. Another snowball comes flying, this time right into her gemstone. Pearl glares at Amethyst like a damn serial killer, and the only thing stopping her from going ham is the sound of soft crunching.

 

“Hey guys!” Steven yells, accompanied by Garnet. “Wow, it’s good to see you two outside!”

 

“Hello, Steven,” Pearl says, her rage dissipating. Her smile is warm and radiating, a lovely contrast to the cold winter weather. “Yes, well, Amethyst has been feeling like herself again lately, so we decided to spend some time outdoors. Did you find what you were looking for at the store?”

 

“Yep!” He takes one of the big boxes from Garnet and walks over to Pearl, eager to show her all the ornaments and decorations they’d picked up, but he's stopped dead in his tracks as a snowball soars through the air and hits Garnet right in the chest.

 

Amethyst bounces on her heels, whistling an oh-so innocent tune.

 

Garnet hands Steven and Pearl the rest of their purchases, and cracks her knuckles.  “Oh,” she says, gathering up snow and patting a giant snowball together, “it’s on.”

 

She hurls it at Amethyst and Amethyst barely escapes with her life, scrambling away with all the speed she can muster and leaving flurries of snow in her wake.  “Peaaarl!” she screams at the top of her lungs. “Heeelp!”

 

“Get her, Garnet!”

 

* * *

 

 

“Sooo..." Amethyst says, sprawling out on the couch. "You guys up for some Pictionary? Steven's outside putting lights up with Lapis and Peridot, and I guess me and Pearl should probably get our minds off the gemlings."

 

"I'm growing impatient," Pearl whines, poking one of the pearl eggs with her index finger. "It's been a month. But does anybody blame me? I've never seen a pearl gemling before. In fact, I'm not sure _anybody_ has! Oh, this is just so exciting!" She brings her face close to the eggs and holds up a magnifying glass with one hand, examining the surface of each geode. Never in a million years did she think she'd be examining the geodes of her own spawn. What would Rose think, if she could see them?

 

"I’ll go first," Garnet says, grabbing the magenta marker. "We’ll use categories — this one is ‘Current Events’.”

 

“I’ll be good at this,” Pearl says, elbowing Amethyst with a sly smile. “I read the newspaper.”

 

"Wow, an intellectual."

 

Amethyst and Pearl wait patiently for Garnet to finish drawing…but when she does, all they can do is stare in confusion.

 

“Awww, it’s a hatching egg!”

 

“Yes,” Pearl says, “but…why…Garnet?”

 

Garnet says nothing. She simply smiles gently at her teammates and adjusts her shades. It’s then that a little ‘crack’ sounds and Pearl and Amethyst stiffen, hairs on their necks rising like a pair of startled cats. Their gazes turn to the basket of eggs nearby, and their eyes boggle with sheer delighted shock. Cracks have begun to spiderweb on the surface of one — and then another, the eggs wiggling with the gemlings making their way out — and Pearl starts screaming (in the good way) and then Amethyst starts screaming with her (in the good way) and their hands clamp over their cheeks before frantically patting one another for some kind of lifeline. They're about to pass out.

 

In the good way, of course.

 

They’re hatching.

 

* * *

 

Being a gemling is scary.

 

There’s a lot of threats out to get you from the very moment you poke your little head out of your shell. Bald eagles, for example…or the dishwasher, or the vacuum, or the furry pink giant that sniffs at you with its wet nose and tickles you with its whisker-thingies. 

 

You’re already ahead of human children in too many ways to count, but equal in other ways, as well — vulnerability being one of them. There’s more than one way to make a gem, and your method allowed you to emerge as a child and not an adult, free (for now) of the supposed lust for conquering other races pulsing in your veins. The need for safety and who or whatever is going to provide that safety is all you really care about. Not even an ant is free from the drive to survive, right?

 

Fortunately, you don’t have to look far. Your guardians — parents… _“mom”?_ — are the first to greet you. They both crawl on all fours for a good look, and the tall one (you’ve dubbed this one Mother #1) reaches out with a careful hand to move a piece of stuck shell aside so you can more fully emerge. She doesn’t pass on the opportunity to stroke your cheek, babbling something about how she can't believe this is real. The short one, whom has been dubbed Mother #2, has her face split into an unparalleled smile, and she greets you with a loud  _“Happy birthday, kiddo!”_

 

Collectively, they are known as The Moms. The Moms are so excited by your arrival that they start dancing and tossing each other up and down and cheering. Mother #2’s form changes into some kind of creature with whisker-thingies that claps and bounces a ball on its nose. Mother #1 is very displeased by this and begins to squawk at her. You can make those noises, too, so you open your mouth wide and show off your powerful lungs. This instantly gets their attention and they walk back over to you. You note this tactic as a great way to get what you want.

 

The Moms have a friend. Maybe she’s a sister, like how you have three sisters. It doesn’t matter because you like her no matter what. She _had_ a big shiny thing on her face, but she got rid of it and looks at you with her cool three eyes and her nice smile. She’s known as _‘Aunt’_.

 

You feel safe. When Mother #1 pulls you out and lifts you up, something wet is coming out of her eyes, but she seems really happy. And when she gives you a hug and holds you to her chest and Mother #2 and Aunt join in, you like it. You like them. Maybe even love them.

 

* * *

  

“And _this_ one is _Mauveine_ ,” Pearl gushes, holding up another one of her beloved daughters for Peridot to see. “We’ve been calling her _Mauve_.”

 

Mauve is, like her name, mauve. A pretty shade, too, pale and neutral just like the egg from which she emerged. She dons the trademark nose of a pearl, and an ovular gemstone on her forehead. Her hair was shaggy and shoulder-length, the same off-white shade as Amethyst’s. The way it parts covers only her left eye, but she’s insistent on ruffling it up so that it covers both instead, like the world is too intense for her to see straight on.  Perhaps that only adds to the beauty of her eyes. They’re a stunning ice blue, a fierce contrast to her modest skin tone, and the first time she lifted her hair to take a peek and showed them off it took her parents’ breath away.

 

Peridot reaches a finger out to do…something. She opts to boop the little pearl on her nose, and Mauve bites her finger with those sharp teeth of hers, making her jolt and retract her hand. 

 

“Ow!” She rubs her finger, glaring at Pearl.

 

“Well,” Pearl reasons, waving her hand dismissively. “She does that to everyone! See?” She holds her hand up to Mauve’s face, rubbing and poking at her nose. “Bite,” she whispers. “Bite it, Mauve.” T he bite never comes, and Mauve just stares at her mother in great confusion. Guilty as charged, Pearl laughs awkwardly, trying to calm the tension.  “Oh, _so_ she has _favourites!_ So what?! The other ones like you.”

 

Demonstratively, Amethyst swaps gemlings with her mate, and with an encouraging smile, Pearl holds the new one out for Peridot to hold. Peridot resists at first, but Pearl urges her until she opens her arms and takes the baby gem. This one was known as 'Ivory'.  Well, her skin wasn't ivory. It’s was a pure, snowy white, but Pearl insisted it was the prettiest name for her. She _also_ insisted that _“No, Amethyst, we are **not** naming her ‘White Diamond’!”_

 

She looks remarkably like Pearl, what with her nose and skin and her thin, lean build. The only differences Peridot can spot are that her eyes are Amethyst’s indigo, her coral hair is a bit messier — the way it was when Pearl was younger — and her fringe covers her entire forehead, likely due to the fact that her gemstone is on her sternum instead.

 

Peridot’s grasp is awkward and devoid of affection, holding the gemling under her armpits like she’s just found a lost puppy. It’s not a mother’s grasp, or even a babysitter’s grasp, and she can't understand what's so sweet about it all, merely expecting the mini-Pearl to reach out and slap her or something. She can admit, however, that she’s cute. Adorable. Innocent, really, with her big questioning eyes and tiny paws that reach out to touch Peridot’s cheek curiously instead of… _slapping_ her.

 

Peridot’s heart melts, and Ivory chirps.

 

“Awww, she likes you!” Steven cries, marching over with Lapis and the third gemling in his arms. She’s a full-sized amethyst, lovingly dubbed 'Lilac' — and like any other full sized amethyst, she’s hefty and robust. Still tiny enough to fit right into Steven’s arms, thankfully. Her skin, like her namesake, is bluish lilac, and her hair is a wild, white and fluffy mess, splaying everywhere and tumbling over her shoulders. Her eyes were a rich shade of indigo, and her gemstone was on her chest.

 

Peridot catches Lapis’s smile and her face burns hotly. She immediately shoves the squirmy gemling back into Amethyst's arms.

 

“What about that one?” Lapis asks, pointing to the one remaining unhatched egg. 

 

Amethyst immediately looks uncomfortable and turns away, rubbing her arm. 

 

“That's Violet," Pearl says, holding two roving bundles of joy in her arms. "She hasn't hatched yet."

 

“Clearly _,_ ” Peridot says. “Why not?”

 

“Amethyst and I discussed that this — a gemling hatching late — might be a possibility. “I would assume it’s due to her own prolonged incubation affecting her reproductive capabilities.” She maneuvers the two gemlings in her arms so that she can pat Amethyst’s head, a sign for _'we'll talk later'_.

 

Garnet isn’t as subtle. “Amethyst,” she says.“There’s no need to worry yet.”

 

Amethyst lifts her head, but says nothing.

 

* * *

 

Peridot still has a lot to learn about her teammates.

 

That’s nothing new to her, but watching them all interact with the gemlings just reinforces the idea. The radiating happiness is intoxicating and irresistible, a spreading fog, so sweet it’s almost sickening.

 

Pearl and Amethyst are absolutely _infatuated_ with their children. They’re in love, and it's hard to blame them. Peridot's never seen the children of an amethyst and a pearl, but they're flawless, despite how she's much too proud to admit it. After all, pearls weren't supposed to breed or have mates. They were meant to be handpicked and customised for their owners, not _born_ with their outcomes decided by something as unpredictable as genes. Unfortunately -- fortunately? -- Homeworld hadn't yet figured out how to remove the whole reproductive aspect in its entirely, leaving pearls nice and fertile and producing such pretty babies like these ones once they got off their suppressants.  Seriously, the clothes that Pearl made for them are beyond precious, even if she has to do some re-sizing. The ripped up leggings makes them look like such punks.

 

Steven, Pearl, Amethyst and Garnet had been subjecting the gemlings to a series of what could only be described as ‘trials’. The first of these involved flowing water from a sink. The second that Lilac dipped her tiny, tiny foot in under the stream, she shrieked and ran back into Amethyst’s arms while Mauve and Ivory gave a series of pleased chirps and opted to enjoy the water, splashing it all over their faces. Mauve tried leaning in to dunk her head under the water, but ended up falling in with an angry squeak, holding her arms out so her sister could try to save her.  Pearl would be the one to scoop her out and dry her off, in the end. The rest of the crew ‘awww’d’ and laughed like they had just seen the baby otters at the zoo as Pearl mussed a towel over her vocal daughter’s head, making her hair fluffy and wild.

 

The second of these trials involved artwork (if you could call it that). Steven had placed paper and pencils in front of the gemlings. For a moment they simply sat there, but when they got going, the outcomes were quite the hoot. Ivory tore most of the paper up and played with the shreds, Mauve chewed one of the pencils and Lilac — well, once she had gotten the hang of how this all worked, she drew a picture. It was just a bunch of scribbles and she held the pencil with both hands, but Pearl started crying over it and how beautiful it was anyways, promptly sticking it to the fridge with a magnet. Garnet shed a single proud tear, shades off.

 

At one point, Mauve had even learned how to kiss and gave Pearl a wet one right on her cheek. They all started whooping and cheering like a bunch of drunkards at the Super Bowl, accompanied by the delightful celebratory sound of Steven banging pots and pans. Peridot and Lapis simply stared, observing them as they went about their strange cult rituals. Amethyst took turns holding each of them high up in the air like that movie about the lions and the kings that Steven always went off about.

 

It had soon become apparent that the gemlings enjoyed hoarding, as well. Whether this was an Amethyst thing or a baby thing remained unknown, but the clever little buggers had already snatched up various things around the temple and brought them back to their nest, hiding them under the blankets and in various corners. Pearl and Amethyst had to extract them from the Christmas tree before they toppled the thing over, but Garnet had let them each have an ornament whileSteven brought down junk from his room for them. The gemlings had chirped with such a delight one would think he'd brought them a stash of gold, grabbing various toys in their mouths and scampering back to go stash them.  They’d soon get distracted by the intriguing folds of the cloth in their nest, though, and occupy themselves by diving in and under it in an absolutely adorable display. Pearl and Amethyst giggled and joined them, tickling their tiny bellies and showering them in motherly kisses.

 

Peridot can’t lie to herself any longer: they’re not as bad as she thought. She wouldn't mind watching them.

 

* * *

  

“Pearl?” 

 

“Yes?” Pearl turns to look at Amethyst. Her head rests on her belly. Lilac, who was curled up on Amethyst’s chest, reaches out and grabs Pearl’s nose. 

 

“Haha, nice!” Amethyst says. "I like doing that to her, too.”

 

Pearl laughs. "What is it about the nose?" she asks, lifting Lilac and giving her a kiss to the forehead before settling her into the basket with her sisters so she can rest. It turns out they all like sleeping, and they've fit themselves into one cozy, yawning pile. It's easily the cutest thing she's ever seen. Her spirits were absolutely soaring. “And what did you want to tell me, Amethyst?”

 

“I love them,” Amethyst blurts out. It comes out louder than intended due to excitement and the gemlings stir. She hushes herself, voice cracking and straining under the pressure of trying to keep quiet. “Like, a lot. Like…really _really_ _really_ love them. And you. They're perfect. You're perfect. I'm so happy.” 

 

Pearl smiles giddily and pulls herself up further so she’s lying on Amethyst’s chest instead, shoving her face into the crook of her neck. This was home. This was family. She felt warm and welcome and complete, and she never wanted to leave.  “I love you all so much, too."

"Love you more!"

 

"Oh, stop it. We are _not_ starting that."


	12. thunder

It gets sweeter every time Amethyst wakes up knowing that this whole thing isn’t a dream.

 

Conception: a tricky thing, after all. Before, she thought that it was as simple as sticking it in once, jizzing and then _boom_ ** _—_** pregnant. It was that easy, right? That was why so many human teenagers got mistakenly knocked up after their first times. That. Easy.

 

Yeah, it wasn’t actually that simple.

 

Gems conceived during oestrus. Once mature enough, all gems began to undergo heats (besides fusions, though their respective ‘building blocks’ still did and often struggled to stay fused). During this period seed was potent, wombs were fertile, mates were horny and gemlings were made.  The frequency of heat periods depended entirely on the gem, to the dismay of many couples who had to wait another hundred years to get cooking. It could be as frequent as every month, or as scarce as every 5000 years, resulting in huge and sporadic increases in population when all those gems who’d waited millennia finally had their chance and later popped out enormous clutches all at once. 

 

Heat suppressants were given to pearls to effectively sterilise them. According to Pearl, mateless gems whose heats did nothing but make every stranger within a mile radius drool over them and cause mass chaos used to be supplied heat suppressants as well. Sure, they could just go the orgy route, but they were all expected to have a bit more control than that. Having babies with a gem that wasn’t your mate was terribly shunned, equivalent to the human taboo of children born out of wedlock or teenage pregnancy. No Homeworld gem wanted to be punished like that, especially when the only basis for their worth was how well they could follow those exact rules and fulfill their assigned roles.  Such suppressants were also given to gems who were assigned to contribute to the populace by forming gems via means other than reproduction, like Kindergarteners. 

 

Aside from pearls, Homeworld had now largely stopped supplying suppressants in favour of heat _inducers_ to try and compensate for the population drop after the war. Though she wasn’t sure of the reasoning behind it until recently, Peridot had confirmed this by recalling that she had only ever heard of pearls being given suppressants. Pearls were specifically designed and handpicked for and by their masters; the appearance and potential of a baby pearl was simply too unpredictable or botched. Useless, by their standards.

 

There was one thing Homeworld had blown out of the park, though: the ability for both individual cycles within a pair of mates to sync up and start simultaneously occurring. This was, naturally, so the two could more easily breed with one another. Both Amethyst and Pearl had their doubts, but miraculously, it actually worked. P earl’s heat came every six months. Amethyst’s came every two months. They’d blended together and now both of them went into heat every three months, for five to seven days. It was damn near flawless, too — every so often one of them would be a day or so late, but nothing major.

 

What a pain in the ass it was, really.

 

Well, sort of. Heat ebbed and flowed and varied in intensity, sometimes depending on the day, but the one thing it’d never be was easy _._

 

Besides all the raging arousal, the personality was affected, especially in the final few days leading up to it. Gems became lively and chipper, antsy and overflowing with energy. Like the kid who wouldn’t stop bouncing his leg in class, they’d grow obsessed with presenting themselves to their mate, displaying their willingness to breed and their capabilities as a mother, doing everything that they could to make themselves desirable. They’d please each other in any way they could: Amethyst had cleaned the kitchen spotless one time, while Pearl would always bring back piles of random objects for Amethyst to stash in her room and cook her meals. 

 

It was entertaining to watch, how they’d crawl in each other’s laps at every available opportunity and offer to do the most simple of things for them like pulling up their socks. Despite the happy go-lucky jitters that the hormonal excitement gave them, it often disabled them from being able to relax in any way, too. Pearl in particular had it bad. She always got the itchy, tingling-hot skin that many gems experienced in heat.  Then there were the pheromones — oh, _buckets_ of them rolling off their forms in the most delicious of waves. Just like how their cycles merge, the pheromones of mates also become more specifically geared and tempting for one another. Before they were a pair Amethyst had always thought that Pearl’s musk was the most delicious out of them all — but now? Just thinking about the way that sweet, musty fog of hers flooded a room and her brain was enough to make Amethyst’s nostrils twitch and her mouth water.

 

Finally, the raging arousal itself. What a sexual frenzy heat could send a gem into, one strong enough to have even a prim little darling like Pearl dripping and trying to fuck Amethyst at any opportunity she could. The constant flush, the tender, burning flesh, the swollen vulva, the gushing lubrication — thick and sticky to ‘trap’ and ensure that seed would stay in the canal — and the throbbing, pounding clit and aching opening. Oh, God. It was like walking around with an itch that couldn’t be scratched all day long. Sex provided relief, yes, but only temporarily before it revved up again.

 

But Pearl and Amethyst were used to this. They’d learned how to control it the best they could after centuries of experience. They’d put on a pad _(bleh)_ , try to neutralise and mask their scents…and then they’d power through it like big girls.

 

(Until night. Then they fucked for hours.)

 

It was just a nuisance. They didn’t _dread_ it, but oft forgot about it until it arrived once more at the most inconvenient of times. How frustrating. Pearl hated feeling indecent and exposed in public, and she hated the lack of control over her own form. 

 

Naturally, when they were trying to conceive and actually needed the heat the most, did it start posing problems.

 

Just like a human menstrual cycle, stress and other factors could cause heat cycles to be skipped or delayed or last too long or too early…or a combination of everything, flip-flopping the entire schedule upside down. Pearl and Amethyst experienced this firsthand, when they’d been having sex multiple times per day for the whole week during each heat, when Pearl made certain to finish deep inside of Amethyst every time and yet no gemlings had been produced.  It resulted in quite a bit of worry, of feelings of inferiority and being broken and that they were doing this whole thing wrong. They began blaming it on bizarre things like time of day, minutes until climax, Pearl being mean to Greg, pollen, the speed of her thrusts, how comfy the bed (or kitchen counter) was… a nd then, when Pearl suggested that perhaps the suppressants she was given on Homeworld had rendered her entirely null (even though they weren’t _supposed_ to and that’s why they had to keep being taken regularly and she hadn’t taken them in _thousands of years_ and oh, Amethyst, I wish we knew what we were doing _wrong—)_ and broke down, Amethyst nearly called the whole baby thing off out of fear that she was right. She couldn’t bear to face that if it was true.

 

It wasn’t the fact that they were having tons of sex in itself that Amethyst disliked. Not at all, no: the face Pearl had made when Amethyst sat atop her and enveloped her in her wet heat for the first time…that was to fucking die for. It was that they’d grown so desperate to make  _something_ that they’d stopped fucking with emotions. Without intimacy, they forgot about pleasing each other first and foremost, and sex became numb and dull.

 

The final straw -- besides how difficult it was to keep this whole thing a secret from Steven, who knew something was going on but not what -- was when they began missing heats. They couldn’t take one more thing on the pile of Stuff to Worry About and dissolved into a massive argument. Though, when she thinks about it now, Amethyst knows it was less of an argument and more of an eruption of emotion; a mutual expression of frustration and helplessness that they’d been feeling for months. They weren’t fighting with each other, they were just fighting the same exact battle with themselves. 

 

They’d pulled each other back into reality and reconciled, agreeing to relax and calm down and just keep _trying_ instead of _thinking_ ** _._**

 

Well. That worked. She doesn’t know if it was their improved moods or just the position, but an excruciating year and a half later, Amethyst was pregnant.

 

…And that’s how they’ve ended up here, in a reality that used to be a fantasy, with a dozing Pearl cuddling her equally sleepy daughters, one long arm draped around all three and clutching them to her chest. She looks angelic, damn near ethereal, even with the pooling droplet of drool and her mussed hair. With just a single look at her, Amethyst is reminded of all the reasons why she loves Pearl.  She leans in to press her full lips against Pearl’s gemstone, relishing the way it tingles with warmth under her mouth. Trailing her light kisses down her face, Amethyst gradually slides back into her position behind Pearl, pecking down her nape to the crook of her neck and burying her face in. She’s greedy, though, overzealous, rousing her partner with her nosy affections.

 

Pearl drowsily groans, pushing Amethyst away with a hand on her face. “Please,” she slurs. “Amethyst.” She buries her nose back into Lilac’s pale hair and the gemlings palm at their mother’s face to pull her in, to which she sighs and nuzzles them in relaxed compliance.

 

“Hmph,” Amethyst mumbles. “Weird that the kids get lovings, but not me.”

 

Pearl lifts her head and looks over her shoulder, lips poised for a kiss. Amethyst cups her face and leans in at the same time she pulls Pearl to her, bringing their mouths together, but Pearl is so sleepy and lazy that she barely moves her lips. Amethyst wrenches away from her.

 

“Pearl!” she shrieks, as quietly as she possibly can as to not wake anyone up. “You’re not even trying! It’s like kissing a dead fish.”

 

Pearl snickers mischievously, tossing her head back onto her pillow. A single corner of Amethyst’s mouth lifts in an amused smile.

 

A hand comes to Pearl’s shoulder, rubbing gingerly. "You're sleeping," Amethyst says.

 

"I am."

 

"No nightmares?"

 

"No nightmares," Pearl echoes. "Can you believe it?"

 

"Proud of you, Pearl." And, God, she really is. If this is an indication that the nights of waking up to Pearl sobbing into her chest or waking up soaked in sweat, then it's fucking welcome. "Something make you sleepy?"

 

“Eight,” Pearl murmurs. A snowy hand — Ivory’s, Amethyst can recognise from the colour — reaches out from somewhere in the pile, buried underneath Lilac for security. It rests on Pearl’s lips, to which she kisses the miniature fingers and speaks against them. “That’s how many times I’ve just _barely_ caught the living room lamp in midair before it crashed to the floor. They’re _obsessed_ with tipping the thing over, Amethyst.”

 

“At least they're determined, right?" Amethyst laughs, snuggling into Pearl and relishing the slight breaths and little twitches coming from the gemlings. 

 

...And the silence from the one that still hasn't hatched. Not her morning, either. Damn it. Amethyst's chest tightens with guilt, and she knows she has to get up and do something proactive to take her mind off of it. She could sit and stare at Violet's geode all day long until she hatched if she didn't assume any responsibilities.

 

_ (Don't take too long. Please. Or else I might go fucking insane.) _

 

 

* * *

 

 

“My goodness,” Pearl coos, wiping away Mauveine’s thick, globby tears. Her sisters are crowded around her in concern. “You don’t have to be so afraid of the thunder.”

 

_ (Such a pearl. So aware of our small presences, so unaware of how hugely capable we really are...) _

 

“Yeah!” Amethyst says, patting Mauve on the head. “It’s just water. You _love_ water! Pearls love water, right?" 

 

"We do."

 

" It’s like...a bath from the sky.” 

 

Mauve perks up recognising the word ‘bath’ — until another round of thunder claps again and she screeches, diving back under the blanket.

 

Amethyst laughs, lifting the cloth just enough to reveal her.  “You remind me of your mom sometimes, kiddo,” she purrs. “Always overthinking stuff.”

 

It’s not like they’re blaming her, though. It was a gnarly storm, wind howling and shadows cast by the angry, dark clouds overhead. Torrents of rain pummeled against the exterior of the temple — hail, too — and the thunder was powerful enough to rumble the house. Scary stuff for a newcomer to this world.

 

It was fascinating, Pearl thought, the way that a storm could bring out the gemlings’ personalities. Ivory was curious and, while she seemed to have a bit of Pearl’s caution in her, reckless and daring. She was led by her heart and tremendously brave, calling her sisters over so they could all try to topple the living room lamp, unafraid of climbing the stairs or jumping off the couch. Not to mention, she was the biggest hoarder and shredder of them all, and had recently stolen the entire stack of napkins and stashed them to rip up later. Pearl swore she was still finding paper bits in her hair after vacuuming for hours.  This little pearl was fearless of the storm, instead staring anxiously at the windows in anticipation for the next burst of thunder so that the house would shake and she could raptor-shriek in excitement. She’d already tried a number of times to bust out, too, though she never made it quite far enough. Last time she had gotten to the windowsills…before promptly falling off, and taking the blinds with her.

 

In contrast to Ivory’s leadership, there was Lilac, as gentle and calming as her namesake. She squeaked the second least out of all of them, but wasn’t exactly shy, still greeting all the gems and people she’d met happily. She wasn’t a pushover, no, getting snappy and shoving away anyone who dared disturb her evening siesta, but she wasn’t at all a bully like her size might suggest. She was more like a big, loving shaggy dog or cat, following along and letting her siblings rest atop her and crawl all over her as much as they pleased. Like Mauveine, she enjoyed observing and ‘studying’ things, and had taken a particular interest in the seashells, flowers and bugs that Steven would bring her. Pearl thought that perhaps she’d grow to like biology and nature. 

 

Indeed,  Lilac was already a little stargazer. She loved the clouds, watching the sun and moon rise and set, or staring at all the little specks that dotted the sky at night. A storm was nothing more to her than yet another fascinating aspect about the big blue thing above her head. When Amethyst lifted her up to the window, her tiny hands had darted out and clapped against the glass, trying to ‘catch’ each hammering water droplet and drawing scribbles with her finger.

 

And then there was Mauve. Sweet, timid, nervous little Mauve. All she ever wanted was to be with her family, carried and coddled. She’d do something she was afraid of if she was pushed to, but couldn’t give herself that push on her own. Her parents theorised that she wasn’t so snappy to unfamiliar individuals out of malice — she was just a _baby_ , for heaven’s sake — but out of defense. After all, Mauve was just as intelligent as her gemstone’s location might suggest. It wasn’t like they expected too much from a gemling this young, but she had already begun to solve simple puzzles and memorise locations.

 

She hadn’t learned about the water cycle, though, as was clear by her rattling and shivering and chattering teeth every time a particularly large chunk of hail struck the house or thunder boomed. It made Pearl’s heart ache. She'd seen so many shivering, traumatised pearls in her lifetime, many of them friends, and it broke her heart to imagine that one of them might be her own daughter. She knew how it was. The senses were torture, and you got screamed and yelled at and

 

_ (Let. It. Go.) _

 

Pearl quickly takes a mental pillow to her past and suffocates it until it stops kicking.

 

The door opens and Mauve ducks in fear at the sound of the exposed, pouring rain.  “Man, good thing we brought an umbrella!” Steven shouts above the downpour.

 

“Future vision,”Garnet says while they both walk in, door slamming shut behind them from the wind. The gemlings flinch at the sound.

 

“Hey! Hey! Did you guys get anything for me?!” Amethyst asks, before being tossed an empty paper bag from Garnet.  “Sweet! Paper!” She shoves the whole thing into her mouth and chews it. Pearl is disgusted, but watches anyways. She always wants to see if Amethyst can actually ingest whatever object she's taken a liking to. It's quite a show, and so far, she's never been disappointed by anything except Amethyst's impulse control.

 

“ _Hellooo_ , gemlings!” Steven exclaims. To his delight, they all swarm towards him and sniff at his skin. He hands Lilac a wet pebble and Ivory tries to steal it from her, making Lilac squawk in angry response. 

 

“Where’s Mauve?” Garnet asks. Pearl lifts a pillow to reveal her hiding place, and Garnet lifts the quivering hatchling into her arms.

 

“She’s been afraid of this storm ever since it started,” Pearl sighs.

 

“ _Awww_ ,” Steven coos, laying a fond hand on Mauve’s shaggy white hair. “That’s okay. New stuff is really scary, huh? It’s okay to be afraid of it! But if you look all around you, you’ve got tons of people who love you and will protect you! You’ve got two awesome moms, and a great aunt, and really cute siblings, and me! Your, uh…big brother? So hang in there, Mauve!” He ruffles her short locks up. “One day you’re gonna be splashing around in puddles with me, I know it!”

 

While he and the other gems laugh, Mauve lifts her fringe out of her icy blue eyes to _stare_ at him, perplexed by this odd creature that smells so much like her parents. And then she does something — and Pearl gasps, and Amethyst gasps and Garnet gasps and Steven gasps and Ivory and Lilac are busy wrestling and Steven’s hands clap over his cheeks because Mauve is smiling ** _,_** a tiny, innocent smile. Her first.

 

“She’s smiiiliiiing!” Steven cries out, stars in his eyes. “She loves me—!!”

 

The thunder claps again, but Mauve doesn’t panic under the sudden shower of affection.


	13. thought and sentiment

“Yo. Can you hear me in there?”

Amethyst runs a fingertip along the egg’s surface. Warm. Glossy. Thrumming with life and energy. She carefully pinches the vibrant geode between two fingers and turns it around. So beautiful. How will she look?

“You’re really making us wait, huh? I’m so excited for you to pop outta there and meet us! Me, your other mom — yeah, you’ve got two— your awesome sisters, Steven, Garnet…even those dorks at the barn.”

Amethyst swallows.

“We all love you so much, y’know? Yeah, yeah, we haven’t metyou yet and all, but who cares! You were in mah big belly for months an’ months and maaan, you were having a hell of a partyin there! So I sorta know you already.”

She laughs and pats her stomach like she’s still carrying, but her touch comes back empty instead. She feels hollow and lifeless. Her face begins to ache with the pressure of holding tears down, and her stomach lurches. She weakly swallows it all back down.

“Um…I just wanted to tell you something. You might, uh, look a little different. Like me. Aaand, you’re probably gonna wanna know why Lilac looks so different from you ’n’ me. Well, it’s just ‘cause you were made that way! It’s not wrong, it’s how you are, and you’re super special and it’s all cool. Okay? You don’t have to be anything except you **.** We love you no matter what ‘you’ ends up meaning, alright?”

She stares at her unhatched daughter —…before groaning, nestling Violet back into the blankets of her basket and dragging a hand down her face as she rolls over onto her stomach. The fuck is she doing? Talking — talking to an egg. Her daughter’s egg, but it’s an egg nonetheless.  She hears a soft padding sound, and then a familiar weight sits atop her form. The weight pushes her down flat, her breasts squishing against the floor, and only from experience can Amethyst envision the way that  _her_ spine is arching while  _she_  lowers herself,  _her_ belly to Amethyst’s back, waif-like hands to broad shoulders, lips finding her temple, her nape—

“Not fair, P,” Amethyst complains. “I can’t get up.” She can just imagine the smug look on Pearl’s face, rubbing it all in: how, just like every other quartz soldier that had come for Pearl’s life, it doesn’t matter how strong Amethyst is if she lacks the smarts to even catch her.

And then there’s that voice, that fucking voice, right to her ear, making her skin rise with prickles: “I haven’t done anything wrong,” Pearl purrs, nibbling up the shell of her ear. “You left yourself in a vulnerable position. It’s basic combat, Amethyst.”

Amethyst manages to work herself on her back. Pearl stays atop her, straddling her hips instead.

“This looks familiar,” Pearl says, glancing to the unhatched egg, and then back to its moping mother.

“Why does it feel like I’ve been waiting a gazillion years? It’s been, like, a few weeks.”

In the split second that it takes for Amethyst’s gaze to travel up Pearl’s torso and to her eyes, she curses herself for being so damn easily turned on. Pearl on top of her like this — all she can think about is how easily Pearl rides her, the way she starts off effortlessly solo, and then her thighs start to wobble with pleasure and she struggles for balance. She’s so weightless that all it takes is Amethyst’s palms cupping her hips, fingers splaying across her rear and indenting her skin as she lifts just slightly, a little bounce, lily-white ass slapping against Amethyst’s pelvis on the rebounding stroke. Pearl’s glazed-over eyes,her teeth against her lower lip, the way that she tips her chin back in pleasure and gasps so demurely Amethyst could suck the breath from her.

“Because you love her,” the aphrodisiac of Pearl’s voice sings, slicing through Amethyst’s thoughts.

“We’re gems,” Amethyst says.

“Yes, and…?”

“Weeks **,** P. That’s like secondsto us. I can’t even remember if a week is four days or five days long!”

“Seven…” Pearl whispers.

“Huh?”

“When you’re temporarily separated from what you love,” Pearl says, “it’s even better than it was before when it eventually returns to you. It’s always worth it in the end.”

“That’s not fair! You should be entitled to what you love, not forced to wait for it to learn some dumb message. I mean, the only reason people wait is because they made it that way for themselves. Like, why d’you gotta wait for some holiday when you can just get presents now ‘cause you feel like it?”

Pearl shakes her head. Such flawed logic. Incredibly so. Where does she even begin with this? It’s like saying Amethyst could have skipped pregnancy and birthed their children from day one just because she wanted them so badly. But Amethyst isn’t thinking — she’s feeling. Her heart speaks, not her mind. Her full lower lip pushes out in a pout, and Pearl wants to kiss it.

 

“I’ve waited infinity years for some crap like it was nothing! Like…when you poof. …Ah, jeez,” she groans, fisting her hands in her hair and pulling. “Never mind! Bad example. I’m no good at that either.”

“What’s that?”

“Nothing!”

“Tell me,” Pearl says.

“Just—…” Amethyst groans, defeated. “Last time you poofed, it was real hard for me. You took like three hundred fucking years to come back and…” God, this is so embarrassing. “Well, uh—“

 

* * *

_ “Um… Hey, P.” _

__

_ Amethyst stares intently at the oversized pearl in its basket. Her palms are planted firmly on the end table; her chin rests in between them. _

__

_ “You gonna come back soon?” _

__

_ She looks over her shoulder, making sure that nobody’s eavesdropping. _

__

_ “I’m sure you’re thinking I’m having a blast without you. And…okay, kind of. I can eat as much junk food as I want without anyone yelling at me! But that’s the problem **.** I can’t believe I’m saying this, but…I kinda missyour nagging. That Holo-Pearl’s just not the same. Doesn’t do that funny gasp you do, or yell my name when I eat garbage or…well, ’s not you.” _

__

_ Amethyst takes a deep breath. _

__

_ “I’m — glad you’re my friend, you know. You’re smart, and nerdy and lame but…kinda cool. And…I’m sorry I cheered for the Holo-Pearl.” She flinches, imagining Pearl never coming back, if those were the last words that she ever heard from Amethyst. “I was secretly rooting for you the whole time! Like, that’s the joke, y’know?” Her eyes squeeze shut. “I miss you. There! I said it. I was a jerk and I’m sorry, okay? So you can come back now.” _

 

_ Her one visible eye opens. The white glow of a reforming Pearl doesn’t come. Amethyst sighs, her head drooping.  _

 

_ (Imagine if you weren’t a chicken. Imagine if you could say it to her when she can actually hear you.) _

__

_ “Um, I’m gonna go now,” Amethyst mumbles. “But one more thing, Pearl. I always thought you were pretty. Like,  **pretty** pretty. Sorry for being too much of a coward to say nice things to your face. I’m kind of a jerk, huh? …Yeah. Sorry and…bye. And, uh…come back soon so the creepy fake Pearl can stop staring at me. I’ll be in my room eating car tires.” _

__

_ She darts away, sparing one final glance before disappearing. _

 

* * *

 

“It seems you’ve quite the penchant for talking to objects that can’t hear you, don’t you, Amethyst?”

“Urgh, don’t tease me. I can’t believe I showed you that embarrassing shit.”

“I’m glad you did.”

Pearl crawls off of Amethyst and over to their nest. Amethyst swears she could eat the sights up forever: how Pearl tenderly kisses the gemlings’ cheeks, how she kneads and burrows into the fluffy blankets to ensure they’re soft enough, how she scoops her young into the basket of her palms and adjusts them so they’re comfortable. She loves the way Pearl giggles and hums so forgivingly when an irritated Mauve reaches out and shoves her face away —  _“stop it, Mother,”_  Amethyst imagines — how, so animalistic, as mated gems oft are, Pearl grabs a blanket in her mouth and not her hands and drapes it over her sired offspring. Perfect. Not flawless, but perfect, because to Amethyst one that is flawed is one that is perfect. Perfect eyes, perfect skin, perfect legs, perfect hips — perfect mate.  _Her_ mate. Someone to call her own.

“Do you see how waiting for something you love might feel like an eternity?”

“…Yeah. Still don’t like it, though.”

Pearl crawls back over to Amethyst — now that the kids are happy, she has to take care of the mate, of course — and lies on top her, tucking her head under her chin. Talking about waiting has her mind drifting to Rose and Mars and Lopsy and the familiar but unwelcome shroud of rumination and the past settles over her like a thick cloak. She knew all about waiting, much more than Amethyst did…and her examples would be a hindrance, not a help, as they’d ended in loneliness and heartbreak. They disproved her point entirely. She'd held out for Rose for thousands of years, but Rose had chosen somebody else in the end.

 

_ (And so did I, damn it. That's a happy ending.) _

 

Pearl had shared a bit about her old friends with Amethyst. She had once idly mentioned the fact that they had originally intended to come to Earth with her, but never showed, and left it at that. It was too hard to talk about, and Pearl had no idea where to even begin with tangling apart the giant web of emotions surrounding that incident. She didn't know why they hadn't joined her. It could have been a mistake, or it could have been a deliberate act of betrayal -- heinous, pearls never betrayed each other -- and more often than not, this was the topic that her brain picked at in the early hours of the morning. The act of not knowing was simply maddening. As more time passed and Pearl occupied herself with taking care of her gemlings, however, the thoughts had begun to drift into the background, and she had her mental fingers crossed that Amethyst (or anybody) wouldn’t bring it back up. It could simply drift off and die.

 

She finds herself thinking of her conversation with Garnet, the way she had warned her that she would have to come to agreeable terms with her own past eventually and tell the gemlings and Steven, on top of it. That wasn't true, was it? Dead and buried. It was time to get up and move on.

 

"I wish I told you I always thought you were cute way sooner," Amethyst says.

“Why did you wait?”

“Why did  _you?”_

"We have the time to keep those feelings hidden,” Pearl says. “Centuries. Especially those that we don’t understand.”

“So what dug it out from under the surface, huh?”

Pearl looks away nervously. “When your gem cracked," she whispers, her eyes filling with tears as she recalls that day. She feels like the guilt might not ever go away. How could she have let Amethyst get to that point, where she felt so sad and inferior that she was willing to put her life on the line?  "I was so worried, Amethyst. I've lost so much in my life. If we had lost you, I couldn't...I couldn't have..."

 

Pearl begins to weep, and all Amethyst can do is stare. She tries to avoid talking about that day. They all do. They had silently agreed upon it. It was embarrassing as hell for her, but she had never once imagined that it was this incredibly painful for Pearl. She knows Pearl has suffered tremendous loss in her life, and all she has left is this little family here in Beach City. Amethyst's watched her grieve about since the very fateful day that they met...but never once did she imagine that she fit so strongly into that family puzzle, that anybody would care so much if she went right ahead and disappeared. She figured everyone would get over it eventually, and yet, Pearl was in her arms and sobbing over the mere thought that it could have happened.

 

Amethyst has never felt so important in her entire life.

 

"It's okay, Pearl, " she says, holding her tightly. "I'm fine."

 

* * *

 

 

_ “What are you doing?” Pearl asks, eyebrow cocked in confusion, glancing at the gem descending down her form. _

__

_ Amethyst blinks. “Um, eating you out?” _

__

_ Pearl stares at her. _

__

_ “Y’know, like, with my mouth…” _

__

_ “Cunnilingus,” Pearl says. _

__

_ “Heh. Yeah, I’m a cunning linguist.” _

__

_ Pearl squirms, looking unsure. Amethyst immediately pulls away, letting the other close her thighs. “You okay?” _

__

_ “Doesn’t it…doesn’t it taste—“ _

__

_ “Tastes like a vag,” Amethyst says. “It’s not supposed to taste, like…like a bundle of flowers or expensive perfume or a bathroom candle. It’s a pussy. I mean, I literally eat traffic cones. There’s no way you can taste worse than that!” _

__

_ “There’s hair down there,” Pearl says. _

__

_ “Sure is.” _

__

_ “Would you...like for me to trim it?” _

__

_ “No!” Amethyst shouts. “No. Unless you want to.” She shoots Pearl a coy, flirtatious grin. “I like it au naturel. It’s sexy.” _

__

_ “It’s in your mouth **—** “ _

__

_“Yeah? So? Ooh, a stray pube — the end of the world!” she cackles, slapping her knee. “C’mon, P. Don’t forget who you’re fuckin’ here. Have you seen the kinds of things I put in my mouth? I’ll just pluck it out and carry on my merry pussy-eating way.”  Amethyst resumes kissing her flat belly, storing all the spots where the skin twitches beneath her mouth in the vault of her memory.  “Yo, Pearl. f you don’t want me to do this, just tell me and I won’t, no questions asked. There’s tons of other stuff we can do instead. It’s not fun for me either if you’re not into it.”_

__

_ “No, no,” Pearl assures her. “It’s just — why, Amethyst? Don’t you find it repulsive?” _

__

_“Hm,” Amethyst hum. “Honestly, P, I never expected I’d be here in the first place. You know how sex is for us gems, yeah? It’s weird. It’s not the same way it is for humans. We don’t regularly craveit unless we’re mated or interested and have someone to rile our hormones up, someone to please and fuck so you can make ‘em feel good. If you’re unmated, well, you go into heat now and then, and then it’s over and you…forget about it besides the occasional curious jack-off or exploring like we are. It’s hard to explain, but you know what I mean. It goes to sleep.”  Her thumbs trace circles into the gentle slope of Pearl’s hips.  “But man, every time I’d have my heat and glue myself to a vibe for a week, my mind would drift to fucking a hot chick with my tongue over and over again…It iskinda gross. And that’s why I like it. I see how wet you are and it’s so shiny and glossy and fuck, I just wanna feel it on my tongue. I wanna taste it. It takes a lot of need to put your face up in someone’s junk and a lot of trust and intimacy to letsomeone do that, you know? It’s so personal and…animalistic. It’s so wild and wet and sloppy, but it doesn’t lack in love.”_

__

_Amethyst always thought that if she were to ever have sex, it’d be rough and hard and mindless. But here she is in that exact spot and instead all she cares about is making the gem in front of her comfortable and safe. She wants to know every spot that makes her gasp, and tremble and moan; wants to know what she likes and dislikes. What feels good for her? Does she like it firm and pinpoint or gentle and broad or a combination? Amethyst couldn’t give less of a fuck if the bed breaks or not — she just wants Pearl to come.  What does that mean?Why is it different with Pearl? Why can’t she fuck Pearl senseless and walk off — why does she want to stay? What’s she feeling…what’s the damn underlying factor she can’t sort out?_

__

_ “You want to make me feel good.” _

__

_ “You just figuring that out now?” _

__

_Pearl shivers in disgusted curiosity. She’d be lying if she claimed she wasn’t even the slightest bit interested in knowing what it felt like. It’s so…dirty. And, frankly, Amethyst was right: that’s what made it so oddly appealing. There was something remarkably arousing about the idea of an individual wantingher enough to please her most intimate region with their mouth — and trusting someone to take care of her like that, too.  “...Alright,” she tenderly approves after a moment of deliberation, slim legs falling open._

__

_Amethyst’s eyes light up in that one way Pearl thinks could brighten a room.  “Um,” she starts, gripping Pearl’s inner thighs, spreading the delicate teal lips with her thumbs, reminding herself where everything is. “Sorry if it feels like a wet dish rag. And if you don’t come.”_

__

_ She hadn’t last time. Or the time before. She was too nervous. _

__

_ “Amethyst,” Pearl chokes. _

__

_ “Right,” comes the reply, and then Amethyst’s mouth is on her. _

__

_ “Oh,” Pearl gasps, back arching, pelvis jerking, hot tongue lapping at her in broad strokes. Her hands fist in Amethyst’s hair. “ **Oh.”** _

__

_Amethyst — her lover — grins into her sex, teeth bared, muscle at work, tasting Pearl’s film, her honey, light yet thick in the way it coats her tongue; inhaling her raw, womanly, bitter scent. Amethyst clutches that strong pelvis so it doesn’t rock out of her mouth’s caress in need each time plush lips kiss at Pearl's swollen bud, each time a soft but firmly dedicated muscle drags through her inner folds, teases at her entrance’s embrace but never delves into its warm depths.  _ __ _ Pearl is a panting mess, overrun by sensation, spine tingling with electricity, toes curled. Amethyst is sloppy. Uncoordinated, with a tongue lashing at her in all different ways, figuring out which works best, which gets her to mewl, which gets her to squirm. The fact that she's never done this before is clear as day. So is the way that she's trying her best regardless, and that's where it counts. It’s delicious. Amethyst eats her like an animal. _

__

_ “Pearl,” she asks, pausing her service. Her chin and nose are smudged slick. “Can I put a finger in you this time?” _

__

_ “Yes,” she breathes, chest tight as Amethyst circles her opening with a finger. Pearl braces herself, prepared for pain. She had kindly asked for no penetration the first few times around. It was something she'd only ever done once to herself, years and years and years ago, finding the sensation to be too much. Too intimate. Too direct, like she didn't deserve that pleasure. _

__

_“You gotta relax,” Amethyst says. “It hurts if you tense up, I think.”  She pushes in at the same time Pearl forcefully pushes out...and to her delight does Pearl moan, thighs shaking and clamping, muscles rippling like the tide.  “You okay?” she asks. “Does it hurt?”_

__

_ “No," Pearl chokes out, gasping for air. Bliss. Everything tastes sweet. Her head's fogging. "It’s -- it's, oh, it's incredible,” she sings. _

__

_ It’s only a finger. Just one. Thick, but when taking in account the elastic ability of the walls at their best, it's nothing. It’s not the physical filling by itself that has prompted such a response from her, though, but the emotional one: trusting Amethyst to penetrate her — she feels complete, full, no longer empty, putting her faith in someone to see what’s inside her, to accept this sinful form of hers, at its best, at its worst, at its average, prim, proper, and filthy. And wet. And throbbingly wholesome. Unpolished. Honesty. What it means to enter her, to breach the barriers she puts up, to embrace her entirely, wholly, unabashed. Intense. Overwhelming. To trust. To be trusted. To let someone in— _

__

_ Amethyst beams, still stationed at the humid-sticky apex of her thighs, hand pumping in and out of Pearl's eager sex, the warm clasp of her walls, so much force in the motions that her entire body quakes. Every whimper that spills is savoured like drops of rain in a drought. Pearl's hips buck to meet each thrust halfway. _

__

_ “I love you,” Pearl cries, shivering like a leaf. The cerulean warmth born from her cheeks has bloomed to her neck, her shoulders, blending like she's been airbrushed. _

__

_ The words catch Amethyst off guard. Her movements cease, finger resting inside Pearl while its owner stares in confusion. In her silence, the throttle of her own heart seems to rattle her being. “What?” _

__

_ “I love you,” Pearl repeats, words rolling off her tongue like they belong. Her eyes are still squeezed shut, sparks flying beneath the lids, mouth opened to greedily inhale gulps of moist oxygen. The clutch of her fingers on Amethyst's head knots tighter. _

__

_ Amethyst is just as dazed as her partner is, face ablaze, stomach and heart fluttering at how those words sound when they fall from Pearl’s lips. She doesn’t know what to say to them. But after a few moments of silly gawking, she decides to resume, pleased smile on plump mouth, indigo gaze flickered upwards to watch the pleading gem while she works her. She rubs at Pearl’s insides, wrapping her lips around that clit and suckling deeply. _

__

_ Pearl feels good **.**  That’s all Amethyst ever wanted in this, really. _

__

_She doesn’t know what such a desire means, or why her heart’s still racing over the idea that Pearl lovesher. It’s just a word. A word that she doesn’t know how much power has been given to by its owner.  But it doesn’t matter, not really, because when Pearl comes, when her walls grip Amethyst’s digit like a vice, when her sex pulses, when her back bends and she shrieks and desperately clutches her handfuls of pale hair and her face is sweaty and flushed and glistening in the light and her lips are bruised and her slight breasts -- those sweet, petite little breasts -- puff out and the smaller gem bears eye-witness to her moment of culmination…_

__

_ It’s the most beautiful thing Amethyst’s ever seen. _

__

_ “I like you too, P.” _

 

* * *

 

 

 

“What are they doing in there?” Peridot snarls. Pearl and Amethyst had promised they would be gone for an hour and a half. It was now two hours, and Peridot had somewhere to be: back at the barn. If they were going to do this gemsitting thing, the least Pearl and Amethyst could do was be punctual about it rather than going overtime. If this became a common occurence, than she was opting the hell out of here.

By her side, Lapis drags her fingers through Lilac’s curly, groomed hair. “I don't know. They said they needed some alone time. I think they're trying to see if we can handle this.”

"Hmph," Peridot says. “A fair hypothesis, but false. They’re mating.”

“Maybe.”

Peridot's lips twist into a shit-eating grin, and she elbows Lapis in the side, snickering gleefully. "I’m surprised Amethyst didn’t crush her when they were making it official."

Lapis frowns. “Um, I think it was the other way around, Peridot.”

“What?”

“Haven’t you ever seen the big mating bite on Amethyst’s neck?”

“No way,” Peridot breathes. Pearlwas the one who declared them mated? The one who bither?  That skinny songbird of a gem?  “That’s…that’s so… _bwahahaha—!!_ Amethyst's so — henpecked! Get it?! Because of Pearl’s nose? Like a bird?! Ahahahaha!!” she snorts, kicking her feet around. 

 

Lapis smiles, amused. She watches Peridot kick and laugh before eyeing the journal on her lap. She had been writing in it since the gemlings hatched, but Lapis hasn't read any of it. "What's that journal for?"

“For research. I want to study their offspring's social dynamics." Peridot  scribbles something down in her journal as Ivory shreds apart a stack of paper across from her, gathering up as much as she can and carrying it back to her nest.

**“Ivory”**

• BAHAHAHA! To think I thought that this one’s motherwas out of line for a pearl… Her spawn is on an entirely different level!If Yellow Diamond saw this monster, she’d combust.

“You’re supposed to be watching.”

Peridot's whole body stiffens, fear crawling slowly up her spine and trickling into her brain. She tentatively turns her head to look behind her. Garnet was holding Mauve -- the one gemling that didn't like Peridot -- in her arms. “ O-oh!” she stammers. Damn it. Wasn't Mauve supposed to be scared and stay in one spot all the time just like every other pearl? “That’s where she went! I was wondering where she ran off to…”

“To the kitchen counter,” Garnet says sternly. "She could have fallen."

Peridot waves her arms. “That one hates me, okay?!”

“She doesn’t.”

“She does too! Look at how she...how she spits at me!" Peridot lifts a hand to Mauve's face and she hisses sharply.

“She’s nervous, afraid and doesn’t know any better.”

“Yeah!” Steven says, snatching Mauveine from Garnet. She rests her head on his shoulder, clutching him fiercely. While he’s there, he takes a peek at Peridot’s notes.

**“Mauveine”**

• Brat.

“Periii!" Steven cries. "Don’t call her that! She’s just scared and you smell differently from us and her moms. You have to form a relationship with her so she knows you won't hurt her!"

Just in time to stop the lecturing, the temple door opens with the sticky sound of gum on a shoe. Pearl and Amethyst make their way out.

“Hey, guys. I’m taking this one home,” Lapis says, squeezing Lilac tightly in her arms.

 

”Excuse me?” Pearl’s pupils constrict and her nostrils flare viciously. “You’re not taking any of my children home, Lapis.”

 

Amethyst laughs and smacks Pearl hard on the back. “Chill, P! She’s just kidding!”

“Ahhhh,” Pearl breathes, shaking her head like she’s rattling the  _protect protect protect_  instinct out of her system. “Yes, that’s…haha, she’s very cute, isn’t she? Thank you. Both of you.”

Peridot sniffs the air. They don’t smell like sex. Strange.  She does catch a glimpse of the bold mark on Amethyst’s neck when she brushes her hair back to scratch, though — a big, angrily-pinched crescent bruise, the telltale sign of a mated gem. It just screams "I'm taken." She leers in amusement. Those two...

Weirdos.

Gems she thinks are opposites aren’t always that way when she looks a little deeper.

In fact, they can get along.

In fact, they can fight and make up.

In fact, they can fall in love.

She's rigid, black and white, but the world around her isn't. It's every shade in existence. Lurking variables. Nobody's flat, nobody's one-dimensional. They always require critical analysis. Even herself.  Peridot's happy for them. Maybe one day she’ll feel what they do for each other for a mate of her own. Who knows? They can all change, here on Planet Earth. _'A good, admirable family,'_ Peridot quickly scribbles in her notebook, clapping it shut.  She shoos the gemlings off as they dart over to their parents in delight. “Get back to your mothers now.”

“Oh!” Pearl squeaks, eyes twinkling. “Peridot, you called us ‘mothers’ and not ‘Fertiliser’ and ‘Egg Bearer’!”

“Huh-huh,” Amethyst giggles before Peridot can respond. “Hear that, P? We’re mommas! Parents! Mommies! Woop-woop!” She lifts Pearl into the air, unabashedly tossing her and catching her bridal-style over and over again, their children squeaking in unfiltered happiness — and then Amethyst twirls her and dips her and they’re laughing and hugging and glowing white, phasing into one another.

Where there once was two stands one.

She laughs, and laughs, hand to her mouth, utterly overjoyed by the giddiness of components until all the gazes that are fixated on her become apparent and she stops. The gemlings’ utter confusion, Steven’s starry adoration, Peridot and Lapis’s collective shock, and Garnet’s knowing, light smile...it's like a spotlight shining directly on her.

“Oh,” Opal whispers.

“Hey,” Garnet says, tilting her shades.

She almost loses herself. Opal’s form fizzles and wobbles, struggling to linger in existence. It’s not that she doesn’t want to be here. The difficulty lies in the sheer intensity of that very desire. It’s her first time being fused since Amethyst became pregnant, and she’s overrun with the newfound, combined desires of the two mates that have now bred: t he warmth, the motherly love, the need to protect. Pearl and Amethyst are the magnets. Opal is the connection, the way they stick and can’t be pried apart.

 

“Opal,” Garnet says.

 

She clutches her head. “I didn’t mean to,” she gasps.

 

“They did.”

 

“I wasn’t supposed—“

 

“You don’t need to justify your right to exist.”

 

“Garnet—“

 

“You’re not an accident.”

 

“…Are you okay?” Peridot awkwardly mumbles, feeling like an ant in front of the towering presence before her.

 

Opal closes her eyes, steadies her breathing, searching for that harmony, that peace Amethyst and Pearl find when they’re fused. When her lids open again, she’s smiling. The sight of it is enough to lull anyone to sleep. Balance, she is, the way the sea meets earth when its tides lick at the shore.  Opal begins to laugh. She stretches all four of her arms. “Yes,” she says.

 

“Giant mother,” Steven whispers.

 

“Oh,” Opal says. “I’m not a mother.”

 

“Hm,” Garnet thinks. “Sort of.”

 

“How? I didn’t birth them, or conceive them…”

 

“But you’re made of the two gems that did,” Garnet says. “Two mothers, fused into one…I’d say that makes you family enough, doesn’t it?”

 

Opal blinks, hesitantly holding one hand out to the puzzled, chirruping gemlings as they collectively scan the room and try to figure out where their parents went.  It’s her turn to ask: “Do you know who I am?”

 

The babies sniff at her skin. Smelling Amethyst. Smelling Pearl. Smelling someone…new. Someone like their moms, familiar, but entirely different, too. Fearless as ever, Ivory jumps into Opal’s outstretched hand, Lilac following, then lastly, even shy little Mauve.

 

“Opal!” Steven shouts, clapping his hands to his cheeks excitedly. “You have four hands for your four daughters!”

 

The room erupts into delighted laughter, the gemlings squeaking along.  Even Lapis and Peridot crack a smile.

 

* * *

“How do you feel?”

 

“Good,” Opal says. “Amazing. But…—intense. I can feel everything. I could barely keep myself together,” she admits. “Is this normal?”

 

“Of course,” Garnet says. “They’re mothers now. They can’t afford to hold anything back from each other.”

 

Opal frowns. “I’m supposed to be their balance.”

 

“You’re not supposed to be anything besides yourself,” Garnet says “I’m still learning, too.”

 

Garnet has never been anything besides a fusion. But even after all these thousands of years, she’s still wonderfully intrigued by what she is. How strange it is: to be made of two, yet one’s own individual self at the same time.  Her words earn a gentle smile from Opal, filled with warm emanating sweetness that could quell any fight…before her cheeks puff out and two of her arms cross in a display of mild irritation that she’d only ever dare show her fellow fusion.

 

“They couldn’t have picked a better time? With some mental preparation beforehand—“

 

Garnet laughs, recognising Pearl shining through. “As if there’s a bad time for love.”

 

“The gemlings,” Opal gasps. “I nearly forgot. Garnet, I can’t stay here forever.”

 

“Why not?” Garnet chuckles. “That’s always been my way of life. Take a break, Opal. You’ll be back soon. I’ve seen it.”

 

“Thank you,” Opal says, before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

 

Amethyst and Pearl manage to hold onto each other rather than being shot apart like they usually are, but their posture is wobbly, struggling to get used to the sheer intensity of what it’s like to fuse when mated. How does Garnet do this every day?  Amethyst suddenly topples over into the snow — but not before grabbing Pearl by the waist and pulling her along, too.

 

“I forgot how much you think,” Amethyst chokes.

 

“And I forgot how much you feel,” Pearl wheezes.

 

“I’m just glad you remembered how much you love each other,” Garnet says.

 

* * *

 

“Excellent!” Pearl cheers for her children. The new mother finds herself seated on the floor, leaning back against Amethyst whilst she dozes on her stomach. One elbow rests comfortably on the body behind her, wrist outstretched so her hand can settle in Amethyst’s hair — which Ivory is foraging in like a starved raccoon, searching for treasure. Her other arm cradles Lilac in her lap, namesake clipped into the young gem’s hair to sweep the lightly curled locks from her eyes.  “Now, Mauve, make a square.”

 

Mauve arranges the wooden blocks into the outline of a square, clapping her bitty hands together when it’s complete. Mauve’s little chest puffs out with pride, with what semblance of boastfulness a child can feel.

 

Pearl reaches out to brush the shaggy hair out of Mauve's eyes, and her hand freezes in midair.

 

_ (That's who you look like... I've finally got it...) _

 

“State Hooke’s Law,” commands a nasally voice, the top of a blonde head popping up over the opposing end of the coffee table.

 

“The force required to stretch a string is directly proportional to the distance stretched,” Pearl answers for Mauve as she shrieks and dives behind her in fear, timidly peeking over a thin waist. “Peridot, she’s not that advanced yet!”

 

Peridot does all but stare.   _A shivering little pearl,_ she cynically thinks to herself.  _Hiding behind her master like any other._   _What makes her so special?_

 

“Go on,” Pearl warmly encourages with a mother’s touch: she scoops Mauve up and places her in front of Peridot once more, delivering gentle pats to her back, the sheer size difference scooting her forth with each touch. Mauve clings to mama’s arm like a koala, nipping her sire’s thumb in protest and staring at Pearl with such disbelief you’d think she’s being thrust towards an evil monster. She’s given nothing but tough love in response. “Say hello, Mauve.”

 

Peridot squints in displeasure, equally hesitant, but Pearl nods at her, too, spurring her on. Defeated, Peridot squeezes her eyes shut and turns her face away to brace herself. Her hand shakily settles on Mauveine’s head, and her skull fits magnificently into her palm. One of Peridot’s eyes crack open in surprise when a fearful Mauve doesn’t hiss or nip at her but shyly accepts her touch with the support of her mother instead.

 

…And then an angry, sputtering ‘pop’ of a snore from Amethyst ruins the moment. Like a slippery frog evading capture, Mauve hops off of the coffee table and dives into the depths of her other mom’s hair — though not without shooting Pearl an infuriated  _“how dare you, Mother”_  glare. Amused, Pearl watches her promptly disappear before clasping her hands together and resting her chin atop them, looking to Peridot with a teasing gaze.

 

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

 

“Seeing as how I still have all of my fingers,” Peridot says, scowling at the friendly mockery in the other’s tone, “you could say that.”

 

“Oh,” Pearl laughs, her smile stretching, “please. As if she’s capable of such a thing.”

 

“You underestimate their power.”

 

“There’s nothing to underestimate."

 

“Why are you mated?” Peridot asks, gaze traveling from Pearl to her hand in Amethyst’s hair and back.

 

“Wha…what?” Pearl was stunned. Peridot had never taken any interest in her relationship with Amethyst before. “Well, that’s — that’s because we love each other, of course.”

 

“Allow me to rephrase. What’s the story behind…this?” Peridot gestures to them as a pair.

 

“Are you sure you want to know that? It’s…quite sentimental, you know.”

 

“Typical,” Peridot drones, rolling her eyes. “You mates always act so secretive and flowery, like everything about you is sacred—“

 

“Now, now,” Pearl laughs, covering her mouth. “I never said I wouldn’t tell you. It’s just…why? Just a week ago, you started gagging when you saw Amethyst give me a hug.”

 

“I’m interested in knowing how a pearl loves,” Peridot sniffs.

 

Pearl's eyes narrow in suspicion. She was having absolutely none of that talk. She had left that behind years ago. “This is Earth. Not  _Homeworld_  and their silly rules. If this is about me being ‘inferior’, I swear—“

 

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Peridot says. “It’s quite the opposite. With how restricted your kind’s expression is on Homeworld, it hadn’t ever so much as occurred to me that you were even capable of feeling such…emotions. But now I realise that a pearl has as much love to give as any other overly emotional gem. You love Steven, and the fusion, and your offspring, this planet, and Amethyst — your mate —…not to mention, you’ve forged something of a friendship with myself. Somehow, I happen to moderately enjoy your company. But what I can’t seem to figure out is how it was possible for you to permit yourself to mate after a lifetime of being forbidden to…”

 

Pearl's jaw clenches nervously.  _ (Don't go there. Don't. Don't. Please.) _

 

_ BANG! _

 

"Huh?!" Amethyst sputters awake. "What was that?" Her head whips around, and she sees Ivory on the floor, having fallen from the kitchen counter. 

 

"Oh no," Pearl gasps, immediately rising to her feet as Ivory begins to bawl. She must have crawled out of Amethyst's hair and made her way up there without anyone noticing. "I'm sorry, Peridot. We'll talk more about it some other time, okay?"

 

It's not just anger that fills Peridot in that moment as she watches Pearl and Amethyst rock and coo to their wailing child, but ugly, bitter jealousy. Why wasn't that done for her? When she fell down in the lab, everyone waited for her to get back up. Her fists clenching, she grabs her journal and storms out of the Crystal Gems' house.

 

* * *

 

_ “Hey, P…” _

_ “Yes?” _

_ “Sometimes I wonder if you’d rather have an amethyst that’s…y’know… full-sized. For a mate.” _

_ “And sometimes I wonder if you’d rather have a pearl that listened to orders,” Pearl responds, thumb running over a deep purple nipple.  _

_ “I don’t want that!”  _

_ “Exactly,” Pearl laughs. “So don’t be silly. There’s no wondering between us anymore. Only certainty.” _

_ Amethyst grins into the skin of her neck, teeth grazing flesh, not hard enough for what’s about to come, but enough to earn a soft gasp. “I like being wrong with you,” she says. “It reminds me of, like…a picture made out of broken glass in a human museum or something. They flock to that stuff, ‘cause it’s fascinating, you know? How something can come fromwrongness and it looks just as good as the unbroken thing.” _

_ Pearl pushes her over, and climbs on top, the sweaty, sticky skin of their nude bodies pressed together. She gathers up a sheaf of Amethyst’s white hair and tosses it to the side, exposing the perfect spot for a mating bite. " _ _ If this is wrong, than I don’t ever want to be right,” she whispers. “Perhaps I’m not as much of a perfectionist as we thought.” _

_ “Woah there, Sappho,” Amethyst snorts, cradling the back of Pearl’s head and pulling her in, encouraging her to deliver the bite and declare them a pair. _

_ “Amethyst,” Pearl says. “You’re sure?” _

_ “‘Course I am. We talked about this a bunch already. Never been surer in my life." _

_ “I need you to tell me again,” Pearl says, hot breath against equally hot skin. “Once I do this, we’ll be mated. We can’t just turn back.” _

_ “Then let’s go forward instead.” _

_ Pearl looks into her eyes. _

_ “You’ve had a lot taken from you in your life. Amethyst says. “So I’m gonna give something to you instead. Yeah, that’s right. Here I am, Pearl. I’m giving myself over to you. Everything. The good, the bad, the ugly… I wanna be yours. All up to you whether you’re gonna take it or not.” _

_ A pause. _

_ “Only if you take me, too,” Pearl says, smoothing her hand up Amethyst's chest and to her cheek. _

_ Amethyst smirks. “Deal.” _

_ And so Pearl leans in with bared teeth, sinking them into the available flesh of Amethyst’s neck and relishing in the way the body under her stiffens and then releases in intense, hot-white pain and pleasure. Her mouth latches on, tasting hot metal as Amethyst squirms and writhes underneath her and brings her hands up to sink her nails into Pearl's back. An angry, crescent bruise began to blossom, one that wouldn't ever disappear, as Pearl gives herself over and takes all that she’s been offered, declaring them mated. _


	14. saintly

Leadership is viewed as being a daunting task, yet simultaneously easy: give the commands, and the rest follow. And yet in that statement one forgets how tremendous it is to give a command, how much thought goes into it. The responsibilities of a leader — or at least Garnet’s form of leadership and all that she strived to be — were numerous.  Her priority was the safety of her team, first and foremost. Their comfort followed, as state of mind tended to greatly affect one’s safety by influencing their awareness and impulses. It doesn’t look good on her if her team is sloppy or dead. More importantly, they’re her friends and family first and teammates second, and she wants them to be happy, hence why she’s opted to do the babysitting today, alongside keeping tabs on Peridot’s exploration in the nest…

 

“You’re not supposed to be in there,” Garnet says.

 

Peridot jolts. She turns to face the opening of the tent that Pearl and Amethyst have formed their nest inside, and she sees that Garnet is crouching and carrying an armful of relaxed gemlings. “Would it kill you to stop mysteriously popping out of nowhere?!” Once her heartbeat slows, she continues. “And why not?”

 

“It’s their nest,” Garnet says. “That’s their place of safety. They’re very obsessive about how it’s arranged and can spot the tiniest change. If you invade a nest, the mates will be able to smell your presence, and they won’t be happy about it.”

 

“Once again I find myself thinking that our enhanced senses aren’t as useful as I once believed,” Peridot mumbles under her breath. “An overreaction, if you ask me.”

 

“It’s not an overreaction. It’s the primary place where the gemlings reside. If another gem disrupts it, the parents have good reason to believe someone’s out for them.” Garnet is  a bit surprised that Peridot doesn’t know this. It’s common knowledge amongst gems. She’s more surprised that she’s never ventured into some stray nest for ‘research’ back on Homeworld and gotten her ass handed to her…and she won’t be surprised if one day, Pearl catches her snooping around in here and loses her patience in a maternal frenzy and kicks Peridot’s teeth out.

 

“Why would I be out for them? They're not that special.”

 

“Instincts, Peridot. New mothers are messy and hormonal. They feel rather than think.”

 

Peridot looks to her feet.  “I—“

 

“This is far more stressful for Pearl and Amethyst than it is for you.”

 

“What about you?” Peridot cries, waving her arms. “I see you walking around in here all the time!”

 

“Only when I need to,” Garnet says. It was true — even now she was just outside the nest,not inside. “I’m their leader. They trust me with their lives. It’s only natural that extends to their children as well.”

 

Peridot says nothing.

 

“Come on out, Peridot.”

 

“…Okay.” 

 

She spares a final glance behind herself, taking in the messy yet loosely organised nest. Blankets and toys and pillows and stuffed animals and a spot to the far right with two pillows side-by-side, books on the right and food wrappers on the left, the mothers’ obvious resting spot.  Perhaps most notably is the large pink lion in the centre, curled up around a heat lamp and basket. He was the hired guardian of the still-unhatched egg. He did a good job at it, too: earlier Peridot had tried to take a peek and all was good until her hand poked out, which was greeted with a snarl and bared teeth that dissolved into puppy-dog eyes the moment she retracted.  Her glance ends and she exits the nest, hovering low like she’s an animal of sorts. 

  


Garnet rises to her full height once more. " Thanks,” she says, donning another little smile that’s as soothing as a lake and as powerful as the ocean. 

 

Peridot doesn’t say anything. She just nods and then looks at the three gemlings in Garnet’s grasp. They’re mellow and quiet and clearly content to be with her. Occasionally they reach up to grab her shades or pinch her cheek or pat her hair much like they do to their biological parents. Garnet didn’t mind. 

  


“…So,” Peridot says. “You’re gemsitting for them?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“I thought that was my job…”

 

Garnet shrugs. “Mostly. “Sometimes I’m a leader, but right now, I’m a helper.” 

  


It’s fair, though, Peridot thinks. They can’t have her and Lapis around here every second of every hour, and Garnet enjoyed the prospect of being an aunt. It was getting hard not to, Peridot begrudgingly admitted to herself. The gemlings were starting to look adorable instead of cute.  She forces the embarrassing question out of herself, adjusting her bowtie. “Could I…perhaps…you know…hold one?” The splitting of her lips into an enormously excited smile is uncontrollable.

 

“Sure,” Garnet agrees, handing over Ivory, a simple action with a lot of meaning.

 

* * *

 

“You need to chillax,” Amethyst tells Pearl, her hand skimming up the other’s thigh.

 

“I am ‘chillaxing’.”

 

“No you’re not.”

 

“H—how would you know?!” Pearl spits defensively.

 

“By knowing you?” Amethyst offers, puffing a strand of hair out of her mouth. “Your shoulders are stiff, your jaw’s all tense and your arms are crossed. Doesn’t look very chillaxed to me.”

 

“This is how I relax.”

 

Amethyst laughs at that, moving in closer so she can hug her dear lover from behind. “Pearl.”

 

When Pearl spares a glance to the side, she’s greeted by her mate’s tender gaze and playful, cat-like grin. It makes her blush. " I’m sorry,” she sighs defeatedly, cheek pressing further against her pillow and eyes averting. “I’m being silly.”

 

“Naw,” Amethyst says. “I mean, sorta. Like, it’s totally understandable why you’re upset, you’re just overreacting a bit. Look, I know you don’t want the kids to get hurt, but it’s gonna happen eventually whether you like it or not.Pain’s a part of life! We’re gems, P. Durable gems. A couple bruises and crocodile tears isn’t impending doom and it doesn’t make you a bad mommy either. Makes you a normal mommy.”

 

“Every time they cry it feels like my **soul** is being ripped out of me!” Pearl wails, much like a baby herself.

 

“There there,” her lover insists, placing her hand over hers. “Not every time. We’re going into heat again soon, remember? You’re just all riled up because of it and everyone’s out to getch’a. I know. Gonna be okay, Pearly.”

 

Pearl turns so they’re facing each other on their sides. She hasn’t cried, but her eyes are puffy and her mouth aches with the pressure of holding the torrent back. Her long arms drape over Amethyst’s shoulders.  “How can you be so **calm** about this?! I’m finding myself constantly worried where they are and if they’re okay or if they’ve been **stolen** every waking hour! A-and then the panic sets in and I turn around and oh, they were two feet away from me the whole time as if I forgot I live in a safe little house on the beach—“

 

“I’m not calm!” Amethyst shouts back, making Pearl’s eyes widen. “I mean — I’m going through everything you are too, okay?! You think I don’t feel the same? I’m just not showing it for your sake!”  The room falls silent and Amethyst sighs. She tugs Pearl even closer to her, fitting their bodies snugly.   “I know it’s hard, babe. Trust me. I do. I’m in this with you and honestly, this shit’s overwhelming. But we got this. We can do it, you hear me?” She taps her partner’s gemstone to earn the hollow sound akin to flicking one on the head.

 

“Yes,” Pearl affirms, “I hear you.” She smiles, forced and tiny but earnest all the while. Her eyes close, then, inhaling ragged breaths to steady herself and spewing them back out. Amethyst’s eyes brighten in pride.

 

“Atta girl!” the stout one cheers, filled with adoration over Pearl’s display of emotional strength, suddenly shoving her mate onto her back and climbing atop. The gem beneath her squeaks and writhes, not from protest but from excitement. She’s sated by a mouth fitting over her gemstone, teeth neatly around the rim and tongue lavishing over the surface of her very soul. Her head fizzles and heat pricks her face, pleasure spreading through her like one continuous orgasm.  Amethyst buries her face in the other’s neck, dotting her with kisses and inhaling the fresh musk. It’s tempting, but temptation is redundant for someone so needy already. “Mmmh, I haven’t had you in forever.”

 

“Don’t you even give me that,” Pearl scoffs, grabbing the hem of Amethyst’s shirt and peeling it off while the other impatiently does the same to her. “Here I’ve been, asking you every time we have a chance — ‘oh, Amethyst, would you like to have sex’ — and you’ve been insisting you’re not in the mood—“

 

“Imma be honest,” Amethyst snickers when they’re both topless, grabbing both of Pearl’s skinny wrists and pinning them above her head. “I actually wanted to do it really bad. I just saved it for today so I could go all out.”

 

“Amethyst, you’re evil!” Pearl laughs back, wrapping her legs around her mate’s waist as their lips meet in a kiss.  At first it’s just their bare lips, a talented waltz, and then Pearl reaches up and pries Amethyst’s mouth open with her hand so she can shove her tongue in. Amethyst inhales a hot snuff through her nose, always so taken with how good Pearl is at it. To think she’d once been disgusted with this type of kissing — well, she still was, really — but she’d come to think that if she was going to be disgusting with anyone, it could at least be the love of her life.They were plenty fluid-bonded, anyways…  She coaxes Ame’s tongue into her own heat and suckles on it, grinding their hips together, pores opening and releasing fresh waves of her scent. Pearl's fingers rest on Amethyst's jaw to feel the thrumming of her artificial pulse. In response the other palms at her chest, making her pull away from their kiss.

 

“Hurry up,” Pearl whispers hoarsely.

 

“ **Jeez** , Pearl!” Amethyst scoffs teasingly in response. "Impatient, aren't we?"

 

Pearl just huffs, decidedly not pleased that she won’t get fucked as fast as she’d like — until her gaze fixates on the delicious sight of Amethyst’s heavy chest. Her pupils tighten, and then dilate like the moon again. Target acquired.  She pulls Amethyst further up until her breasts are in range of her face, and she greedily offers them quite a bit of worship, palms splaying over them and flesh spilling between her fingers. She laps at the nerve-rich undersides, squeezes, draws Amethyst’s fat nipple into her mouth and forms a hard suction. Pearl tugs with her lips, traces circles until they’re stiff and hard, plucking the nipple she can’t suckle with her thumb and index finger.  She relishes in every little gasp and twitch — they’re both sensitive here, but Amethyst’s pleasure is resonating, akin to a full-bodied massage, while Pearl’s is localised and sharp and pinpoint.

 

With no warning at all, the ever so eager Pearl tosses her off, kneeling on the floor in front of the bed and stripping Amethyst of her remaining clothes. She clutches her thighs and drapes them over skinny shoulders, grabbing a handful of her ass and lifting her lower back off the bed, angling that already-throbbing, already-warm sex right against her tongue.

 

 **“Pearl,”** Amethyst gasps at the sudden contact. Fuck. There's nothing better than when she wants it hard and fast and now. God, the way Pearl's eyes lovingly close in bliss and her face flushes as she gets down to work makes her go wild. She probes Amethyst’s sex, spreading the thick, puffy lips apart, servicing with long, flat licks that make her mate shudder.  Amethyst chokes on no word in particular as perfect lips latch onto her erect clit and suck, tongue making circles over it, nose buried. She grabs Pearl’s hair so hard that her mate grunts in pain, shooting her a glare to tell her to ease up.

 

She’s yanked up instead, though, pushed onto her back, hand immediately jamming between her thighs and spreading her little petals apart. Two fingers plunge into her heat, filling her to the hilt while a thumb roughly massages her swollen clit, wasting no time even in light of its owner's previous attempts to take things slow. Pearl gasps — clutches her mate tighter, their bodies sticking together with sweat and heat, grinding herself into Amethyst’s hand.

“Amethyst,” she breathes into her ear, raspy, sensual, “a-ah — **f-fuck** me.” 

 

The crass words are hard to wrench from a maw as clean as hers, but she knows it drives Amethyst nuts so she spits it out anyways. Pearl's flexible back arches as her lover uses the hand that’s not inside her and thrusting into her mercilessly to squeeze her small breasts, lips departing from her neck to suckle her nipple instead. Teeth grazing. Her eyes glaze over, hooded. So close. So close already, damn it. That's what she gets.  “No,” Pearl barely manages to protest, “I want to come with you.”

 

Their positions shift again, this time Pearl on top, Amethyst on her back, the pale gem gripping the underside of her partner’s thigh and lifting it around her waist, fixing their limbs and bodies and all that they are until their sexes are snugly combined. Amethyst barks in pleasure, one hand sliding up Pearl’s toned belly, feeling around her torso, the moisture of her skin, thrusting into her pelvis, sparks flying every time their clits kiss — deliciously, until the sweet orgasm is earned at last.

 

* * *

 

It takes Amethyst a while to recover. It takes Pearl twice as long.  It was short but intense, the whole thing. Much faster than she expected, but understandably so: when you put a pause in a regular sex life like that, the delay’s all the foreplay you need.

 

Eventually Pearl stirs in her arms.  “Amethyst…”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I wanted to tell you,” she says. “I know we're not organic, but everything you make me feel…— that’s for real. I swear on it.”

 

Silence.

 

“Uh,” Amethyst stammers. “That’s…pre-tty gay, Pearl.”

 

Pearl smirks to herself. She knows the gem she fell in love with far too well to fall for that.   “Amethyst,” she repeats.

 

“Yeah,” the purple one acknowledges, eyes misty, voice hoarse. “…Same here, P. I love you. Like, so much.”

 

“I love you, too. Now take your silly nap.”

 

Amethyst snickers at that. “Only if you join me!”

 

“Oh, fine. It’s Valentine’s Day…”

 

* * *

 

When the temple door opens, Amethyst and Pearl step out. Peridot raises her head and her nostrils instantly start burning. They smell like love. Explicit forms of love. At the same time, though, it’s muted, indicating the pair at least made some effort at getting rid of it. It’s enough consideration for her to keep her mouth shut.

 

Garnet pulls them aside and quickly whispers something to the both of them, their expressions beginning with angry panic and ending with amusement. Their leader hands them their progeny — who could barely sit still the moment they saw their parents had returned — and the two gladly accept, bouncing the baby gems up and down in their arms. 

 

Pearl stops when she soon notices that Mauve has a bowtie fixed on her. The tall gem stares blankly in confusion, before squinting and tugging on one side of it to spiffy it up.

 

“Where did this come from…?”

 

“From **Aunt Peridot,”** the green gem answers from across the room, pointing to herself with her thumb and donning a boastful smile like she’s waiting for the confetti shower and trophy.

 

Pearl looks at her, wide-eyed. “From you? And she didn’t struggle?”

 

“Of course she did,” Peridot says, lifting her right hand. On her swollen, sickly-inflamed thumb are two deep gouges from where Mauveine sunk her top canines in. “There were teeth involved, but she stopped once she figured out I was just giving her a truce offering.” She closes her eyes and folds her arms behind her back, nodding to herself like an old philosophy professor giving a lecture. “But with peace, comes struggle.”

 

“Mauve!” Pearl gasps, the scolding tone of a mother who’s just caught her child stealing cookies. The baby pearl ignores her, looking to the side and yawning to feign innocence.

 

**“Duuude!”** Amethyst remarks, darting over, Pearl following behind. She clutches Lilac with one arm and uses the other to lift Peridot’s hand to get a better look at her wounded thumb. “That looks gnarly! Didn't know I gave birth to Dracula,” she snarks.

 

“Look at what you did,” Pearl tells Mauve. Her daughter looks straight ahead with an empty, seeing-through gaze, like there’s nothing in front of her — and then back to her. “No, no, don’t look at me. Look at Peridot. Say you’re sorry!”

 

Mauve yawns again, before wrapping her little arms around Pearl’s neck and nuzzling her head against her chest. Her sister joins. Pearl sighs.

 

“Sorry about this, Peridot…”

 

“Uh, yeah,” Amethyst chimes in after. “Sorry your thumb got jacked. But it’s kinda freaking me out that you’re not going off about devil kids or whatever.”

 

“Actually,” Peridot says with a clear of her throat, raising her fist her chin to appear professional. “I wanted to apologise.”

 

“…For what?”

 

“Snooping around in our nest, perhaps?” Pearl suggests, taking a seat on the couch with Amethyst. Ivory opens one sleepy eye and grumpily pats at Pearl’s mouth, trying to get her to shush.

 

**“Haw-haw!”** Amethyst guffaws next to her, and Lilac emits a raspy screech, trying to match the pitch. “Yeah, G-Squad told us aaall about that.”

 

“No!” Peridot gasps, blushing in embarrassment. “Well, yes, I apologise for that too but — that’s not what I was thinking of!” She un-grits her teeth and takes a breath, trying to calm herself. “I wanted to…apologise…for my less than considerate reactions towards your…relationship.”

 

Silence. Pearl and Amethyst stare at her, waiting for the catch. 

 

Pearl is the one to speak first.

 

“Oh,” she utters, in a giggly sing-song type of tone that suggest she’s not taking this too seriously, “that’s really alright.”

 

“Huh-huh,” Amethyst snickers again, wrapping one arm around Pearl. “Did Garnet put you up to this?”

 

**“No!”** Peridot screeches, defending herself. “I —…I decided to do this on my own terms. So take me seriously, you clods!” Her fists ball at her sides in frustration. “I didn’t know any better and I was rude and inconsiderate without knowing how much you two have really been through together. It’s disgustingly touching, really.” She clears her throat again, trying to regain her confidence after making herself vulnerable. “So! That’s my apology. Do with it what you will, but don’t go around saying I have no remorse. …I do.”

 

It’s only a few seconds before the reply comes, but it feels like ages.

 

“It’s okay, Peridot,” Pearl’s voice soothes again. It’s unexpectedly…quiet. And sincere. Peridot drops her metaphorical shield, the bullet she was expecting never so much as piercing the air. 

 

“…Really?” the former Homeworld gem asks. “Aren’t you going to rub it in and tell me I was wrong? I…I wouldn’t exactly…ngh…object to it, seeing as how you’re perfectly justified—“

 

“Why would we do that?” Pearl questions, eyes saddening at the prospect. Ivory grumbles and covers both her ears. “You made a mistake resulting from poor judgment, and then took responsibility and apologised for it. We accept. Right, Amethyst?”

 

“Huh?” her mate mutters, looking up from playing patty-cake with Lilac. “Oh, uh, yeah. It’s cool. Pearl, can I order four large pizzas?”

 

Pearl gasps. “One.”

 

“Three,” Amethyst insists.

 

“Two.”

 

“Dealio,” the stocky gem declares. “Up we go, kiddo!” she cheers, standing and marching her way over to the home phone, daughter lazily but securely dangling from her grasp.

 

Peridot’s mouth falls open and she gapes at them in confusion. She shakes her head like a cartoon character, trying to rattle the surprise from her brain.

 

“…So…” she starts up again, awkwardly. “About this Valentine’s Day —“

 

“How do you know about Valentine’s Day?”

 

“Steven gave me an inaccurately shaped heart card with a translucent red human confectionary atop a stick,” Peridot explains. 

 

Pearl laughs. “He does that every year! We have a whole billboard where we pin them up,” she gushes.

 

“He said that Valentine’s Day is a day about love, so I figured it would be of some interest to you.”

 

Amethyst’s angry voice rings through the air. “What do you mean you can’t put every topping on it?! I get that **all the time!** Better get to it or you’re gonna lose our business for-literally-ever!” She falls silent for a moment, then grins smugly and slams the phone down. “Yeah. That’s what I thought.”

 

“…As I was saying,” Pearl murmurs, “yes, well, love is what it’s meant to be about, but the meaning drowned quite some time ago under chocolate and roses. Now it’s just been commercialised and turned into a clever marketing ploy so companies can make money!”

 

“Typical Pearl,” Amethyst coos while making her way back over. “I love you to bits, but you’re always such a spoiiilspooort. Lighten up!” She presses a kiss to her partner’s cheek and Lilac copies her, delighted over the grin of approval she gets when she looks back. Her chubby hands cover her mouth to stifle her hilarious, chirpy little gemling giggles.

 

“Are you two…doing anything?”

 

“Already did, P-dot,” comes the snickered reply. “Did each other! **Ohhh—!!”**

 

“Amethyst!” Pearl gasps, icy blue flush, but despite herself she’s laughing and giddy, her mate shooting her a flirtatious look. Peridot just rolls her eyes.

 

“Why don’cha ask Lapis if you’re all alone?” Amethyst suggests.

 

“Lapis and I are barn mates!” Peridot screeches, flushing a forest-y green. “Not **mate** mates!”

 

“Valentine’s Day isn’t just about romantic love,” Pearl informs her. “It’s perfectly alright to spend it with your friends and those you consider family, too.”

 

Taking in the sight of a content Amethyst, arm wrapped around an equally content Pearl — whose head leans on her shoulder — and three relaxed babies to boot, all Peridot can do is sigh in defeat.  


 

* * *

 

“Aw, man! Seriously?! Why couldn’t I do that when I was a baby?!” Steven complains, hands flying to his hips as he stares down Ivory and her miniature teal bubble.

 

“They’re full gems, Steven,” Pearl calmly explains. “They grow tremendously fast in some ways, and slow in others. It’s only natural that they’re exploring their powers. But really — I wouldn’t exactly call this proficiency…”

 

They all watch as Ivory proceeds to pop the very bubble that she just spawned, earning a shrill cry of fear from Mauve. The little pearl darts back under her blanket, and concerned sister Lilac makes her way under as well so she can fish her back out.

 

Proficiency? Clearly not, no. Not even close. Ivory had only recently figured out that she could bubble (and couldn’t regularly achieve it, anyways) and Mauve liked making her gemstone flicker like a broken flashlight for no reason other than amusement. Lilac, well — she seemed far more interested in the world around her than any of her own capabilities, but she was plenty intelligent, as her gemstone's location would indicate, and would figure it out in due time. They were all beginning to hoist themselves up on two feet more often, something akin to a walk as long as they had something to lean against (until they toppled over and burst into frustrated tears) and Pearl swore Mauve was trying to say something starting with ‘w’ but couldn’t get the mouth position right.

 

But she was patient. She had time. Gemlings grew fast, reached a height about that of young Pearl (larger, of course, for the quartz) and then their growth plateaued until they steadily, achingly-slowly reached 'adulthood'. She was content no matter how long it took; content with just basking in silly bouncing babies and storing memories away to share with her daughters when they were all beautifully mature and strong and independent and **personal**. The mere thought made her heart flutter.

 

“Yeaaah,” Amethyst loudly agrees over by her pizza station, obnoxiously shaving toppings off of other pieces to create one monstrous slice. She shoves the thing in her mouth, chews three times, and then somehow swallows. Pearl cringes. “They’re not pros or anything yet. Unlike me.”

 

She trots cheerfully over to Pearl, grinning like a sly cat, hands hovering over her and encasing her in a giant purple bubble in a split second. All three of the gemlings lift their heads at once and simultaneously panic, palming desperately at the outside to free their trapped mother.

 

Pearl, though: her eyes just narrow and she frowns, entirely unamused but still possessing a fondness that's indicative of her repaired relationship with Amethyst, as though the sharp edges had been sanded down. Her gem glows a brilliant white and she pulls her spear out from it, barely so much as tapping the bubble with its sharp tip to pop it and release herself.

 

“Very funny, Amethyst.”

 

Steven laughs. Amethyst laughs harder.


	15. with love (and hellfire)

It’s all in the visuals, really. The sheen of sweat, the hungry gaze in her eyes, the swipe of a little blue kitten tongue over her lips. The way she rises and hovers over a purple waist, how she grabs the unyielding girth in her palm and poises it at her entrance…before sitting on it — she literally sits all the fucking way down, swallowing the whole length in her cunt in one fluid motion.

 

“Ah!” Pearl gasps in mild but startling pain as her cervix is bumped. “Oh, goodness, that was just a bit too fast…”

 

“Awww, did my widdle honey bunny get a boo-boo? Need me to kwiss it better?” Amethyst teases, folding her arms behind her head. “Seriously, though, P. Don’t get too enthusiastic.”

 

Pearl sticks her tongue out.

 

“You gonna start moving or just sit there?”

 

“Hmmm,” Pearl hums, lifting herself a tad. She closes her eyes and grins smugly to herself, hands on her hips (she’s so toned she can do the whole thing handsfree), looking like she’s found her throne and getting fucked is her damn right as pompous queen. She sniffs. “Why, I think I’ll just sit here for awhile and enjoy myself.”

 

Of course, Amethyst can’t feel a thing besides the weight atop her. It’s fake and strapped to her body. But it doesn’t matter: again, it was all in the visuals. They were both about to go into full heat for the first time since Amethyst’s pregnancy any second now, ripened flowers ready to burst in bloom, and the evidence of it was mightily beautiful. Pearl’s playfulness, her energy, her sillier demeanor, her lips — not just the ones on her mouth, that is; Amethyst has a thing for nice labia and Pearl’s were about as lovely as could get — her tinglingly itchy skin, her anxiety, her breasts, swollen and fuller, her drenched sex. Everything.

 

Amethyst loves it all so much she doesn’t know what to say. She resorts to actions instead. The younger snorts at her mate’s faux, exaggerated pretentiousness, and her hand glides to a thigh, thumb landing firmly on Pearl’s glossy clit.

 

Pearl gasps and her limbs wobble. It feels so good and the thumb isn’t even rubbing, just pressing on her. Her vision has gone hazy, but she doesn’t need to see Amethyst’s smirk to know it’s there.

 

Amethyst wiggles the pad of her finger humbly, just barely nudging the perky nub up and down. She aims for that sweet spot right under the hood, and Pearl’s voice cracks like static as sparks creep up her spine and pool in the top of her head.

 

She gulps a deep breath to regain herself, swatting Amethyst’s hand away and replacing it with her own. “I’ll take care of that myself,” she declares, shallowly rolling her hips. “You’re lazy and never want to do the work, anyways.”

 

Though she knows Pearl is just messing with her — the twinkle of her single opened eye and flirtatious toothy smile giving her away plenty — Amethyst gasps in offense anyways, her ego cattle-prodded. “Damn, Pearl!” she barks, grabbing her mate’s hips to pull her up and off with a startled ‘eek!’. “I’ll show you lazy!”

 

She flips Pearl over and tosses her tiny body on the bed. It happens fast: the gem fumbles awkwardly on her hands and knees for a brief moment, but then her heat-addled brain registers her position and everything clicks into place. Her shoulders perk, her head raises, and her back beautifully arches downwards to in turn hike her ass up and present herself to her mate, eager to be mounted. 

 

Amethyst doesn’t waste a single damn second doing exactly that. She claims Pearl’s hips and fills her obscenely wet sex to the hilt with a single heavy thrust, earning a squeak and an insanely hot moan.

 

“Ah!” Pearl gasps, not from pain but from delicious pleasure as her mate pumps in and out of her mercilessly, stretching and rubbing her inner walls. “Amethyst, you — oh — mmmh!”

 

“What’s that, Pearl?!” Amethyst barks, reaching under to stroke Pearl’s adorable clit while fucking her so hard the headboard shakes and her upper body sinks. Every roll of Pearl’s pelvis against her has another wave of her mate’s delicious, inviting musk wafting through the air, bathing her face. She licks her lips, tasting what’s landed there. “How’s this for lazy, babe?! I bet you’re already trying not to cum, you brat!”

 

The mutual giggles start pouring from Pearl’s throat, endlessly amused by their banter. “Pffft…I — oh…ahahaha…goodness, yes, yes, please, harder! — I — I, ah, haha, I t-take everything — ngh — back!”

 

“Yeah, that’s right. Maybe now you’ll start bein’ grateful.” Amethyst gives a sharp pinch to Pearl’s ass, making her squeal and snicker and shoot a look over her shoulder. Amethyst laughs with her, thrusting harder — the rough, mindless, loving sex, the pleasure both cerebral and physical.

 

Pearl’s body was hers. It felt like hers. All hers; no one else’s, and she had every right to be wet and throbbing and horny and disgusting and to enjoy herself with a lover and nobody could ever steal that from her ever again. She was the receiver, but she chose Amethyst to take her, and in that choice was her liberation, her freedom.

 

Their fucking turns into something a bit more passionate, Amethyst now entirely focused on making Pearl come and, wanting to see her face twisting and scrunching, she pulls out and flips her onto her back to reenter. She dots feathery kisses all over her warm neck and one hand lifts Pearl’s lower back while the other pushes her pubic mound down, angling her thrusts upwards so they’re forced to graze against the sweet spot inside of her. Pearl, face aflame, bites a bruise into her lip, clutches the sheets above her with both hands in response — form shiny with sweat, tilting her chin back so her throat is on full display.

 

Knowing her mate is close, Amethyst angles her hips so that her pelvis smacks into Pearl’s clit with each pump and latches onto her neck to suck. She delivers several hard, deep thrusts into her — once, twice, three times and Pearl is done, her whole everything quaking with the force of her orgasm. Amethyst watches her shudder and shake and spasm — and just when she thinks the pleasure is waning, Pearl is hit with another fresh wave of delicious contractions, arching. It’s probably the longest Amethyst has ever seen her climax, and it inflates her ego to the size of a damn blue whale. The other gem’s muscles are gripping so tight she can’t pull out, each bit of pleasure that Pearl milks like a dissolving drop of food colouring.

 

When Pearl finishes, she looks just about dead. Amethyst is so absorbed with watching her that she doesn’t notice the rush of warm, gushing liquid leaking against her thighs until a few moments later. When she sits back on her haunches to get a look, she sees it’s Pearl’s release drooling around the toy, dripping down her legs and leaving a wet puddle on the sheets. Eyes wide, Amethyst pulls out of her.

 

“I’m sorry,” Pearl whimpers in embarrassment, covering her mouth. “We should have put a towel down beforehand…”

 

Amethyst tears the harness off herself and throws it somewhere, making two lines from the same gem ring in her mind: “Don’t just throw our sex toys, Amethyst!” and “Platinum cure silicone is extremely durable. It can even be sterilised by boiling!” Pick one or the other, Pearl. 

 

“Pearl, are you kiddin’ me?!” Amethyst laughs, pecking her again. “That was insanely hot. Did that feel as good as it looked?”

 

“Better,” Pearl dreamily sighs.

 

“Hell yeah!” her mate boasts. She rolls off and grabs Pearl into a side-hug with one arm, walking a couple fingers up the other’s spine to help her relax. “You remind me of a girl from a cheesy movie right now. I’m talkin’ cheesier than Parmesan, but people like Vidalia swoon over it anyways. Like, okay, get this: we’re the hetero couple — I’m the dude, obviously — road tripping to go see your parents, and we stop by a hotel, right? So we rent the luxury room.” Her tone deepens. “Fast forward. We’re lying on the bed. Condoms and expensive perfume magically appear. I enter you. Within three seconds you are writhing and squirting and gasping in pleasure and coming your brains out without even touching your clit even though that’s not how it works, likeee…ever! Then you roll over and fall asleep while I smugly grin at the camera like a douchebag.”

 

Pearl is beside herself laughing. She swats Amethyst on the shoulder. “Amethyst! You and that ego of yours!” Little snorts interrupt her giggles. 

 

Amethyst shoots her a flirtatious grin, chest rising and falling with her own laughter. “Ahhh, man. Why don’t they show this in the movies?”

  
  
“What do you mean?” Pearl hums, tracing circles on her shiny belly.

 

“Y’know…” Amethyst begins, gesturing to all of them. “The gross sweat. The lube. The laughing. The jokes. The fumbling straps, the word ‘dildo’—…just, like, when are we gonna have seamless, flowery sex in the missionary position without you elbowing me in the side too?”

 

“I think you’ve answered your own question,” Pearl says. “It’s seamless — flawless. Perfectionism… Humans don’t like to imagine sex or any form of pleasing their partners as being messy or occasionally awkward. It’s dressed up; shaved until only the so-called ‘best’ parts remain.” She sighs in relaxation, draping both arms around Amethyst’s neck. “To be honest with you, I’m not always certain as to whether this is nature, or nurture. But regardless, humans should learn to be human.”

 

Amethyst doesn’t know what to make of this. Pearl, criticising performance anxiety? In the early days of their sexual escapades, she had turned out to be just as much of a perfectionist in the bedroom as she was outside of it. Clean, precise: there had to be towels surrounding them, and if any fluids touched her hand beyond the inserted fingers, she’d promptly pull out and wipe it off. 

 

Awkward, too, but unknowingly. Just like her social skills, she knew the general process, the organs involved, anatomy, health and safety: the basic foundation, the framework, the rules but not when to break them. She was stiff as a board in any position, her jaw locked up, she was baffled by the idea of anyone putting their mouth near or on her bits, and the first time Amethyst had ever touched her breast she had asked with the most earnest look on her face “What are you doing that for?” 

 

She was mortified with her body’s ability to be improper — and frankly, Amethyst didn’t blame her for it. She was part of a class on Homeworld that forbade her from carnal pleasure; that taught her to be clean, prim, proper, and of course, nonsexual. Her independence was taken from her all the way down to the basic right to her own form. 

 

Amethyst had plenty of experience with performance issues herself, anyways. Pearl’s severe sexual anxiety had led her to be anorgasmic and no matter how many times she assured her that it was nobody’s fault and least of all hers, Amethyst still felt completely and utterly defeated every time her roving hand was pushed away with a shy little “I’m sorry, but I don’t think it’s going to happen…”

 

But now, Pearl was nakedly lying in a puddle of her own ejaculate, half-asleep on Amethyst’s chest and drooling wildly. Everything about the image screamed progress. And beauty, too. Only Pearl can drool and crush her tits while looking like a damn supermodel. 

 

* * *

 

“Peaaarl!” Amethyst scolds, pushing her needy lover away with a hand on her face. She desperately tries to puff breaths out rather than in, as to not inhale any more of her mate’s overpowering heat scent. “Stop mackin’ on me! I gotta fight the Fiend.”

 

A kiss is pecked on her collar in response, lips trailing up to her chin. “It’s fine,” Pearl breathes, warm and sweet. She wraps her arms around Amethyst’s neck and worms her way into her lap. “We can cover ourselves with the blanket.”

 

“Stop bein’ such a ham!” Oh, how the tables have turned. “I gotta make oil for my sword.”

 

Pearl whines, her skin itching badly, reaching out to move the analog stick and press [x] so the crafting screen opens. “You have me to thank for even leveling you up enough to do this quest.”

 

Smirking, Amethyst leans over and whispers in her ear. “Imma thank you later. With mah mouth.”

 

Pearl's pupils stretch and her face blanks as the sentence sinks in. Then she gives the other a knowing, flirtatious look and flops over, head in Amethyst’s lap.

 

"Yeah, that's more like it."

 

Sated.

 

Pearl's a half-empty kind of gal, but right now, the glass is half-full, too. She can admit that. Amethyst doesn’t give a shit about such nonsense: the glass’s contents are about to be demolished so long as she’s nearby. She’s just savoring the dwindling hours of minor relaxation they have left before the heat really kicks in and they start going nuts. She rests her controller-holding hands atop Pearl’s head and occasionally gives her well-groomed mane a scratch, making the dancer purr like a happy cat.

 

Sometimes Amethyst can’t tell if she’s good with words or if it’s just her darling’s sensitivity to any and all stimuli. One time Amethyst pulled out the “what’s cooking, good looking” card while Pearl was making dinner and her panties were utterly ruined. She didn’t even care that Amethyst was picking her nose at the time.

 

She was still largely hesitant to display affection in public, though having children was beginning to change this significantly. One time she’d given Amethyst a kiss at the grocery store and a little boy promptly pulled on his mother's sleeve and informed her: “Mommy, those two ladies are kissing!” It wasn’t the woman’s negative reaction that had bothered Pearl — quite the opposite, actually. Her overly positive attitude was the problem. Who wouldn’t be embarrassed by a stranger pulling them aside to tell them how they also had ‘flicks with women’ back in their day?

 

In the present, Pearl gets a good look at how her gemlings are playing on the floor while enjoying a back rub and the satisfyingly clicky buttons of the video game controller.

 

Ivory — wearing a black hoodie with crimson devil horns and text that reads “When I was born, Devil said: “Uh-oh, competition!” — is forming tiny blue bubbles. Lilac, who’s sandwiched between a pillow and its case, pops them with a finger…and then Mauve commences the delightful orchestra of resulting gemling giggles. They’re hilariously loud, cheeks puffing with air, mouths covered much like Pearl stifles her own laughter. 

 

It warms the new mother's heart and she finds herself bringing her own hands up, forming a much larger bubble that has the babies’ eyes sparkling. It touches the tip of her nose, however, and promptly pops. Pearl grumbles.

 

“Hahaha,” Amethyst teases, sticking her tongue out. Pearl pinches it between her fingers and tugs. “Ah! Poll!”

 

“Pull! Pull!” Lilac cheers, mistaking the word. She points at her purple-blue pillow, and her siblings crawl inside the pillowcase with her. “Loo’, pull!”

 

Pearl smiles, releasing Amethyst’s tongue and wiping the saliva on her mate’s pants. “Yes, dear, I know. You love your pull-ow.”

 

“So smart,” Amethyst sighs dreamily, proudly, mashing buttons. “What can I say? They get it from me.”

 

“Smar’!” Lilac sounds.

 

“Very smar’,” Pearl agrees. Suddenly, Ivory pulls on the little amethyst’s ear and Lilac screams in dismay, rolling over to take her sister on while Mauve rediscovers that she has toes and has another existential crisis. “Oh, my,” their mother says. “They’re just like you when you were younger, Amethyst. So rambunctious and silly.”

 

“D’awww, Sweet P! You’re takin’ me back to the old days. Remember when we first met? You were just strollin’ around, thinking I was some stray Homeworld spy and I was checking you, the new pretty lady, out—“

 

“That’s an interesting twist,” Pearl interrupts. “On my side of the story, you were circling me in the shadows, like some kind of enemy…”

 

“Seriously? I was like…two feet tall! C’mon, Pearl. Anyways, I LEAPED out and pounced on you and said “HI!” with one of my famous Amesmiles and you just — pfft— you totally just — toppled over! I wish you coulda seen your face!”

 

“Hmmmmgh…” 

 

“You were pointing the not-so-nice end of your spear at me and yapping on about Homeworld this and Homeworld that and I just wanted to show you my handstands! Did I ever show you my handstands?!”

 

“You show me your handstands every day.”

 

“Oh man! You were so confused!” Amethyst snickers away. “Then you scooped me up and brought me to your alien leader. Boy, how the times have changed! We’ve come a looong way since then, huh? You putting babies in my belly and all…” Her hand goes to Pearl’s back, sliding under her shirt and up to massage her back, tingle-prickly from her heat. “Came outta my hole, and now the only hole I go in is yours. It’s pretty much the greatest love story ever.”

 

“Oh,” Pearl says, touched. “Implied vulgarity aside, that’s actually quite sweet.” Her voice is drowsy, lulled to relaxation. “That feels good, Amethyst.”

 

“Good,” Amethyst replies. She lifts a finger to each of Pearl’s soft lids and gently shuts them, one at a time. “Why don’t you take a good rest for me, P? ’kay? Keep ‘em closed. Yeah, just like that. I’ll watch the kids. How’s that sound?”

 

“Yes,” Pearl agrees. “Alright.”

 

Just when Pearl is beginning to fall asleep, Peridot barges in. “PEARL! AMETHYST! PEARLMETHYST! …GUYS—!!!” she screams in despair, making Pearl shriek and scramble into a seat on Amethyst’s lap. She clings desperately to her mate, hair frazzled and chest heaving. 

 

“Why, hello! Greetings, womb-troops!” Peridot says to the gemlings, rather kind to them now that she’s gotten over all the grumpiness and pessimism regarding relationships and love that Pearl and Amethyst’s prosperity stirred up in her. The little gems scramble over to her feet, even Mauve — in last place — and Peridot squats down to pet each of their hyperactive heads to much fanfare.

 

“Ughhh, PERIDOT!” Amethyst complains. Pearl glares at the green gem, burying her face in a purple neck. “Can’t you see the lady’s tryin’ to take a nap?! Urgh, I’m the only one who’s allowed to annoy Pearl like that…”

 

She tosses her controller aside, leaving Geralt mounted on his horse in the middle of a trail. “Looks like rain,” the character declares as the weather status bubble changes to ‘rain’ and virtual stormclouds gather overhead. 

 

“SHIT!” Amethyst yelps as Mauve, out of fucking nowhere, grabs the controller and starts to feed it into her gem. She’d just recently figured out how to store things in her stone (thanks, Pearl) and had stolen a number of important items, including $100 in grocery money, Greg’s keys and two energy drinks. “Mauve, put that down RIGHT NOW!” she pleads, making the gemling stop and stare at her. There’s a pause and then the controller slowly continues to disappear into her head. “I’m your mom! You have to listen to me! It’s, like, the rules of momming! Nononono, please — NOOO—!!” 

 

“Oh dear,” Pearl murmurs. Amethyst’s head falls into her one free hand in defeat.

 

Realising she’s lost their attention, Peridot flails her arms around. “You two! It’s an emergency!” 

 

Pearl lifts an eyebrow in concern. “Is everything alright?”

 

“How…” Peridot begins, air heavy with possible endings, “…eugh!” 

 

She coughs thickly after approaching, waving her hand in front of her nose like she’s walked into a cloud of cloying perfume. Her eyes start watering. The scent is trapped in her throat, tasting like she drank spa water mixed with the sweat of fairies. “You two are going into heat! For the love of — air this room out already!” she hacks. “I can’t breathe!”

 

“Okay, that’s actually fair,” Amethyst states. “We need to put bowls of baking soda out or something, P. We’re reeking like…like male models. Like gay ones.”

 

“You certainly are taking your time explaining this urgent emergency, Peridot,” Pearl points out into Amethyst’s neck, annoyed pupils narrow and slitted.

 

“How do you kiss someone?” Peridot finishes.

 

Pearl and Amethyst stare at her. And then, Pearl’s jaw drops. She is in utter shock — both at the fact that this is the emergency that so rudely disturbed her, and that it’s coming from this mouth in particular. Amethyst is trying so hard not to laugh (not only at the stupid inquiry but at her mate’s face) she’s trembling. Two tears prick her eyes.

 

“I dunno,” she wheezes, “why don’t you ask the strange blue lady in your barn for some hands-on experience?”

 

“Amethyst!” Pearl giggles, swatting her arm playfully. “Don’t tease her too much or else we’ll be short a babysitter.”

 

“Grhhhhgh!” Peridot growls at them. “Tell me!”

 

“Like this!” Amethyst chirps, pushing Pearl down and absolutely smothering her face in loving kisses. 

 

Pearl squirms, laughing and trying to push her mate away as those full lips plant repeatedly all over her ticklish neck and cheeks. “Ah!” she snorts. “Ahahahaha! Please! Have mercy, you — you brute!” 

 

Amethyst finds her lips with their own and they waltz, nice and slow and gentle. The pair whisper silly coos and teases to one another in between each peck, nuzzling cheeks. Their eyes are closed and their lips are curved into lovesick smiles, Pearl’s eyebrows lifting and wagging in mild suggestiveness every time she gets a particularly good kiss. The gemlings want in on it, naturally, and hop up on the couch, fitting themselves in between their parents to hug them tightly and snuggle up, delivering their own tiny kisses.

 

Peridot is well aware that she’s witnessing a heartwarming family moment. She’s also aware that she’s simultaneously witnessing the equivalent of two gross high schoolers making out on a bench. She digs her fingers into her hair and pulls in utter frustration.

 

“Why do I even bother?!” she groans. “I should have just asked the interne—“

 

Amethyst pulls away for a second to look at her. Pearl’s arms are still wound around her neck and she decorates her cheek and jaw with fluttery kisses and nips, lost in her drunken daze. “Dude,” she sighs. “Okay, this is like, the corniest thing I’ve ever said outside of the bedroom, but — you gotta know the person you’re kissing to be really good at it. Like, actually good. Oh, God, Pearl’s rubbing off on me.”

 

Her mate gives her a proud smile so big her face hurts, mentally storing away all the lines she can use to tease her in the future.

 

“Look, we can tell you to pucker your lips and turn your head to the side, but that’s like saying you’re done a house when all you’ve got is a blueprint.” Her face starts blazing. “When I kiss Pearl, I can pretty much instantly tell how slow or fast she wants it or where she wants me to…caress…her…uh…’cause I know her silent language, maaaan. It’s experience. You’ve just gotta take that plunge, y’know? You can plan stuff out, sure,but a true craft master knows how to adjust and go with the tide. Literally. ‘Cause water. This is about Lapis, isn’t i—“

 

The door opens again, but this time quite politely: it’s Steven, and he actually has manners. “Hey guys!”

 

“Steeevennn!” Peridot greets excitedly. 

 

“Hey Peri!” the boy chimes, before his tone grows a bit serious. “Um…Amethyst?”

 

“Wazzuppp?” 

 

“Are you the one who took two hundred and seventy-three pictures of Pearl standing in the kitchen looking off in the distance?” he asks, holding his phone up. A zoomed-in shot is on the screen.

 

“Ohhh, hahahaha, yeah, that was me, alright!” she snorts, clutching her stomach with a cheery grin. “Look at her face in those pics, my man. She’s so deep in thought! It looks like she’s debating the root of all human evil with herself in her head.”

 

“What?!” Pearl squawks, marching over to Steven and grabbing his phone from him. She looks at the image of her zoned out self and gasps. “I was thinking of what to make for DINNER! When — w-when did you take these?! I’m deleting this whole gallery, right now!”

 

“Oh no you’re not!” Amethyst screeches, darting after her. “GET BACK HERE!”

 

“AMETHYST!” Pearl yells, racing out the door with her mate following her.

 

“IT’S MY ARTISTIC CREATION!” 

 

The door slams shut, leaving Peridot, Steven and three chirping gemlings.

 

“…Steven…” the gem starts after a good minute of silence, “have you ever…kissed…anyone?”

 

“No,” he sighs. “I mean, I’ve gotten close, but Pearl always tells me I’ll get mono…” He trails off, leaving the sentence to hang in the air until he registers the gemlings. “Oh jeez. Oh gosh. The babies!”

 

“Pull,” Lilac cheers, flopping onto her pillow. “Pull, pull!”

 

The sight is adorable, but he’s not comforted. He’s not supposed to be left alone with the gemlings. Still much like a baby himself, Steven has zero confidence that he take care of the things without supervision or what kind of powers they’re gonna whip out. Sure, there’s Peridot, but really prefers having Pearl and Amethyst or Garnet around…

 

They’re so cute he can’t stand it. Normally he’d gush over Ivory and Mauve play-wrestling, but now he’s — almost — alone with them. What if they get injured or something bad happens?! He knows Pearl would never hurt him, but ever since Amethyst got pregnant, she’s been acting kind of…feral and defensive. More like an animal. She’s changing. Pearl might be graceful and thin and sure, she wears spandex shorts, but she was still a gem with a mighty power beyond any human’s and would violently, ferociously protect her disturbed loved ones with all her raw strength if they were ever disturbed.

 

His chest tightens and his head spins. What does he do?! He needs authority! Pearl had taken Jasper on in the war and lived to tell the tale!  


 

“Relaaax, Steven!” Peridot scolds lightly, cutting through his thoughts and grounding him again. “Lapis and I are pros at this!” She bends over and picks up a stuffed sheep. “If they get near you, just distract them from whatever antagonist plot they have in mind by wiggling this cartoonish device! For the most part, I’ve found that these little creatures do their own ‘thing’.”

 

“Y-yeah!” Steven stammers. “Their own thing. Right.” He releases a deep breath and forces a smile. 

 

“Would you like to read my research notes?”

 

“Maybe later…” Much to his relief, the gemlings perk up like they’ve heard a noise and disappear into the nest. “Oh, good!”

 

As soon as the words leave his mouth, Lions scrambles out and roars at Steven desperately, pointing with his nose into the nest like he’s trying to tell or show him something.

 

“What’s up, buddy?” he asks, poking his head in. “…Oh jeez,” he starts again. A cracking noise sounds. “Oh gosh. Okay, um — oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. PERIII! Go get Pearl and Amethyst! THE OTHER BABY’S HATCHING!”


	16. overdue (pt.1)

Peridot forgot how big the world really is until she had to go out and find a group of gems all over again, especially with no tech to help her. She’s always been the kind to get trapped in a bubble, after all. Literally. 

 

Pearl and Amethyst could be anywhere. Out at sea, warped off to Canada, on the moon…

 

Turns out they’re just rolling around outside in the sand, Amethyst grabbing at the phone in Pearl’s hand. Peridot halts abruptly when she notices them, panting heavily from her much too overzealous trek down the flight of stairs with her short legs. She gasps briskly, hands on her knees.

 

**“Guys!”** she cries, loud enough to split ears despite standing a literal foot away from the two. “Come back! The runt of your litter is **hatching!”**

 

The pair’s eyes widen, and their bickering ceases instantly. Without a word, they scramble to their feet and whirl past Peridot. 

 

Pearl doesn’t even bother wiping sand off of herself. That’s a first.

 

* * *

 

There are nine heads gathered around her total. Amethyst, Pearl, Garnet, Peridot, Steven, Lion, Lilac, Mauveine, and Ivory. Pearl’s face is rigid, but it’s to keep herself calm and focused while her mate nail-bites so furiously it’s a wonder that flayed shavings aren’t spraying everywhere. If Amethyst didn’t need her to be a leader right now, Pearl’s truly excited self would be trembling and squealing uncontrollably.

 

The others have stepped away to let the parents do their instinctual job. Well, parent. Amethyst is so anxious and lacking in dexterity in comparison to her partner that she’s handed things over to Pearl completely.

 

A good choice, frankly. Her fingers are skilled with a delicate nimbleness that’s inherent to being a pearl and a trained toughness that she worked for. The little cracks forming are incredibly disproportionate to the size of the egg itself, as if the gemling inside is struggling to get out due to sheer surface area.

 

“Pearl!” Amethyst wheezes, panicked. “She’s stuck! She’s not gonna—“

 

“It's alright,” Pearl interrupts, stern yet gentle like silk. “It means that the shell is formed exceptionally well.”

 

“Calm down, Amethyst.” Garnet lays a hand on her shoulder, before snatching the roving gemlings off the table so they stop prodding and sniffing and bothering the new hatchling. They squirm in the leader’s sturdy arms, but she has absolutely no plans to let go any time soon.

 

Another crack spiderwebs down the purple surface, earning gasps of delight. “Oh! Yes! There we go!” Pearl encourages, focused lips breaking into a wide smile of determination. The tiniest chirp sounds from inside the wobbling egg — **“I heee~aaar someone! ♪”** — and it jitters even more erratically, prompting the gemlings to squeak back at their emerging sister, loud and shrill. Their efforts to escape Garnet’s grasp double, kicking and fighting, too excited to try and form words. They hadn’t quite yet mastered how to balance both new emotions and sensations with all the effort it took to produce the utter wizardry known as ‘language’.

 

Amethyst trembles like an earthquake at the auditory confirmation that her last daughter has truly, really been alive since the day she had been laid. She covers her eyes, unable to watch just in case something is wrong. 

 

“Woahhh! Pearl! **Pearl!** I see a gemling!” Steven screams, and Amethyst peeks between her fingers just in time to see her mate, to see Pearl, peeling shards away — pushing her left thumb’s nail into the longest, thinnest crack, the one zig-zagging right down the middle. She pierces it, punctures it, slips her fingers inside, does the same up top, liquid seeping between her digits. The grasp of her fingers closes and clutches and then in one fluid motion, Pearl gives a mighty pull, bottom hand stretching to the left, top to the right, splitting the egg into two halves at exactly the same time that Violet pushes herself out. 

 

To a loud, resounding cheer from all of the gems, the contents of the final egg spill into Pearl’s palms: mucous membranes and a ferociously chirpy little gemling. Violet’s siblings free themselves from Garnet at last and land on the table to greet her, and Pearl’s joyful “About **time** you showed yourself, sweetheart!” gongs like a holy bell. 

 

Amethyst nearly faints.

 

* * *

She is, of course, absolutely perfect. 

 

“But she’s a runt!” one might say. “Sure is,” Amethyst would cheerily reply. “And she’s covered in birthmarks—“ “Yeah, this one’s the coolest!”

 

Being a mother has given Amethyst a new appreciation of Pearl’s everyday battle with anxiety. As a gem who was usually so grounded in the present, she now more clearly understood the future-fretting that was Pearl’s trademark. Turns out the anticipation was always worse than the actual thing. Good lord, was it worse.

 

Amethyst thought that facing her own runty offspring would stir up quite a lot of shame and insecurity in herself, not just as a being but in her reproductive capabilities, too. It was like a mirror, another reminder of her own perceived flaws. Maybe it’s simply washed out by excitement for now, but the thought of wrongness hasn’t entered Amethyst’s brain even once since Violet met the world. The second she saw her mate with their four daughters all together, her worries melted away in an instant. She’s never felt more home.

 

Violet is beautiful. Her skin tone is a spunky purple, the same as her mama’s, with baby blue eyes and short cream hair identical to the haircut Amethyst had when she was younger. She is an obvious runt, delicate and tiny with her hexagonal gemstone in the middle of her chest. What is most striking, however, are the birthmarks. 

 

Just like Pearl predicted by her egg, she is covered in them. The whole right side of her face is blotched by a shadowy purple blemish — something like a port-wine stain, it seems — extending over the bridge of her nose and stopping abruptly. Another dark splash rings her left eye, making her look like a panda. She has several more of these ‘salmon patches’ as well as café au lait marks on her chest, shoulders and upper back; to top it off, all of the birthmarked spots (especially her face) were deeply freckled, dotted by an uncountable amount of flecks. Even some white ones were thrown in. Her forehead, her cheeks, her nose… She had dimples, too, ones that rose like the sun. Absolutely stunning.

 

Pearl had shown Amethyst some images of birthmarks in a medical journal before Violet hatched. Lord knows why she pranced around with shit like that stashed away in her gemstone. Not even a lover can fully understand an enigma. They had been documented for reference by practitioners trying to find the best treatments for pigmentation and hopefully an eventual foolproof cure.

 

That was something Amethyst couldn’t comprehend most of the time. Freckles, scars, stains, blemishes…that was all the diversity of the human (or gem) body, man. Embrace it. She’d love her daughters no matter what.

 

Looking at said daughters now, her opinion remained the same. The contrast between Violet’s near black birthmarks and her bright purple skin seemed almost symbolic of her relationship with Pearl: how they were different, but complimented each other incredibly well; how they’d always end up together despite the clashes, despite everything. They needed the differences to find **balance**. 

 

Or maybe not. Amethyst was no philosopher. Smarter than most gave her credit for, artistically smart, but thinking too much made her lose touch with what was real, so she shrugged stuff off, grounded herself at the sad cost of seeming shallow to people around her. Not everything had to have some deep meaning, though. Simplicity was allowed to exist.

 

“It’s another push for flawlessness,” Pearl offered. 

 

“The perfection’s all **in** the wrongness,” Amethyst offered back. She loved uniqueness. She mated someone with an entirely different body type. She knew her own form well enough, knew the chub of her belly or the heaviness of her breasts; had gotten bored of touching only herself, wanted to feel a narrower slope of the hips and how it’d feel to skim her fingers over toned muscles and rib ridges and through short hair instead. Not because she was better nor because she was worse, but because she was easily bored and craved some diversity. Pearl was every bit as womanly as she was, just arranged differently. “It’d be maaad boring if we all looked the same, yo.” 

 

“You say that so earnestly,” Pearl says. “Eloquently. Why don’t you regularly say the same of yourself?” 

 

Amethyst flushed, pursed her lips, blew a strand of hair out of her face, folded her arms. “ **You’re** the cheesy one,” she finally declared, looking up at the ceiling. “Not me.” 

 

“Hm.” 

 

It’s too soon to tell the baby’s full personality, naturally. The others had readily developed and adjusted within just a few months, although the general ‘core’ of their character still remained — true to the base, just varied, adapted to new experiences. What they could get was that Violet was incredibly loud, incredibly hyper, incredibly energetic, extremely loving. She was hyperactive, noisy and eager to greet the universe. She took no problem with whoever was holding her, just the act of being held itself, as she had no patience to be carried when there were things to explore and weird sounds to make and sisters to cause trouble with. Right now she was so exhausted she’d curled up in her basket again, right back under the blankets. They were all sleepers, the gemlings, just like Pearl suggested they might enjoy doing. Looks like she’d spent so long chilling in her egg in there it’d grown to be her ‘spot’. 

 

Her siblings didn’t like that too much. “Play, play, play!” they wanted. Funny little girls.

 

Meanwhile, the scent of Pearl’s heat lingers in the spot Amethyst stands at. The gem shudders and her brain fogs up. Pearl’s heat smelled so damn amazing. It always had. It was the most potent to her, being Pearl’s mate, strong to other unrelated gems, and undetectable to humans, who could only register that the air around the gem felt thicker and heavier.

 

She allows herself to be carried away as though it’s a potent aphrodisiac. All she can think about is the romp they had earlier. It was so lovely, really. Pearl was such a sensitive individual. That wasn’t to say that she couldn’t handle roughhousing, no. She was a former soldier and appreciated a nice thwap to the ass. It meant that everything she felt, she felt with Earth-shatteringly wholesome **intensity**. That was why the waterworks came on so often after sex. Alarming, it had been, the first few times, but Amethyst quickly figured out that Pearl had felt so loved and happy she couldn’t hold it back. Amethyst had literally fucked her to happy tears. 

 

She’d also quickly learned to not spell out the national anthem with her tongue, because Pearl will realise it mid-cunnilingus and she will get blueballed and fall silent for the rest of the night.

 

Amethyst groans, forcing herself out of her thoughts. She needs to stop thinking about sex with Pearl or else she’s going to pass out. Don’t resist the heat. Don’t stop it, either. Let it be, but don’t feed it.

 

A slight tug to one of her leggings makes her turn, greeted by the sight of crawling Mauveine. “Heeey, kiddo!” she greets, scooping her daughter up into her arms. “Still can’t walk, huh? S’all good. You go at your own pace.” She pats the gemling’s head, brushing shaggy fringe out of eyes to reveal that icy gaze. “What’s up? Not into shredding up…uh…whatever your sisters are doing over there?” Amethyst nods in their direction, wincing as (brand new) pillow feathers are tossed up in the air. Oh, God, Pearl’s gonna kill her. 

 

“Mommy,” Mauve says, slapping a palm on the window and peering outside.

 

“She’ll be back real soon!" Amethyst assures her child, momentarily distracted. "She just went out for a bit, s’all.”

 

“Why?” 

 

Amethyst fumbles, unsure how to explain in a manner that is honest yet not oversharing. Ugh! They’d agreed beforehand that this would be Pearl’s job.

 

“Okay, well, uh…” she stammers. “Every few months your mom and me go through something only big gems get. It gives us looots and **looots** of energy and can make us act a little funny sometimes! Like, that’s why I cleaned the whole house earlier and why she cooked me four consecutive plates of pancakes. Sometimes your mom can’t handle all that energy and she gets reaaally anxious and restless and gets bad thoughts. Like how your sisters always get the wiggles! Yep, she’s got a real bad case of the wiggles, so she’s gotta go out and exercise and wear herself out so she doesn’t go nuts. Right now she’s actually out gettin’ car seats and strollers so you guys can come with us and not run away outside like you usually do!”

 

“Oh,” Mauve says plainly. Her pupils glimmer with intelligent understanding, but Amethyst is suspicious. 

 

“How much of that did you really understand with that big noggin’ of yours?” she asks, teasingly clinking Mauve’s oversized forehead gem with a finger. 

 

Mauve clicks her tongue, trying to mimic the sound. She points out the window and chirps. 

 

“You like the stars, huh? Yeah, so does Pearl. It’s called astronomy."

 

The little pearl squeaks again.

 

“Hey, didja know that’s where mommy an’ Aunt Garnet are from?” Mauve gives her a ‘no way’ look, eyes boggling with the innocence of youth comprehending the enormity of the universe for the very first time. “Yep! From space. Uh…everyone was so jealous of her stunning good looks and giant gemstone that they banished her to Earth with her fellow good-looking buds.” 

 

Amethyst stares right back into the blue portals of Mauveine’s eyes. Sometimes it’s hard even for her to tell if she’s shy, bitter or both. She has so much serenity about her, but much like the pearl that sired her, it’s all just a cover for whatever storm is raging inside. Like a lid on a blender. 

 

“We’ll tell you more about it later. When you can speak in full sentences, maybe?”

 

The sound of something tearing makes Amethyst jump. She whips around. “Gah! Oh my **God,** you three!” she scolds in disbelief, glaring intensely at Violet, Lilac and Ivory on the floor, covered in the fluffy innards of a pillow. “I totally forgot! How come every time you guys wanna cause trouble I can’t join in?! And when the heck did you climb out of your basket, newcomer?! Blah! I gotta be a mom!”

 

She marches over and firmly seats Mauve on the couch, then kneels down and starts ‘cleaning’. Or, in other words, scooping up handfuls of feathers and eating them while tossing the rest into the nest. Cozy bedding. She’d hate to be called wasteful. Sure, she was a hoarder, but everything got its own place and nothing was left behind. It made sense, right?

 

“This is a new pillow, man.” She snatches the shredded pillowcase from Lilac’s robust hands. The gemling smiles sheepishly, quite shy of being caught misbehaving. “Know why it’s new?! ‘Cause you tore the last one up too!”

 

Violet crawls onto Lilac’s back and starts biting at her head, plucking stray feathers out of her pale mane while her sister broods. Ivory has a boastful, smug look on her face. Amethyst ruffles her head, mussing up her coral hair. 

 

“Yeah, yeah, I already knew it was you who started it. Look, I know you wanna be a big bad rebel pearl like your mama, but trust me when I say she hasn’t always been cooler than a frozen cucumber. I mean, you should’a seen her back in the ‘80s! She had **legwarmers!** Says it’s something ballerinas wear to keep the muscles warm so they don’t cramp up, but I ain’t buyin’ it! She totally wanted to look like Madonna. Material Pearl in a material world!”

 

The chubby mom laughs to herself, then flops on the couch and cracks her back with a plentiful sigh.

 

A while ago, Pearl had told her that Homeworld really valued quantity over quality when it came to reproduction. She didn’t understand and didn’t care to ask, but it turns out she didn’t need to. It made sense now. Homeworld cared about making tons of gems — she and Pearl had ‘just’ quadruplets, but most quartzes (who were extremely fertile, since they needed so many of them) had eight, eight to ten! — over how well the mothers could actually care for that many kids. The clutch sizes were the quantity, stressed mommas were the quality…

 

Amethyst was baffled. Ten gemlings at once! Human moms could often barely deal with one, and she and Pearl were granted four kids and zero real experience right off the bat. She was struggling. She needed more hands to hold all these freakin’ babies. Lapis Lazuli and Peridot couldn’t be here every waking moment to help out when the temple crew was busy — well, okay, they probably could, as whatever the hell they were doing at the barn wasn’t world changing or anything — and her daughters were dashing and darting and squirming everywhere. By the time she caught one, another had wandered off, and the house seemed to have grown three times its size. There were so may electrical sockets to plug up, so many hiding spots… 

 

How did Pearl do this?

 

No, no. Pearl struggled without Amethyst **too**. She wasn’t weaker, she was capable, and they were in this together. Amethyst was gonna wrangle these kids. She was gonna do it.

 

“Mommy okay?” a soft voice coos in her ear. It’s Mauve again.

 

“Heh, yeah. Mommy’s okay.” Amethyst smirks and gives her daughter a kiss on the cheek. Mauve’s face freezes and her nose twitches. The child sneezes and an energy drink flies out of her gemstone, the can landing on the floor and rolling in place before deciding on a spot and quitting. Ivory retrieves it for Amethyst immediately.

 

“Nice, nice!” the mother praises, accepting this offering. She wipes her face clean of sprayed snot and pops the tab in the Monster can, taking a huge swig. It’s refreshing but warm, which thankfully means Mauve didn’t snatch a mini fridge while no one was looking and hide that away too. “Ahhh. Just what I needed!” She licks her lips. “Now if only you’d cough up the remote and the car keys too…you can keep the cash, though. Start saving up early.”

 

Lion by her feet, Amethyst shapeshifts her arm several feet longer so that she can press the buttons on the television. The gemlings climb up next to her, eyes wide and fixated while tiny fangs gnaw on tough but pliable teething rings. Lilac builds herself a cute little nesting spot from blankets and hoists her youngest sister up to join them while Amethyst switches the channel to the weather. Mundane, yet so utterly fascinating.

 

Violet is in amazement. She squeaks sharply.

 

“What’s up? Oh, yeah. That’s the TV. It’s like…a magic box…and it brainwashes you. I’m a huge fan!” Violet squirms, and Lilac points as animated rain starts falling over a temperature on screen. “Aaand that is a storm,” Amethyst remarks. She then whistles. “Holy noodles. That’s waaay more than a storm. That right there is Poseidon himself just pissing all over the Earth.” 

 

She shakes her head. “Let’s hope your mom and Aunt G and Steve-o get home before it starts!”

 

Mauve trembles in fear. Behind her, Ivory makes a loud, thunderous crash noise, and her sibling squeals in shock. 

 

“Aw man! Don’t scare your sis!” Amethyst laughs, taking another huge sip of liver-destroying energy drink. “Well, you know what they say about the showers bringing the flowers and the whatever… Looks like tonight’ll just be a night in, huh? We can watch a movie and talk about stuff and play games aaand…invite the barn dorks too! Talk about juicy drama right there.” She wags her eyebrows, teeth bared in a shiny white grin. “It looks like tomorrow’s all clear skies, so we can go play on the beach! Scare off the gulls and throw stones in the water and…I’m gonna toss your mom in! **Hahahaha—!!”**

 

Sans Violet, all the gemlings gasp and look at Amethyst sternly, even troublesome little Ivory. **“Nooo-ooo fight!”** she scolds, brows furrowed.

 

“Pffft!” Amethyst sputters. “It’s not fighting. She acts like she’s all annoyed, but she secretly loves it! She’s right at home in the ocean. I mean, why d’ya think her room’s full of waterfalls? And where do you think people go pearl diving? On land?! In the ocean, duhhh!” She sticks her tongue out. “Pearl’s a total fish. And man, can she swim! Call me cheesy, but I swear the first time I ever saw an angel was when I saw that girl floating on her back out in the sea with this cute, dopey smile on her face. Like, huzzah! She CAN relax!”

 

Some motion outside alerts them that everyone’s home, and the door opens moments later. Steven, Garnet and Pearl enter, each carrying as many boxes and bags as they possibly can.

 

“We’re hooo-ooome!” Pearl announces.

 

“Welcome back!” Amethyst greets, rising to her feet. The gemlings swarm to Pearl immediately, flooding her arms and earning a surprised little “oh!”.

 

Garnet sets what can fit on the kitchen counter, and what can’t on the stools and floor. “Steven, you and I go install the car seats before the storm starts. Pearl, you take care of your children.”

 

“Awwww!” Steven complains. “Trying to figure out instructions really lowers my self esteem…”

 

“Are you sure, Garnet?!” Pearl calls after her. “I can—“

 

The door has already closed. 

 

“Ahhhh…” 

 

Pearl stands in silence, a nervous hand to her face, before turning to her daughters once more. Mauve has scrambled into her arms as usual, and Pearl coddles her while giving her partner a shy smile. “Hi, Amethyst. Was everything alright? I’m sorry you had to be here alone. Next time I’ll—“

 

“Heh. Yeah, Pearl. Everything was fine.” Amethyst gazes back at her with narrowed eyes and an amused smirk, then glances over at her purchases. “Were you emotional shopping?”

 

“What’s that now?” Pearl asks, blushing quaintly. “I…no. Well…y-yes, I suppose! There were emotions involved, yes…such as love. I went shopping so my children can be happy!” Her eyes sadden. “I'm very sensitive... Did I do something wrong?”

 

“No!” Amethyst snickers. “Not a darn thing, silly. You feel better?”  


 

“Yes!” Pearl sings cheerfully. “Very much so. Oh, how is she?” the tall gem gushes, noticing the newly arrived gemling in Amethyst’s clutches. She reaches out with her free arm and strokes Violet's cream hair, making her look over and voice a shrill greeting noise, followed by a series of giggles. 

 

“Good as can be!” Amethyst answers. “She’s a really energetic little bagel.” 

 

Pearl frowns, not overly enthusiastic about her mate’s usage of…food for reference, but the sight of her baby is so delightful it lasts but a second and then she's smiling all over again. 

 

“But, uh…Pearl…” her stocky mate continues, scratching her arm nervously and averting her gaze. “Okay, look, I just — I need you to be honest with me for a sec.”

 

Blue eyes grow stony with seriousness. “Yes, alright.”

 

Amethyst holds Violet out with both hands. “Is she…too small?”

 

“She’s beautiful, is what she is!” Pearl pecks the top of her daughter’s head.

 

**“PEARL!”**

 

“What?!” 

 

“Seriously! Is she too little?! Is she gonna be okay?!”

 

“Well…” Pearl puts a hand under her jaw, examining. “She’s certainly small, that’s for sure…and I’ll have to make her another pair of clothes in several sizes down so they don’t hang off of her body…but I don’t see any reason to be concerned!” She strokes under Violet’s chin appraisingly. “If her growth is poor, we can always give her some minerals to help. Why don’t we have Peridot take a look later? Perhaps she might be able to piece together an opinion, what with her knowledge of making gems through other means.”

 

Amethyst exhales deeply, shoulders sagging. 

 

“...Okay. Yeah, that sounds good.” She pulls Violet back into a cradle, but the gemling is getting impatient again and wiggles. Yup. Her regular five minutes are up. The little one is deposited in front of the nest and she disappears inside, leaving her mother, grinning sheepishly yet earnestly. “Thanks.”

 

Pearl nods at her, sitting Mauve onto the floor and patting her back so she scampers off into the nest with the rest of the kids to go play. When she’s gone from view, Pearl suddenly finds herself being hugged from behind in a death grip. **“Amethyst?!”** she cries in confusion, voice quivering. “Is everythi—“

 

She’s cut off by a greedy inhale, Amethyst’s nose firm to her back. “Oh, my God,” she chokes. “I’ve been holding this back since you got home, wanting it all freakin’ day — Pearl, you have no idea—“

 

“I do!” Pearl insists hoarsely, twisting in her mate’s arms and freeing herself. “I was all over you earlier. Don’t you remember?! We’ve been in heat countless times before, dear. We can do it again! Control yourself, please. Later.”

 

Amethyst breathes shakily. Her big palm slides up Pearl’s arm, rests briefly on her shoulder, rises again and lands on her nape, caressing the soft skin there. She removes it, sniffs her hand, and her heart throbs, her face flushes, her mouth waters. “F—fuh—“

 

“Control it!” Pearl pleads, grabbing Amethyst by her upper arms. “You must. We must.”

 

“Pearl,” Amethyst whimpers again, loving how the name rolls off her tongue. “If we’re gonna make it through this night, we at least need a damn shower. I haven’t seen you in hours, and you come home suddenly, and — all day your scent’s just been settling on your skin, and I can taste it—“

 

“Y-yes, there’s a pheromone of—“ she coughs, “excuse me, a fair amount o-of… — never mind, just, ah…— perhaps we could try counting prime numbers?”

 

“Thinkin’ about numbers is just gonna make you hornier,” Amethyst rasps, their whole conversation reduced to a whisper.

 

Pearl gives up. “A shower,” she repeats. “Deal.”

 

* * *

 

**“Lapis!”** Peridot calls, diving into the hammock and showing her friend her tablet. “Look! Steven sent us an E-VITE!”

 

Lapis squints at the screen, arms folded. “A…what?”

 

“An e-vite! It’s an invitation from the internet!”

 

“...Why did they add an ‘e’ to it? If it’s from the internet, it should still be called an invitation.”

 

Peridot’s face brightens as if she has an answer and her mouth opens only to shut a split second later. She deadpans. “Well,” she says, robotic. “This certainly puts some holes in my understanding… I’ll have to ask the ‘search engine’ later. Ahem! Anyways! Look at it!”  


 

Peridot taps the screen with a finger. There’s a virtual animation of an envelope being torn open and card being pulled from it. A cheerful melody plays when the card is presented. The front has three white Persian kittens with pink bell collars and beneath them is red cursive text with a silvery shimmer that reads:

 

**“You’re Invited!”**

 

There’s an animation of the card opening up to reveal more text.

 

**TO:** Lapidot

**FROM:** Steven Univ

 

"Hey guys!!! It’s me, Steven!!! Sorry I had to combine your names but there’s a character limit… Anyways your invited tooooooo…OUR HOUSE!!! There’s supposed to be a really big thunderstorm tonight and we’re gonna watch a movie and hang out and make sure the babies don’t get scared and there’s gonna be popcorn and fort making!!! So you should totally come!! but it’s okay if you don’t (pretty please? ill be really upset!!!). Anyways please RVSP (i think i spelled that wrong but pearl is outside with garnet using amethyst like a pair of binoculars) within the next hour and a half so I don’t keep checking my phone until two in the morning like i sometimes do with Connie’s texts…oh jeez it won’t let me erase for some reason…Okay bye! I love you!"

 

The virtual card closes, and silence follows. Peridot stares at Lapis with a huge, expecting grin.

 

“You can go,” Lapis finally answers.

 

“Huh?!” Peridot stammers. “Without you? You have to see the new gemling! She’s so small you won’t believe it!”

 

Lapis blushes at her roommate’s enthusiasm. “I can go see her some other time. ...Alone.”

 

“It’s not the same!” Peridot insists. “They’re just so tiny when they first come out of the egg! Is it…” she trails off, setting her tablet in her lap. “I mean, it’s not because of, well — me, right…?”

 

“No!” Lapis protests. “I mean — yes! But not how you think it is.” She squeezes her eyes shut and balls her fists, exhaling before opening her lids again. “Peridot, I set us up to babysit so that you would feel better about being around mates and gemlings. But I…I’ve grown to like it so much that it confuses me. It’s really…cool, how they’re learning to talk and how they all like different things and watching you write notes about them and…I…I just… — it’s making me think! About…things I never thought I would be thinking about.” She sighs. “I like being around you. I like it in a way that scares me. In a way that I used to think wasn't for me. And…never mind. I'm sorry.”

 

“Oh,” Peridot fumbles, completely caught off guard. “W-well, um…that’s…”

 

Definitely going to pose a problem, her mind fills in for her.  And also exactly how I feel! But friends are supposed to care about each other. So if it worries you to talk about it, then--

 

She twiddles her fingers awkwardly and the pair sits in silence with flushed faces. It’s only a matter of minutes, but it feels like centuries. Peridot can feel her pounding heart in her throat.

 

Eventually, Lapis reaches into her lap and taps **‘ACCEPT’** on the screen.


	17. overdue (pt.2)

“Hey Pearl! Shower’s ready for ya! I used up all the hot water like you asked and — woah woah woah—!” Amethyst guffaws, bounding over. “It’s a Holo-Pearl! Been a while since we last saw one of these, huh?” She wraps an arm around the hologram’s waist. “Why’d you make it, P? Are we gonna have a threesome?”

 

“No!” Pearl immediately replies, cheeks flushing. “Stars, no!” Quietly: “And I swear, if you make a sword thrusting joke—“

 

“Whatevs,” Amethyst interrupts, arm tightening around a fake waist. “This is my new girlfriend. You know this chick, Becky?” she asks Holo-Pearl in a mock popular girl tone, gesturing to sentient Pearl and earning an eyeroll and silence. “Yeah, me either. Forget her.”

 

"ＩＮＩＴＩＡＴＩＮＧ ＨＵＧ ＳＥＱＵＥＮＣＥ!” a cold voice suddenly declares, and the hologram wraps Amethyst in a stiff embrace, staring straight ahead.

 

“ **What?!** Oh my God, no waaay!” Amethyst exclaims in pleased shock, returning the hug. “When could they do this?!”

 

Pearl folds her arms smugly. “I was thinking about what you all told me about living with her after I reformed, and I decided to adjust the programming so that she and her — ahem, for all intents and purposes, siblings — have a bit more… **emotion!** It’s tricky to get down, however, so the functions are just a tad…glitchy. Slow. I’m still working on smoothing them out!”

 

“Huh…? There’s actual work involved? Don’t you just, like…think about it and one appears?”

 

“Well, in the most basic stage, yes! However—“

 

“Can they tell jokes?! Becky, tell me a joke!”

 

The Holo-Pearl remains flat for a moment, then offers her monotonous response, freeing Amethyst from her grasp. "ＷＨＡＴ ＩＳ ＲＥＤ ＡＮＤ ＳＭＥＬＬＳ ＬＩＫＥ ＮＥＷ ＰＡＩＮＴ?"

 

“I dunno!” Amethyst excitedly screeches, on the edge of her seat. “What?!”

 

“ＮＥＷ ＲＥＤ ＰＡＩＮＴ! Ｉ ＡＭ ＨＥＲＥ ＡＬＬ ＥＡＲＴＨ ＷＥＥＫ.”

 

 **“Hahahahaha—!!”** the gem guffaws, clutching her stomach. “Pearl, this is too much, oh man! Seriously, Pearl. Great job. I love it. A little extra — but great."

 

“What do you mean?” asks Pearl.

 

"Huh?"

 

"The first part," Pearl says. "'Extra'?"

 

“Y’know,” Amethyst says. “A pearl who fought to not be a servant giving orders to another pearl? I mean, it’s only a hologram, so it’s not that weird — not like it feels anything. Just thought it was kinda strange.”

 

Pearl’s eyes fill with a sudden sadness that greatly concerns Amethyst. Oops. “Oh…that’s… Goodness.” She turns to the hologram. “I’m sorry, Becky.”

 

“ＡＰＯＬＯＧＹ　ＳＴＡＴＵＳ：　ＡＣＣＥＰＴＥＤ．　ＩＮＤＥＥＤ　ＵＳ　ＰＥＡＲＬＳ　ＡＲＥ　ＯＮＬＹ　ＳＥＲＶＡＮＴＳ　ＴＯ　ＴＨＯＳＥ　ＷＨＯ　ＷＯＵＬＤ　ＬＡＢＥＬ　ＵＳ　ＳＯ．　ＩＮ　ＡＣＴＵＡＬＩＴＹ　ＷＥ　ＰＯＳＳＥＳＳ　Ａ　ＶＩＢＲＡＮＴ　ＳＵＢ－ＣＵＬＴＵＲＥ　ＦＵＬＬ　ＯＦ　ＳＥＮＳＵＡＬ　ＢＡＴＨＩＮＧ　ＧＯＳＳＩＰＩＮＧ　ＣＯＭＰＬＡＩＮＩＮＧ　ＰＩＸＩＥ　ＣＵＴＳ　ＴＡＰＤＡＮＣＩＮＧ　ＡＮＤ　ＢＲＥＡＫＩＮＧ　ＯＵＴ　ＩＮＴＯ　ＳＯＮＧ　ＲＡＮＤＯＭＬＹ.”

 

Amethyst grits her teeth. Oh, God, she knows what happened here: Pearl went on a total stream of consciousness while inputting mental answers, and much more than intended ended up in the hologram’s programming.

 

The look of utter embarrassment on Pearl’s face gives it away, but she seems frozen in place, like she can’t **stop** the thing from talking.

 

“ ＯＮＥ　ＯＦ　ＯＵＲ　ＶＥＲＹ　ＯＷＮ　ＷＡＳ　Ａ　ＳＵＲＶＩＶＯＲ　ＩＮ　ＴＨＥ　ＷＡＲ　ＡＮＤ　ＴＨＯＵＧＨ　ＨＥＲ　ＨＥＡＲＴ　ＡＣＨＥＤ　ＦＯＲ　ＴＨＥ　ＣＯＭＰＡＮＹ　ＯＦ　ＡＮＯＴＨＥＲ　ＰＥＡＲＬ　ＷＨＯ　ＵＮＤＥＲＳＴＯＯＤ　ＨＥＲ　ＵＮＩＱＵＥ　ＳＴＡＴＵＳ　ＳＨＥ　ＰＲＥＶＡＩＬＥＤ　ＡＮＤ　ＰＲＯＶＥＤ　ＨＥＲ　ＷＯＲＴＨ　ＡＳ　Ａ　ＣＡＰＡＢＬＥ　ＡＮＤ　ＴＡＬＥＮＴＥＤ　ＧＥＭ　ＡＮＤ　ＭＵＣＨ　ＭＯＲＥ　ＴＨＡＮ　Ａ　ＬＵＸＵＲＹ　ＩＴＥＭ．　ＰＥＲＨＡＰＳ　ＷＨＡＴ　ＭＡＴＴＥＲＳ　ＴＨＥ　ＭＯＳＴ　ＩＮ　ＬＩＦＥ　ＩＳ　ＨＯＷ　ＹＯＵ　ＤＥＡＬ　ＷＩＴＨ　ＷＨＡＴ　ＹＯＵ　ＡＲＥ　ＧＩＶＥＮ　ＮＯＴ　ＷＨＡＴ　ＹＯＵ　ＣＲＡＶＥ　ＴＨＥ　ＭＯ— “

 

The hologram fizzles out of existence before it can voice its last syllable. Pearl doesn't make a peep, instead staring at the floor and rubbing her arm, leaving the thick silence to hang and fester in the room.

 

Amethyst finally decides to speak up.

 

“You worry a lot about that stuff,” she says, “huh?”

 

“…Yes,” Pearl murmurs. “It’s hard to…fully…move on from those feelings.” She continues to frown. “I was the only pearl in the army, you know. And, well, I was subject to plenty of teasing. Don’t take this the wrong way…! It wasn’t meanspirited — just playful. I’m no victim. But goodness, I’m just so competitive, Amethyst! I always have to be better. The best, even.”

 

“I know, P. Trust me. I know.”

 

“It’s so exhausting! And now I want to be the best mother ever. As if I have anyone to compare myself to besides the woman with eight kids! A-and the other woman with eight kids!”

 

Classic.

 

“Having eight kids isn't even that remarkable! I knew plenty of gems with eight children!"

 

The heat part of Amethyst's brain latches right onto those words, and her mind’s flooded with the idea of a pregnant Pearl. If they tried for it, would it take the first time? Amethyst's ovaries were fried to a crisp, but as far as they knew, Pearl's reproductive system was in tip top shape. It had to be easier to plant a malnourished seed in healthy, fertile soil than the other way around. 

 

Would they end up with eight or ten gemlings? Or would it balance itself out in a way and they’d end up with maybe five or six? She has no idea, but she does know that Pearl would be absolutely huge, and very pregnant, and just so big that she’d have to take her sash off to breathe, and she’d lie on the couch watching Project Runway with a hand on her bloated belly, gently asking Amethyst if she’d mind doing the chores that day, to which she would gladly oblige, and, run on sentences…

 

Amethyst glances over at the (planned) quadruplets that they already have, and stops that train of thought before it crashes and catches fire. Before her freshly-washed body starts spewing pheromones everywhere and she drags Pearl off to the shower and they end up adding six happy accidents to the child count.

 

“I feel ya, P,” she says. “But you know what I think? I think it’s better if we stop living with expectations.”

 

“Ehmmm… **what?”**

 

“Okay, don’t get me wrong,” Amethyst continues. “I don’t mean, like — ‘stop expecting me to be a good mom’ or ‘don’t expect anyone to be nice’ or crap like that. What I mean is that you should set expectations to be broad and leave out the micro-expectations that interfere with life’s flow. Know what I'm sayin'? Set an expectation to be your very best, but try not to hyperfocus too much on all the waypoints that make up that goal. Life’s gonna take you on whatever path it pleases, and if you keep setting all these expectations, you’re gonna end up disappointed when most of ‘em don’t get fulfilled the way you want them to!” She nods to herself, pleased with her explanation. “Yeah, yeah. Trust that it all leads somewhere. Life’s got something planned out, P! And you also gotta trust that I’m here with you in the current moment, okay?” She reaches out, wrapping Pearl in her embrace. “Don’t always focus on end result. Focus on what you have — where you are — **now**. Good enough for me, hon. Let yourself be good enough for you.”

 

Pearl takes a brief moment to recriprocate the affection, letting Amethyst’s words sink in. They do eventually — they always do — and her own arms clasp tightly around her love, squeezing back.

 

“Thank you,” she whispers. “I think I understand what you mean. I — I’m going to think more on it.”

 

Another few seconds of silence pass.

 

“I love you,” she adds, then buries her nose in Amethyst’s hair. The scent makes her shiver. Even with most of the heat musk washed away, the proximity was enough for what remained to flood her senses.

 

“Love you too, Pearl.” Amethyst then snickers, pulling away and patting her ass towards the bathroom. “Now go and shower! Wash all that anxiety away. And that smell! Seriously, you’re reekin’ like we just mated for the first time yesterday.”

 

Pearl blushes thickly. “Oh! Y-yes!” She birdhops off towards the bathroom, leaving her mate to watch after her.

 

“Pearl, oh, Pearl,” Amethyst whistles, a tad dreamy. “What’re we gonna do with you?”

 

There’s something that’s always intrigued Amethyst, and it’s the way humans tried to fulfill themselves before expiring. Their existences were mere blinks compared to a gem’s mighty lifespan, yet onward they fought. And on the flipside, here were gems, who had all of infinity, yet still struggled with the same problems they did before thousands of years later. How foolish it was to think one could fully ever succeed themselves in a mere few decades, when those with all eternity took exactly that…

 

She admired the strength in it. The strength to continue onwards; to bear that weight.

 

Perhaps there was a weakness to it, too — the more time you had, the more time you had to run from your own mind, to shove the problem aside.

 

The rest of it? Eh, she didn’t know. Maybe self exploration really did take that long and she was calling all these gems on a spiritual journey lazy and giving them the finger. She'd always approached life with a simple worldview. Deep down, that worldview still acknowledged the vastness of the universe, but approached it with nonchalance. 

 

Sometimes Amethyst didn't know why she acted that way. To shield herself from her own insecurities about the world, perhaps. To prevent herself from overthinking; getting bogged down the way her mate did. She hated admitting it, but she downplayed her philosophical side a lot for the cool persona.

 

She was happy this way, though. Mostly. There was room to change. She liked having deep chats with Pearl. Maybe it was okay to let herself think more. 

 

No matter what, she'd still be a rock in a flowing stream, subject to rippling tides and crashing and drowning and scuffling pebbles and eventually resurfacing to bathe in the sun's glow once more. Ah, well…

 

She turns to her kids, which have been watching the whole time with intrigue in the lakes of their eyes.

 

"You guys hear all that?" she inquires. "That stuff's private! So don’t go sharing it with any strangers! Not like you would since it's all boring adult stuff anyways… Seriously, though, poor Pearl. Girl needs to stop tearing herself apart from the inside. And a backrub. And Xanax.”

 

 **“Xanax! Xanax!”** the three gemlings who can speak cheer in unison like a demonic big pharma symphony, finding this new word quite entertaining.

 

Amethyst stares at her kids accusingly. “You know you don’t have to repeat everything I say, right?” She gulps. “…A-and that we’re all just pawns to medical corporations, right? **Right?”**

 

Mauve dives under a blanket, then pokes her head back out. “Love,” she whispers creepily.

 

“Nice pronounciation!” Amethyst praises. “Now say it like this: I-love-you.”

 

“Luhhh youuu,” Mauve coos. Not a big deal. Amethyst reaches out to ruffle her daughter’s head, and earns a happy grunt before Mauve dives back under the blankets. To take her place, Violet pops out instead, observing the room with intrigue.

 

“Heeey, little bean!” the mother greets. Violet opens her mouth and some weird raptor-purr tumbles out of her in greeting, and her eyes flicker everywhere except Amethyst, making her gut tighten. The more time she spent with Violet, the more something — or, the lack of something — was becoming clear. Amethyst and Pearl weren’t special to her — not special compared to anyone else, that is. Violet was loving and sweet and charming, but she was missing some of the trust or…some intricate, inexplicable connection that the other gemlings immediately had the moment they laid eyes on their mothers. 

 

Oh. God. 

 

Violet hasn’t imprinted yet. She didn’t recognise parents, wasn't learning from them yet; everyone was the same kind fellow to her. She didn't flock to mom like she was supposed to. Amethyst swallows, but forces herself through the anxiety. It was fine, right? Maybe it’d just take a few extra hours. She was overcooked, after all. It was probably fine for her to be a touch strange. 

 

So loving, yet without some minor component that made her kind of distant. 

 

Oh jeez.

 

It was fine. She’d figure it out eventually. Couldn’t expect it on the first day. 

 

Even though gemlings imprinted fast.

 

There’s a knock at the door, and Violet turns her nose in that direction, intrigued by the sound. Amethyst quirks a brow. “Uh, yeah?” Who knocked in 2017?

 

“It’s me!” a nasal voice calls. Peridot? Whoever it is doesn’t wait for a response before barging in.

 

“Uhhh,” Amethyst mutters, three of her kids (guess who’s missing) staring at their guest. “Heya! Why’re you here?”

 

“The **en** vitation?!” Peridot reminds her. “The invitation, I mean! The one that Steven sent us!”

 

“Ohhh! Didn’t think you’d actually come! But hey — where’s Lapis?”

 

“Outside! With Steven.”

 

“They’d better come inside soon, man. It’s gonna rain so hard even the fish are gonna drown.”

 

“I need your help again with Lapis!”

 

“Mmm,” Amethyst hums. She puts an arm around Peridot’s shoulders and leads her away, sparing a glance over at the gemlings to make sure they weren’t listening and speaking in a hushed tone. “Okay, here’s the deal. You can’t join, but you can watch…in a way. We have a sex tape.”

 

“You have a sex tape?!”

 

“Yep. We’re gonna use it to bribe Homeworld to leave us alone in case they ever send a whole army to Earth, but I can ask Pearl to just duplicate it for you and you can have it for, uh…two days, maybe? We don’t really want you to have it for, like, ever—“

 

“Why would Homeworld want it?”

 

“Why wouldn’t they want it?” Amethyst scoffs. “Have you seen me and Pearl? Like, don’t you want to know how we do it with that height difference?”

 

“How do you do it?” Peridot slowly asks.

 

“That answer can be yours for the very modest price of sixty—“

 

“ **EUGH!** This isn’t what I came here for! A-and what is that noise?!”

 

“Ohhh, haha,” Amethyst laughs, “that’s Pearl singing Take On Me in the shower. She always does that, but the song changes depending on how she’s feeling. Like, when we fight, she goes to Poison by Alice Cooper. Throw in some Madonna, Cyndi Lauper — hell, I’ve even heard Holy Diver thrown in there. Oh, and Believe. I’ve heard Believe more times than Cher has sung it, probably. Yeah, Pearl owes a lot to Cher. She’s real musical.”

 

“Of course she is! Your mate is a pearl! They all do that. One of them just starts chirping away and another follows and another follows and I can’t get my work done because of their silly concerts and gossiping! Nobody steps in to **stop** it, though there are the older gems who rant on about how back in their day pearls were disciplined better…”

 

Peridot keeps squinting at the door and Amethyst leads her over, ignoring her rant. She leans against it, and the water slows to a halt. 

 

Moments later, above the drip of the shower, a shrill voice complains: **“I have cramps!”**

 

Ah, the classic heat cramps. “Yeah, same here,” Amethyst offers back casually, smirking at the look on Peridot’s face. “Want some Midol, tweetheart?”

 

“Does that actually help? It’s for humans!” Pearl’s voice answers from beyond the door again. “And I don’t know what humans go through during their ‘time’, but right now it feels like someone is carving my uterus out with a sword!”

 

Peridot is in shock. Is this really how casually Pearl talks when she’s doozy from her heat and with someone who she trusts so much? She sounded like a teenager at a sleepover.

 

Wow. Must be true love.

 

And all the while, Amethyst is just grinning at Peridot, teeth like a shark, baiting her mate for more strange responses to see her virgin pal’s reactions. “Well, it’s for period cramps. So same organs, right? And I swear when I take, like, ten to twenty of ‘em, it gets better.”

 

“I think it might just be in your head,” Pearl giggles.

 

“You’re in my head, Robin **Hoot**.” Peridot makes a gagging motion.

 

“Oh, Amethyst! You’re delightful,” comes the sugary response. “You know, aside from being a heroic outlaw, Robin Hood was a highly skilled archer and swordsman! The fandom theories just write themselves here!” There’s a ripping sound while Pearl opens a pad. Then a shriek. **“Ouch!”**

 

“Didja pull a pube out with the sticky side?” Amethyst asks. Peridot cringes.

 

“Yes!” Pearl complains.

 

“Can I kiss it bw-etter?” 

 

“Hee-hee! So inappropriate, dear. Later.”

 

“What’s your fave dinosaur, Pearly?”

 

“Stegosaurus!” The bathroom door opens. “It was just so big and goofy and — **PERIDOT?!”**  Pearl screeches and clamps an arm over her clothed breasts as if she were still nude. “How long have you been there?!”

 

Peridot throws her arms up. “This whole time!” 

 

"Roses are red, violets are blue, I want to come, inside of yo--"

 

**"Amethyst!"**

 

Peridot glares at Amethyst in unison with Pearl, and all they get is a nonchalant shrug.

 

“Hey, I’m innocent here,” she drawls. “Didn’t force you to listen, Peridot — and it’s not like Pearl said anything confidential. What else were you expecting from a—“ she waves her arms dramatically, mocking how Peridot treats anything to do with sex, “pair of mates in **heat?”  
**

 

“You’re just trying to get rid of me!”

 

“Bahhh!” Amethyst groans. “I’m not trying to get rid of you. I’m trying to make you forget what you were gonna ask me ‘cause I’m sick of you acting like me and Pearl are relationship therapists!”

 

The mood of the room drops along with Peridot’s stomach. She looks instantly guilty and Pearl clasps her hands together, unsure of what to say.

 

“Sorry,” the perpetrator apologises. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just — like, we don’t have the answer to everything, dude. We’ve been through tons, but all relationships are different, you know? And we like giving you advice, but we’re always worried we’re gonna steer you in the wrong direction.” By Amethyst’s side, Pearl nods. “Some of this you gotta take care of on your own, man.”

 

“You’re right!” Peridot agrees. “It’s just — you two are the only ones I can model for how a relationship should be! Well, there are Garnet’s components, but to be honest here, I-I’m too shy to ask!” she panics. “And you’ve been through so much, that I assumed you had answers…”

 

“Did something happen…?” Pearl quietly asks.

 

“Lapis and I had a fight!”

 

“Oh,” Pearl responds. “Well, Amethyst and I do know a bit about that, don’t we?” 

 

Amethyst looks up at her with a look filled with nervous concern and genuine care. As always, she doesn’t want anyone to suffer because of her. Pearl gives a sweet smile back, trying to bestow some confidence.

 

“Okay,” Amethyst finally declares. “Let’s hear it.”

 

* * *

 

"There ya go -- there's your problem. She's scared of the attachment. And I don't blame her, 'cause the last time she was attached to someone she was stuck in the ocean for months."

 

"If the past hurts us so much then why can't we move on from it?" Peridot despairs.

 

"Because it gave us something," Pearl explains. “Something we’re familiar with, no matter how awful it was. The future is unexpected. There’s no security. At least in the past we know how we end up getting hurt..."

 

Not wanting to see her mate so sad, Amethyst tries lightening the mood. "Yeah, Pearl hates change. Move one thing to the right and she goes nuts -- even nuttier than I was when I found out Transylvania was a real place, but that there are no vampires.”

 

Pearl’s face blanks. “Were you actually upset about that?”

 

“We have a guest, madam.” 

 

Pearl crosses her legs in an attempt to deal with the pounding in between. Bad idea. Friction. The existence of her clitoris. ”You both need to communicate more.”

 

"When do I tell her I love her?"

 

Pearl and Amethyst gasp in unison.

 

"Okay, but -- duuude -- do you actually love her?! It takes time to figure that out! Come on, you don't know if you're compatible in a relationship yet. And I'm not trying to discourage you, but this is how the world works. You gotta kiss her."

 

Peridot screeches. "I don't know how to!"

 

Amethyst smirks. "I don't think ol' Lap-a-Lap knows how to either, so it looks like you guys are perfect for each other! By the way," she brags, "Pearl told me she loved me after I ate her out the first time, so you might wanna bone Lapis. But not until you kiss her, and hold her hand, and kiss her while holding her hand. Gotta kiss the top lips before the bottom ones. Life motto."

 

A hot, prickly blush crept upon Pearl's face, but she said naught, only giving a gentle, embarrassed smile. Peridot had ended up knowing far more than was necessary about Pearl and Amethyst's sex life, but she did have a habit of weaseling her way into matters that weren't any of her business, so…

 

Peridot rests her chin in her hands. What an imp. "This... **sucks!"**

 

"Don't act so dramatic, Peridot. You guys had a fight -- so what. Me and Pearl had them all the time and years later she still knocked me up." 

 

Pearl sighs at the crude wording, but "years later she still inseminated me" isn't any more romantic. 

 

"This is what relationships are about, Peridot. Not high school crushes -- actual love. There's fights, there's jealousy, there's super rough times, but you pull through them 'cause you really love that person. It's all a test. And trust me, the rewards are great." She tips her head over at the cuddle puddle of gemlings behind them, then slides a hand sensually up Pearl's knee to her thigh. 

 

"Hhh," Pearl shivers, a pounding heat coursing through her, throbbing in time with her heart, urging her to mate. Amethyst's nose twitches.

 

"So I'm learning," Peridot chokes. "Thank you both."

 

"Okay, our turn for questions." Amethyst whirls around in her stool and marches over to her daughters, snatching the smallest. Mauve tags along too, clinging to her neck, staring at Peridot with cold eyes. Amethyst holds Violet out like an offering. "Is this baby too small?"

 

Pearl's hands go to her heart.

 

"Hmmm," Peridot thinks aloud. "She's small. Suspiciously small. Lucky to be alive!"

 

Amethyst's breath hitches.

 

"Let's just keep an eye on her, Amethyst. Usually, if they hatch, they end up **surviving!** And she's doing just fine now, isn't she?" Violet coos. "Ahah!"

 

"Yeah, okay, about that," Amethyst interrupts, getting more desperate by the second. "Call me crazy, but I don't think she knows who mom is. She doesn't feel parental attachment. She doesn't get parent-gemling stuff yet, I don't think--"

 

"That's crazy! She's just a hatchling!" Violet chirps and lightly pats Peridot's cheek.

 

"I'm telling you, Peridot, Pearl, I'm right. The other three had a special connection with us the moment they came out of their eggs, but Violet's just--"

 

"A-amethyst," Pearl stammers. "This is all very vague and...unlikely. Could we talk about this in private?"

 

"No, Pearl, we cannot talk about this in private, because I refuse to sit around with the damn possibility that my daughter is gonna imprint on Judge Judy instead of me--"

 

 **“Enough!"** Pearl scolds back. "She'll figure out who her parents are!”

 

Amethyst falls silent. When Pearl, the queen of derailing thoughts, tells her she's derailing, she has to listen.

 

Suddenly, Mauve slaps Peridot in the face. "Ow!"

 

Pearl gasps. " **Mauveine!** No hitting!" Mauve slinks into Pearl's arms but looks back at Peridot with the shittiest grin.

 

Amethyst laughs at the sight, worry temporarily forgotten. "Hahahaha! That's the same cheek **Pearl** punched! Guess the pearl doesn't fall too far from the oyster, eh?”

 

"Some day I stop you," Mauve informs Peridot ominously, sticking her purple tongue out.

 

"Wow," says Pearl. "She's learning how to talk so well, but everything that comes out of her mouth is just…strange."

 

“Why does she hate you so much?"  Amethyst asks Peridot. “What did you do to her? You gave her a bowtie and everything.”

 

“She doesn’t hate anyone!” Pearl cries. “I’m sorry, Peridot. You keep trying, and she’s, well…so very unresponsive. She’ll warm up to you one day, I promise! I think she’s scared.”

 

“Not scared!” Mauve insists. Paying prerequisite to the oncoming storm, a terribly loud clap of thunder booms outside, and the gemling shrieks in horror, face diving into Amethyst’s hair. and teeth chattering. Violet gasps with excitement, head turning and cream hair following her movements to try and find the source of the noise.

 

Pearl laughs. “She has nervous squeaks.” Another bout of thunder claps. **“EEK!”**

 

“Wonder where she got that from," Amethyst snorts.

 

* * *

 

“What’s wrong with the word ‘moist”?" asks Pearl with a squint, bringing the ‘Top Ten Worst Words of the English Language’ page of her magazine closer to her face.

 

“Dunno,” Garnet replies. Lilac turns in her arms, hair spilling out everywhere. “I don’t have a problem with it.”

 

“Makes me think of cake!” Amethyst adds. “And dripping wet, warm, dark places, like caves or…uh…” Her tone flattens under the weight of realisation. “Oh, geez. I think I know why people don’t like it now.”

 

Garnet smirks. Pearl simply turns the page of the trashy magazine with her free hand, ending up on the sex positions portion. Classic. She has to be swift because there are two gemlings in her lap and a hatchling draped over her shoulder, but she still takes a good lookover with an amused grin. Were people really this bored?

 

Amethyst huffs a laugh into her ear, chin resting on Pearl’s free shoulder and arms around her torso. Now that they were reunited, they were stuck like glue. Good luck splitting apart two mates in heat, even if they were all washed up. “Can’t do those unless you have no spine,” she says, reaching to turn the page. “So basically, perfect for you.”

 

“Please,” Pearl snorts. She earns a kiss to her ghostly cheek, and Amethyst takes a quick inhale before moving to her other side so baby Violet can get one, too. The gemling is fast asleep, drooling on Pearl — or, well, she was fast asleep, as her eyelids flutter open upon contact and she gives a raspy yawn, resting her head again to suckle the cloth of Pearl’s tunic and knead it like a nursing kitten. 

 

From a non-Homeworld analysis, it was strange since they didn’t breastfeed. Pearl, however, had explained to Steven that once Homeworld began producing gems with ability to produce offspring, they had no clue what the fuck a baby was supposed to be like…so influence from all sorts of different kinds of Earth animal young was taken and injected into the designed gemlings. Hence the growls, sniffs, pawing, suckling (Mauve loved her thumb), teensy fangs, and equally animalistic mannerisms that the mommies were programmed with, too.

 

What a joy, Amethyst thought. No sarcasm. She never questioned her own behaviour or anything — hey, all normal and instinctual to a gem — but knowing her litter was designed to be so…catty made her only love them even more, if that was even possible.

 

One of the bundles in Pearl’s lap sits up clumsily and turns to her moms and ‘aunt’, revealing three reddish freckles on her left cheek. Two side-by-side on the top, then one beneath them in the middle, forming a tiny upside down pyramid…or Illuminati symbol, whichever floated an observer’s boat. They were brand new and Amethyst took full credit for the trio of delightful spots. She couldn’t wait to see if they’d spread all across her face or remain a whimsical patch. Ivory, their widdle ginger — **d’awww.**

  
Amethyst also took full credit for the recent changes in hair, though with some guilt instead. Nothing about the haircut or length was unusual for a pearl — it was Pearl’s cut, after all, from the past, certainly, and with a covered forehead, but hers — but much like how puppies had ears a touch too big for their head, Ivory had just a touch too much fiery hair for hers. It was getting shaggier, but with a just-right volume giving it a loose bounce that would be fun if her fringe wasn’t so damn long that the bottom strands weren’t swordfighting with her eyelashes. She needed a haircut. A gem, needing a haircut.

 

At home, of course. Like hell Pearl would trust a random salon with **her babies;** not when the idea of Lapis and Peridot sitting at home watching **her babies** do totally reckless, life-threatening things like shredding up wrapping paper and stealing plastic spoons still made her panicky on missions. Made Amethyst panicky beyond belief, too, but she held it inside so she could be confident. For Pearl.

 

Ivory starts waving.

 

“Oh!” Pearl giggles, waving back. “She’s practicing her **manners!** Hi, sweetheart!”

 

“Hulloooooo,” Ivory coos, showing off her slightly buck front teeth. Pearl slaps her hands over her heart, gushing with the pride of a mother. “Puhwease, ‘sank you, puhwease and ‘sank you — hullooo!”

 

Garnet grins back, oh-so gingerly. “If only you were that well-behaved all the time.”

 

“Could you all be quiet?!” Peridot barks. “You’re interrupting my research!”

 

 **Dear** ~~**Diary** ~~ **Journal**

 

Lapis took a look at this and said it’s starting to sound more like a diary than a research journal! Pfft! It’s obviously not. Anyways, I’m doing well today! …Is what I wish I could say. To tell you the truth, Lapis and I had an argument earlier! It’s difficult to describe since I haven’t fully come to understand my own feelings yet, but to make a long story short, I really think gemsitting and talking to Pearl and Amethyst has given us many new perspectives on relationships and love as a whole! Which is a good thing — but Lapis is really afraid of that kind of…intimacy.  

 

I don’t blame her.

 

Anyways, the last of the gemlings has finally hatched! If you (haha! As if you can hear me!) needed any further proof of what overincubation can do to a gem, here you have it! She’s impossibly small — the size of a four week old kitten! UNBELIEVABLE! By far the smallest I’ve ever seen, especially for an amethyst! So far everything seems to be okay, but I’ll be keeping an eye on her. 

 

The mothers certainly have their hands full! And not just with their babies, but with each other. Ahahaha! Get this — they’re in heat! How lewd! Pearl has marks all over her neck. Clearly someone was busy earlier. Hint: it was Pearl! I really look forward to seeing how well they manage a whole week in heat as parents.

 

I know I’m personifying a bunch of paper, but don’t you think it’s cruel sometimes? How our bodies demand so much from us, but never give back. It’s so meaningless! If spring was eternal, then Earth would be overgrown.

 

She stops writing for a moment and gazes upon Pearl, Amethyst, Garnet, the four happy, bumbling gemlings.

 

Maybe it’s not always so meaningless.

 

“Hey!” Amethyst protests, overdefensive from her heat. “If you don’t like it, then scram! We’re all havin’ a good time here! And…I suck at controlling my volume! I’m a rasper!” It just keeps going. “And Pearl’s got the lungs of a singer so she’s, uh, actually pretty good at staying quiet, but she’s having fun so maybe she wants to be loud! And Garnet? Okay, when does Garnet ever do wrong?”

 

“That’s why we love her,” Pearl laughs. Lilac coos in Garnet’s arms, stealing her glasses off her face and waving them in the air.

 

“Oh nooo,” Garnet fake-protests in that monotone but wholesome tone of hers. “My glasses. They’ve been stolen by a naughty gemling. Thankfully, coolness is an abstract, subjective measure that doesn’t depend entirely on clothing choice.”

 

Lilac shoves them onto Pearl’s face instead and nearly pokes her in the eye with the arm.

 

“Haha! Look, P, you’re Sardonyx now!”

 

Pearl giggles. “Yes, I suppose I am!” Just as fast, though, she pulls them off her face, handing them back to Garnet and giving Lilac a disapproving look. “But really — I’ve told you countless times to stop stealing, dear!”

 

“Relax, Pearl,” Garnet says. “They’re young.”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” agreed Amethyst. “Though, to be fair, I think this lil’ one can actually feel some guilt for bein’ naughty.” 

 

She pokes Lilac in her tummy, and faster than she can react is her daughter reaching over and drawing a huge streak on Amethyst’s cheek with a black marker.

 

 **“Hey!”** Amethyst barks in shock. “Wha — what the hell?! Where did that come from? Dude! I take that back!” 

 

“Amethyst!” Pearl snorts. “Language! I — **ahahahahaha!”** Despite herself, she’s laughing hysterically, tears welling in her eyes at the display. Garnet’s laughs along gently, too — and so does Lilac, covering her mouth to stifle her cheek-puffed gemling snickers.

 

“What’s on my face?!” the victim demands. If it was a dick, she was gonna be so mad. She spits on her hand, tries to wipe it off and only ends up smearing the ink further on her cheek.

 

“Ahahahaha!” Pearl continues to wheeze. “It’s just a streak, but it’s — it’s just too much! They are so bad! Ahaha! What have we done, Amethyst?!” She snickers as Lilac stretches far enough in Garnet’s grasp to start assaulting her head, grabbing hair with her paws and giving her mother affectionate gemling bites all over with a mischievous grin on her lips. Pearl only snickered harder; goodness, those sharp teeth were so tickishly painful. “Stop that! Argh, stop that, I said! Ahaha! No **nipping!”**

 

She scoops Lilac up with her one free arm and brings her in closer, kissing both of her daughter’s cheeks, her nose, her forehead. Lilac breathes another giggle but settles in close to mom, head tucking under her chin, locks tickling Pearl’s nose. Amethyst’s heart throbs at the sight of Pearl’s arms and lap full of all four of their kids. It throbs a harder alongside something lower down imagining how she’d look with her flat belly stretched full of oh, six more of them. Someday.

 

“N’awww,” Amethyst purrs, scratching them on their heads. “So cute.” Mauve glares at her, angry over being woken up. “So bitter.”

 

“She’s just faking it. So dramatic, more like.”

 

“And that one’s still napping,” Amethyst points out, poking Violet in the forehead. She doesn’t even nudge. “Wow! Out like a light!” 

 

“Yes!” Pearl agrees. “She sleeps just like you! Now do you see why I have to go to such lengths to wake you up, Amethyst?!”

 

“Eh,” she replies nonchalantly. “Maybe a little. Heeey!” she rasps to her daughter. **“Wakey wakey!”**

 

“It’s fine, isn’t it? She’s been busy since she hatched, what with climbing about and poking into everything… It must be so overwhelming for a gemling!”

 

“Sure,” Amethyst drawls. “Now wake up, li’l baby!” 

 

Violet wakes, but not from Amethyst’s voice — from the sound of raindrops pitter-patting. Mauve gets busy ducking under every shelter available to avoid the impending thunder. The second the rainfall starts, the door flies open and Lapis and Steven scramble in.

 

“I like the rain,” Lapis complains. “Why do I have to come inside?”

 

“Because it’s really coming down now!” Peridot calls from the other end of the room, having to shout above the downpour. Lapis looks up at her and they share an awkward eye contact session before she notices the newest baby in Amethyst’s arms.

 

“Woah…” she exclaims, impressed yet underwhelmed all at once. “She’s so…small.”

 

“She is!” Pearl agrees. “And the best part is — she doesn’t bite!”

 

“Nah, she bites,” Amethyst says.

 

“Is she gonna be okay?” Lapis asks, surprisingly troubled. Amethyst’s eyes widen defensively. 

 

“Uh, obviously! She’s fiiine! Look at her!” she demands. All eyes fixate on the cute mini quartz in her arms, and Violet chirps back at the gazes affectionately. The raindrops beat even harder.

 

Everloving, Steven can’t help but gush. “Can I hold her?!”

 

Pearl and Amethyst’s eyes sharpen at the demand, but soften a moment later. “Yes,” Pearl decides, “As long as you’re careful.”

 

Steven looks at the baby in his arms with all the love and care of a true big brother. “She’s so cute!” he cheers. “Pearl, Amethyst — I’m so proud of you guys! I mean, it’s so awesome that I’m holding your kids! It'd be really nice if we understood each other better, but…I love them so much!”

 

Garnet smiles, filled with the same pride.

 

“St-e-e-e-ven,” Pearl laughs. “You’re making me blush!”

 

“Ahhh! **Heeelp meee!”** Steven cries as he’s drowned underneath of three other jealous babies.

 

* * *

 

When does it stop being shitty?

 

Peridot can’t help but be jealous when everyone’s having so much fun, playing Pictionary and watching garbage television, but she’s stuck sitting around with a tension so thick you could slice it. Hell, even the gemlings were having fun, climbing from Garnet’s lap to Steven’s to Pearl’s to Amethyst’s and paying no mind to the frightening torrent of rainfall outside, not even Mauve. Why would they when they could focus on their family’s loud laughter instead? 

 

“I can’t believe this is all the ‘talent’ required to make it big on a television show,” Pearl scoffs.

 

Listening to her complain was actually fairly hilarious. She just kept going on and on and on and…God, that nasal. She really was a pearl. She shouldn't, but sometimes Peridot had her doubts because not only did Pearl have kids, but she was damn ferocious — and now she kind of wanted to see this pearl get freaky because of that very ferociousness. She would never admit it. Sex was icky. Maybe she should buy the tape.

 

“I mean, that’s just a human family arguing!” 

 

“Pearl, how are you even sitting?” Garnet asks. For good reason. Pearl was on her back, on the floor, legs on the couch, watching upside down.

 

“I,” she says, “I don’t know.”

 

“Maybe we should have a T.V. show!” Steven suggests, patting Violet’s head in his lap. “Can I be the main star?”

 

“Why would you be the main star?”

 

“Sardonyx should be the main star,” Garnet says.

 

“Now there’s a good idea.”

 

“Aw, man…” Steven mumbles, disappointed. If only he knew. “If only we could watch Crying Breakfast Friends, but it’s not on right now!”

 

“We don’t even have a remote,” Garnet reminds him.

 

“Oh yeah. Mauve ate it with her gem…”

 

Feeling like she’s responsible for Mauve’s toddlery actions, Pearl quickly attempts to redeem herself, sitting up so she can adjust the buttons on the side of the television. “That’s okay! We can change the channel manually. Ahem…which one of these is the one that changes the channels again?”

 

“The arrow ones!”

 

Pearl presses one, enjoying the satisfying click. “Thank you, Steven! Tell me when to stop.”

 

**Click. Click. Click.**

 

“Stoooop! It’s a dinosaur documentary!”

 

“ **What?!** Oh, I have to see this!” Pearl rolls back into place and then gasps. “It’s Stegosaurus!”

 

Amethyst bursts into laughter suddenly. “Hahahaha!! Look! They drew Lion!” She clutches her stomach, so taken by the pink stick-figure animal that Mauve and Lilac have drawn on the whiteboard. Ivory wanted to help, but was too busy trying to talk around the roll of wrapping paper that she was tearing up with Violet. Garnet gave it to them. Guilty as charged; she can’t resist those eyes. Can anybody?

 

And they laughed. The gems laughed, the gemlings chirped, the rain poured, and despite all the worries and the pain life was ever transient and ever changing and pushed forward no matter what.

 

No expectations. Though it was fleeting, it was all about the moment.

 

Hey, gems — they had an eterenity of moments to live through.

 

“It’s pretty cool what two gems can do when they put their heads together!” Peridot remarks, impressed by the drawing.

 

“Yeah,” a soft voice beside her agrees, scooting closer; so close she can feel warmth. It’s Lapis. The warmth cools, but Peridot’s blushing face doesn’t. “Sorry about earlier,” Lapis whispers.

 

Peridot’s response is very nearly silenced by the thunder outside. “It’s okay.”

 

“It’s not,” she sighs. “We kinda need to talk about…stuff. Maybe we can later. I like being here. I’m having fun. It almost feels like I have my own family. It’s weird, but…I like it.”

 

“…I—“

 

Their conversation is so rudely cut off by Violet climbing onto Pearl’s head and mouthing at her. “For heaven's sake,  **STOP** trying to **EAT ME!”**

 

* * *

 

Pearl lies on her belly in front of her gemlings, tickling their tiny tummies with her finger and trying to coax a little pearl out of hiding with the help of her sister. A chirp then sounds, and then another, as the shy gemling perks up, gazing at her mother; she then reeeaches out, grabbing Pearl’s gemstone with her hands and giving a surprisingly tough tug like she’s trying to pull it off.

 

The sound of Pearl’s squawk: “Mauveine, please!”, Amethyst’s snickering: “Nice one, Mauve,” and the joyous squeaking of four — not three, but four; it was so overdue — gemlings fills the room. 

 

Steven laughs, too, and Garnet, then Pearl -- and this time Peridot and even Lapis can't help but join in.

 

Yeah, life went on.

 


	18. a gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back from my vacation = yay!!!
> 
> going to bed at 6am and waking up at 5pm because my sleep schedule is fucked = nooo
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading! i love every single one of your comments, kudos, views, subscriptions, and the little notes you leave when you bookmark. I appreciate you keeping me going so, so sooo much. I wish i could give you all a personal hug, but all i can deliver are updates. Hopefully those suffice!

“I haven’t been so consistently _exhausted_ since I fought the _war_ ,” Pearl laugh-admits to Amethyst. 

 

“Hah. Yeah. And they don’t give up, either! Like, I’d love to cuddle up for a little nap right now, but—“

 

“Ivory screams in your ear.”

 

“Yes! The second I close my eyes, it’s like—“

 

“Mauve shines a light over your lids.”

 

**_“Yes!”_ **

 

“And _you’ve_ turned from an angel into a devil,” Pearl says to Lilac as her chunky daughter’s head peeks at her from under her arm. “You _hairpuller…”_

 

She rubs her large nose against Lilac’s in a cute eskimo kiss. Lilac giggles with great joy, cupping Pearl’s cheeks in response.

 

Amethyst watches the display adoringly, cheek in her palm. Now that she and Pearl had gotten their fill of sex for the night, their more carnal desires — the kinds that took over their minds and bodies and turned them into drooling, frenzied, slit-pupil messes — had been temporarily sated. But the more familial temptations and cravings, the ways that mates tended to each other even more fervently and tried to show off how befitting of carrying gemlings they were…well, those still remained. It should have been no surprise why Amethyst was so oddly fixated with watching Pearl snuggle with their kids. It was a show for _her._

 

So was the delicious scent wafting off Pearl like an offering. And the way her cheeks were seemingly permanently flushed, like a rosy-cold face in the winter. Or how her whole body itched from all the blood that had risen to the surface. Or how her pupils stretched and boggled every time she saw Amethyst.

 

“And how ‘bout this one?” Amethyst asks, smirking as baby Violet’s breath ghosts her cheek.

 

“Bitey,” Pearl proposes at the exact moment Violet sinks her teeth into flesh. She laughs and reaches out with her long arms, grabbing and pulling whatever happened to be in her reach closer to her.

 

Nesting. It was a wonderful thing. Spending time with gemlings in the nest was an inherent part to being a gem mother. It was a confined area where mothers and kids could either relax or play or any combination of such. Even sitting in silence and reading a book brought a mother closer with her child. Over time, having such a comfy place away from others and with their parents subconsciously taught gemlings that mothers meant safety, trust, and comfort; that they always had someone to rely on. That they had _family_.

 

No wonder mothers got so defensive over their nests. Amethyst had watched Pearl literally bare her teeth and growl at anyone unwelcome taking a few steps too close to her little nursery a number of times.

 

Pearl had a few similar experiences of her own. She always kept her distance, but she could remember carrying out some task on Homeworld, walking down a hall before a couple of bouncing, eager gemlings gathered by her feet. She knew she wasn’t supposed to, but she would bend down and say hello to them…before some turquoise would give her a mean look, call her kids back over, tell Pearl to go back to standing pretty and her kids that objects weren’t meant to be spoken to. Pearl would huff, blush, walk away with her 'bitchy' tail between her legs but rebellion fuming in her chest. 

 

To think _she_ was now in the less-prejudiced spot of that mother…

 

Ah, then there were the _rumours_. Pearls were gossipers, big time. Why? Well, when you stood around all day and didn’t talk, you listened. Being the pets of big-time gems meant they got a juicy scoop. Then when they were dismissed and all got together, there was always a pearly friend that would bound over to Pearl and whisper in her ear that she’d had sex with her master the other day, earning a hot blush and a giggle. Then there was Pearl insisting to Pearl that Pearl’s tummy looked a little bigger, and they would gasp and fan themselves and work hard to figure out which of their dramatic birdbrained friends it was though they knew in their hearts it was impossible thanks to those damn heat suppressants. 

 

Pearl smiled to herself. What if her friends saw her now? A pearl with an _amethyst_ , too. What a scandal. She would love to play a joke on them, tell them about how her mate was **_big_** , taller than they were, mean, a crusher of skulls, then in walked Amethyst… _Pfft_. She can hear all the delighted giggles already.

 

“You good?” Amethyst asks, noticing the lost-in-thought behaviour.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Something on your mind?” she continues to prod.

 

“No,” Pearl half-lies, burying her nose in whosever hair was next to her.

 

She hadn’t seen any of her old pearl friends in thousands of years and chances were she never would again. The rebellion was every bit to blame as the Diamonds’ cruel authority for the separation.

 

She felt her gemlings poke her in between the ribs, elbow her in the breasts, pull on her cheeks, try to rip her gem off and leave rambunctious roughhousing bruises all over her form…and, well, if such delights were the price of separation, then she paid.

  
  
“‘Kay.”

 

“‘Kay,” three of the kids echo. Violet coos her attempt. Close enough.

 

* * *

 

“How is that not wet, P?” Amethyst asks, shapeshifted into a float big enough for her mate and all four of their kids to cruise out on in the ocean. Pearl is writing in a notepad, writing as fluid and prettyas ever despite the rocking, tumbling blue-green waves. 

 

Ah. _Her_ notepad. The one Amethyst wanted to toss into a fire because Pearl wrote shit like ‘fix painting by 2 cm’, then stressed about it all day.

 

Huh. Come to think about it, actually, she hadn’t seen any notes like those in a while, and she snooped around in this notepad often.

 

“Talent…”

 

“I have a great view from here,” Amethyst snorts.

 

“Amethyst, _move_ your **_eyes—!!”_** Pearl squawks, quickly moving her hand to cover her ass.

 

“Hahaha! Seriously, though: that a _to-do list?”_

 

“Yes.”

 

“Oh, come _on!_ Imma tip you over!”

 

Pearl shrieks as the raft starts rocking. The gemlings squeal in excitement, faces getting splashed with seawater.

 

“Okay, okay! I’ll put it away! **_AMETHYST!”_** Pearl screams as she’s thrown overboard, not given even the slightest semblance of a chance to put her list back into her gem. Her head resurfaces with a gasping, fake breath, spewing a fountain of saltwater from her lips and hair plastered to her head with water.

 

Hearing her mate and gemlings laugh, she can’t help but join in, wading.

 

* * *

 

“Hey!” Steven calls while bounding over, spotting a gemling. “Looking for crabs, huh?”

 

“Yup!” Lilac says back, digging her chubby hands further under the sand. Her feet were firmly nestled into the stuff, right in a spot where the tide met the shore and lapped over her skin. When she rips her hand out, she has a scuttling red crab in her clutch. “Cwabbb! _Cur-rrraaabbb!_ ** _Weee!”_**

 

She was large and unafraid of them, petting their shiny, glossy bodies and only lightly complaining when they pinched her big fingers. She had a high pain tolerance, perhaps a bit _too_ high for her own good since she was clumsy and couldn’t tell when she hurt herself in a spill. Her wobbly walking had led to bluish-lavender skin covered in bruises from repeated falling…but every time she took a dive, she just peeped a laugh and got right back up. 

 

In fact, Lilac had been terribly confused when, whilst sitting in Pearl’s arms, she threw her head back and delivered a nicely resounding _‘clonk’_ …then seconds later, mommy had bright blue streaks dribbling from her bloody nostril and her other mommy was scrambling to fetch paper towels and screaming about _“Keep your head down!”_

 

Oh, don’t forget the _other_ time when Ivory fell off the couch and bit her tongue _hard_ , resulting in a mouth gushing cyan, more than a few soaked paper towels and a screaming, crying gemling that was simultaneously fascinated by her own finger-paintable blood. After an hour of scrubbing, Steven and Garnet could _still_ pick out the spot where she ‘drew’ all over the hardwood like a damn cursed ritual, much to Amethyst’s dismay. Pearl insisted that the spot was gone, they were making it up and that they needed a civilian (Connie) to clear it up once and for all.

 

Who knew goop came out of your nose if you whacked it hard enough, or that your tongue fountained if you gave it a chomp?

 

In theory, Lilac was the perfect quartz soldier in the making: a robust, pain-tolerant bulldozer. In reality, this wasn’t Homeworld, it was Earth and Amethyst and Pearl would never push her to be anything besides the lovebug that she clearly was. A lovebug that asked a few too many questions.

 

“Pearl told me they’re crustaceans! Like lobsters and shrimp! Uh…I guess it means they have shells and antennae and…scavenge?” He trails off, thinking about how Greg really liked the word ‘crust’. Maybe it reminded him of pizza?

 

“Why?” Lilac lets go of the squirming crab scratches a spot near the hexagonal amethyst on her forehead, before posing the question once more: “Why?”

 

“Pearl knows more about it, I think!” He looks up. Right on time. “Hi Pearl! Hey Amethyst!”

 

“Hi, Steven.” Pearl quaintly bends down so she’s level with him and her daughter, perched beautifully on her toes and arms draped over her knees. Amethyst rests her arm on her shoulder and snickers as Lilac sticks her finger into Pearl’s mouth like babies do. “ _Thtop_ that!”

 

“Why?”

 

Amethyst gives Lilac a bop on the head. “Why _what?”_

 

“Mmmmmmnnn…” She puffs her cheeks out in frustration, trying to form the right words. Amethyst runs a stray finger through her daughter's hair and snags on a tangle that Pearl missed, jerking her head. 

 

Steven grins encouragingly. "Pearl, I’m telling her about crabs!”

 

“Oh! Well…” She seats herself fully. “ _Crabs_ are _decapod crustaceans_ that belong to the infraorder _Brachyura_. They live all over the world’s oceans, both in the water _and_ on land, feeding on algae, _clams_ , snails and stray _fish parts_ that make their way to the ocean floor! They’re very active, _fascinating_ creatures, and—“

 

“Why?”

 

Aside from the rippling, crashing foam of the sea tide, the world seems to fall silent. Lilac’s questioning hangs in the air, and it’s an exhaustingly long thirty seconds before Pearl notices all the eyes fixated on her. 

 

Oh. Time for _this_ talk already? Was it not a bit too soon? Her cheeks were flushed, but only from her heat cycle bringing the blood to the surface of her skin. She wasn’t embarrassed in the slightest. She scratched one of those itchy cheeks, glanced from Steven to Amethyst and explained quite matter-of-factly:

 

“ _Well…_ first, the male attempts to _impress_ the female by standing on his walking legs and performing a mating dance. The male then _carries_ the accepting female for several days, before she molts and they proceed to _mate—“_

 

“Hoookay,” Amethyst interrupts, stopping Pearl before she could go too far. “That’s enough of that. Look, kid — besides the big ol’ sha- _bang_ , nobody really knows _why_ we’re here, so _I_ suggest you just accept that we _are_ and make do with that, yeah? Otherwise you’ll get all caught up in your thoughts and won’t be able to stop, haha. Just like your mom!”

 

Pearl glares. At first. Then she smiles, laughing softly at her own ridiculous self. Why be mad? What is there to be mad about, really?

 

“Okay?” Amethyst asks her daughter, poking her in the gemstone. Lilac’s eyes cross, narrowing to try and look at Amethyst’s finger on her.

 

“Mmm…oookaaay,” she begrudgingly decides. “Oops!” she cries, accidentally ripping a crab leg off.

 

“Oh no!” Steven gasps, clapping his hands over his cheeks. “Sorry, crab!”

 

Pearl cringes, and Amethyst laughs her heart out.

 

* * *

 

“ _Impressive_ …have you _previously_ studied architecture?” Peridot asks, observing the sand castle that Ivory has built. It was pretty big; even had a couple notches poked out for windows. She hadn’t even used a bucket. Whose craftsmanship was that? Pearl’s?

 

“Huh?” Ivory squeaks. “No… What you mean? Yuck.” She sticks her cyan tongue out and desperately starts pawing at it with both hands, trying to get all the salty sand off with long strokes as if she were paving a road. “Yuck, yuck, yuck! Sand bad!”

 

Peridot fixates on the spots dotting the little one’s cheek and squints observationally. “Since when did _you_ have _freckles?”_

 

Ivory wails, her sandy hands smearing more and more all over her face, over her black, ripped-up leggings, over the stone planted firmly in her chest. It’s quite comical, really: a tiny Pearl clone, swatting at her grain-covered form. Finally, she falls back into the sand with a ‘ _thomp’,_ kicking her legs about and laughing hysterically for no reason. Peridot quirks a terribly confused brow.

 

“What?! What’s so funny?!”

 

 _“Ahahahaha! Hee-hee!”_ She snorts loudly. _“Ahahahahaha!”_

 

“Ow!” Peridot yelps as Ivory delivers a nice, hard accidental kick to the gut. “Hey, _watch it!”_

 

The laughter only continues, shrill and devilish. 

 

“Uhhh…” Peridot begins to awkwardly force some laughter. Steadily, it grows genuine as she watches Ivory roll down the sand. “Ahaha! Hahahaha! Okay, that’s too far. **GET BACK HERE!”** she barks, scrambling forward as the little one ends up in the tide.

 

Before Peridot can catch Ivory, though, Pearl is already fucking _there_ from who-knows-where. Probably ripped a pocket open in the dimension of space-time. Peridot wouldn’t doubt it with her current level of determination, the way she practically dives in to ‘rescue’ her baby that hasn’t gone more than even waist-deep.

 

“Be _careful! Keep_ a closer _eye_ on _her!”_ Pearl squawks at Peridot once she catches her daughter.

 

Peridot takes it in stride. Gemlings were actually pretty good at swimming — they had it programmed into them — but all that meant was that they could paddle, not that they knew were they were paddling _to._ It was all too possible for them to go and get swept up. At least it was all too _im_ possible for them to really drown.

 

Pearl continues to screech at her, holding a squirming, laughing, snotty gemling in her arms. Ivory kicks at her waist amidst the yelling and she doesn’t even flinch — with how angry she was, Peridot wondered if she was even feeling it. Right in the ovaries, too.

 

Peridot lapsed into that strange trance where she heard the yelling but not the words: that happy place, not quite separate from reality but not quite within it, either. Pearl’s yakking reached her ears but not her brain.

 

“She _could_ have been _eaten_ by a **_seagull—!”_**

 

Ah. A seagull? That managed to break through her nag wall. Seagulls didn’t eat gemlings — well, not on their own, at least. In groups, perhaps (Peridot had seen some shit). 

 

It seemed as though this was the part where mothers lost touch with their logic in favour of instinctual emotion. Protection for their children, no matter potential gaps in their reasoning. Pearl was a smart gem. Very smart…until she got all emotional as her dramatic pearly programming made her so apt to do. It was kind of interesting to watch, actually: how she went from building a drill to insisting seagulls were going to snap up her daughter. Peridot made a mental note to write this down later in her beloved observational journal and zipped it up nice and tight in a head-pocket.

 

It’s a surprising while before she realises Pearl’s yelling has changed to cooing instead. She was now seated on the sand with Ivory, building sand castles again. Peridot shrugs and joins them.

 

“Your daughter’s _building skills_ are impressive!” Peridot compliments with a cheerful, goofy grin.

 

“Oh, _thank_ you!” Pearl gushes. “She likes building _steps_ with _books_ to try and climb out the _window_. I catch her every time, of course!”

 

Her previous anger seems to have entirely dissipated. Huh. Was that a _heat_ emotion thing, a a mom emotion thing or just a **_Pearl_** thing? Maybe a mix of all three. Peridot honestly couldn’t tell — Pearl always was a strange mixture of erratic yet controlled at the same time. Oddly specific about when she freaked, and how. Like a blender with the lid on, she’d heard Amethyst call her before. Like a closed Tupperware container full of bullet vibrators and angry wasps.

 

Peridot sticks her finger in the top of the former sand castle Ivory built, the one from before Pearl joined them. The grains cascade around her touch, spilling in waves and effectively destroying the little structure. Ivory was too concerned with her mother to care.

 

“Now, I haven’t used this power since Season One, but…” Pearl touches her palms to the sand, then raises them. The sand magically funnels upwards, fluidly following her motions, before settling as figures of herself and Amethyst. Ivory’s eyes grow so huge they look like they might pop.

 

 _“Wooowww—!!_ **_Coooooollllll—!!”_** she squeals. “How?!”

 

Pearl smiles at her, and the sand figures collapse. She takes a deep breath, and gracefully begins: “ _Imagine_ yourself as—“

 

 _“Fwoooshhh!”_ Ivory whistles, flapping her hands over and over again like a pompous orchestral conductor, eyes closed in a less-than-elegant imitation of her mom. A few tries in, Pearl notices that some stray grains of sand are rising along with Ivory’s fingers, and she claps excitedly.

 

“Oh! Oh! Very _good! Look!”_

 

“My castle’s better,” a voice brags from behind them. Everyone turns to see Lapis suspended in midair, wings flapping and a swirling liquid castle erected from the water beneath her.

 

“That’s not a _sand_ castle,” Pearl sighs, as though she was the only one seeing something so obvious.

 

“It’s a water castle,” Lapis replies with a shrug. Ivory was still swishing her hands.

 

Peridot jumps to her feet, giving Lapis two thumbs up. “I think it looks great, Lapis!”

 

“Thanks,” Lapis says, smiling faintly and cheeks flushed.

 

* * *

 

“Oh, _Amethyst_. So nice,” Pearl sighed into Crocmethyst’s scaly skin. Mauveine was in her clutch, bobbing up and down securely in the cerulean waves. The sun beat down on them, but it was breezy enough to be refreshing; breezy enough to spray a salty mist onto their faces. Lacking sensitive mucous membranes left gems — and ‘lings — unbothered by the sensation.

 

Pearl hums. “It would be even better if you were just _yourself_ , though. A bit too — ah, _scaly?_ For my tastes.”

 

Mauve dips her hands in the water, trying to catch a fish. It doesn’t work, so with Pearl holding onto her waist and watching fondly, she dunks her whole head and upper body in instead, waving her paws around. She ensnares a big ol’ slimy one and gazes curiously at it, beautifully oblivious to her rudeness.  It wriggles free from her grasp moments later, and she watches as it swims off. Once it disappears, her head resurfaces once more. The breath she takes is habitual, not necessity.

 

“How’s this?” Amethyst asks, form shifting into an oversized, purple swan. 

 

“Mmm,” Pearl hums into her feathers, clinging to that thin neck with Mauve. “Well, I _do_ like swans—“

 

“You’re a swan.”

 

“Be yourself,” Pearl laughs. She knows she’s being messed with, but she has to enforce the message anyways. “That’s who I want. That’s who I love _.”_

 

“Mommy, hair got wet,” Mauve loudly complains, tugging on Pearl’s tunic. She lifts the white mop up over her eyes and Pearl runs her fingers through it, pinching the ends and squeezing water out…before Mauve just shakes it out like a wet dog. 

 

“How about this?” Amethyst asks again, turning into a huge shaggy dog.

 

“You’re hairy, but not _furry.”_

 

“This?” Now she was a tortoise, Pearl’s skinny ass perched atop and Mauve in her lap. 

 

_“Hmmm…”_

 

“Mommy, birdy!”

 

“This?” A magnificent dappled stallion.

 

“Too big.”

 

“This?” A lion.

 

“You have a mane?”

 

“This?” A dragon.

 

“ _Again_ with the **_scales!”_**

 

Mauve climbs Amethyst’s serpentine neck and tries to stick her fingers in her nose, awarded with a small puff of smoke.

 

“Eh? _Eh?”_

 

“ _Really_ , Amethyst? A _bear?”_ Pearl can’t help but laugh as Amethyst floats on her back and pulls Pearl and Mauve on top of her. Mauve squeaks, burying her face into wet fur. Sharp yet gentle claws carefully tickle Pearl, wrapped firmly around her tiny chest.

 

“Okay, okay — I’ve _definitely_ got it now.”

 

Pearl sighs again, happily into Amethyst — _real_ Amethyst, with her shaggy, tangled-wet, pale hair tickling Pearl’s nose, with her full lips, lovely purple skin, croaking laugh. Her warm body clutched Pearl’s to hers and pulled her through the rocking yet peaceful tide, leaving their gemling delightfully squished in between them, little head rested on Pearl’s shoulder and all of their forms submerged in the warm water. Nothing could ever be better.

 

* * *

 

 _“Aaannnddd…_ **_GOOOOOO—!!”_ **

 

Amethyst summons the entirety of her strength to launch Pearl as hard as she can across the ocean. When Pearl disappears from view, Amethyst rubs her hands together proudly. Garnet stares at the sky with a proud view and Violet in her arms.

 

“Wow!” Steven laughs, starry-eyed. “Look at Pearl go!”

 

The gemlings watch with awe, heads lifted and perked like dogs hearing a siren. Suddenly, Mauve points in Pearl’s direction and screeches because her mom just fucking died. At least she has two of them…otherwise, she would join Steven’s club.

 

“Hahaha, it’s okay!” Amethyst reassures her, taking Mauve’s hands and lifting her so she’s standing wobbily. “I told you, we’re just playin’ _Hurl the Pearl!_ It’s a game where you throw Pearl as far as you can across the ocean. Whoever throws her the farthest, _**wins!** _ But, uh — the only one who can really tell is _Pearl_ , and she doesn’t like disappointing people, so there usually isn’t a winner, but… She loves it! Didn’t you see that _smile_ on her face?!”

 

“Yeah!” Steven chimes in. “It was really scary the first time I saw it, but Pearl just comes back walking on top of the water! It’s fun!”

 

“Okay, okay.” Amethyst lets Mauve stand on her own. She manages for a few seconds, then falls onto her rump again, hair bouncing. “Listen, if you’re still scared, then I’ll go get mommy myself! _Suuurrrfff’s up!”_ She runs back into the water and with a rain of light and sparkles, a purple dolphin swims away.

 

Concerned tears start pooling in Mauve’s eyes.

 

“It’s okay, Mauve!” Steven says, sitting next to her and pulling her into his lap. “Like I said, Pearl can walk on the water, so she’ll be fine! Man, I wish _I_ could walk on water…”

 

Nearby, Ivory forms a big blue bubble, her mouth an ‘o’ as she releases it watches it drift off. Steven stares jealously.

 

“ _And_ I wish I could have controlled my powers when _I_ was a baby!"

 

Ivory loses her focus listening to him whilst forming the next bubble, and it touches her pointy nose and pops. She blinks, then starts laughing. Her squeaky giggles are contagious.

 

Steven’s jealousy wanes. “Haha, maybe you could use some practice too…”

 

Mauve crawls out of Steven’s arms and for seemingly no reason whatsoever, smacks her sister on the cheek. Ivory grits her teeth and smacks her back, to which Mauve bites her hand and pushes her down, climbing on top for a fight. Steven watches the baby brawl in horror, hands clasped to the sides of his face. He’s completely unsure of whether or not he’s supposed to break these fights up — sometimes the gemlings acted like little puppies or kittens, so maybe it was normal for them to wrestle like this. He looks to Garnet for help, but she’s too distracted by making silly faces at a smiling Violet, and Steven simply can’t take that happiness away from her.

 

Fortunately, Lilac saves the day by barreling her body in between her sisters to break the fight up. _Un_ fortunately, the others don’t care much, so they started beating her up too. Lilac puffs her body up angrily and snaps at them like a shark. Steven panicked. It was actually frightening.

 

There’s a laugh from behind him, and he turns just in time to watch Pearl’s smile dissolve when she catches sight of her gemlings fighting. The purple dolphin she swam back with sprays from its blowhole. 

 

“ _What_ are you three _doing?!”_ she yells, harsh enough to make anyone obedient. She marches over, feet sloshing in the wet sand. “Stop fighting, **_now!”_**

 

“Yeah!” Amethyst rasps, shapeshifting to her usual form to stand by Pearl’s side. “Cut it _out_ , little dudes!” 

  
“Sorry!” Steven apologises like crazy. “Sorry, guys! They just started fighting, a-and—“

 

“No, no. It’s _okay_ , Steven. They do this often.” Pearl sighs, leaning down and sticking a hand between the tussling gemlings. Lilac looks up at her with big, sad eyes, while Ivory nips at her fingers. Pearl isn’t fazed. “ _Why_ were you _fighting?”_

 

“Oops. Sorry. Forgot,” Lilac mumbles. For what it’s worth, she seems incredibly honest.

 

“Uh-huh,” Amethyst says, not quite sure herself whether she’s buying it or not. 

 

“She _hi’_ me!” Ivory angrily shrieks, pointing at Mauve.

 

“Now _that_ I can believe,” Amethyst snorts, rolling her eyes. “Why?!”

 

 _“S’ow_ off,” Mauve grumbles. 

 

The moment the words leave her mouth, Pearl starts snickering. “Well, of _course_ she is!”

 

In all her years, she had never met a pearl that _wasn’t_ emotional, dramatic, flamboyant or obnoxious in some way, be it tinted by melancholy or sparky and pompous. They were formed to entertain others. They had to know how to put in a show.

 

She hated being gawked at like a trophy. She loved being gawked at for her talents. There was something deliciously empowering about being elegantly vain on her own terms. There was something even more empowering about her own daughter showing off because she was proud of herself and wanted to be like her mom, sans the validation that Pearl often craved.

 

Kids were selfish in all the right ways. Perhaps she had much to learn from the sheer innocence of untainted youth.

 

“What are you laughing about, Pearl?” Steven asks.

 

“Nothing,” she giggles. “It’s — nothing. Let her show off if she wants to! That’s _no reason_ to bully your _sister_. You’ll all get _equal attention_ no matter what.”

 

“Yeah!” Amethyst agrees with a nod. “It’s like, uh — 100% of attention, divided by _four—“_

 

“Are you _saying_ that _each of them_ gets _25%_ of our attention?”

 

“Look, it _sounds_ terrible, but they’re usually all together, so it works.”

 

Ivory and Mauve stare at each other, not quite sure what to make of everything. They decide to just hug each other while Lilac looks at seashells, earning a resounding _“awww…”_ and misty eyed mothers.

 

The only one who doesn’t coo at them is Garnet…as she’s too busy cooing at Violet, swinging her up and down. Violet adores it, except when she doesn’t, her patience running thin as she backflips out of Garnet’s arms and ‘fwomps’ into the sand. Everyone gasps, Amethyst the loudest, and crowds around her. Baby Violet’s eyes fill up with tears…then they dissipate as she starts laughing obscenely loud.

 

“…Huh.” Pearl whispers. She made some weird kids. 

 

Steven starts laughing too, watching as Amethyst lifts Violet into her arms, gazing at her with the tender love of a mother and praying she realises it somewhere amidst that kicking and impatient squirming.

 

Garnet’s knuckles crack, and the world seems to fall silent. “I hope you’re ready, Pearl.”

 

Pearl slowly turns to her, eyes wide with fear. They weren’t fusing. “I… _yes?”_ Garnet grabs her and lifts her up, holding her above her head. “OH! **_GARNET!”_** she screams, her voice fading along with her visibility as Garnet chucks her across the sea with the force of a thousand suns. 

 

“Woaaah! Haha! _See_ -ya!” Amethyst laughs as Pearl disappears. “It’s just a game, G!”

 

“I play to win,” Garnet replies simply, wiping her hands.

 

Minutes later, Pearl returns, skipping across the surface of the water like a stone and landing in the welcoming embrace of her family.

 

* * *

 

“Hi, Peridot,” Lapis says, flying so she’s next to Peridot and landing. Now that she was grounded, she was vulnerable once more. The sky was her safe place. In the air she was immune. In the air she had no worries. Nothing could touch her there.

 

Except airplanes.

 

 _“Hi,_ Lapis!” Peridot greets her. “Aren’t you going to join them?”

 

They were perched upon a cliff that overlooked the beach, the orange sunset illuminating their features. Beneath them, the gems roasted marshmallows around a fire.

 

“I’d rather be alone.”

 

Peridot quirks a skeptical brow. “But…you’re sitting _next_ to me.”

 

“It’s okay if it’s you,” Lapis says frankly. Peridot’s whole face flushes, and she desperately tries to whisk it away with her thoughts. “Why aren’t _you_ with them?”

 

“I _was_ ,” Peridot explains, “but really, I can only handle so many gemlings _biting_ me and so many _gooey_ human _confectionaries_ at once.”

 

“That makes sense.”

 

They sit in verbal silence, listening to the rolling tide and the sound of everyone enjoying themselves down below. With her eyes and ears equipped, Peridot can make out Steven strumming on his ukulele, Pearl roasting five marshmallows at once for Amethyst, Amethyst keeping Ivory out of the fire, Garnet warming her hands, and three other gemlings, staring mesmerised at the crackling-red flames.

 

It was nice, Lapis thought. To spend time how _she_ wanted to. So much of her time had belonged to someone else.

 

“Um,” she says, “so, about that argument…”

 

“It’s _okay_ , Lapis!” Peridot assures her.

 

“No, it’s — it’s _not_ okay. Look, being hurt by others doesn’t mean _I_ can go and just…hurt someone I care about.” She hugs her arms to herself protectively, wings wrapped around her form. It was a reason, but not an excuse.

 

A moment of silence passes before she continues. “I like gemsitting. The gemlings are really cute,” she says, smiling lightly. “They’re so… _innocent_. I can trust them.”

 

Peridot stares at her, unsure of what to say. Lapis was really spilling her heart out to her. She was flattered, but overwhelmed. Being so logical often meant her words sounded better in her brain than they felt in someone's gut.

 

“ _So many_ people that I’ve known have hurt me,” Lapis whispers. “Taken _advantage_ of me. Even the ocean hurt me. So, it — it scared me to think I’d want to be close to you, because I always get hurt. It scares me,” she repeats.

 

“It scares _me_ , too,” Peridot sadly admits with a frown.

 

“Maybe we can be scared together.”

 

“Y… ** _yeah!”_**

 

“Sorry about what I said, Peridot.”

 

“…It’s okay.”

 

"I really like you."

 

"Hey, I like you _too_ , Lapis!"

 

“Can I kiss you?”

 

Peridot’s eyes widen like saucers, tongue suddenly like sandpaper. “...I — I don’t know _how_ to!”

 

“Me either,” Lapis says, still smiling gently.

 

Peridot smiles back at her. “ _Maybe_ …we can be confused… _together?”_

 

“Yeah,” Lapis agrees. “Sure.”

 

Squeezing her eyes shut so hard it’s painful, she leans in, giving Peridot a simple, awkward peck on the lips. Their mutual breath hitched. It was odd and imperfect and beautiful and it made their forms tingle as though they had shared electricity. If anyone saw, they said nothing, leaving Lapis with a time and a place of her own, one uninterrupted and private and **_hers_** , with someone she wanted there and frightening feelings that she wanted to scare her.

 

It only lasted a second, but it felt like forever. 

 

Maybe the ground wasn’t so bad after all.

 

* * *

 

“Lapis, _Peridot_ — thank you both _so_ much for your _help lately!”_ Pearl exclaims gratefully, exhaustion clear in her voice. For once, the gemlings were actually chilling, arranged in a neat, seated line on the couch. Lilac was trying to ‘scrub’ Violet’s face clean, mistakenly thinking that her birthmarks were dirt. “We _still_ have to get you a _gift…”_

 

“Don’t worry about it!” Peridot tells her, voice full of more spunk than usual. Her eyebrows wag. “ _I've_ already _found_ my gift.”

 

Pearl — being Pearl — doesn’t notice the fact that Lapis and Peridot are holding hands. Amethyst does, though, and her jaw silently drops.

 

“Oh? Well, I’m glad you’re enjoying it so much!”

 

“Can you get me a Starbucks giftcard?” Lapis asks Pearl, unafraid.

 

Pearl frowns. Damn it. _"…Certainly.”_


	19. stranger than fiction (pt.1)

When the heat leaves it's obvious to every gem with a working nose and at least one eye. The air has cleared, the flowery mate musk is gone, and Amethyst and Pearl’s presences no longer feel ‘heavy’ as though they’re carrying a thick fog around with them. They’ve stopped grooming and obsessively tending to each other’s needs, too.

 

"Your heat is gone," Peridot says, giddily. "My _nose_ doesn't _burn_ anymore!" Her nose twitched like a rabbit. "Now you just smell like _pine cones."_

 

Amethyst frowned. ”Uh, yeah. I know you don’t like the smell, but you _don’t_ gotta tell me what's going on with my own body. Ended it with a _bang_ , though. Haha."

 

"How is she?" Peridot asked, observing the runt slung over Amethyst's shoulder.

 

Amethyst tensed. "Good! Great. But _boy_ , she is craaay- _zaaay_. Does **_NOT_** like being held, let me tell ya." Violet squirms in her  mom's grasp and reaches to grab at Peridot's nose. Thankfully, she doesn’t get snapped at. Peridot is now used to such touches from gemsitting and has warmed to them. 

 

 ** _"Ahahaha!"_** Peridot snickered like an imp. " _My_ nose is nowhere near as _impressive_ as your maternal _unit's_ , but it's still worthy of p--"

 

A noisy groan from Amethyst interrupted her. Forehead gemmers. They were all the same. 

 

 _"Uuu,"_ Violet cooed, drooling.

 

"Gross," Amethyst muttered, wiping her daughter's face off. Violet's patience ran thin and she hopped out of her arms like a frog, landing on the cozy couch cushions. She bit and drooled on the pillows, wrestling with them like she would her sisters. She kneaded them with her 'paws' and Amethyst sighed. 

 

Violet was so bouncy...so **_energetic_**. Every time they dragged her into the nest she hopped back out of it moments later, which meant they got barely any mother-daughter cuddles in. Even Ivory tired out before she did.

 

"Where is your mate?" Peridot asks her suddenly.

 

"Where's _yours?"_ Amethyst shoots back like a bullet, unthinking. Violet rips a pillow open and the feathers spew everywhere.

 

Peridot's face fumes. _"What?!"_

 

"Yeah!" Amethyst says, folding her arms. "Don't act like I didn't see you two holding hands--"

 

"That means **_nothing!"_**

 

"Uh, it kinda does, P-Dot! So, you two mackin' on each other or what?"

 

Peridot grit her teeth. "That's none of your business!"

 

"Then don't do it right in front of me! Aw, man," Amethyst said, defeated. "You know I'm not tryin' to _judge_ you, right? Not everything's a social hierarchy, dude. You're not gonna be punished here or whatever. I'm really happy for ya."

 

Peridot fell silent. She didn't know what she was afraid of. These were Crystal Gems. ”...Fine! **_Yes.”_** She straightened and closed her eyes, speaking matter-of-factly. “We’ve been _exploring_ since that night _you_ all had the fire outside."

 

Amethyst smiled. “Hah! Nice, dude, _nice_." She punched Peridot's arm, breaking her composure. "Get 'em, P-Dot!"

 

**_"Ow!"_ **

 

* * *

 

The inspection process was one memory that Pearl wished she could forget. Unfortunately, she remembered every second of it. It was burned into her brain like a brand.

 

She emerged from the pools of water that Homeworld made pearls in. She was in the middle of a long line, but the pearls flanking her were formed in the same oyster. They weren't family in the truest sense, but for all intents and purposes, they were still her "sisters". To her left, a black pearl with sleek jet hair and a wicked sidebang, midriff bared to expose the pearl in her navel. To her right, a pink pearl, cute curly hair and humming a little tune. 

 

They were fidgety and twitchy just like Pearl, but lacked the true subservience one might expect from a servant class. Submission was within them, but not forced yet. Quiet and awkward, yet entirely willing to speak up. Sleeker. The black pearl examined her fingernails and blew on them as though she'd gotten a less than perfect manicure, side-eyeing the door and tapping her foot with boredom whilst waiting for the examiner to show up.

 

She tapped Pearl on the shoulder. "Hey, do you know when this is _over?_ I mean, _seriously_ \-- I'm gonna jump back into the water at this point!"

 

Pearl smiled and politely shook her head. The pink pearl kept singing, growing progressively louder.

 

"Quit _yapping_ down there!" yelled someone near the front of the line. "My _head_ hurts, so _shut_ your **_beak!"_**

 

The door opened and the inspector tourmaline walked in. Pearl's siblings immediately went silent and bowed their heads. When the inspector gave her a glare, Pearl glared back. Was she supposed to be scared? They should have chosen someone intimidating, in that case.

 

Tourmaline's eyes narrowed. She flicked Pearl's gemstone. "Something wrong with this one?"

 

"Heeey!" Pearl cried, covering her gem. _"I'm--"_

 

The panicking black pearl cut her off with a sharp elbow to the ribs. "What are you _doing?!_ " she whispered.

 

"What?!" Pearl sputtered back, confused.

 

The inspector barked at her and Pearl stiffened, startled by the noise. It was a miracle they didn't instantly fail her.

 

Tourmaline summoned a diamond-shaped panel that functioned like a floating computer. Displayed were rows and rows of shades, one for each general colour family a pearl could come in. She scrolled through them with anxiety-inducing slowness. Blue pearl, yellow pearl, green, purple, pink -- Pearl's swatch was at the very end, amongst the silvers and gold tints. Pure white pearl. 

 

The examiner tapped the swatch and opened a page with paragraphs of text and an image of an ideal "specimen" on it. There were several photographed pearl gemstones with checkmarks and x's to demonstrate acceptable levels of lustre and shape. There was even one cut in half to show off the layers of nacre inside.  When Pearl caught sight of it, she swallowed painfully and averted her gaze, wondering who that one was.

 

The first phase of the inspection was the colour matching. The panel's shape warped into a rectangle with columns consisting of every shade of blue that should exist on Pearl's body. The examiner held the colours up to the creases, shadows and dips in her form to ensure that absolutely everything was correct. Nothing was left behind. They checked Pearl's eyes, tongue and even the soles of her feet. 

 

After all, if a gem was off colour, there was no reason to bother with them. Had to find them and wipe them out early.

 

The measuring phase of the examination was even more invasive. The computerised panel returned to its original diamond shape and Tourmaline tapped "NEXT". There was a sweeping animation, and a page full of numbers and specifications appeared. A quick once-over was given before the page morphed into a ruler.

 

The examiner barked at Pearl to stand as straight as possible. After her overall height and individual arms and legs were measured, Tourmaline moved to check the space between her eyes, how much of her gem protruded from its embedding in her forehead, the lengths of her fingers, the symmetry of her breasts and the size of her hips. Her nose, too, of course. The nose of a pearl was held to one of the most rigid standards amongst gem inspections. Examiners were known to take massive amounts of points off for noses deemed "defective" in any way. 

 

Where was the personality without it, right? Where was the worth without it, right? They were scores, not gems.

 

Pearl hated that ruler. That ruler turned her into a number and told her whether she was acceptable or not based on someone else’s standards. Those ugly inspecting hands prodded her and pressed against her to check the sharpness of her cheeks and the jutting of her hipbones and the prominence of her shoulder blades. She wanted to bite. Her jaw was locked, her gaze firm to the floor and her limbs quivering. She was ordered to bend down and touch her toes so they could see the ripple of her spine, to flick her wrists and cock her hips this way and that and to stretch like this to ensure her flexibility was up to snuff. She did so begrudgingly, swallowing her pride to save her life.

 

Finally, they all had speak into a microphone and hit several octaves to test pitch, clarity, tone and ensure that their voices were acceptable variations and within range. Pass.

 

Pearl scored a perfect 100%. The black pearl -- 100%. The pink pearl -- 97%. Pearl would never forget the look of panic on another blue pearl's face when she was told her nose was too short...and the following look of relief when the examiner told her she was free to go anyways. Pearl left just in time to overhear one failed white pearl being held behind. When she made it outside of that godforsaken room, her chest deflated with an enormous breath she didn't know she was holding.

 

Pearl examinations were more rigorous than others. They had to score at least a 95% to pass, and anything less than 100% would be marked on their profiles. Their future owners had to know that their trophies were dented, after all. This was in comparison to other gems who needed at least 85% and got no markdowns.

 

Peridot had informed Pearl that invasive gem examinations had now been replaced by software that simply scanned each gem and stated whether they were approved or not. They no longer had the time nor the resources to put any "love" into the process. Despite this system being quick and efficient, the new tech was shoddy and still being debugged, which led to a lot of <85% gems accidentally passing through. It no longer mattered to Homeworld, though. If they focused only on flawless gems, they would now end up with too few.

 

Were Pearl willing to mention the inspections to Steven, she would have used them to further explain that gems had varying talents and physiologies, as they all had unique exams and examiners familiar with their own special brand of traits. Only gems expected to dance and perform needed flexibility and stretch testing, for example.

 

The truth of the matter was that different gems were made for different purposes. Not even the Crystal Gems could deny this. They believed that it was a morally wrong system, that no gem should ever be forced to honour it, but accepted that they were made with the intent of fulfilling a particular role within Homeworld's caste system. They had to accept that. Their forms could prove it.

 

A prime example was Pearl's resilience to dance. Though graceful and elegant on the surface, ballet could be truly punishing on the human body. Arthritis, bad hips, damaged feet, torn tendon and ligaments, sprained ankles and sore joints. Pearl, however, had never suffered a single injury from thousands of years of dance. Pearls bounced across the world so fast they were practically floating, skipping in ways that would break the toes of humans and make other gems cry mercy. It was actually _more_ comfortable for Pearl to do pointe than walk the usual way, implying a unique structure and physiology. In comparison, until her form grew accustomed, Pearl had suffered sore wrists and arms in the beginning of her swordfighting career -- an art that she hadn't originally been designed for.

 

This innate diversity was made even clearer by how the gemlings walked, now that they were. The pearls pushed themselves up daintily, taking careful, precise steps as though the floor was lava. Mauve seemed almost afraid, whilst Ivory wanted to be perfect in her walk. Meanwhile, Lilac simply barreled her way through everything with clumsy stomps that reminded Pearl of how Amethyst sometimes rolled off the bed or couch while sleeping. Of course, Lilac always lended a hand to baby Violet, lifting her little sister up and carrying her so she didn't have to crawl along.

 

The ever curious Steven had a question about it all.

 

"Hey, Pearl?" he asks as Pearl makes her first snip of Ivory's overgrown hair. Ivory watches it float past her face, staring at her mother with bewilderment. "How are the gemlings growing? I thought gems didn't age..."

 

" _These_ ones do," Pearl says with a smile. Another snip of hair drifted past Ivory's face and she swatted at it, her thick, curly eyelashes now revealed. Amethyst's. "From child to _adult_ , that is. They have an _organ_ that _stores_ the _nutrients_ absorbed from Amethyst's body in utero—“

 

"Huh!" Amethyst calls from across the room. "So _that's_ why I was eating rocks like crazy!"

 

"You've always eaten rocks," Garnet points out.

 

"--over _time_ , these _nutrients_ are slowly dispersed, resulting in growth. Naturally, things can go... _wrong_ , causing a gemling to grow too fast or too slow." Snip. “It’s very much an attempted simulation of human growth. And, _oh_ \-- there are plenty of **_other_** differences, as well." She gently pried Ivory's mouth open. "Sharp teeth, for example--"

 

"Is _that_ why Peridot's teeth are so sharp?!" Steven interrupts, so loud he startles Mauve.

 

Pearl's eyes widened, and she caught sight of Amethyst and Garnet staring at her. Even with the shades, Garnet's usually monotonous expression was surprised. "Oh," Pearl whispered. _"Oh,"_ she said again, louder now. "That would... _certainly_ explain a lot..."

 

Explain a lot and mystify even more. How could a gem that had been birthed not understand that you weren't supposed to barge into a nest? Surely she would have witnessed her own parents tearing nosy gems apart. Pearl frowned, still holding Ivory's mouth open. 

 

 _"Ahhh,"_ Ivory said, like she was having an examination done by a doctor.

 

Pearl glanced down at her and released her face. Haircut finished, Ivory slid down off the counter, zipped back into the living room and zoomed around in circles. 

 

 _"Hahahaha! Fast!"_ she squealed...before tripping. She pushed herself back up and Mauve tried to clonk her in the head with her Cookie Cat plush as punishment for disrupting her beloved silence. Lilac furiously filled in a colouring book, and Violet helped her so they could hang it up on the fridge even sooner. Although the gemlings made noise, the silence was all too real for everyone else.

 

Pearl laughed, trying to break it. It helps somewhat, but she's never been a prime candidate for relieving awkwardness. "...Should we...order a _pizza_ , perhaps?”  

 

"Yeah," all those who understood replied.

 

* * *

 

Ruby and Sapphire never liked being split, but kids were an exception. There came a time for introductions and that time was now. 

 

Well, they could have waited a bit longer, actually. Maybe until the gemlings' conversational skills were better so they fully understood fusion beyond the realm of _"two smaller things make a bigger thing that smells similar and loves me just as much."_ When Garnet actually unfuses, however, this explanation proves more than enough, because the kids are ecstatic. 

 

...Except for Mauve, who burst into worried tears the way she always did when Garnet left. A couple of tissue wipes from Pearl later and she was fine, promptly climbing up into the sink and turning the faucet on so she could flick cold water at a horrified Ruby.

 

“ _Sapphire_ is alright with _fire_ , but _you_ can't handle a bit of _water?"_ Pearl teased playfully, head in Amethyst's lap as they sat by the fireplace that Ruby had lit. 

 

Sapphire giggled, absolutely infatuated. She didn't mind Lilac aggressively pulling her fringe back to check out the whole one-eye ordeal, nor the excited sniffs. Lilac dragged out her colouring book, flipping through to show off her masterpieces and silently ask Sapphire to help her.

 

"Ice is just frozen water, Ruby!"

 

"Yeah, exactly! It's _frozen!"_ Ruby choked, as though the sprinkling water was a torture device. It was half genuine and half dramatisation -- she liked making everyone, especially her mate, laugh.

 

"They like you, dear!" Sapphire exclaimed, covering her mouth to stifle her delight.

 

"Yeah, man," Amethyst snickered. "Get a taste of that tough _baby_ love."

 

"They're _nothing...but..._ ** _trouble!"_** Ruby fake coughed as Ivory, Violet and Mauve tackled her, crawling over her stocky body and wrestling with her. They left bruises and teethmarks, but it was full of love.

 

"Just like their mothers," Sapphire said, pulling a blue crayon out of Lilac's offered box to help her finish up a cat.

 

"Aw, Pearl and Amethyst aren't trouble!" Steven said.

 

"Just one of us," Pearl murmured, tilting her head back to kiss Amethyst's jaw. 

 

"Yeah, it's you," Amethyst said back, smirking. She flicked Pearl's nose and gave the tip an apologetic peck. 

 

Steven blushed at the sight. He wanted to kiss a girl too.

 

Ruby released a sudden shriek of pain and Pearl turned her head just in time to see Ivory sinking her teeth into Ruby's arm. "Oh, for _heaven's_ sake," she squawked, "play _nice!"_

 

 ** _"Heeelllppp meee--!"_** Ruby screamed, leaving the room to erupt in laughter. Just like old times. 

 

The atmosphere was so nostalgic that Pearl forgot the burning question on her mind. Perhaps the answer was hidden because it was better for her to remain oblivious.

 

Obliviousness, though — **_ignorance_** — she couldn’t accept that. She never gave up on a question. Her brain wouldn't let her quit.

 

She was going to figure it out.


	20. stranger than fiction (pt.2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to my friends for not leaving me even though i write weird fetish fanfiction

_Pearl walked robotically towards her towards her destination. She hadn't existed for long, yet instinctually knew exactly where to go._

 

_She was within the confines a tube-like hallway, suspended in the air. She didn’t look down. The space was tight, but the see-through quality prevented them from being claustrophobic. The tubes were actually separate paths connected the main gem-making hub -- like the tentacles of a jellyfish -- and each transported different batches of gems after inspection._

 

 _There was a loud pounding next to her. She looked to her side and saw a bunch of rowdy jaspers kissing at her through the clear material. The jaspers? Next to the_ **_pearls?_ ** _Really? Whose idea was that?_

 

_They eyed Pearl like a trophy, banging on the walls and what she guessed was whistling. She ignored them and threw her nose up, and their ferocious laughter came down harder, shaking her brain._

 

 _A shriller voice sliced clear through the boom of the jaspers. One would think the woofy bass would drown pearls out, but their perky, nasally pitches rode atop others' and commanded listening. "Hey, you!" the black pearl called out to her, catching up. "What was_ **_that_ ** _all about earlier?"_

 

_Pearl's face twisted like she was falsely accused of a crime. "What?!"_

 

_Suddenly, more pearls popped up, in front of her, to the sides. From where, Pearl had no idea -- the hallways were straight, but it was as though they'd snuck out from nonexistent corners. All the pearls from the inspection. They peered at Pearl with their curious oval eyes and wide smiles. They trotted by her side like a herd, identical steps matching hers perfectly, all aside from one who'd gotten distracted and her mixed her feet up. She stepped right when they stepped left and lagged behind._

 

 _The pink pearl skipped ahead of the group, twirling and spinning. It was only then that Pearl noted the slot in the back of her leotard to expose the gemstone between her shoulders. She slowed down and gazed at Pearl. Worried yet cheerful, with rosy, flushed cheeks._ **_"Yeah! ♪"_ ** _she sung squeakily while walking backwards. "You_ **_showed_ ** _that inspector--"_

 

 _"That's not what she meant, you dummy," someone piped up. Powder blue skin, chin length hair with a suspicious cowlick that probably got a point off. "She_ **_meant_ ** _that you don't test your luck with the examiners._ **_Seriously,"_ ** _she muttered, lifting her neck to gaze at Pearl above the other heads,_ **_"you_ ** _could've gotten_ **_shattered!"_ **

 

_Pearl huffed.”Why should I be nice to a gem that doesn't respect me?"_

 

_The eyes bore into her. The jaspers from earlier hadn't stopped, but the tension was so thick that they'd been cut silent anyways, snipped like a wire._

 

_"Well," Pink Pearl said, her curly bob cut bouncing with her step, "that's not a bad way of thinking, dearie! ♪” The ends of her words were drawn out as though she couldn't resist the tickling urge to sing in her throat._

 

_"It's an obvious way of thinking," Pearl insisted, confused._

 

_The pathway went silent once more except for the soft pads of prancing feet._

 

_"...My eyes were too big," someone piped up._

 

_"My nose was too short," Blue Pearl sighed._

 

_"There's nothing wrong with your nose, sweetie!" Pink Pearl said, only to frown a moment later. "...My shoulders are uneven."_

 

_As they approached the door to behold the rest of Homeworld, Pearl listened to those of her new friends who'd been marked as less than perfect list off their errors. She had been given 100%, but she was broken in personality. Perhaps that was the worst flaw of all._

 

* * *

 

"Pearl."

 

She swears a voice is beckoning to her. An arm reaching out in the fog. Would she take its hand?

 

"Pearl." 

 

 _Traitors. Traitors. Liars. What friends. Why didn't they_ **_join_ ** _her?_

 

 _"Ah!"_ Pearl gasped, dropping the plate she was cleaning. It shattered and sprayed the floor with shards, the loud crash breaking through her foggy daydream like daylight. 

 

"Stop," Garnet said.

 

Pearl gasped again and clutched her chest. She leaned forward to rest on her elbows and took quick, desperate breaths. She shook her head, dispersing the rest of the mist. Colour returned to her form. 

 

"Pearl," Garnet repeated once more, her voice heavy and soothing. "You're alright."

 

Pearl's head fell into her hands. Like breathing, projecting one's form was a subconscious action, but it still took a bit of effort and could be stopped. Sometimes, during extreme emotion, a gem could lose their will to _be_ \-- like forgetting to breathe during a panic attack -- and drop their form, leaving behind their gem. They’d come back a moment later with no physical harm done, but the implications were what really stung.

 

She couldn't believe she'd nearly gotten to that point over her old friends. Why couldn't she let things _go_ , for heaven's sake?

 

"Just breathe," Garnet instructed, hand coming to rest on Pearl's stiff shoulder.

 

"Don't tell Amethyst," Pearl begged.

 

"I won't.  _You_ will."

 

* * *

 

"Okay," Amethyst said, patting her sobbing mate on the back. She was worried, panicked ice stabbing her heart, but she played confident for Pearl's sake. "Shhh. You're okay, Pierogi. Just breathe."

 

"Okay," Pearl repeated pathetically. Her face was buried in Amethyst's chest, and wet shirt clung to skin with tears. She gulped a ragged breath. "Okay."

 

"You miss them, huh?" Amethyst kissed the top of her head and pressed another into her gem.

 

"Yes," Pearl sniffed. The weight of everything wrong in the world and her terrible home planet was resting on her shoulders. She felt like she was decked in the stomach. There was a pregnant pause before she spoke again. "I'm _worried_ , Amethyst. What am I supposed to tell the _kids?_ What am I supposed to tell _Steven?_ About _life?_ About **_everything?_** It's _like_ I'm corrupting their _innocence!_ And now _Peridot_ is hiding something--"

 

"The truth," Amethyst said. She nuzzled against her, draping her with a protective embrace. "You tell 'em the truth. Just...delicately. Hey, we’ll figure it out."

 

* * *

 

"Peridot?"

 

"Pearl?" came Peridot's suspicious reply a moment later, her nose immediately alerting her to the presence. Not that she had anything against Pearl, but she didn't expect to see her so late. She peeked out from behind a corner outside of the barn. "What are you doing?"

 

"Just visiting," Pearl said. Her footsteps crunched in the grass as she padded over. Despite her stress, it was a pleasant summer night. The sky was lit orange by the setting sun, and the chirping of crickets buzzed in the background. The air was sticky but not too humid.

 

"You're lying," Peridot immediately noted. Pearl was terrible at faking.

 

Pearl observed the robot Peridot was building on the table and pointed. "It's missing a bolt."

 

"Why are you here, Pearl?"

 

"Am I not allowed to visit a _friend?"_ Pearl asked, crossing her arms defensively.

 

Peridot's eyes narrowed and a brow lifted. "You're a _mother_ ," she said. " _You're_ too busy chasing down your _gemlings_ this late at night. What do you really want?"

 

Pearl stood straighter, taking a deep, whistling breath. "It doesn't add _up._ Sharp teeth, an off-colour tongue -- even the extent of your senses is **_unusual_** for a gem. They're little details, but they _mean_ something, don't they? ...You don't owe me your privacy, Peridot. But if you're hiding a difference from _Crystal_ Gems, it has to be something significant. We won't judge you."

 

"I did it to protect you!"

 

“Pardon?" 

 

" _Your_ kind is sensitive," Peridot explained. " _Pearls_ cry at _everything!_ I don't want to hurt you, _especially_ after having **_gemlings."_**

 

Pearl grit her teeth. Her face ached with tension, Peridot's words a slap. " _Yes!_ Yes, we _are!_ I **_am_** sensitive! But I would _much_ rather know the _truth_ than be _lied_ to!" Her mouth grew dry, and she quieted herself. “…I know you mean well, but your words are hurtful. You need to understand that I’m not here to be _coddled_. That's _Homeworld_ thinking. I've been through _plenty--"_

 

 ** _“Fine!"_** Peridot shouted.

 

Pearl blinked, caught off guard.

 

"...I wasn't made like _you_ were."

 

Pearl stared.

 

"Tell me everything," she finally said, taking a seat.

 

* * *

 

" _I_ was _born_ to a powerless _peridot_ and an unknown sire--"

 

 _“‘Unknown?'"_ Pearl echoed, features lit by the fire. “Er… _why_ , exactly?”

 

"Don't interrupt, Pearl!” Peridot complained. “ **Ahem**. _…I_ was _formed_ in a simulated _womb_ environment using the extracted egg and sperm. My incubation wasn't sped up -- they wouldn't risk ending up with a _runt_ \-- but this process freed my parents to return to their jobs immediately. After I hatched, I was given to an obsidian caretaker who raised and studied me in newer establishments called ‘nurseries’ _._ Once I was of age and they had logged enough data on my patterns and health, I was assigned to my proper role as an amateur Kindergartner.” Despite the circumstances, Peridot still sounded proud of herself.

 

Pearl went bug-eyed and leaned forward. Was _that_ why Peridot kept a logbook on _her_ gemlings? “…But _why_ would _Homeworld_ ever take children away from their mothers? It defeats the whole purpose!"

 

"Homeworld is still trying to make up for the gems lost in the war," Peridot said, spearing Pearl with guilt. ”You’ll recall, however, that resources have _also_ run thin, raising concerns of just how well poorly produced gems can breed and whether or not they should be heat suppressed." Her tone was the voice of someone who'd grown so used to horror that they were numb. "Likewise, the _time_ required to fully _raise_ gemlings is extensive and takes the parents away from their duties." She put a hand under her chin. "With a _stable_ population this wouldn't have been a problem, but now..."

 

Pearl held her breath.

 

Peridot hesitated at the sight of Pearl’s ballooned chest, but continued. ”A large _experiment_ was carried out to both test the reproductive capabilities of 'lesser' gems as well as to see if they could bypass much of the time sacrificed to raise gemlings using these artificial wombs. The gem standards had to be lowered, of course, but if the results were successful, **_thousands_** of gemlings could be made without the time-consuming burden of being a parent."

 

Pearl's heart raced. On one hand, this meant there were possibilities for some kind of sperm bank equivalent, perhaps -- for when neither gem could shapeshift or for pairs of gems with fertility problems to have kids of their own. On the other hand, they were using it to turn moms into political breeding machines and…

 

“What kind of _mother_ would happily produce gemlings that she would never even get to love?” ** _  
_**

 

"None," Peridot said, shrugging flatly. "The sperm and egg are taken by coercion and intimidation. _You_ already _know_ what you get threatened with if you don’t comply.  And, well — this is just between you and _me_ — but _I_ heard a _rumour_ that they were next planning to ‘extract’ the motherly instincts from gems so that a postpartum depression of sorts wouldn’t occur and bog them down.”

 

Pearl’s stomach tightened further. “That’s horrible." Her voice was a whimper.

 

Peridot said nothing.

 

“If Homeworld has caretakers now, then why did you seem so unfamiliar with the prospect of gemsitting when Amethyst and I asked you?”

 

Peridot tossed another log into the fire. It crackled and hissed and mist of sparks pelted the air. “ _Your_ proposition had warmth in it. You expected me to love them and…hold them. Nurseries on _Homeworld_ aren’t like that." She shrugged again. "I was nothing more than a science project.”

 

Pearl’s head was pounding so furiously with blinding rage and grief that she could barely hear. “You’re more than that, Peridot.”

 

Peridot said nothing.

 

“Do you have siblings?”

 

“Ten,” Peridot replied. She looked away. “…I never met them.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Uh, for what?” Peridot asked blankly.

 

“That you were treated like that." The corners of Pearl's eyes pooled with tears, and her chest ached dully. “That you were never able to meet your family. I’m so sorry...”

 

Peridot’s face remained monotonous, but there was the slightest pained grimace. She blinked hard, trying to hold it back. “It’s no use being upset about.”

 

They fell silent apart from the crackling fire and Pearl’s little sniffles. 

 

“…Do you need a tissue?”

 

“I’m fine, thank you.” Pearl wiped away her eyes. Even in the orange lighting Peridot could see that her whole face was tinged blue. “I’m glad you told me.”

 

Peridot bashfully scratched her cheek, her gaze still averted. “I’m sorry for hiding this.”

 

“No, no,” Pearl sighed. “I _understand_. It’s not the kind of thing you would just _tell_ an expecting mother…you were looking out for my feelings.”

 

How would she explain this to Amethyst? To Steven? To Garnet? To her _children?_ She was a victim of reality, caught in its web. No matter how hard she fought, truth that she couldn’t change would come back for her. Even war victory was a loss in the end. She felt so powerless. 

 

“You’re pretty strong,” Peridot told Pearl casually. “For a _pearl.”_

 

She could have reminded Peridot about stereotyping, about how words were a weapon, but she opted not to. Instead, she just smiled. There was much less venom in the statement than Peridot used to have. She was learning. They were **_all_** learning. 

 

“I’ve never met one like you _.”_

 

“Oh,” Pearl laughed, thinking of her old friends. “No, no, you have. Not all of us were given a chance to show it, you know.”

 

Peridot said nothing, holding her hands out to warm by the fire.

 

It didn't help.


	21. blame games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter. couldn't go too long since everyone's so emotionally drained in this one. what's a good fic without some sads though
> 
> Next one is longer. And angsty. But then very happy and shippy! And worldbuilding that will answer even more raging questions. AND SMUT. Yay!
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> PS. i'll reply to everyone's comments from the last few chapters very soon. i've been hella busy with proofreading and other things.

"Um, hey."

 

Pearl looks to her side to see Lapis flying next her. Her footsteps atop the water don't stop, but they don't quicken either.

 

"Did Peridot tell you everything?"

 

"Yes."

 

Lapis forms an endless platform of water from the ocean and lands on it. "It's pretty crazy," she says. "Peridot always told me that gemlings on Homeworld don't like her, but I never asked why. Then she told me how she was formed, and...she was so isolated as a gemling that she never learned how to play. All she knew was being tested and recorded, so it didn't make sense that kids are supposed to be silly and playful, I guess."

 

Pearl is silent. She's powerless. It gives her a chance, however, to notice that when Lapis talks about Peridot, her face fills with genuine, tangible concern. It's so unlike her usual apathy. She can't help but stare. A lightbulb goes off, and Pearl produces a gift card from her gem and slaps it into Lapis's hand. Fifty bucks. Starbucks.

 

"Thanks."

 

"You're welcome."

 

Lapis hesitates. After seeing how she is as a mother, she wants to get to know Pearl better, but she has no idea what to say or how much the whole _pearl_ thing bothers her. "...I was offered a pearl once," she says. "I said no."

 

Pearl's stomach drops. "Why?"

 

"I knew Blue Diamond's pearl."

 

Pearl's eyes narrow, unimpressed. "As did I."

 

Lapis is taken aback. She doesn't know if she should be, but Pearl had more connections than expected. "...I didn't talk to her much or anything, but she had a lot of personality when she was allowed to. It really opened my eyes," Lapis continues, "that, you know -- you guys don't deserve that. Gems aren't property."

 

Instantly, Pearl's fists clench and anger boils in her stomach. Here she was, struggling with four kids, hopelessness, her old, confusing friends, and the massive, morally complicated **_trainwreck_** of a backstory that Peridot had shared with her -- and now Lapis had the _nerve_ to tell her something she'd been fighting for for _thousands_ of _years?_

 

"What do you want me to tell you, Lapis?" Pearl spat. "Do you want me to _praise_ you? To call you one of the _good_ ones? _That_ pearl was just given to somebody _else_ , wasn't she?!" She began to sob, tears mapping her face. " _Rose_ always told us about change, but nothing _ever_ changes! _Homeworld_ is still the _same! Using_ gems, _owning_ them like property -- there's _nothing_ _I_ can _do!_ Was Earth even worth it?!"

 

Pearl flees. Lapis watches as she bounds across the water and disappears. Her footsteps are completely silent despite the chaos within. It's impressive yet mortifying: the way someone can be in so much pain yet keep quiet.

 

She knows a lot about that.

 

"Fuck," she mutters under her breath. The first curse word she learned on Earth.

 

* * *

 

It's when she reaches the door that Pearl's temperature spikes. She gasps, wobbles, leans against the house for support as her body floods with warmth. It starts between her legs and pulses outwards in waves, washing over her form..

 

"Oh," she gasps. Her gem gives a powerful **_throb!_** and then her cunt and she nearly falls to her knees, sweat forming a shiny layer on her skin as her pores open and her vision blurs. Heat? _Again?_ How? Why? It had ended already, it shouldn't--

 

_"Ah!"_ Another pulse rolls through her, clearing her thoughts. She felt so dirty, so helpless in the face of her body and emotion, stuck in a vessel. Damn it.

 

The blinds crack open and Mauve's gaze streams through. Pearl stares back at her and stands straight again. _Pull yourself together._ She took a deep breath and burst through the door.

 

"Pearl!" Steven shouts, alarmed. "Are you okay?! Your face is really--"

 

"Fine! I'm fine!" she cries. Ignoring the gemlings trying to swarm her and the huge, pupil-blown stare from Amethyst, she opens the door and runs into her room without another word.

 

"Um..." Steven says when the door closes. "Did I do something wrong?"

 

"She's in heat," Garnet tells him.

 

"What's that?" 

 

"It's--" Amethyst fumbles, trembling. A hand covers her nose and mouth, trying not to inhale any of Pearl's rich scent -- it's so hard, fuck, it smells _so_ good, her fingers gap and, "it's something--" 

 

She feels a tug on her leggings and looks down. Lilac is staring up at her, eyes like portals. "Mommy okay?" 

 

"...Yeah," Amethyst wheezes. "She's fine."

 

Violet tumbles off the table and wails in pain. Amethyst groans and drags her hands down her face. She'd planned to run after Pearl, but couldn't abandon her needy kids. Who comes first?

 

* * *

 

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Amethyst coos to Violet for what felt like the twentieth time. Violet was turning out to be quite sensitive to pain, unlike her bigger, stockier sister. Amethyst wondered if she was just as delicate on the inside as she was on the outside. She presses a kiss against her forehead. "You just fell."

 

Violet heaves with another sob, then _finally_ relaxes with a shudder. She closes her eyes and wraps her arms around Amethyst's neck, face buried. Amethyst's chest fills with joy. Violet actually wants to be _held_ by her?

 

The door opens and Pearl prances out. Everyone turns to look at her, but she avoids eye contact as she scampers over to the sink. She kneels and retrieves a box of baking soda, pouring a liberal amount into two bowls. She places one nearby the nest and another near the doorway to absorb her scent. 

 

"Well!" she says, hands to her hips. She forces a painfully awkward smile, then bends over to scoop Mauve up in her arms. "How is everyone tonight?" 

 

From this vantage point, Amethyst can see that her hair is damp. She must have taken a quick bath to help with the heat scent. It helps a bit, but her senses are too finely-tuned. "Pearl, seriously! What happened?! Why -- how are you in heat again?! _C'mon!"_

 

Pearl gasps, looking towards Steven. Her face is still aflame and not just because she's on her cycle.

 

"Stress," Garnet says. "That's why. You talked to Peridot."

 

Pearl squeezes Mauve like she's going to disappear.

 

Amethyst does her very best not to inhale the waves of Pearl's scent that emanate from her. Violet drools on her shoulder. Her cluelessness is refreshing. "...What'd she say, Pearl?" 

 

"She-- I--"

 

She can't stop staring at Steven, and Steven can't bring himself to give her any encouragement. Sometimes not even he wanted to know the answer. A few seconds of eye contact, though, and Pearl snaps, defeated.

 

“…You were right, Steven.”

 

* * *

 

"An experiment, huh."

 

**_"Spearmint! Spearmint!"_** Ivory echoes. She heard that word on the flashing box -- one of those commercials where the humans put green sticks in their mouths.

 

Pearl folds her hands and says nothing. She's finished her recollection of Peridot's story, but finds herself unable to fully read the reactions of others, as always. They seem angry, yet distant; a concoction of emotion that she can't pick apart. 

 

Or, perhaps she can. 'Conflicted' was an emotion in and out of itself. There was nothing wrong with Homeworld piecing their population back together, but pressuring mates into supplying genetic material for children they would never meet? “Raising” gemlings like science projects in cold, detached environments, without the opportunity to be actual children? Unforgivable. 

 

To think that this wouldn’t be happening if not for the war. Pearl’s heart felt encapsulated by ice, and horror speared her stomach _deep_. Was Rose to blame? Was _she_ to blame? How many suffering fingers on Homeworld were actually pointed at the Crystal Gems? How many now damned their “former” existence?

 

Homeworld had placed a sizable bounty on Pearl’s head during the war. So sizable that at times it seemed they had eyes more for _her_ than they did Rose Quartz. It made sense. She'd always be a number to them. Homeworld thought her dead, but she had no doubt it was still in place. Something about a pearl being rebellious and getting away with it had practically poured salt in Homeworld’s gaping wound. Not a day had passed where she hadn’t been chased by hungry, drooling gazes and big arms, racing after her like she was a treasure on legs. A spy (bless her) had confirmed that there were specific orders to capture her, not kill her, and had retrieved several bounty posters with her criminal face plastered on them -- picture snapped at a bad time, of course, ruffled hair and all. Listed alongside was the exact sum to be rewarded for her capture and **_“WANTED”_ ** written in Gem. She’d stored several of the posters in her gemstone just for a spoil and the rest had been destroyed by her and her teammates to the tune of joyous cheering. 

 

She was too nimble to be snatched, the fly forever evading the swatter. Oh, how she'd scoffed at Homeworld’s technique, too. Maybe if they had sent soldiers with a bit of grace they’d have nabbed her. Maybe then…

 

Pearl gives Mauve another squeeze, then glances at her other gemlings. Ivory has her head in Lilac’s lap and Violet bites at Amethyst’s head, all blissfully unaware of the horror in the world. They’re happy. They're growing. They wouldn’t have life without her, either. She’s done something right after all.

 

“I don’t get it,” Amethyst says after a thick silence. Lost in emotional thought, she doesn’t even register Violet’s nibbles. “Why do Homeworld gems _do_ this? Don’t they have, like — **_feelings?"  
_**

 

“They’re detached,” Garnet answers. “It becomes habitual for them.”

 

“Yes,” Pearl says. She could recall the way eyes lit up and gems slowly nodded when she explained her philosophy to them — how frightening it was to watch others grow oblivious to the obvious. “Day after day…their emotional awareness is severed. They don’t know any other way.” She turns to Steven with a frown. “…Are you okay, Steven?”

 

“Yeah,” he says. “I’m fine. Thanks for telling me, Pearl.” He pauses, then asks: “Um, are you sick?”

 

Pearl laughs. “Of course not."

 

“Then how come you’re all sweaty and acting funny?”  


 

Pearl frowns. Was she really that sweaty? She forces another weak smile. “Don’t worry about it. ...I’ll tell you _later_ , okay?”

 

“Okay,” Steven agrees, despite his displeasure.

 

Amethyst’s arm lands around Pearl’s shoulders. “How you feeling, P? Like — in the head?”  


 

“Powerless,” she laments. “As though the war was for nothing. _Rose_ never meant for a war to break out. We could have — _I_ could have prevented this—“

 

“Pearl,” Garnet interrupts in that soft yet powerful manner that could ground the whole world. “It’s not your fault. You need to stop blaming yourself.”

 

Amethyst nods. “Yeah, that’s what I tell her, but—“

 

“You’re not responsible for what Homeworld does. None of us are.”

 

“I know,” Pearl whispers, droplets rolling down her face. Stars, if she didn’t stop being such a _pearl_ , she was going to cry herself out of tears. “I know.” She knew, and yet she couldn’t be. The power that knowledge delivered was both the power to build and destroy; vastness both her best friend and her greatest enemy. Exhausted and hot and flushed, she wipes her face and smears her tears all over her cheeks. She has to go back out to apologise to Lapis, but wants nothing more than to rest. “Let’s talk more _later_. …I need to lie down.”

 

“Mind if I join?” Amethyst pulls her into an affectionate hug and presses her lips against the side of her face. Her instincts to please and comfort her mate were on an all-time high.

 

Pearl feels another pair of arms around her. Garnet’s. Then come Steven’s and the wriggling limbs of her four daughters, full of earnest, innocent love. The arms wrap her in a tight embrace that appreciates her not because she is good or bad or innocent or guilty but because she just **_is._**

 

They squeeze as though they’re wringing the stress from her, intensity channeled through and into Pearl’s chest to wash over her being — and Pearl squeezes back _harder_ , home again for a few century-filled seconds.


	22. a break (pt.1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for not updating in a while, you guys! september was a super busy month for me and i didn't have time to do any writing except in my notebook. I'm all good now, though, and i hope you guys enjoy this chapter! I had a LOT of fun writing this one and tbh, what i have planned for the next one is even better. Let me know what you think, and thank you for reading!
> 
> content warning for: mating cycles/in heat, slight impregnation rp, recollection/flashbacks of graphic violence, late updates

"Harder," Pearl groans.

 

Amethyst hesitates. "You sure?”

 

"Yes," Pearl says. "Yes, yes, yes." She lifts herself up off Amethyst's lap, then sinks down again, taking her. "Oh, please," she begs, her glossy eyes empty yet full all at once. Caving in, Amethyst grabs Pearl's hip with one hand and runs the other up her shiny back, stopping at her neck to clutch her head to her. Her hips buck excitedly and her lips press against the sticky skin of Pearl's face, her hair damp and matted to her forehead with sweat. 

 

Pearl bites her lip and her hips come down again, sending a rolling wave of pleasure through her body. The thick, stretching fullness satiated something deep inside of her, some empty hollowness that needed to be fulfilled. 

 

"How many eggs fit in your little womb, Pearl?" Amethyst teases, pinching her flat stomach. Pearl whimpers, burying her face into Amethyst's shoulder. "I could make it nice and round and full, I bet." Amethyst delivers a particularly hard thrust and Pearl gasps, humid breath washing over her face. "You like that?" She bucks again, so hard that Pearl was tossed up off her lap. "You like that, huh? You like getting bred?" 

 

Pearl growls and sinks her neat, even teeth into Amethyst's neck, biting hard enough to re-open the mating bite left there and draw blood. Amethyst groans and shudders, Pearl lapping unapologetically at the flame, tasting the fresh metal of her blood. "Oh, fuck." She was losing. She quickened her hips, belly clapping against Pearl's in rhythmic strokes. “Pearl--"

 

"Coming," Pearl announces, digging her nails into Amethyst's back. She gave a whine that was almost tortured as her cunt pulsed around the toy and her clit throbbed and her hips twitched weakly against the lap she was fully seated on. Her vision blurred and her mind blanked, sucking in a hissing breath between her teeth. "Oh, God," she pants, slumping against Amethyst.

 

"Jesus, P," Amethyst whispers in awe, her neck stinging.

 

It was short but good. It wasn't less satisfying than an orgasm when she _wasn't_ in heat, but it was certainly more mechanical. When she was off her cycle she could only come once or twice, via her clitoris, and was usually too sensitive to continue without a long break in between. In heat she could just keep going and going, pushed over the edge by the lightest of touches, one after another to quench the thirsty blaze. When it was good it was very good, but it could get robotic -- like it was a treatment for a medical condition.

 

She was treated to barely two minutes of relief before her sex began to ache once more. "Again," she says.

 

Amethyst stops her, holding her hips firmly in place. "No way," she says. "You need a break.”

  

Pearl doesn't hear the words. "Again," she demands, rolling her hips despite their claim. Tears prick her eyes. "Again, oh, please—"

 

Amethyst grits her teeth. Fuck, Pearl was strong. Did she really think she was going to be able to hold her in place? Her purchase on Pearl's hips tighten even further, indenting her skin. "I'm doing this for you, okay? You need a break or you're gonna bruise yourself—"

 

"A _break_ ," Pearl repeats mockingly. Familiar words. She lifts herself off of Amethyst's lap and rolls over on the bed in bitter defeat. Her juices weep down her thighs. "As if I'm not _wet_ enough—"

 

Amethyst grins. She can't be mad at Pearl. It's simply how gems are prone to act in heat, stingy and sensitive. She likes to treat is as though Pearl's covered in double-ended pricks. She herself was pained, but you had to be careful where you touched her or you'd get stabbed, too. "You always say that but then the next day you're always cramping 'cause you went too hard, remember?"

 

Pearl's body visibly stiffens and then relaxes. "Yes," she sighs, defeated.

 

Amethyst bites back a laugh. She slips out of the harness and rests her hand on the small of Pearl's back, trailing upwards until it nestled comfortably between the shark fins.

 

"I was shot there," Pearl says casually.

 

Startled, Amethyst lifts her hand like she'd been zapped. “What?!"

 

"With an arrow." 

 

_"Pearl, you got hit! You got hit! Guys, Pearl got hit!"_

 

_"I_ **_know_** _, damn it!" Pearl cried as she trailed sluggishly towards the centre of camp, tears streaming down her face and her back drenched with blood. Every step seemed to bury it further inside of her body. "Out!_ **_OUT!_ ** _Take it_ **_OUT_ ** _of me, damn it!”_

 

Amethyst blinks. "Holy shit -- that's, uh, well, better, I guess, but—"

 

"There was a traitor in our camp," Pearl explains, rolling over. 

 

"How come you didn't poof?" Amethyst asks, her arms opening.

 

Pearl eagerly takes her place within them. "I did, but not immediately. There wasn't enough damage. Whoever crafted those arrows had a plan in mind." She pauses. Should she show Amethyst the poster? Should she show Amethyst just how much Homeworld would cough up for her to trade in her mate? Wanted alive.

 

Amethyst's worried arms fasten tighter around her as though she were protecting a precious treasure. "I don't care," she says, anger boiling deep inside her. "Stupid plan. They're never ever gonna get you -- I'm not, I'm not ever gonna let ‘em--"

 

And suddenly Pearl remembers that Amethyst would trade her for nothing, no currency, no spoil. Losing her was a mutual loss. Her stomach fills with the warmth of belonging and it blooms to her chest. "Relax," she says. "We found her." Her mouth dries. That traitor had found her demise by Pearl's hand, but justice now seemed to taste sour, not sweet. Should she bother mentioning that part?

 

"What did it feel like?”

 

_ Thwwwck. _

_ Something whistled through the air and stuck in her back. For a moment, Pearl felt nothing.  _

_ And then every nerve in her body lit up like venom in her veins._

_ Pearl screamed to nobody in particular. The entire camp turned to look at her. She nearly split her own tongue in two with her teeth but got her lip instead and then there was blood and blood and more blood and sweat dripping into her eyes. Warmth dripped down her back. The pain was like a hot, spiked rod had been forced into her, tearing her flesh open. It began to splinter and branched out to her shoulders, her arms. _

 

“Agonising," Pearl says quietly. _Pearl, you got hit! You got hit, Pearl!_ "I've been struck by arrows before, but something was unique about this one. I've never felt anything quite like that in my life." Guilt eclipses her features. "And then I -- I asked my teammates to pull it out—"

 

"Not supposed to do that?”

 

_"OUT! OUT! Pull. It. OUT!”_

 

Pearl looks away. "No. It tears the flesh open even further, this time on the way out. But I was in such _pain_ , Amethyst."

 

_The arrow was yanked out of her body with a sick noise and another spurt of her teal blood rained down her back and sprayed the ground. Pearl gasped with pained relief and she fell to her knees. The wound in her back miraculously began to sew itself shut, but the pain didn't stop. She was shaking._

 

_"I'm going to drop," she wheezed, spitting out a wad of blue blood from her torn up mouth. The entire camp watched her fall from glory in stunned silence, knowing they_ ~~_could_ ~~ _should do nothing but let her retreat and rest. "I'm, ah--"_

 

_"Pearl," a voice said, deep and booming yet comforting._

 

_Pearl slowly turned her head to stare at Rose, who loomed over her, casting a warm, welcome shadow. She was trembling but her eyes began to glimmer with hope and her bloodied lips worked into a smile that made her face ache. "Rose," she cooed. Rose would heal her right up and then she could go fight again. "Oh, Rose, please—"_

 

_Rose held her tears back and smiled. "Let go, Pearl.”_

 

_Pearl froze. "Wha--? What?”_

 

_"Let go," Rose said. "You need a break.”_

 

_"A break," Pearl repeated mockingly. Her form began to lose colour. "I d-don't n-n-need a b-b-re—"_

 

_Rose's hand fell on her paling shoulder. "It's okay, Pearl.”_

 

_"A break—"_

 

_She burst into a cloud and dropped to the ground as a gemstone, rattling._

 

"Pearl! Pearl, c’mon!"

 

Pearl was being shaken violently. "AH!" she gasps with a jolt. 

 

"Pearl! Pearl, are you okay?! I was talking to you but--"

 

"Yes, yes, I'm alright!" she insists, smothered by Amethyst's worried affections. A kiss was pressed into her hair, then another one, and another. She did not protest, but she thought that she was supposed to be the needy mate. "I was caught up in my thoughts, is all.”

 

"Yeah, well, you've been doing a whole lotta getting caught up in thoughts lately!" Amethyst’s face then softens with worry. "Look, it's just -- I know you're embarrassed about going into heat, but it's not your fault.”

 

"It _is_ my fault."

 

Frowning, Amethyst tilts Pearl's chin up with a single pudgy finger to look at her in the eyes. "Um, no. It's not. If you had any control over it, it wouldn't have happened, P—"

 

"I got carried away," Pearl says."I got emotional. It's on me, Amethyst.”

 

Amethyst fell silent, unsure of how to get to her. She was so damn stubborn, like a brick wall.

 

Pearl’s shoulders sag. She used to be excited to share what the culture of Homeworld was like with Steven...until he figured out too much. Now she dreaded it. Where was she supposed to begin with her own children, now? Lying and hiding things had disastrous consequences, she'd learned, but oversharing with children had similarly disastrous consequences. Where did you even begin to pick apart the brutal reality of the world? What was injustice in simple terms? How was she supposed to be sugary sweet but not cloying? Should she even tell her daughters what pearls were treated like? That quartz gems were war machines? _War, war, war,_ her mind echoed. It was war that had chopped Homeworld's population. _Her_ war. _Her_ victory. Was that it? Was this it? Was this all there was to victory? Her team crumbled for her to survive? She—

 

"I just don't _understand_ sometimes," she says briskly, cutting her own mind off. "Where to begin. How to explain things to children. I don't want to pass on the wrong wisdom. I—"

 

"Remember what I said?" Amethyst asks, kissing at her neck. "About just taking things as they come?”

 

Pearl nods.

 

"Yeah, well, take it. That day's not here yet. You don't gotta worry about it. It'll just happen when it happens.”

 

Pearl takes a deep inhale, then releases. Her cheeks puff out as though she has more to say, but all that comes out is a firm: “Yes."

 

She needed control. She craved control. And yet she would never have it.

 

"I'll never forgive myself if this messes up your cycle," Pearl says quietly, fumbling for the remote.

 

Amethyst snorts. "Uh, I will. We're pros at getting that all messed up, aren't we?”

 

For a long while Pearl simply stared, overcome with the knowledge that someone could truly love her enough to accept and forgive her when she was a burden, when she was an inconvenience, when she was sweaty, hot and disgusting. It washed over her in a warm wave and her heart seemed to swell to bursting. She gazed at Amethyst with desperate love then launched herself on top of her, the remote tumbling to the floor as she nipped at Amethyst's jaw and neck, stress melting away.

 

* * *

“Mommy?"

 

_Pearl's back slammed against the ground with a dull thud. Her blade fell from her hands and skidded across the earth. A wet, crackling heave tore through her chest, then evaporated into a drier cough. She tasted metal and—_

 

_"Got you! Got you now, you little bitch! How's it feel, huh? How'd it feel when I plucked you between the shoulders, huh?!"_

  

_It dawned coldly upon Pearl that this was the gem who had arrowed her in the back. The wound was healed now, but the realisation had the spot stinging once more. She was kicked in the side and spat again. "Traitor," she choked out. "You traitor—"_

  

_The traitor laughed, bellowing. "I'm just taking what's mine, you know!" She swung her axe and it landed next to Pearl's head, gouging the earth. Pearl tried to swallow but it wouldn't go down. "You seen that poster? That poster with that pretty face of yours? You seen how much they want for you, pretty Pearl? You're gonna be mine! You're gonna be mine! We're gonna drain this planet dry and you're gonna go right along with it!"_

 

_Pearl firmly believed she could stand up. There was a way out. She was in pain, but she had trained for this. She would not die here. She could not die here. No, oh, no no no -- she had committed herself to the fate of dying right by Rose's side. She had places to be. And yet her heart still thumped in her chest, rattling her entire form. The taste of blood rose in her mouth again and she swallowed it back down. Her muscles flexed. Oh, yes, she could move, oh yes, she could._

 

_Think, her mind said to her as it always did when she was in trouble, as though it were a separate entity, thinkthinkthink. Fake it. Stay down. Deception, it said as she felt her form recovering. Such a dirty game, Pearl. Are you any better than a traitor? She beat you fair and square. She deserves this kill. Or does she? She thought you'd go down that easy. She underestimated you like they all do. She took her sweet time but you don't have any to spare. Go on, get your hands dirty._

 

_This one's yours, Pearly-girl._

 

_Pearl smirked, springloading her haunches in preparation._

  

_"Time for you to go DOWN!" the traitor roared, swinging her axe back, loading it—_

  

_Pearl cried, delivering a powerful kick to the traitor's guts before the axe could come down. When her feet met the traitor's stomach she used the force of the collision to rebound and rolled away, grabbing her sword. The axe went flying. With no time to think she grasped the handle with both hands and thrusted her blade downwards, piercing the traitor's flesh with a single, clean stroke. The signature gargle ripped through the air, the tell-tale rolling eyes, and a warped, pained "YOU BITCH!" as the traitor's form tensed, then exploded into smoke._

 

_A gemstone dropped, and then rattled. It was an ugly noise._

 

_Pearl dropped her blade in favour of the traitor's axe. She gave the gem on the ground a calculating look then swung meanly, smashing it into bits._

 

"Mommy?"

 

Pearl wakes to a pudgy finger prodding her in cheek, chanting her newly-bestowed name over again. _"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!”_

 

Her eyelids pull apart and she briefly freezes with fear, wondering if her entire dream had been broadcasted to daughter. Thankfully, it seemed as though her forehead had been against a pillow, smothering the spewed bubble successfully.

 

"Phew," Pearl breathes, running a hand down her face as if to wipe the stress away. It came away damp. She felt rattled. She would go months without the memories, the dreams -- and then they'd return…

 

“Mommy!"

 

Pearl smiles weakly. "Yes, dear?" 

 

"Pang-win! Pang-win!" Lilac chants, pointing to the page of her animal picture-book. 

 

"Oh, yes," Pearl says. The name on the page was circled and there were arrows pointing to the picture, as there always were when the animal in question was a favourite. "It's a penguin. An _Emperor_ penguin, to be exact, from Antarctica—"

 

She was cut off by a pair of tiny teeth on her head, ones that she instantly recognises as Violet's. Normally the sensation would prove ticklish, worthy of laughter, but exhausted and restless, irritation rose in Pearl's chest. A stern snarl ripped out of her and Violet tumbled back in surprise, lesson learned like a naughty foal earning a little kick from its irritated mother. Smirking, Pearl props herself up on her elbow and hovers over Violet. The respect is clear in her daughter's eyes. Tough love is what works, it seems.

 

"Small," Lilac says, poking Violet's cheek.

 

"Yes, dear," Pearl says. "She's a bit different from you and I. Now, where's your mother?”

 

Lilac blinks, confused. “Ummm...here."

 

Pearl laughs. "No, no. Your _other_ mother.”

 

"Ow-side! Ow-side!”

 

Pearl stretches, arches her back, then crawls out of the nest and rises to her feet. She leans down to scoop Violet into her arms, but she struggles and squirms like a slippery frog. Violet grabs at Pearl's hair and tugs on it, settled at last, staring up at her mother with unassuming  eyes.

 

Pearl did not believe that children had any type of psychic link with their parents -- at least not yet -- but in that moment, gazing into her difficult daughter's eyes, she swore they had forged a telepathic bond, an agreement. _I'll sit in your arms only if you let me pull on your hair, mommy. It's a trade, okay?_

 

"Deal," Pearl says, a hiss of pain slithering between her teeth. Lilac glances up at her in confusion.

 

Pearl walks to the window and looks outside. Amethyst, Garnet and Steven were playing with Mauve and Ivory. The kids would runin the sand, then trip, and Amethyst would purposely make herself fall over to match them, erupting into laughter seconds later. It occurred to Pearl in that moment that children were utterly shameless and free of the burden of consequence. Adults had been tainted by risk and possibility; they feared death and pain while children were blank slates that knew not the potential misfortunes of their actions, simply satisfaction. Curiosity killed the cat and satisfaction brought it back. Fall down, examine the pretty shade of the bruise, get back up.

 

 "Ouch, ouch," she hisses, Violet tugging on her hair and pulling at her scalp. Violet chirps and in it Pearl hears: _What, mommy? We made a deal, right?_

 

"Ow-side!" Lilac cheers, running over to the door and standing on her toes to reach the handle. "Ow-side!" She was just a touch too short with her arm fully extended, and Pearl lends a hand, the door opening and Lilac flooding out. She runs clumsily down the stairs outside, faceplants in the sand, pushes herself back up and scampers into Amethyst's welcoming arms.

 

"Woooah! Heya, big girl! What's u--hey! Hey, you!" Amethyst's gaze fixes directly on Pearl. "What're you doing up?!" 

 

Pearl blinks. "Excuse me?" 

 

"You're _supposed_ to be lying down!"

 

"I was," Pearl scoffs. "I just woke—"

 

"Pearl, baby, I put you in the nest _ten minutes_ ago. Get your butt back in there!”

 

Pearl's eyebrows pull together, irritation settling in. "But earlier I...we were--" 

 

"Um, Pearl?" Steven says. "Are you sick?" 

 

Pearl laughs. "No, no, of course not. Gems don't _get_ sick." Unless they sucked up the contents of a messy room into their gemstones like she did and began to sneeze out clocks. It was a slight itchy feeling and required adjustment, hence why Mauve was sneezing and spewing bottles and keys out of her gem rather often. She hoists Violet up a bit further and says simply: "I'm in heat.”

 

"Oh," Steven says. "But, um...gems don't get hot like that, right?”

 

"Steven," Pearl says delicately. "Heat is a--"

 

"Pearl," Amethyst interrupts, her voice dropping. "You need more time to relax. What do you not _get_ about that?!”

 

"I'm fine now!" Pearl cries, her free hand tightening into a fist. “I--"

 

"You two," Garnet says. "There's a corrupted gem that needs to be bubbled. Go take care of it. Now." 

 

"What?!" Amethyst barks, gesturing to Pearl. "Dude, she's in heat! She needs to relax! She's stressed and she doesn't listen to anybody! She can’t--"

 

"Trust me.”

 

Amethyst and Pearl fall silent and are made acutely aware of the eyes fixated on them. They glance at each other and Pearl's already blazing skin begins to creep and prickle. She looks away, avoiding Amethyst and Steven's gazes, fixating on her children and the roll of the tide instead.

 

Violet pulls on her hair.


	23. a break (pt. 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this chapter, and thank you for reading!

"You sure it's here, Pearl?" Amethyst asks quietly. Despite her efforts, her voice still bounces off the walls of the cave, her lack of volume control cursing her yet again. It was dank, musty, water dripping off the ceiling and their only light the illumination from Pearl's glowing gemstone. It certainly helped that all gems could see an extended range of colours and had much better night vision than any human, but Amethyst trudged along slowly anyways. Pearl’s steps were light but confident — the amount of times Amethyst had seen Pearl trip over her feet was less than the fingers she had on one hand — but she had a bad feeling in her gut. 

 

"Of course it is," Pearl says firmly. "Garnet sent us." Her gem throbs, and then her sex. She can't control the shiver. "Hhh."

 

Amethyst saw Pearl's shudder and her scent washed over her face. Then came time for the real question, the one on both their minds, the one with an answer that was quite clear but that Pearl refused to admit: "You sure you should even _be_ here?" 

 

Pearl's head turns to face her and Amethyst saw her angry eyes glitter in the dark. "Yes."

 

Amethyst stares back, stern and unwavering. She gets it. It's embarrassing to have your heat pointed out. Chances were the gem in question was already plenty aware of it; it was the impromptu erection while giving a class presentation or the menstrual stain on white shorts, and pointing it out made it worse. But Amethyst was warning Pearl for her own safety. Embarrassing as it was to be reminded that you were radiating fertility, Amethyst had learned several hundred years ago from Garnet that Rose had specifically told Pearl not to fight when she was in heat. She had expected a funny story about how Pearl accidentally started a gangbang or something, but instead learned that her scent was to thick, so luxurious, so **_new_** that the opposing team could pick Pearl out from anywhere and were scrambling after her like mad. It was for that very reason that Amethyst was worried. Corrupted gems were still gems, as tragically warped as they were, and gems had excellent smell. If there was a monster in this cave, it would be able to find Pearl in seconds.

 

Pearl's complicated feelings with leadership had led to her denying Rose's commands. She had craved a leader more than ever back then, of course, but her overwhelming desire to please regardless of her safety had led to her often ignoring requests if they were for her "own good". Lately it seemed that the issue had intensified, but differently. Pearl was straying from the obsessive need for a leader, and as a result, she took earnestly helpful suggestions as attacks on her own self-authority. Fuck, Amethyst was stubborn as a mule, but Pearl could be even worse than her. There was a big difference between gently steering a horse the right way and yanking on its reins so hard its mouth tore open and bled.

 

Pearl would just buck you off either way. And sometimes, she would gallop right towards her demise before something spooked her and she U-turned. 

 

They descended further into the darkness, then Pearl turned around to face her, the light of her gemstone shining bright against Amethyst’s face. Amethyst didn't like it. She didn't like it one bit. The cave's wide opening looked like a mouth, and it was as though Pearl was about to be swallowed by—

 

"Shit," Amethyst mumbles as she trips onto the slippery, uneven floor of the cave, a sharp rock lodging right into her knee and making a new tear in her leggings. “Fuck.”

 

“Are you alright?” Pearl asks her, extending a hand. 

 

Amethyst doesn’t take it, hit by another fresh wave of Pearl’s scent. She rises to her wobbling feet, purple blood seeping from the wound and a damp patch spreading rapidly on the fabric. She licks her lips, chest tight, Pearl still engulfed by that gaping maw, ready to eat her up, eat her alive. “Pearl, c’mon,” she says urgently. “I really think you should get out of here—“

 

“But Garnet said—“

 

“I don’t _care_ what Garnet said! Look, you smell!”

 

_“OH!”_ Pearl cries, throwing a hand up, the blade of her spear aimed at the ceiling. “Here you are, always telling me how good I smell while we’re—“

 

Amethyst swore she heard a stomp.

 

“—making _love—“_

 

Stomp.

 

“—but when it’s not going _your_ way, oh, then it’s a _problem_ —“

 

Stomp.

 

“— _why_ can’t you just let me—“

 

The Earth shook. Amethyst froze in terror as a beast emerged behind Pearl from deep within the cave’s maw, the monologue continuing despite its thumping, thunderous steps.

 

“Pearl,” Amethyst whispers.

 

Pearl yapped on, but fell silent when she noticed the look of dread on Amethyst’s face. Her spear lowered, and her pupils constricted, keeping her movements quiet for what it was worth. 

 

Then she looked up, and saw it. 

 

The beast was utterly enormous, looming over her. Pearl’s breath hitched in her throat. It had a long neck covered with an orange mane, the thickest, most fantastical mane that Pearl had ever seen, the ears of a fox, skinny T-Rex arms with talons, and a sharp, white, beak-like face much like a plague doctor’s mask. Its jaws parted and a slithering, forked tongue snaked out, drooling on Pearl, and it occurred to her that this looming creature above her was blind and using its tongue to taste her scent and track her like a reptile.

 

She stared up at it, its musky, unwashed smell fogging the cave and its dripping drool plopping on her face. She got a good view of the rows of miniature razor-sharp teeth, the claws, and swallowed. She met Amethyst’s horrified gaze, then, and Pearl saw herself ripped open, and Pearl saw tragedy, and Pearl saw loss, and Pearl saw her gemlings missing one of their mothers, and Pearl saw grief, and Pearl saw herself in the war, her teammates urging her to please rest when she needed it, Rose begging her to stop putting herself out there in heat like a beacon 

 

_(twinkletoes here doesn’t listen leader should’ve left her behind useless fidgety twitchy_ **_PEARL_** _)_

 

and Pearl saw consequences, what would happen to herself and others if she continued to push herself too far. For heaven’s sake, what was _wrong_ with her?

 

With a strange, almost tired smile, she found her mark on the beast’s neck — X marked the spot on that thick, meaty jugular — braced herself, closed one eye, and quickly thrusted her spear upwards through the chosen spot. The beast shrieked, writhed, twisted, and practically baptised Pearl in a rainfall of greenish blood and gore. 

 

The monster exploded into a fluffy white cloud with a final shriek. Its gemstone dropped, then rattled. It was an ugly noise, a sick noise that made Pearl feel nauseous and reminded her of war. She’d heard that drop and rattle too many times.

 

“Holy shit,” Amethyst whispers, clutching her whip tightly.

 

Covered in goopy blood and drool, Pearl bent down, bubbled the gem, and whisked it away. Her spear disappeared back into her forehead. She needed a nice hot shower and some time to herself. Then some time with her kids. And then she owed an apology, a great big one, and then an even bigger thank you.

 

There was a throb between her legs, and then it turned into a steady pulsing, her gemstone pounding right along with it in a cruel, punishing rhythm. She resisted the urge to groan. A good, hard fucking sounded excellent, too, but chances were she’d have to beg Amethyst to sleep with her tonight after this nearly devastating mistake.

 

“I’m sorry,” Pearl says, fatigued. She owed both herself and Amethyst a bigger apology than that. It wasn’t her fault for being so emotional and anxious — Amethyst had told her that — butapology wasn’t just words, it was action and an active change, for her own safety and her own sanity. But for now, it would suffice. They needed to get out of here. “Let’s go home.”


	24. T.N.T

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG this chapter took me so long to get out and i am so so sorry for making ya'll wait!!! >_< so much shit has happened to me in the past 2 months i really just had to get away from the fucking internet...
> 
> I apologise this chapter is so angsty and that the gemlings aren't in it much, but in my own experience, kids tend to simmer down a lot when they eventually realise that there's a fight going on. They understand, and for that reason i didn't want them to keep popping up and distracting everyone from the issue actually at hand. They'll be back next time and so will the fluff!
> 
> Also, the fic's rating has been changed from M to E due to the amount of sexual content and heavy themes. Once again, this is not a fetish fic, but i think at this point it deserves a rating switch. I would like to remind everyone that this fic IS for 18+ only. I can't /STOP/ anyone from reading b/c there's no feature for that but if i found out you're underage and leaving comments i won't be responding. I'm sorry if that seems harsh, but i'm an adult, and i have to take precautions.
> 
> Hope you enjoy, and thank you for reading!
> 
> content warning for: flashbacks, brief suicidal ideation, brief hallucination, past ableism
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT 2/2/18: back soon

Pearl and Amethyst don't speak a single word to each other on the trip back home. Rightfully so, Pearl thought, she was not deserving of Amethyst's words and silence spoke plenty.

 

Pearl burst into their home and marched past Steven, Garnet and the gemlings, monster gore dripping from her body onto the floor. She opens the bathroom door and slams it shut. Her clothes disappear in a rain of sparkles and she reaches into the shower to crank the faucet to scalding. Normally she preferred her showers cold -- as cold as they could get, just like the water she was formed in -- but sometimes you needed to melt away.

 

The room began to fill with steam. Pearl steps in the shower without sparing herself a single glance in the mirror. The heat seemed to instantly consume her, washing away the monster's remnants.

 

"Ew, ew," she complains as she watches it disappear down the drain. Normally she didn't mind getting dirty when she was in the midst of a fight. Some of her fondest memories during the war

 

_(how fond of a war can you get really)_

 

involved being covered in dirt and mud during pouring thunderstorms, her beefy friends tossing her up and down and cheering as they celebrated their latest victory. But playtime was over, and it had occurred to Pearl sometime in the past several thousand years that blood simply wasn't a good look on anybody.

 

Now it was time to address the other problem. Pearl rests her forehead against the shower wall and reaches between her legs. She parts the lips and finds her clit and, almost mechanically, like it was just another job rather than an act of sensuality or passion, toys with it furiously. It's a matter of seconds until she comes with a shuddery moan and the rush to her brain has her knees buckling, thighs clamped around her hand, heart thumping rapidly in her chest.

 

Just as quickly as it came does her orgasm leave. It was quick but good and gave her mind just the little numbing that it needed to still be functional. Nowhere near as good as actual sex, that was for sure.

 

Pearl sighs and takes a few deep breaths. A hand clutches at her forehead, trying to steady herself after the intense rush of blood. The shakiness begins to ease and she straightens herself. Her heat in general had begun to fade away, as though it had run its course for the day. Just to make certain that as much of the scent as she could get was gone, she squirted a hefty dose of body wash into the palm of her hand and lathered it all over her form, closing her eyes and feeling herself as her palms ran over the sharp curvature of her body. It occurred to her that although her form was renewable, her mind was not. This was the only mind she would ever have. She had to treat it well.

 

The venomous roommate in her brain that coexisted with her began to rouse once more. It often took a deep, long slumber, then awoke to torment her once again. This time she would put it to sleep for good.

 

_(you are a dog. a sad little puppy without its leader. a lost little birdie strayed from the flock...cheep cheep)_

 

_(I am NOT)_

 

_(what would rose say)_

 

_(It does not MATTER what Rose would say because I am my OWN GEM)_

 

_(all that suffering and all that loss is YOUR fault it's YOURS IT'S YOURS IT'S YOURS YOU DESERVE THIS)_

 

Pearl chokes her own heart back down. She furiously rinses her body clean, washes the suds trapped in her pubic hair, then storms out of the shower. _You saved this planet from its demise_ , she told herself. _You are a good gem. You're worthy of love and respect._ She did what she was meant to as a Crystal Gem. She was no evil. Could she have prevented the war without sacrificing Earth, she would have. Rose would have. It was not their fault that Homeworld could never accept any compromise besides destruction. It was not their fault.

 

Fighting the strange, never-ending mental battle between logic and trauma, she toweled herself dry minus her hair, summoned her clothes, and burst out the bathroom door.

 

"I'm -- oh," she mutters, looking at the monster blood still on the floor. "Did nobody clean that up?"

 

"No," Garnet says.

 

"I'm sorry," Pearl says, acutely aware of all the eyes fixated on her. "I made a mistake."

 

"You sure did," Amethyst says, smashing an aluminum can with her hands and wolfing it down. The gemlings stare at her, and she barely offers a glance back at them.

 

Pearl begins to sweat and her scent pours into the room. "I put myself in danger," she says, her nails digging into her palms.

 

_(if only i had been ended this time around)_

 

She scans the faces of her loved ones in the room.

 

_(Why would you think that? What's wrong with you today? Get ahold of yourself already, Pearl. You don't want that. You would never hurt them like that.)_

 

Over by the window, Mauve releases a lively chirp to imitate an outside seagull, and Pearl felt that icy claw around her heart, the swollen ache in her chest when she loved something so dearly that she never wanted it to get hurt the way she had. "And _you_ , Amethyst. And I'm sorry. How I'm feeling doesn't excuse my... _irresponsibility_. I'm ready to change."

 

Nervously, recognising Pearl's growing tension, Steven shifts. "Pearl?" he asks, uncomfortable. "Um...the war really hurt you, didn't it?"

 

The very question feels like a spiked rod of ice shooting through her chest. She had done well to mask her suffering from Steven. She had never let him see this side of her and had never intended for it. And yet it had been dug up anyways.

 

It was not the first time she had relapsed and it would not be the last -- suffering did not end, she had discovered, it was merely postponed. But this time the memories felt stronger than ever. Her mind had led her down a new rabbit hole. There was a different element and dimension to her pain. It was not merely what had been done to her but what she had done to others. If she told Steven, her children, how much she had truly killed for this planet, they would never love her again.

 

Pearl's fingers tap at her thigh, trying to find an outlet for her anxiety. Apparently, she was not as relaxed as she thought. Meeting Steven's gaze, his innocent gaze, Pearl began to crumble under her guilt. She was a criminal. She was a rebel. A bad, bad _BAD--_

 

"You don't know what it's like, Steven," she says, her body trembling. Her eyes began to glaze over. It looked as though she was staring at something far off. "What fighting for so long can _do_ to you--"

 

Amethyst and Garnet stiffen in alarm, instantly recognising the look.

 

"Uh oh," Garnet says.

 

Amethyst immediately stands. "Hey, Pearl," she says, making her way over. "Hey, calm down."

 

Pearl stumbles backwards as Amethyst approaches her. Her back slams against the wall. Her eyes were huge and filled with terror. Whatever she was seeing was not Amethyst.

 

"Pearl!" Steven cries. It's not the first time he's seen Pearl crack under pressure, but it is the first time he's ever seen her with so many cracks that she begins to crumble. He'd always known that the war had left staggering effects on Pearl and Garnet, but their obvious pain while talking about it in any fashion had deterred him for prodding further. And now that he had said it out loud, Pearl had gone over. He noticed that her palette was beginning to fade. She looked lifeless.

 

"Pearl," Amethyst says, approaching slowly so her presence doesn't alarm her. Her teeth are gritted, frustrated not with Pearl but with the illness that has made her brain its host. Her movements were habitual. She knew the protocol -- trauma already had its hold on Pearl the very day that they had met. But this was the worst it had been in a while. _If only she hadn't asked Peridot_ , she thinks. _We could have just gone and forgotten this._ "Look, I just wanted an apology for a stupid mistake, not for you to beat yourself up. You were doing really well, Pearl. You stopped having nightmares, remember? And--" She remembers that Steven's listening and refrains from listing off the rest. "I mean...ever since the kids, it was like you forgot about the whole thing!" She forces a laugh, her concern growing more and more potent. Pearl wasn't even looking at her. Her heart began to thrump. "Come on, you don't have to feel shitty again. You went through some bullshit you didn't deserve, and I'm--"

 

"No," Pearl begs. "Nononono." Her back presses further against the wall, her chest pounding so hard that she could taste her own heart in her throat. She was going to die. They were going to kill her.

 

_(tap tap. is there something wrong with this one? yeah, there's something WRONG with her. is something wrong with pearl? she's a little nuts. she's got a few screws loose. she's a bit)_

 

Amethyst throws her arms around her, trying to squeeze her back to reality, but the moment she embraces her does Pearl's physical form give out. Her hug turns up empty, and Pearl's gemstone drops to the floor.

 

The whole room goes silent. Even the gemlings stared. Their mommy could be a 'goofball' sometimes, but that was the first time they had ever seen her be such a 'goofball' that she disappeared, like a magic trick.

 

Amethyst's gaze bores a hole in the massive pearl for a hopeful few seconds. Nothing happens. Silent, Amethyst kneels, scooping Pearl's gemstone up in her hands.

 

"...Hey Garnet?" she says, gritting her teeth. "Mind telling me why you keep saying this is gonna get better and it never does?"

 

"It has gotten better," Garnet says.

 

"Really?" Amethyst barks, holding up Pearl's gem. "Really? _This_ is better? How many times have you seen Pearl get so caught up that she starts seeing shit, huh?"

 

"More times than you have."

 

 _Ouch,_ Amethyst thinks. That stung like a good hard slap. "...Yeah," she says. "I know. Sorry. God, it's just--"

 

"Um, Amethyst?" Steven says meekly. "It's not my fault, is it?"

 

"What?" Amethyst says, eyes wide. "No, dude. No way." She sits next to him, Pearl's gem in her lap. "It's a good thing you brought it up. Pearl's been...man, she's been dealing with this for a long time. She's got all this soldier's guilt and this baggage from all the pain and death and Rose but she, she hides it, and it all boils up and explodes." She groans, dragging her hands down her face. "You know how Homeworld thinks about her, right? They hate her. She's a criminal. They want her just as bad as they wanted your mom. And I think that, like -- without Rose, maybe, she's been giving into it. You know what I'm saying? She keeps telling me about how she's scared of telling you and the kids more about the war, 'cause she thinks you guys are gonna look at her like some _monster--_ "

 

Steven gasps. "But I would never do that! I love Pearl. She means a lot to me," he says, his eyes getting misty as the seriousness of the situation set in. "And I know she had to do some bad stuff to save Earth. But if she hadn't, my mom, she...never would have met my dad, and..." 

 

"Yeah, I know," Amethyst says, arm around his shoulders. "And you should _tell_ her that. 'Kay?"

 

Steven nods, full of determination, his eyes huge and starry. And then they soften. "Garnet?"

 

"Yes?"

 

"Do you and Pearl want to go back to Homeworld?"

 

"No," Garnet says, smiling. "Earth is our home now."

 

"Then why does it matter to Pearl so much what Homeworld says?"

 

"Hm," Garnet says thoughtfully. "It's not always an attachment to what is, but what could have been."

 

Her words hang in the air for a long solemn while, up until Amethyst feels a pudgy pair of hands trying to pry Pearl out of her lap.

 

"Hey," Amethyst scolds Lilac with a depressing sigh. "That's your mom, kid. Can't just take her from me. I almost lost her too many times."

 

"Ow-side," Lilac chirps, gesturing to the windows. _"Outside!"_

 

"What, you wanna put her in the _sand_ or something?" Amethyst snorts, standing up, much to her child's collective delight. 

 

Lilac prances towards the door and reaches for the knob, quivering with excitement. Her sisters weren't as eager. They seemed frightened, a heavy cloud weighing over them, able to tell that something bad had happened but not what.

 

"Ew, God," Amethyst mutters, staring at the green puddle of blood at the door. "That's gnarly. Can someone clean this up already?"

 

"Not it," Steven says, touching his nose.

 

* * *

 

Pearl's back makes a satisfying crack as she stretches, her head still fuzzy and warm after returning from her gem. When she opens her eyes it's pitch black -- three in the morning, if she had to guess -- the early sky littered with stars and the air smelling of the ocean's salt. Her vision quickly adjusts to the darkness and it's then that she sees she was just outside the house. She frowns. Being placed outside in the sand to reform was either an act of passive aggression or kindness...

 

"Pearl."

 

 _"Ah!"_ Pearl squeaks. She had been walking while looking over her shoulder at the waves and had run directly into Garnet.

 

"Feeling better?" Garnet asks, smiling.

 

Pearl wraps her arms around herself and nods sheepishly, a hot flush washing over her face. She stares at her feet rather than Garnet. It's only when she spares a slight upward glance does she see that Garnet's arms are open for a hug.

 

She tentatively climbs into them, then _throws_ her arms around Garnet, bursting into tears.

 

"Do you--," she chokes, pressing her wet face into Garnet, "do you think about it _too...?"_

 

"Every day," Garnet says, patting her back.

 

"Oh, Garnet," Pearl weeps. "You're my best friend."

 

Garnet smiles. "Don't do anything irresponsible again, Pearl. We need you around. Do you promise me?"

 

Pearl nods.

 

"Welcome back."


	25. fiddler of rome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. the place where all the water gems are living is essentially Zora's Domain + lake hylia. there are a lot of these on homeworld, each are suited to different types of gems to stay in during their free time. Lapis lived in the same one as pearl; this is how they both know blue diamond's pearl.
> 
> 2\. the gem called 'Mars' is the black pearl from chapter 31. If you'd like a refresher on her appearance, go there! otherwise, just think emo. mars is the lapis of pearls
> 
> 3\. GEOMANCY WHY IS ONLY PEARL TALKING ABOUT THE WAR IF GARNET WAS IN IT AS WELL WHY ISN'T GARNET HELPING TOO GEOMANCY WH shhh its coming
> 
> Worked my ass off on this chapter so i hope you all like it....!!!
> 
> CONTENT WARNINGS FOR: physical abuse (in the past), flashbacks, just general shittiness by homeworld and themes of trauma

When Pearl walks back into the house, she's greeted by the quiet, peaceful feeling of belonging. _Welcome home,_ she thinks. _This is where you belong. Not dead. Not Homeworld. You paved your way to this. You fought for this, and you'll reap what you earned…_

 

It's dark, it's quiet, and everyone's asleep: Steven in his bed, Amethyst and the kids on the couch. They're getting so big they have to arrange themselves into more contorted positions so they can all snuggle together, but gemlings make it work -- they were fond of cramped, dark spaces.

 

"Mauve was crying for hours," Garnet says, voice hushed so she doesn't wake anyone. "You came back right on time."

 

Pearl smiles, but it quickly dissipates when she notices the environment. There's junk littering the floor -- more than usual, and not just kids' toys, that is. The microwave door is missing, and the lamp that's always stood tall and proud has finally met its demise, tipped over and smashed on the floor.

 

"Was that...did Amethyst...?"

 

"Her," Garnet replies, "and some of the gemlings."

 

"And nobody tried to stop her...?"

 

"We did," Garnet shrugs. "But only Amethyst can stop Amethyst."

 

Pearl says nothing.

 

Garnet continues. "It's not her emotions that are the problem, it's expressing them productively."

 

Pearl's lips tighten. "I'll see you in the morning, Garnet."

 

"Pearl?"

 

"Yes...?"

 

"You're traumatised," Garnet says flatly.

 

Pearl gasps and turns to her, offended. "I'm not _traumatised_."

 

"You are," Garnet says. "Not just by the war, but the way you were treated on Homeworld.”

 

Pearl's fists clench by her sides. She was fine. She was just fine. Except for the part where she wasn't, the part where it felt like every aspect of her being was dictated by the abuse she had faced on Homeworld and the losses she had suffered in the war and, oh, nothing much, just the way she had shaped her identity around a former lover that ended up choosing someone else over her and a delusional post-war fantasy that never happened--

 

...but that was not how her story had begun. 

 

That was where it had ended up, but not the way it had started. It had begun with an inspection, an assigned number, a friend's silencing elbow to the ribs, a hateful flick to her gemstone, and...being pushed in a pool.

 

* * *

 

** HOMEWORLD -- OVER 7,000 YEARS AGO. **

 

_"Wow," Pearl breathed, staring down at the water. It was crystal clear, and the most magical, stunning shade of aqua that she had ever seen. It glistened and shimmered and rippled, and with every glimmer it seemed to change colour. The rocks that dotted the walls of the cave were glowing bright blues and purples, and staring at them made Pearl feel warm, relaxed and content._

 

_As if she wasn't entirely sure that the water was even real, Pearl balanced on the edge of the spring and stared at her own reflection with fascination. As she gazed deeper and deeper, her interest only piqued, and she began to hum to herself, a content smile pulling at her lips._

 

_And then she was pushed in._

 

_Pearl fell into the spring with a splash, flapping her limbs wildly. An obnoxious, cackling laughter filled her ears._

 

_"AHAHAHAHA! Oh, look at your FACE! Did I hurt your feelings?!"_

 

_Pearl's head rose above the water with an angry scowl, but it faded into silence as she got a good look at who had shoved her in. She had never seen a pearl so blindingly yellow -- or so, well...cocky, and fabulous..._

 

_She was getting off track._

 

_"Why did you push me in?!" Pearl snarled._

 

_The other pearl cackled, her voice loud and snotty. "Because you're filth! YOU'RE FILTH! You're a dirty little thing, Homeworld's trash, and I'm just washing you off! Ahahahaha! You were MADE in that water, and that's where you'll go to die! Do you see me?!" she swooned, her hands running up her form, her hips cocking. "You'll never be as good as this! Not one bit! I'm a star, and you're just a little--"_

 

_Pearl grabbed the other pearl's ankle. Her back slammed onto the ground with a dull thud, and Pearl dragged her into the water, shoving her down for good measure. The yellow pearl coughed dramatically and garbled and kicked, then swum up to the surface. Her head rose above the water with a panicked, angry gasp._

 

_"WELL!" she barked, the slightest glimmer of respect beginning to bloom in her gaze. Of all the gems she'd bullied here, not one had taken her into the water with them. "A-aren't you just DREADFUL! O-oh dear, you touched me -- oh my, oh my, oh goodness, I'm filthy now--"_

 

_"The water will wash you off," Pearl cooed in a mock imitation of the other's voice._

 

_The yellow pearl gasped. "Oh, stars, you're broken!" Her arm flew above her brows dramatically. "There's no hope for you! How in the world did you make it past your inspection?!"_

 

_(My friend told me to be quiet, is how...)_

 

_"That's none of your business!" Pearl spat back, beginning to climb out of the water._

 

_"Such an awful, awful attitude...! I suppose your form might be flawless, but you lost me when you opened your little mouth...oh, Yellow Diamond would just CRUSH you under her boots!"_

 

_"Then why don't you go lick them for her?!"_

 

_There was a squawking gasp, and Yellow Diamond's pearl reached to drag her back into the water. She missed her at the last second, and Pearl stood safely, beginning to pad off down the cave's long, illuminated corridor._

 

_“Put your nose down!” Yellow Pearl shrieked._

 

_Pearl turned her nose up._

 

_“Don’t act like you’re proud of what you are just because you’re off duty, you dreadful thing! You’ll never be anything more than what you are!”_

 

* * *

 

_ (Oh, stars.) _

 

Pearl’s eyes were wide, and she had fallen silent. Ever since Peridot had shared her story, it was like a closed door had been re-opened. How long had it been since she had truly acknowledged her early life, long before Rose? Since she had come to terms with it? It was long overdue, she was certain of that. There was so much more, so much more than Rose that had made her a rebel. She’d been defiant since the moment she was formed, and she’d let it all be drowned out by her obsessive love. 

 

She hadn’t gone to war for love, for Rose. She had made herself think that, but she had not. She had gone to war after witnessing and facing discrimination one too many times. She had fought so that all beings could be free of pain and suffering.

 

Love was not her identity, the yearning for justice was.

 

_ (I’m such a…a square. And by the way, Steven, not all pearls know each other, but that was just a very convenient way of avoiding your question, because I might actually — well, a lot of us do, and I might actually know this one, and I just might have earned her respect, and she just might have become my friend thousands of years ago, and I) _

 

“Pearl,” Garnet says, 

 

“I know,” Pearl breathes. “I know, I know, I _know_ , for heaven’s sake, I **_KNOW!_** Can’t you just let me accept it on my own terms?!”

 

“Pearl?” comes Amethyst’s voice. She stirs on the couch, rubbing her eyes her voice hoarse and raspy. “Pearl! Pearl, you’re back!”

 

“Hi, Amethyst,” Pearl says sheepishly. Her cheeks light up and she clasps her hands together. “Sleeping well?”

 

“Yeah, yeah, but — Pearl!”Amethyst scrambles to sit up, rousing the gemlings. Oddly enough, none of them seem to mind their disturbed rest. It’s as if they weren’t sleeping at all. They turn their heads to look at Pearl, except for Violet, who yawns tiredly and buries herself back under the blankets. Amethyst stares at her in concern, lifting the blankets up to take a peek at her. It doesn’t last long, the gemlings cutting through her mind with their shrill chirping and cheering.

 

“Mommy, mommy!” Mauve screams. The three stuffed animals that she demands on sleeping with every night are thrown to the floor, and she dislodges herself from Amethyst’s arms, bounding right on over to Pearl.

 

“Hi, honey!” Pearl squeals, scooping her up and holding her tightly. She remembers when her little girls were actually little. Now they were toddler-sized monsters. Lovely monsters, at least.

 

There was a warm pair of arms around her, and then another, and then some little ones wrapped around her legs, begging for her attention. Pearl heard Steven’s voice — “Pearl, you’re back!” — as he tumbles down the stairs in nothing but sleepwear.She was surrounded by love.

 

From the couch, Violet stirs, her head poking out from under the blankets. She gives a shake, her creamy hair rustling around her. She yawns, stretches, then flops lazily onto the floor with a crass ‘thump’. She stares at Pearl on all fours, lifting one hand to wave, and Pearl laughs, offering a little wave back. 

 

“Hi there, dear…o-oh, all of you, I’ve only been gone a for a few hours!” Holding Mauve with one hand, she tightens an arm around everyone who’s in reach.

 

“Yeah, but we missed you!” Steven says. He looks away, silence setting in. “Um, it’s…not because of me, right?”

 

Pearl laughs again, gently nudging everyone away. She puts a kind hand on Steven’s head, kneeling down to his level. “No, Steven. This is something I’ve been dealing with for a very long time. I should have come to terms with it ages ago, but…” 

 

She sighs, and her mouth begins to go dry, but she pushes herself through it. She can’t stay quiet forever. For her sake, for Steven’s sake, for Amethyst, for her gemlings…she would have to come to terms with her motivations, her past, and what made her who she was today. There was simply no way around it.

 

“I thought I had let _go_ of everything, but Peridot, when she told me, I…got guilty, a-and it all came back to me, and…oh…never mind! I’ll talk to you in the morning, okay, Steven? It’s time for you to go back to bed!”

 

“Aw, Pearl—“

 

“No excuses!”

 

“Okay,” Steven groans. “Goodnight, Pearl. Goodnight, Amethyst…goodnight, Garnet…goodnight, gemlings…”

 

“Night…Steven,” Mauve says, reaching out to pet Steven’s hair.

 

“Bye-bye, Steven,” Lilac whispers softly, waving her hand.

 

Pearl and Amethyst smile tenderly. Their children are so polite.

 

“BYEEE, STEVEN!” Ivory screams at the top of her lungs.

 

Well, most of them.

 

Steven trots up the stairs and crawls into bed. A few minutes later, he was snoring. 

 

Garnet heads toward the door. “I’ll leave you two alone.”

 

Pearl gasps, feeling Amethyst's face pressing deep into her back. “Garnet—“

 

But she was gone. Pearl sighs, and Amethyst’s arms only wrap tighter around her waist. Pearl coaxes the gemlings to scamper back to the nest and places Mauve on the ground, much to her defiance. She protests, stomping her little feet, and Pearl gives her a pat on the back to urge her on. She dances off shyly at last, and all is right with the world.

 

“I’m so glad you’re okay, P,” Amethyst says into her back, her voice muffled and dreamy.

 

“I’m sorry, Amethyst,” Pearl blurts out, as quiet as she possibly can. She had already apologised, but like hell that was enough. Maybe it — she — would never be enough. “I’m sorry for putting myself in danger, for being irresponsible…”

 

“Yeah, haha, that’s _my_ job!”

 

“Amethyst, please,” Pearl begs. “I know you’re angry with me. You tore apart the living room.”

 

“Hey, I had some help!” Amethyst lets go of her. “And why does it matter, anyways? I’m excited to see you back and you have to go and ruin it! Why can’t you let me be happy to see you, huh?! What the hell, Pearl?!”

 

They notice a couple of little heads staring at them in silence. Mauve is holding a book, her whitish hair brushed away from her eyes so that she can gaze expectedly at Pearl.

 

“Sorry,” Amethyst mumbles.

 

“Me, too.”

 

“We’re gonna wake Steven up. Let’s go lie down.”

 

“I can’t sleep,” Pearl gasps. “I’ll have nightmares.”

 

Amethyst looks at her with nothing but sheer pain in her worried eyes. It’s been a long time since Pearl had any nightmares. She’d mistakenly assumed that they were gone for good, and the idea of that progress being undone makes her stomach turn. But she can’t give up on Pearl. She never once has…and Pearl has never given up on her, either. Not now, not ever. Not five hundred years ago, and not this year. They have to keep on going. It’s just a bump in the road. That’s all it ever is.

 

Mauve rattles her knuckles against the hard cover of the book impatiently. Pearl read her and her sisters a bedtime story or sang to them every night. Every night.

 

“Mommy,” she whines. “Please? Book?”

 

“Yes, just a second,” Pearl tells her.

 

Amethyst grabs her hand. “Will you at least cuddle us?”

 

Pearl smiles. “Of course."

 

* * *

 

“Alright, that should be it…”

 

The Crystal Gems — including the miniature ones — had spent the past hour cleaning up the mess that had been left behind after Amethyst’s outburst from the day prior. They had swept the shattered glass from the overturned lamp, rearranged any furniture that was tipped over, and had tidied up the living room as a whole so that it was as neat and presentable as it could be with a giant nest in the middle of it. Quite frankly, no amount of cleanliness really ever lasted long when you had gemlings running around — Pearl still spent most of her time cleaning, and she was certain she would untilher children outgrew the nest and were overall better at taking care of themselves. 

 

Not that it was a big deal, exactly. She enjoyed cleaning. Whether she enjoyed it because she was formed that way or because she was made that way was another story, one that she felt had no simple or easy answer. Most of the pearls that Pearl had known (a rather sizable number) had fervently enjoyed singing and dancing. That had been their culture, and it was so important to them that they offered to dance with each other in greeting over handshakes. Any onlooker would easily determine that the shared love was something ingrained in their biology.

 

But then there had been Mars. Mars, who had been formed by her side. Mars, who had always been an exception. Mars, who had been sardonic, edgy, monotone…and one of the best friends that Pearl had ever had in the entire universe. But she had been more partial to tapdancing over ballet, and she had refused to sing unless her owner (Obsidian) had requested it, embarrassed by how her impressively high vocal range betrayed her comparatively muted personality. She wanted to be sleek and cool, not dramatic and girly.

 

Not that she was mean. The stone in Mars’s navel had not lied once. She was motherly, supportive, and cared for everyone. She always had her arm around somebody’s shoulders, a smug, chill grin on her face, and an open mind. She simply hadn’t always fit in.

  

Pearl wondered if her pearl gemlings would be naturally inclined to such interests. She did her best to not interfere terribly much on that regard, as the nature versus nurture aspect had her intrigued. After all, considering the ban on pearls breeding, she had never seen another pearl gemling until now, although she did not doubt their potential existence: being forbidden to breed and heat suppressants did not equal an absence of ability. Homeworld had still given them the ability to produce gemlings ‘just in case’, and thousands of years ago, long before security was tightened thanks to Pearl and Rose, things had been easier to get away with. If she knew the right gems, if she bribed the higher ups, if she kept her nose down, a pearl could have gotten away with anything back then.

 

Just like Pearl had. Except she did it with her nose up.

 

There were some signs that Mauve and Ivory might grow to enjoy some typical pearl interests. Their gaits were a big clue; only a pearl walked so deliberately and carefully yet effortlessly. Recently, Mauve — and her quartz siblings — had also taken an interest in singing, frequently cooing Pearl’s melodies back at her. It was quite entertaining to watch, Pearl thought. Amethysts on Homeworld wouldn’t be caught dead singing, though the brutish reputation that they had was largely undeserved. There had been all kinds of big, bad guards in Pearl’s living district, and the amethysts had always treated her with respect. They’d never once laid a hand on her, unlike the others, and though they stood tall and proud, they were goofy and broke character the moment you told them a joke. 

 

They were also tremendously easy to flirt with. There had been a pearl that was notorious for bribing higher-ups with sex to get her ass out of the trouble she so frequently found herself in, and she’d slept with about half or more of those amethysts. The ethics of that were certainly questionable, but questionable ethics did not stop the behaviour of any living being, not gems nor humans nor animals.

 

Pearl’s lips tug upwards in a grin. It was no surprise that Amethyst was such a sensual, soft lover compared to her brash personality. She was a softie.

 

Feeling the urge begin to bubble in her throat, Pearl sang a couple notes. A few seconds later, Mauve cooed the same melody back. She erupted into giggles, clapping her hands together in delight over the sound of her own voice, a massive smile stretching over her face. Her shyness and nervousness had melted away.

 

Pearl’s hands flew to her heart. She loved her children so much. She sang another little tune, and this time Violet chirped back at her, dissolving into a fit of laughter alongside her sister Mauve immediately afterwards. Pearl grins hugely and plants a kind hand on her head, ruffling her creamy blonde hair. Much to her delight, Violet leans into her touch, chirpy and happy, rather than backing away.

 

It was times like these that restored Pearl’s faith that everything would be okay. Violet would be just fine. She would grow to be just fine, regardless of her runty size. All of Pearl’s children would love and accept her no matter what. They would understand her intentions for fighting the war, for saving the planet, and she would tell them stories of how the Crystal Gems had stood up to injustice and tyranny. She was not a perfect gem; she had never claimed to be, but at least she’d never owned a gem like property. At least she’d never brought demise upon another planet. Instead she had retaliated and defended her values. And if a Homeworld gem pointed their finger at her, they had conveniently forgotten the atrocities of the Diamonds and those who willfully obeyed them that had led her to fight in the first place.

 

“Right,” Amethyst says, kneeling. “Guess we should get going, huh? C’mon, guys! You ready? Wanna take your dinosaurs?”

 

“Oh...? Where are you going?”

 

“We gotta get a new lamp, P.”

 

Pearl blinks. “I’ll come with you, then.”

 

“Nah,” Amethyst says, scooping Violet and Ivory up, one for each arm. “You got someone to talk to, don’t you?”

 

She nods her head at Garnet, who proceeds to dump Steven off her shoulders and onto the couch. He laughs and tumbles a bit before sitting up straight, grinning at Pearl. “Hi, Pearl.”

 

“O-oh!” Pearl stammers. “Yes, but I...you’ll need me to help you pick one out, won’t you?”

 

Amethyst snorts. “For a lamp? Nah. Just get the same one.”

 

“But Amethyst, I...”

 

Amethyst plants a big kiss on Pearl’s cheek. “It’s all good, babe. Just chill out and take some time to talk.”

 

Pearl turns and looks at her, meeting her gaze and holding it. The seconds tick by, but it’s of no concern — they had an eternity.

 

“Guys?”

 

“Aye aye,” Amethyst says. She’d salute if there weren’t two gemlings in her arms. “Let’s go, Garnet. Take care of Pearl, Steven!”

 

The gemlings wave goodbye to Pearl.Pearl waves weakly back.

 

"Good luck, Pearl," Garnet says. 

 

“You got this, P!”

 

The door closes.

 

“D’oooh,” Pearl breathes, her face falling into her hands. So much for being so sure of herself. So much for being confident. At the end of the day, she was still a pearl, and she would always be a pearl, and pearls were quiet and weak and pathetic and _SUBMISSIVE_ and _DID_ what they were **_TOLD_** and…

 

Suddenly, she took a deep breath, and her head shot up. “Okay!” she announces. “We can do this. Hello, Steven. Did you sleep well?”

 

“Yeah,” Steven says, smiling. He eyes Pearl suspiciously, wondering if he should really even bother prodding her memories further. Maybe not everything was meant to be revisited or shared. Where did they draw the line? “Did _you_ sleep, Pearl?”

 

She shakes her head. “No. I was… Never mind! Let’s get right to the point. I—“

 

“We don’t need to talk if you don’t want to,” Steven says, gentle and soft and full of earnest concern. “I know it’s really hard for you.”

 

Pearl shakes her head once more. “I want to talk, Steven. I want you to understand.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Pearl takes another deep, whistling breath, and tries to wipe her clammy hands as inconspiciously as possible. She lets the silence settle, then her chest swells with determination.

 

“Not all gems are good at heart,” she says. “We’ve been fighting each other for thousands of years.”

 

“But they can change, can’t they?”  


 

“Yes, Steven. _Yes_. But it's not that _simple_. You have no _idea_ what kind of mark Homeworld has left in the galaxy all to expand our already well-populated empire! There’s simply no excuse for that. We can reproduce in other ways. Gems are interested in power and control, not fairness."

 

Steven’s fists clenched. “But all gems deserve a chance! Isn’t that what my mom wanted? What if they didn’t know any better because they were taught that way?” 

 

Pearl nearly chokes in offense, like a pillar of ice has erupted in her stomach, piercing her throat. “The war didn’t happen overnight, Steven! We _gave_ them a chance — hundreds of _years_ of chances! And many gems _took_ that chance. They _joined_ us! But not all of them did. They weren’t just brainwashed, but they were willfully cruel. Rose didn't want a war, but it was her only remaining option! What were we supposed to do besides defend the Earth?! W-when they hurt me, what was I supposed to do besides—…”

 

She swallows, the memories flooding her being and paralysing her. _That_ had been ages ago. Why did it hurt so bad? Even when she was ownerless, she was slave to her emotions.

 

“There’s something I want to show you, Steven,” Pearl says, tenting her hands. She swore that out of all the nervousness she had ever felt in her life, there was nothing that would compare to how she felt right now. “I…well, it might give you a good bit of insight into why…why some things can't just be _glossed_ over. It was never _just_ about Earth, or Rose, or…”

 

“Are you going to be okay?"

 

Pearl nods solemnly.

 

“Okay,” Steven says, nodding fiercely. “I’m ready, Pearl.”

 

Pearl closes her eyes.

And then a bubble spewed from her gemstone.

 

* * *

 

** HOMEWORLD. OVER 7,000 YEARS AGO. **

 

_ “Oh,” Pearl breathed. “Wow.” _

 

_ It was magical. Absolutely magical. She had exited the cave, and was soaking in the sight of where she would be residing after work. She was standing in the town square, its flooring made of checkered tile, and if she walked further, there were spiraling staircases to the left and right leading up to the higher levels…and ultimately, a palace. Everything was made out of some kind of shimmery blue-silver marble, and was adorned with more of those glowing blue and purple rocks. It was wet and misty and cool and refreshing and water was falling from the sky. There was a gorgeous fountain in the middle in the square, a sculpture of two pearls dancing rising from it — and off in the distance she could see the mouth of a cave that was larger than life itself, a massive, crashing waterfall guarding its entrance. _

 

_ There were so many gems. Not just pearls, but lapis lazulis, opals, turquoises, every kind of gem that enjoyed and thrived in the water. Besides the guards, that is. Those were your standard quartz gems, standing mean and tall and proud, slapping their batons in their palms over and over. They didn’t appear to enjoy the water falling from the sky and soaking them. _

 

_ “Excuse me!” _

 

_ Pearl turned her head. There was a pearl there, perched up on a little balcony. She had mint skin and curly black hair tumbling over her forehead. There was something strange around her neck. She pointed to the ground. “Could you get that for me, dear?” _

 

* * *

  

“Um...Pearl? I can’t really understand anything.”

 

"What...? Oh! That's my bad."

 

The memory fired up again, this time with English subtitles.

 

* * *

  

_ Pearl picked the little electronic book up and raised herself up on her toes so that the other pearl could snatch it from her hand.  _

 

_ “Thank you! You’re a real doll.” The pearl tapped the screen of her book and it automatically flipped to the next page with a turning animation. "You're new here, aren't you? Be careful!"_

 

_ "Why? Is there something here?" _

 

_"There's more pearls living here than anywheee~re else on Homeworld. But, my, not everyone's so fond of us...!" _

 

_ Pearl's eyebrows lifted. "Because...?" _

 

_ The pearl’s eyes widened with the sudden revelation; the revelation that the other party was blissfully ignorant to a particularly awful reality of the world. “That’s…hee-hee, well, dear, it’s mostly just **your** crowd…oh, not to be rude! But the fresher ones can get a bit…noisy." _

 

_ Pearl frowned, and her nose scrunched. "Doesn't it get reported? There are guards everywhere."_

 

_ "Of course! But the Diamonds have much bigger concerns than a couple hundred pearls...they're all off conquering planets! It's aaa~ll left up to the guards here. Besides, there's nothing wrong with a bit of fun, is there? You’re all so dreadfully exhausted after working and having to keep quiet all the time, and we're such easily **excitable**  gems... But us older pearls, oh, we’re a bit…” _

 

_ “Yes…?” _

 

_ “Well, the way we’re treated, it…gets to you eventually! It’s…tiring.” She sighed drearily. _

 

_ And then she began to look uncomfortable. Her hands flew to her neck as if she was being choked, and a frightening, electrifying jolt ran through her. _

 

_ “No,” she breathed. “N-no, I…I forgot, oh, goodness, no...” _

 

_ Her hands moved from her neck to her head, clutching with unbearable pain as the pressure built. And then a projection erupted from the collar. _

 

_ “Pearl! Where have you been? I summoned you earlier—“ _

 

_ “Yes! Yes! Right away, ma’am!” _

 

_ “You’ve been misbehaving lately. You know what they say, right? Three strikes! And how many damn times has it been? Might as well just get a new pearl already…” _

 

_ “We can do that for you,” somebody said behind the gem on the screen. _

 

_ The pearl nervously twitched, her eyes wide and boggling as terror surged through her. “I-I’m sorry, ma’am! I’m coming right now!” _

 

_ The projection ceased. _

 

_ The pearl stared blankly into space for a few moments as she processed her own fate. She reached numbly to rub at her raw neck, then forced a smile at Pearl. _

 

_ “I’ll see you later, okay?"_

 

* * *

 

“Pearl?”

 

“Yes, Steven?”  


 

“What was that gem wearing?”

 

Pearl swallows. “Do you know what a shock collar is, Steven?” Pearl asks, numb and empty.

 

"Like for dogs?"

 

Pearl nods. Tears leak out of her eyes and roll down her cheeks, her heart hammering painfully in her chest.

 

"Um, did...did you have to wear one of those?"

 

Pearl nods.

 

She felt herself being embraced by Steven, and she was no longer devoid but full instead, full of love, of purpose, of meaning. She was free, and she had been free for thousands of years. And above all else, she had fought the war for freedom, not just for her freedom but for the freedom of others. She had gone to war for that. She would do it again.

 

Rose had never _made_ her a rebel. They simply had shared their ideals.

 

“I never saw her again,” Pearl whispers, her arms tight around Steven. “They killed her. They put those _things_ on us when we misbehave like we're...like we're animals...”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

"Do you understand, Steven? Why I had to...?"

 

Steven nods. "I'm glad you saved Earth, Pearl. And I'm glad you're here now."


End file.
